Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - Spend a moment today writing down every Hall & Oates song that you can remember. Then wonder why laws were never passed to stop them. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) - A great day to take the car in for a tune-up. Insist that the mechanics do it for free because you're helping them "practice." Cancer (June 21 - July 22) - Waste some time today reading ZUG's PumpkinCam prank. Leo (July 23 - August 22) - Make a date with danger. Unless danger is all tied up for the evening, in which case you should ask him if next Friday's open. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) - Wherever you go today, hand out generosity and goodwill. If you go through a toll booth, why not pay for the person behind you? Just make sure the toll booth collector doesn't pocket the money. Libra (September 23 - October 22) - Buy all the elastic you can today. You will need it shortly. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) - Go to McDonald's today and ask for a Big Mac, hold the sesame seeds on the bun. Demand that they pick them off if that's what it takes. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) - Everywhere you go today, weave a carefully-crafted web of deceit. Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) - Write a letter to the food column of your local newspaper, demanding to know why eggs and flour don't taste good by themselves, but they're so good in a cake. Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) - When was the last time you visited the opthomologist? When was the last time you successfully spelled "opthomologist" without consulting a dictionary? Pisces (February 19 - March 20) - Buy a stun gun. Go to the poultry section of your local grocery store. Fire the gun at the meat. Explain that you recently bought some chicken breasts that were still alive, and you just wanna make sure. Aries (March 21 - April 19) - Try to invent some new punctuation today. Use it in all business-related documents. Refuse to explain. YOUR "LUCKY" RANDOMLY COMPUTER-GENERATED NUMBERS: 51, 98599, 51
|
