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Put Me to Sleep:
World's Best
Insomnia Remedies
by Rentut
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Week Two: Edible Cures
 As
someone who has problems getting to sleep, I recently took on a three-week
regimen of trying every insomnia remedy in the world. In Week One, I
tried different pre-sleep routines. In Week Two, I went with an alternate
school of thought: If you battle with insomnia, eat something.
WEEK TWO: FOOD REMEDIES
Some folks feel that what you put in is what you get out, with sleep
being no exception. Old wives' tales live freely here, as do homeopathic
remedies and the world of "herbal supplements."
1) Milk. Result: Very effective. Drinking
a glass of warm milk before bed is the oldest of all the old wives'
tales. However, Mom's Magical Cure is backed by science: milk contains
Tryptophan, also known as "chemical T." Tryptophan helps the
body release serotonin, which relaxes you. It is, in fact, something
simple you can do to start that chain reaction.
The first night, I drank a glass of warm, whole milk. Ten minutes later,
I was out like Richard Simmons. (Out-of-style, I mean.) I drank milk
for a couple nights, just to be certain. It worked every time.
2) Teaspoon of honey. Result: Completely ineffective.
This old wives' tale is bogus. I think it stems from sugar and honey
being precious back in the old days, before we made it the bottom of
our American food pyramid. So telling a kid it'll do the trick is because
it was special, and nothing else. In reality, honey, its effectiveness
was zero.
3) Turkey. Result: Delicious. Notorious
for its holiday nap-inducing abilities, turkey was definitely on the
agenda. My goal was to get as close as possible to a full turkey dinner
without having to cook for two days. I considered a mashed potato/cranberry
sauce/turkey smoothie, but instead went to the sub shop by
my house that offers a turkey sandwich that is "as close to Thanksgiving
dinner as it gets."
"The Gobbler," as it is known, has stuffing, mashed potatoes,
cranberry sauce, spinach casserole and both light and dark meat, all
packed into a sandwich. Although the Gobbler was tasty, it was ineffective.
I fell asleep, but it was a general food coma, and didn't last. Also,
I'm no Julia Child, but that thing was huge and heavy. If you
easily get heartburn, don't toy with this idea: the turkey will
bite back.
4) Sleepytime tea. Result: Ineffective.
Chamomile tea? More like Lame-o-mile tea. Tasty, nice ritual,
relaxing, but not much by way of results. Soothing, but not sedating.
Mostly I just became calm and quiet, like a happy librarian. Yuck.
WEEK TWO SUMMARY: Milk worked perfectly, for reals.
And though the turkey is an age-old belief, my turkey dinner sub was
less sedating and more something you'd eat to get your photo on the
restaurant's wall of fame.
I had one more week to go. It was time to tackle the final frontier of
insomnia remedies: natural remedies.
Next: Herbal Remedies!
>>
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