The GigaCleanse™ Diet: Day 8

Starting weight: 150 pounds. I'm now up to Day 8, and have lost an average of more than one pound a day. Beat that, Jenny Craig!

Salt-n-Pepa.

DAY 8. Starting weight: 150 pounds. Today we add the colon cleansing supplement, creating a trifecta of cleansing (body, mind, and butt).

In the original Master Cleanse diet, Stanley Burroughs, the freak who invented the diet, recommended drinking laxative tea each night before bedtime. In my experience, this is totally unnecessary -- the quart of salt water in the morning will clean out everything within an hour. You'll find meals that you ate back in the mid-1990's, missing keys, loose pocket change, etc.

I can't say this tastes good. But after eight straight days of pepper lemonade, your taste buds will shut down and move out of your mouth.

On the last three days of the GigaCleanse™, you replace the laxative tea with a colon cleaning supplement containing psyllium seed husks. Psyllium is an absorbent plant material that's found in supplements like Colonix or Metamucil -- it expands like a sponge as it goes through your insides, cleaning out the nooks and crannies.

All you have to do is choke down one-half tablespoon at night, in a glass of water, and let the psyllium expand to its spongy goodness. The next morning, drink your salt water and wait an hour. Starting today, instead of chocolate milk, you'll be making chocolate angel food cake.

Another dessert ruined forever.