Prank Phone Call to Ex-Lax

As kids, everyone jokes about slipping their friends a massive dose of Ex-Lax. The thought of someone spending hours hunched over the commode, all because they ate a piece of tasty chocolate, seems hilarious.

Trust me, there is no hilarity in it.

Customer Support: Thank you for calling Novartis, how can I assist you?

Jeff: Yes, I recently took your product and I am finding myself unable to leave the toilet.

CS: May I first have your name sir?

Jeff: John.

CS: And what product are you calling about, John?

Jeff: Maximum strength Ex-Lax Chocolate.




CS: Okay, what is your problem?

Jeff: Well, I accidently misinterpreted the directions and took six times the suggested dose.

CS: [Alarmed] Now how many pieces did you take??

Jeff: Well ... let's see. How many are in a bar?

CS: There are twelve pieces in a bar.

Jeff: Twelve.

CS: You took twelve pieces!?

Jeff: Yes. I thought it was a Hershey bar.

CS: Can you tell me your symptoms?

Jeff: It feels like a small bomb exploded in my intestines.




CS: So you have pain, yes?

Jeff: Lady, you have no idea! Somebody's playing the 1812 Overture in my colon.

CS: Have you contacted your doctor?

Jeff: Yes, he laughed and told me it would pass. Oh, it's passing alright.

CS: How long ago did you take the product?

Jeff: Oh what, two days now.

CS: Two days!?

Jeff: Yeah, no big deal, I just need to know when it’s going to stop. I can't leave the toilet! My ass is numb.

CS: What did your doctor say?

Jeff: I told you, he laughed. He doesn't know much about ass.

CS: I cannot tell you when it will finish, since you took over the recommended dose.

Jeff: Look, my toilet is stained brown. Can you guys at least reimburse me for some toilet cleaner?




CS: I am sorry, sir... [Suddenly interrupted by a loud, explosive fart]

Jeff: Oh God!

CS: Sir, you need to consult your doctor or pharmacist. We cannot legally tell you what to do.

Jeff: Is it supposed to smell like plastic?

CS: Sir, can I please have your number?

Jeff: Oh God, hold on... [Running water, loud toilet flush, more gas]

CS: Sir, can I please have your number in case we need to contact your doctor?

Jeff: No. This is already embarrassing enough. I just need to know how long I'll have to sit in agony here. The toilet seat is cutting off circulation to my legs.

CS: [Silence]

Jeff: I will tell you one thing, it is sure as hell not "smooth and gentle overnight relief"! I can't sleep for shit, and I use that term loosely. Get it? Loosely?

CS: [Silence]

Jeff: Because my bowels are loose?

CS: Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?

Jeff: Trust me, you and your product have done enough!

CS: [Click]