aushie spoonhanger 5,580 13
11/05/2001 01:17 PM

I'm going to try #6 at work next week.

Chouggy 5,183 13
11/05/2001 01:19 PM

No!!!



Stay away from me, Uncle Nutbutter!

Nutbutter 181,255 35
11/05/2001 01:19 PM

9) Always keep your sphincter well lubricated so that it will hurt less when you are forcably sodomized."

bridgie 223 11
11/05/2001 01:22 PM

10. Don't let anyone touch your special "no, no" spot. (unless you want them to)

Crickette 2,472 12
11/05/2001 01:24 PM

So apparently the trick to kidnapping a young child is to already have one with you.....

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
11/05/2001 01:29 PM

11) While being raped in an alley behind a bar, use this free moment to reflect on exactly why you seem to be unable to realize that there is no such thing as a free drink.

aushie spoonhanger 5,580 13
11/05/2001 01:35 PM

Crickette, that's exactly what I thought when I read that.

Clagnuts 1,063 11
11/05/2001 01:58 PM

Clickie for Vic and numbah 11!

audy 118 11
11/05/2001 02:18 PM

If only I had remembered #10 2 months ago...



*shudder*

Declan McManus's average ego 131,867 36
11/05/2001 02:22 PM

#12

Always start out with clean underwear.

Feeble's Engorged Male Ego 32,400 15
11/05/2001 02:41 PM

#13 Always remember that lollypops are cooler than 98.6 degrees F.

Sneeze 1,094 12
11/05/2001 02:53 PM

This is the funniest thread I've seen at GAB yet.

Feeble's Engorged Male Ego 32,400 15
11/05/2001 02:55 PM

#14 - Nice ladies do not have 5 O'clock shadow.

bridgie 223 11
11/05/2001 03:07 PM

#15. Nice women also don't have adams apples.

Declan McManus's average ego 131,867 36
11/05/2001 03:08 PM

#16 Nice ladies always wear gloves.

Feeble's Engorged Male Ego 32,400 15
11/05/2001 03:09 PM

#16 If a man lures you into his car, and starts driving to a secluded area, keep looking hard for the puppy he was talking about, because otherwise he might get mad and hurt you.

1bigdork 7,825 12
11/05/2001 03:10 PM

#16 Just because a man tells you that a van with curtains is a taxi doesn't make it true. The driver has to be a foreigner.

131,867 36
11/05/2001 03:10 PM

Declan!



You remembered!



Nana Standish always

said that a true lady

never left the house

unless she was properly

gloved.



Of course, 'gloved'

now means something else.

froglord 9,243 13
11/05/2001 03:11 PM

#17 - There are not any "lollipops" in the confessional booth.

Declan McManus's average ego 131,867 36
11/05/2001 03:12 PM

Claire-



How could I forget?



Nana Standish was the most memorable person I met on

Welcoming Day.

Drukqs 0 0
11/05/2001 03:13 PM

#17. I LIKE POPCORN!~~1!

Feeble's Engorged Male Ego 32,400 15
11/05/2001 03:15 PM

#18 - Parking your car in the darkest part of the parking lot does not keep the criminals from noticing it.

lPGgoNPchATi6 77,546 17
11/05/2001 03:16 PM

#18. If a man walks up to you and tells you his name is "Nutbutter" kick him in the balls and run like hell.

bridgie 223 11
11/05/2001 03:21 PM

#19. Sometimes when someone says "It's okay, you're supposed to put it there" they're lying.

Drukqs 0 0
11/05/2001 03:25 PM

#27. POPCORN IS GOOD!!!!~1!1!

223 11
11/05/2001 03:26 PM

Yeah, i know.

0 0
11/05/2001 03:32 PM

hey, if it wasn't for me, popcorn would taste like styrofoam!

223 11
11/05/2001 03:34 PM

Dude! Hello? You guys are losers without me.

1bigdork 7,825 12
11/05/2001 03:42 PM

If your date is holding the popcorn tub in the middle of his lap, remember that the bottom is not supposed to be butterdegradable.

Princess(didn't get laid this weekend)Trixxie 65,021 15
11/05/2001 03:43 PM

I hereby declair this thread wrong by royal decree.

bridgie 223 11
11/05/2001 03:45 PM

I'm sorry about your non-getting-laidiness.

Princess(didn't get laid this weekend)Trixxie 65,021 15
11/05/2001 03:46 PM

apparently it's made me bitter

bridgie 223 11
11/05/2001 03:48 PM

bitter? nah

audy 118 11
11/05/2001 03:56 PM

#28: Stay off the road when a maniacal Emerson hijacks a car.

1bigdork 7,825 12
11/05/2001 03:59 PM

Clickie for anyone who can interpret my rambling movie reference.

0 0
11/05/2001 04:05 PM

I knew you were retarded, audy, but please go back and look at the numbers... you skipped 20 through 26.

Princess(come get a ride on the love pump)Trixxie 65,021 15
11/05/2001 04:07 PM

20 - 26 don't go within 1/4 mile of Trixxie's House when she's drunk.

audy 118 11
11/05/2001 04:09 PM

Hey, Elroy: Like I give a Shakespeare.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
11/05/2001 04:09 PM

I believe the movie being referenced was "Diner".

0 0
11/05/2001 04:11 PM

audy == dirty whore...



the bad kind

audy 118 11
11/05/2001 04:13 PM

Then I share something in common w/ your mom, now don't I, Elroy?

1bigdork 7,825 12
11/05/2001 04:13 PM

Correct Vicar. I thought that I was babbling into a vacuum.



Now I feel alive.



And pretty.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
11/05/2001 04:13 PM

EE-wreck-tile

Diss-funk-shun

Princess(come get a ride on the love pump)Trixxie 65,021 15
11/05/2001 04:16 PM

Did HBE fly out to meet Audy, propostion her for sex and get turned down???? I don't remember reading about it, but then who can keep up.

0 0
11/05/2001 04:17 PM

Hehe.



audy's sharp-minded wit is always ready with one of those killer "your mother" jokes.



Ouch! that stings!



</sarcasm>

Id 1,116 11
11/05/2001 04:35 PM

Never take gifts from strangers! You may have to pay significant taxes on them.

Candie Kohrne's Big Ego 8,640 15
11/05/2001 04:41 PM

#29 Don't chant Allah Akbar in the Empire State Building.

Princess(come get a ride on the love pump)Trixxie 65,021 15
11/05/2001 04:51 PM

Eel in the bag, catch the trouser snake and bad boy dress up are not Milton Bradley Games.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
11/05/2001 06:29 PM

take better notes, imp.

Feeble's Engorged Male Ego 32,400 15
11/05/2001 07:04 PM

#30: If someone approaches you wearing a Gab / Computer Stew t-shirt, Federal law permits you to open fire with any weapon of less than 50 caliber and a clip smaller than 12 bullets.

Adrian Von Buttcrack 13,341 13
11/05/2001 07:12 PM

#31 #30: If someone approaches you wearing nothing but a Gab / Computer Stew t-shirt, Federal law permits you to open fire with anything up to the size of a tomhawk missile.

Adrian Von Buttcrack 13,341 13
11/05/2001 07:12 PM

FEH! Sloppy cut'n'paste job.

Feeble's Engorged Male Ego 32,400 15
11/05/2001 07:28 PM

The "tomhawk" missile is used to fire a male feline at raptors.

Adrian Von Buttcrack 13,341 13
11/05/2001 07:37 PM

..Wich could come in handy.

Cap'n Stuby (MAJIN GO!) 17,826 13
11/05/2001 07:40 PM

#27.4: Your dog died because Jesus hates you. Why do you make Him hate you?

HC: The Other White Meat 16,937 8
03/23/2006 12:05 AM

I think Aushie was the original Jilly. Reading the first post on here cracked me up.

newwave 45,912 10
03/23/2006 01:11 AM

At least Aushie had an article. Looks to be back from before Chi Chi was approving them, though. And instead, maybe a random number generator set to output "1" all the time.











You know, 1 for true.















Because it, like, approved them all.

HC: The Other White Meat 16,937 8
03/23/2006 01:22 AM

That's an article? Looked more like a C&P job to me.



Kind of like Jilly's lists.

HC: The Other White Meat 16,937 8
03/23/2006 01:46 AM

#32. I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney than drive with Dale Earnhardt.