The GigaCleanse™ Diet: Day 4

DAY 4. Starting weight: 151.5 pounds.

Well, the spammer was right: today was much, much easier. I was clear, focused, and even energetic. I have escaped the clutches of the caffeine addiction, and my mind tricks are working. In the words of James Brown after he beat his wife, "I feel good!"

My life has now settled into a kind of routine: I get up, do my ten minutes of affirmation, make the saltwater drink (the industry term is SWF, for "Salt Water Flush" or "Shit, that Water's Foul"), fix my jug of lemonade, then sip it throughout the day. At night, it's a tablespoon of my colon cleansing supplement, couple of glasses of spring water, ten minutes of self-hypnosis, and off to bed.

You would think that you would feel constantly hungry on the GigaCleanse™, and while you do feel a pit of emptiness in your stomach, and while you do want to violently murder anyone who is cooking food nearby, you are not constantly focused on eating. The cayenne pepper in the lemonade drink apparently acts as a hunger suppressant, and of course the "mind cleanse" tricks you into thinking that you're feeling full. It's still difficult, but it's easier than you'd think.

The only thing that gets you is the smell of food, which becomes incredibly heightened and intense. When I came home tonight, I was hit full-force with the aroma of fried potato pancakes that my wife was making the kids for dinner. It was like a full-on body blow to the abdomen.

These looked amazingly good:

So did all this:

And even this:

I went to bed sobbing softly.

On the bright side, I'm almost at the halfway mark, and it's all downhill from there.