Squeamish 38,986 14
12/26/2001 01:09 PM

Your parents love your sister more because she's not adopted.

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 01:09 PM

instead of being used at Express or Gap, were used at this cheap, trashy store



Express and the Gap aren't hesap trashy stores?

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
12/26/2001 01:10 PM

For your 18th birthday, I'll give you a pearl necklace.

EvilPanda 4,807 13
12/26/2001 01:11 PM

Just be happy you got anything at all, Brooke. With the attitude you're displaying right now, I wouldn't have gotten you anything.

Trae (please return me to my upright position) 156,785 17
12/26/2001 01:14 PM

A grey sweater with pom-poms??





Pahlease... you might want to re-read your post there sunshine.



a.) it looks like someone is acting a little spoiled.



b.) who wears sweaters w/Pom poms??

EvilPanda 4,807 13
12/26/2001 01:16 PM

Cheerleaders?

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
12/26/2001 01:21 PM

Are cheerleaders still allowed to wear split-crotch panties?

Squeamish 38,986 14
12/26/2001 01:21 PM

>who wears sweaters w/Pom poms??



Brooke's little sister.

Brooke 0 0
12/26/2001 01:22 PM

Following this, we head on down to Mom's boyfriend's mother's house for Christmas dinner. First, though, we must watch everyone open their gifts. Actually, it was his mother (who I'll call Edna) opening her gifts, and crying after each one. "Ooh, you got me a CANDLE-HOLDER? I think I'll weep with emotion now. Ooh, is that a PAN? Someone hand me the Kleenex." Everyone else got two or three packages, my sister and I, one. Soap from Edna. Gee, thanks. Oh, I almost forgot the stocking. A calendar of "Inspirational Nature Scenes" and tube socks. Then there was the old lady sitting next to me, who laughed whenever I looked at her. I don't know why. Maybe she was trying to be friendly in her own sick way. Freak. There was Greg, who farted constantly, Little Timmy, who ran around screaming, and Hank 'n' Gertie, the most annoying little kids on the planet. My only consolation was my sister and the secret hand language we'd worked out a few moments before we got there. It consisted of: Rubbing our eyes- I wanna go home, and Playing with our hair- They're bugging the Shakespeare out of me.

Squeamish 38,986 14
12/26/2001 01:22 PM

She's 14

</stalker>

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 01:25 PM

if you woudl have put the soap in the tube socks, you could have beat edna with them.

Nut(Jim)butter 181,255 35
12/26/2001 01:25 PM

spoiled little bitch.



You know what little Afghani kids got this Christmas?



Arms and legs in a pile, that's what!

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 01:26 PM

Ignore Jim, his parents should have given him a good beating for christmas.

Trae (please return me to my upright position) 156,785 17
12/26/2001 01:29 PM

>Hank 'n' Gertie, the most annoying little kids on the planet.





Find solace that when lil' Henry and Gertrude grow up, they will probably get the Shakespeare beat out of them because of their dorky names.

Feeble, Defender of the True Faith 32,400 15
12/26/2001 01:36 PM

Oh, dear. A teenager has revealed that 1) Her parents aren't the people she'd choose for friends, and 2) Her mom doesn't have the same taste in clothes that she does.



STOP THE PRESSES!



Surely, neither of these events has ever, ever happened before!



Oh, dear, you had to spend time with your mother and her boyfriend's family.



Does your mother love you? Does she do more for you in the average day, than you have done for her in your whole little life? Very likely. So shuddup, quit whining, be glad you aren't being beaten or molested tonight, and remember that it costs somewhere between $100k-$200k to raise a child from birth to the age of 18, and it's absolutely guaranteed that everything you've ever done for you mom in your entire life could be purchased for one percent of that.

Brooke 0 0
12/26/2001 01:37 PM

Dammit, I'm not done yet!

So, following the gift-opening festivities, Lil' Sis and I adjourned to the other room to talk about these freaks behind their backs. While we did this, passing a diet Sprite back and forth between us, Edna walks in. "Ooh, girls, while you're there, would you mind sitting there for dinner?"

Lil' Sis looked at me, eyes wild with fear. She mouthed the names of the three kids, while directing her gaze to the three unoccupied chairs. Shakespeare, I thought, then said, "Um, actually Edna, we prefer sitting out there. Do you think we could do that, instead?"

"Ooh, well, I think that would mess up my seating order. Why don't you just sit in here?"

Thankfully, Mom came out and sat with us, which really pissed Edna off. "But Edna," she protested, smiling sweetly, "I want to sit with my girls for this holiday." However, when we went to go get our food, I discovered that all of the dishes had some sort of meat in them (and I've decided to be a real vegetarian again), so I was stuck with some watery coleslaw and two stale rolls.

Merry Frost-ing Christmas.

Nut(Jim)butter 181,255 35
12/26/2001 01:38 PM

'smatta, Feeble, did Holiday Hogan decide to spend Christmas elsewhere this year?

froglord 9,243 13
12/26/2001 01:39 PM

Opening fire with automatic weapons adds excitement to gatherings that you wish would end.

Nut(Jim)butter 181,255 35
12/26/2001 01:40 PM

Brooke, shut the Frost up you whining little maggot.

froglord 9,243 13
12/26/2001 01:42 PM

Feeble's kids all pooled their money for his christmas gift this year. The card and pack of gum deeply touched Feebs, and he is still sharing the overwhelming emotion this touching gesture sparked.

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/26/2001 01:45 PM

And I thought that I was the only one with a dorky name.



Brooke, grow some backbone and tell your mother that you want to return the clothes. Fashion is subjective. You prefer your Shakespearety taste to her Shakespearety taste.



Some gifts you shouldn't take back, but clothes are one that you can. Don't go for that "Mom's feelings are hurt" emotional blackmail Shakespeare. What do you care -- she likes her dickwad boyfriend and your sister better than you anyway.



As an aside: Mrs. Dork's mother gave her an ugly ass sweater at the beginning of this trip. We call it her Bridget Jones sweater. And can you put a price tag on the gift of laughter?



And you don't like pretending to be a family with some folks who you will never see after the boyfriend gets tired of banging your mom? Have some fun with it. Burn a bridge or three. Be surly.



When everyone is at dinner ask your mother when you and your sister will get to play with the new dog. "Which one?". The one that I heard howling in your bedroom when the boyfriend came over on Christmas Eve.



You don't get many chances like this in life. Savor them.



Ho Ho Ho

Nut(Jim)butter 181,255 35
12/26/2001 01:50 PM

It's the MTV that ruins kids like this.

Feeble, Defender of the True Faith 32,400 15
12/26/2001 01:52 PM

You're right. I'm in Colorado with my wife, the kids are in California with my ex-wife, and my only contact with them was via telephone.



As far as I know, they didn't get me anything. They never do.



I think I'll sulk a little. Has anyone got a good topic to whine about?



Oh, yeah, I should be under the house right now stapling fabric over the insultation. GAAAHHHH I hate working under the house!

froglord 9,243 13
12/26/2001 02:58 PM

Make sure you put the wheel chocks in place before working under the house.

EvilPanda 4,807 13
12/26/2001 03:07 PM

Daer Brooke,



You are an idiot. Quit whining.



Love,

Evil Panda

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 03:10 PM

Dear Brooke,



come to shoelace, but don't cross a state line doing it.



uhhh.. nevermind.

Superkitten 3,425 0
12/26/2001 03:11 PM

Oh for Frost's sake.

Superkitten 3,425 0
12/26/2001 03:13 PM

Everyone, stop flaming Brooke. Her mere presence drives the evils of Fr0d and Kenshin away. So she complains about the Shakespearety clothes she gets, big deal.

SheCabbage 5,200 13
12/26/2001 03:31 PM

Oh, for Frost's sake.



Everyone, stop doing things contrary to Superkitten's perference. So he compalins about people complaining and gets all bent out of shape, big deal.



(reminds me of people who respond to All Users emails with "Stop responding to the all user email!")

156,785 17
12/26/2001 03:38 PM

Brooke i.e. Kenshin i.e Moon i.e. Whoever.....





Shut your whiney cake hole before someone strangles you with a pom pom and stuffs the other one into your worthless ass!!!

Declan McManus 131,867 36
12/26/2001 03:51 PM

My word, Brooke.



Both of your parents could be dead,



your only sib could be hundreds of miles away.



you could be in real financial difficulty,



you could have thousands in un covered medical bills,



I could increase the list.



I am sincerely sorry you had a not great day, but merciful Frost-ing heavens I would do anything to have my mother alive and well.

LeVertGecko 0 0
12/26/2001 03:51 PM

The key to getting what you want is being very explicit. Devise a list of 10 items you really want. include the store/website you found it, size and any model number to make it dirt simple.



step two tell your mom that if she isn't sure if you will like it, don't buy it. Also tell her that anything you don't like you will return or throw out.



I have after 15 years finally trained my mother. Its not a huge haul but its a small load of stuff I really wanted.



The rest of my family I have convinced I don't celebrate christmas because of new "religious" beliefs so they don't get me anything.



This has led to a more enjoyable holiday season since I don't have grin like an idiot and say "oooooooh its wonderful".

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 03:58 PM

Declain.. that is a stupid argument.



"things could be worse, so you shouldn't compain"



what's the response? "you're right, everything is peachy, so I shouldn't complain." you can always say it could be worse, until you die, in which case you stop complaining.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
12/26/2001 04:03 PM

Shoelace414



Maybe I misstated my case.



My goal was not just to say that "things could be worse"



Things can always be worse.



This could have been the worst, Shakespeare-tiest, nastiest Christmas I ever had, but it wasn't.



With an attitiude of no expectations, I had a good day.

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 04:11 PM

ok.. I'll buy that Declain..



oh.. and this christmas list crap. I tried to make up an xmas list.. then I decided.. why don't I just buy the stuff myself? I refuse to give out xmas lists.. and I also refuse to buy from an xmaslist. I try to decide what people would want or use but they don't know they want. it's much more fun that way.

froglord 9,243 13
12/26/2001 04:17 PM

I've found that giving sex toys to everyone keeps family gatherings quite lively.

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/26/2001 04:19 PM

"Oh dearie, thank you for the nice egg scrambler. It looks like the one that your grandfather gave me after he got his nuts blown off on Iwo Jima."

EvilPanda 4,807 13
12/26/2001 04:21 PM

Part of the fun at Christmas, at least for me, is finding the perfect, unexpected gift for someone. i never make lists. I like to be surprised, just like I like to surprise people with what i give them.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
12/26/2001 04:22 PM

That must have been one talented hooker.

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/26/2001 04:23 PM

VD?

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/26/2001 04:25 PM

Yeah, grandpa volunteered to stay as a one man occupation force -- but the he had to get home to harvest the lichen crop.

onion 12,319 12
12/26/2001 04:39 PM

gee.



my worst christmas was when i was 16 and my dad had left my mom for the woman he had been having an affair with for six years and my mom spent the entire holiday drunk/nowhere to be found and there WAS no christmas.



that sure was a barrel of Frost-ing monkeys.



be glad you HAVE a family. jesus. 11 years later and my family consists of me and my mother. give me a damned break, kid.

Nut(Jim)butter 181,255 35
12/26/2001 04:45 PM

hehe. Monkey.

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/26/2001 04:51 PM

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/26/2001 05:16 PM

It's nice that they were able to find some common ground in their marriage.

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 05:18 PM

after xmas last year my Grandmother died, my father died and my cousin committed suicide before the end of January. This christmas wasn't a pity fest, it was a xmas at my mom's new apt.

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 05:19 PM

oh.. and Evilpanda.. we agree totally.



(on the christmas part.. not the mansteak part)

froglord 9,243 13
12/26/2001 05:26 PM

<tasteless>

Shoelace's family celebrated having to buy fewer gifts this year.

</tasteless>

froglord 9,243 13
12/26/2001 05:26 PM

Sorry, shoelace.

Trae (please return me to my upright position) 156,785 17
12/26/2001 05:28 PM

Brrrooooke? Oh Brooooke.. where are you?



I hope you have finally put your experiences this Xmas in persepective.

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 05:46 PM

my dad was always the hardest to shop for.

LeVertGecko 0 0
12/26/2001 05:56 PM

"I try to decide what people would want or use but they don't know they want. it's much more fun that way."



Ah excellent, I have a box of these gifts. Knick Knacks, gag gifts and other stuff I was going to "really like". They sit in the box till I get up the energy to throw them out or sell them on ebay.



I love christmas!

EvilPanda 4,807 13
12/26/2001 05:58 PM

Just be happy you get anything, Ungrateful Gecko.

LeVertGecko 0 0
12/26/2001 06:07 PM

I have often urged my relatives not to buy me gifts. As someone who is decidedly non-christian I don't feel right celebrating the holiday. Its a scam. It would be like Squeamish celebrating Ramadan.

Unfortunately North American follows the beat of the Judaeo-Christian drum. all our "stat" holidays are based on a religion I dislike and do not actively practice.

onion 12,319 12
12/26/2001 06:09 PM

oh man.



who wants to post a link to that thread from a couple weeks ago wherein someone gave us all a good learnin' about how christmas is actually a PAGAN holiday and bears no roots in christianity whatsoever?

LeVertGecko 0 0
12/26/2001 06:19 PM

yes yes the vatican pushed back the celebration of christmas to fall on the same day as a Roman pagan holiday. thus they could start saying the pagans were celebrating their holiday, traditions mix together etc etc.



If I celebrated Greek Orthodox Christmas in January, it would still make me feel uneasy.



the time of year doesn't matter, the spirit of the holiday is what bothers me.

onion 12,319 12
12/26/2001 06:24 PM

it's the tinsel in the dog poop.



admit it.

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/26/2001 06:26 PM

I hate holidays where families get togther and attempt to give each other presents and socalize about what happened in the last year.

EvilPanda 4,807 13
12/26/2001 06:27 PM

Ever since that Christmas tree fell on little baby Gecko, he just hasn't been the same.

LeVertGecko 0 0
12/26/2001 06:37 PM

You don't pretend to be straight and I don't pretend to be christian.



end of story.

131,867 36
12/26/2001 06:40 PM

Oooh Gecko's being a

HardGecko

Squeamish 38,986 14
12/26/2001 06:46 PM

I think the last time Christmas had anything to do with religion was in the late 1940s.

Brooke 0 0
12/26/2001 07:17 PM

Okay, maybe I am just a spoiled little brat who needs a good spanking. But I think it's pretty obvious that none of you remember what it was like to be in high school. If you don't have the right clothing, you are lower than low-- you may as well be wearing Wal-Mart Athletic Gear if your outfit doesn't cost over seventy dollars. I've dragged myself up from freak status to one where I actually have friends, and I'm not about to lose this hard earned social position because my mother didn't feel like walking all the way to AE.

Oh, and a little sidenote. She was so angry with me for not appreciating her gifts (which, by the way, didn't fit anyway), that she's refunding them all, keeping the money for herself, and cancelling my driver's test. knowing her, though, she'll have taken it back tomorrow, but I can still use this against her in the future.

Maybe I should be more grateful, but I've been through a lot in my life, and I think I have the right to complain. Thanks for letting me vent.

Marilyn 12,471 13
12/26/2001 07:22 PM

Are you for real?

17,826 13
12/26/2001 07:59 PM

Maybe you should join the military when you're 18.



You can spend Christmas in the desert with no family and then everything will make sense.









I didn't get everything I wanted.well, OK, I DID, but I only wanted one or two things. I gave much more than I got and I felt good for it. That's what being an adult is. Being whiny and spoiled works now, but when you're 26 and pull that, people will tell you to either suck their dicks or get the Frost out, they don;t need drama queens.

onion 12,319 12
12/26/2001 08:02 PM

yes, actually. i do remember what it was like to be in high school. it was a certified pain in the ass. but after a while i decided that the folks who felt clothes were a sign of one's worth were idiots and wore what i wanted.



and y'know, most of those punks still live in my hometown, staffing the local minimarts and texacos.



you have NOTHING, and i mean NO THING to complain about. you're being a little snot to your mother. i wish she'd make you work at a soup kitchen in addition to taking all that stuff away from you. maybe that'd teach you something about HAVING NOTHING.

Chouggy 5,183 13
12/26/2001 08:06 PM

> maybe I am just a spoiled little brat who needs a good spanking



I just could get past this line.



I got yer spank right here, baby!

Brooke 0 0
12/26/2001 08:26 PM

Onion, you were one of those free-thinking freaks in high school? Well, where I go, your kind are persecuted, friendless, except for each other, and constantly abused, both physically and mentally. Maybe you're just a stronger/better person than I am, cos I couldn't stand the friendless existence. I went through it from third to seventh grade, and it wasn't pleasant. I couldn't go through it again. So I'm superficial and shallow when it comes to appearances. Big deal. I'm deep in other respects, which probably counts for something.

Marilyn 12,471 13
12/26/2001 08:28 PM

Prototypical.

Candie Kohrne's Big Ego 8,640 15
12/26/2001 08:32 PM

Brooke: pay attention.



When you go to your ten-year reunion, take a look. All those people that judged you for how you dressed will be leading dreary, unstimulating lives.



And shame on you for letting on to your poor mother how much you hated your gift.

onion 12,319 12
12/26/2001 08:55 PM

yup, i was a free-thinkin' band geek. senior year i had no friends. i hated high school and was more than happy to graduate and scuttle off to college where stuff made sense.



high school is not life. it is a warped little universe that you're letting yourself get sucked into. cliche as it sounds, i'm tempted to feel sorry for you.



only i don't because you're such an unrelenting, self-righteous and wholly TYPICAL teenage Shakespeare.

Chouggy 5,183 13
12/26/2001 09:17 PM

Translation: onion was a nerd

Brooke 0 0
12/26/2001 09:17 PM

I will look at these people in ten years, and laugh at their fatness and poorness. However, until that blessed day, I will simply allow myself to be ruled by them. I can't rock the boat. As Homer Simpson said, I'm not popular enough to be different.

Onion, don't hate me because I'm the person you wanted to be! Geez, I may almost be a typical teenaged girl, but that's what you've gotta be to survive. It's either that or become a bitter old woman like you.

Candie Kohrne's Big Ego 8,640 15
12/26/2001 09:20 PM

I will simply allow myself to be ruled by them. I can't rock the boat



Then, you will become them.

Brooke 0 0
12/26/2001 10:15 PM

But I'm not. I wear the clothes, but the attitude, the personality, even the Frost-ing taste in music, everything else is mine.

a well-cut seersucker aushie 5,580 13
12/26/2001 10:22 PM

I think you guys are being a bit hard on Brooke. Just because some people's Christmases really, really, really, really, Frost-ing suck the big one doesn't mean that Brooke's, in her own special way, didn't suck a little bit too.



She has every right to complain about it. And as regards the clothes, she's only saying that she got Shakespearety tasteless clothes that she didn't ask for instead of the reasonably nice clothes that she did ask for, which her sister got instead.



Yeah! That sucks!!

a well-cut seersucker aushie 5,580 13
12/26/2001 10:25 PM

My Christmas sucked a little bit too. 1/3 of my family thinks it's better than my 1/3, and the other 1/3 thinks my 1/3 is going to Hell. So we were pretty much ignored or patronized the whole day, with the family separated into thirds throughout the house, each third leaving the room if another third came in.

Brooke 0 0
12/26/2001 10:29 PM

Thanks for sticking up for me Aushie. It was the nose thing that compelled you to do so, right?

Dead (Xmas Pudding) Robot 67,630 16
12/26/2001 10:30 PM

I always wondered what a babbling brooke was ...

Miss Potty Mouth 10,666 13
12/26/2001 10:43 PM

I've got a tomato seed stuck in my tooth.

Miss Potty Mouth 10,666 13
12/26/2001 10:43 PM

Anyone else care for a banana (granana) pudding cup?

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 12:14 AM

>>>. But I think it's pretty obvious that none of you remember what it was like to be in high school. If you don't have the right clothing, you are lower than low-- you may as well be wearing Wal-Mart Athletic Gear if your outfit doesn't cost over seventy dollars. I've dragged myself up from freak status to one where I actually have friends, and I'm not about to lose this hard earned social position because my mother didn't feel like walking all the way to AE.



i graduated in 96, not so long ago. i can assure you that i did not wear expensive clothes, and as a matter of fact STILL wear clothes from wal-mart. i had lots of friends then and now. nice friends you have if you can't hang out with them if you don't shop at the cool store. actually, it's YOU that thinks people are not cool if they don't wear the cool clothes, because if you take a look around, i'm sure that you can find lots of people that don't dress like a Gap ad.



ohhhhh, you got $500 in clothes you don't like. are you kidding me? $500 Frost-ing dollars in presents and you are not happy?



ever hear it's the thought that counts? this christmas i was much more excited to see the people i love open the presents i got them than i was to open my own.



one more thing.....get a damn job, make your own money and buy your own damn clothes.

</end rant>

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 12:23 AM

Yes, it's the thought that counts, but if my mother had actually thought, she would have remembered that I'm in high school, and that I hate Rue 21! And hey, fine, you and your friends shopped at Wal-Mart together. Fine. My friends and I are clean, though, so we shop at clean stores.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 12:38 AM

at least i *had* friends.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 12:41 AM

Good comeback, ace! I have friends, too. Golly!

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 12:45 AM

>>My friends and I are clean, though, so we shop at clean stores.



i'm sorry, i should follow your example of the stinging retort, o queen of wit.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 12:56 AM

I wasn't being witty, I was stating the truth. I'm clean, ergo I shop at AE. You're dirty, so you are limited (maybe that's not the best word to use) to Ames. Bargains by the bagful!

Zappa Krappa 1,896 12
12/27/2001 01:02 AM

MEEEYOWWW!

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 01:06 AM

oh, i'm sorry, i didn't know we were playing the cool internet game of "pretend i can see you and know what you are really like". how clever of you to pick up that i am dirty just by words on the screen!

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 01:10 AM

Hey, if you're proud of being a Wal-Mart shopper, you're dirty. Also, the picture of you with your ass showing-- very sophisticated. How old are you, 12?

Zappa Krappa 1,896 12
12/27/2001 01:10 AM

i need a dirty woman

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 01:13 AM

Ah, Young Lust.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 01:13 AM

no, that would be child pornography. anyway, i never said i was proud to shop at walmart, but i'm certainly not ashamed.



and the fact that you are questioning my maturity really makes me laugh, brooke.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 01:14 AM

Speaking of children, is that your kid? Taylor? What a trailer-trashy, soap opera name. Fitting, I guess.

postbear 10,158 13
12/27/2001 01:17 AM

grrrrrrrrrrrrr!



sorry to hear you had such a Shakespearety xmas, brooke. maybe you should, as has been mentioned here, put things in perspective.



xmas eve i worked. xmas day i worked. today i worked. on xmas day i also got to transit to and from the hospital to see my father, before i went to work, to learn that the tumour surgery he had a couple of months ago was unsuccessful, and he will need another series of operations soon. to cheer him up i had to go find the hospital chaplain and tell him my father wanted to discuss converting -- i got to witness my father throw a magazine at him and call him an Emerson.



i then went to work and took an hour off so i could take a cab to one of the local shelters (which a former co-worker of mine helps run) because some idiots on the board of directors forgot to provide extra coffee on xmas. they also didn't think to get dessert or much other than potatoes, turkey-loaf-thing, frozen vegetables and stale bread. the morons forgot to get gravy, for crying out loud! several hundred people were there, waiting for a hot meal, and the only open grocery store wouldn't take the credit card my friend had available to use because it was maxed out. i had to pay cash to get the food, with no guarantee of ever seeing my money returned (some of it was, today), so that some people could get a decent hot meal and no bloody gift at all.



want people to be good to you? be good to others. this weekend we're building a warm house for the neighbourhood stray cats that roam the husband's parents' back yard and hauling (finally) some clothes and other goods off to a local community centre and a women's shelter.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 01:21 AM

yeah, i'm sure with taylor being one of the top 10 baby names in the country, so many people agree with you.



oh wait. now we're playing "i'm stupid and immature. i've run out of arguments so i'm going to insult your family, who has nothing to do with this message board" my bad, brooke! i'll try to keep up.



your momma is a whore!

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 01:22 AM

I'm so sorry to hear that, postie. I know my Christmas was actually pretty good compared to others'. I'm just a whiny little spoiled bitch who should probably be thankful for what I have, right?

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 01:27 AM

Look, Amy, that's just my personal opinion. If you would like to keep it between you and I, that's fine. I'm not saying I had the worst Christmas in the history of the world, but I am saying that it was a bad one for me. As for you, you're happy getting your Ames bargain bin oversized Tweety-Bird t-shirts with "I've got an attitude" emblazoned upon them. I, on the other hand, prefer a less "out there" sort of style. That's just you and me. To each his own, no?

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 01:31 AM

actually sweetness, i 90% of my clothes are from old navy. my point is some friends you have if your popularity depends on where you shop.



also sugarlips, i am an adult, with JOB, so i actually go out and buy my own clothes if i don't like what i get for a present.



so to recap: i am a mature down to earth adult



you are a snobby whiny kid.



yes, to each her own.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 01:33 AM

oh yeah, and you're fat.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 01:40 AM

Um, Amy dear, I'm afraid to break this to you, but Old Navy's a pretty trashy store. If it supplies up to a size 20, it's not clean. Stop being proud of yourself.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 01:50 AM

ok, my stupidity detector has just broken.

a well-cut seersucker aushie 5,580 13
12/27/2001 01:53 AM

Careful, girls, before you say something you really mean. Or something you really don't mean. Or . . . something.



Ahh, Frost it. Carry on.

postbear 10,158 13
12/27/2001 01:57 AM

actually, your thread title does indicate that this was the worst xmas ever.



yes, i do think you are unappreciative.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 02:03 AM

Sorry postie, next time I'll be more specific.

Amy? You there? Say something I can actually counter. I'm almost having fun.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 02:06 AM

so far you haven't countered anything, lame-o.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 02:20 AM

Oh my sweet lord, you called me a lame-o? That was the last straw, Amy Bounce. Do you see this? This is a real tear.

Chairman Stuby, GAB 40oz Club 17,826 13
12/27/2001 02:44 AM

Oh boy.





You people are fan-Frost-ing-tastically mature. Ripping on a 16-year-old child...You might be adults, with all the experience that makes you better than her, but you show none of the adult attitude that goes along with it. Instead of explaining things to her, you talk about how much more badass you are. You fail to realize that not everyone lives their lives exactly like you do and not everyone had the same experiences as you did in high school.



I'm Frost-ing impressed. You gonna go down to the daycare with your friends and pick on the babies because you don't Shakespeare in diapers? You gonna go make fun of some toddlers because you can walk and run without falling down? You gonna go to the elementary school and talk Shakespeare to the kids that can't do algebra, yet?



You people suck even worse than I do, at least I pick on people that can defend themselves.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 02:49 AM

Stoob, you truly are a king of kings.

Ha, take that Amy! Pick on someone yer own size!

Chairman Stuby, GAB 40oz Club 17,826 13
12/27/2001 02:50 AM

Not now, Cap'n Stuby is yelling at the old people.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 02:50 AM

i haven't seen any babies being proud of Shakespeare-ing their pants, unlike the obvious joy brooke takes in her naivete.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 03:05 AM

I'm grateful I'm naive because I'm young, and not a bitter old woman like some people on this board.

Chairman Stuby, GAB 40oz Club 17,826 13
12/27/2001 03:19 AM

What's wrong with being happy about what you know?



Maybe in a year or so she'll be as bitter and as sour as the rest of us and look back on this with great shame, but right now, your mewling and puking serves no purpose but to make you look stupid for picking on a child.

Chairman Stuby, GAB 40oz Club 17,826 13
12/27/2001 03:23 AM

And hey, most of us here like to look stupid, so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!





*ccck* Shakespearehead to Base, Shakespearehead to Base...mission accomplised. We've made a child feel inferior for something she hasn't learned yet..requesting next objective...*ccck*



*ccck* Base to Shakespearehead...your next mission is to push over some old people and throw baseballs at small children who can't run away fast enough... *ccck*

Superkitten 3,425 0
12/27/2001 03:25 AM

Beautiful, Stub. You can have back those 10 stubypoints you gave me for the only funny comment I ever made.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 03:39 AM

your mewling and puking serves no purpose but to make you look stupid for picking on a child.





ah yes, sort of like when brooke brought up my daughter.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 03:42 AM

Stubykins, did I ever tell you I love you? Smooches.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 03:45 AM

I brought up your kid's name. That was it. She's actually adorable. She probably got that from her father.

Sorry, that was a bit obvious. I'll actually try next time.

onion 12,319 12
12/27/2001 03:57 AM

brooke, if i had wanted to be a kid like you i doubt i would be where i am today.



i'd probably be saving you a seat in the breakroom of the safeway you'll be working in as soon as you graduate and realize you wasted your time 1. worrying about your clothes and image and 2. posting on gab/wherever else online you chose to inflict your festering boil of a personality during high school and therefore have none of the credentials to go to a good college or get a decent job.



and yup, i was a nerd. and i probably make more in my mid-20s than you ever will, kid.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 04:05 AM

i've said it before and i'll say it again....i loves me some onion!





can i ride in your jetta?

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 04:15 AM

God Onion.

I'm in every AP class I can get into. Next year, I'll do the same. I get A's and a few B+s. My lowest grade in high school has been a B. My cumulative GPA is 3.7977. I load up on extracurriculars, and have been told I display above-average talent in overall academics, playing the flute, acting, and writing. And let's not forget my PSAT scores. Above all this, I'm the youngest person in my grade. And, yes, I wear expensive clothing. Maybe it makes me feel better about myself, or maybe I just need to feel accepted. Either way, it seems to work for me.

onion 12,319 12
12/27/2001 04:20 AM

if by "works for me" you mean makes you come off as a spoiled, self-centered, overly-indulged, middle-class waste of air, then yes. you're right, it most certainly does.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 04:22 AM

onion! c'mon. let me in the jetta. we can go to walmart.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 04:23 AM

Geez Onion, you totally misinterpreted that. I meant nothing of the sort.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 04:23 AM

i'll buy you a tweety shirt!

onion 12,319 12
12/27/2001 04:25 AM

bouncetastic! lezgo! i'll go warm up the jetta!



can we look at the power tools? my cats need their grout grinded.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 04:30 AM

fabaroo! remind me to get a "little something" for bonky too.

onion 12,319 12
12/27/2001 04:33 AM

oh heck yeah.



she mentioned the other night that she's running low on yurt-building materials. we oughta stop in the yurt aisle and have a look-see.





heh, YURT.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 04:35 AM

lezgo, indeed.









munch munch!

Bonky 75,728 15
12/27/2001 09:37 AM

Good lord! We've met the sixteen year old Melanie Haber.



(psst, hey, sunshine, you wear "expensive clothes?" Uh,....didn't you say you wanted something from The Gap and/or American Eagle? In your next AP (Askewed Perspective) class, look up the word 'hypocrite.')



Thanks, that's all.





I need some plain yogurt for my yurt! It keeps the bugs on the outside!

shoelace414 10,080 13
12/27/2001 09:57 AM

dammit bonky, I read every post thinking how to compare her to Melanie.



I've dragged myself up from freak status to one where I actually have friends



I was a freak, and I had freak friends

Melanie Haber, Conspiracy Theorist 78,550 13
12/27/2001 10:07 AM

How is she like me at 16? I spent every year of my late teens either in a club or drunk and passed out on someone's couch.

Dead (Your Bum=Altamira) Robot 67,630 16
12/27/2001 10:15 AM

All I have to add to this thread is this:



If that's your worst Xmas, Brooke, you're in for worse.

EvilPanda 4,807 13
12/27/2001 10:16 AM

This thread is bizarre. Are teenaged girls actually really like this?

Nut(Jim)butter 181,255 35
12/27/2001 10:26 AM

Oh man, this is too funny. It's like I'm a high school nerd all over again getting picked on by the Cool Kids only this time I know how it's going to end.



Brooke, honey, start an account now and dont tell your hubby about it. You'll need a nest egg for after the divorce.



Also, no matter how tempting it looks, rubbing alcohol is not safe to drink, nor is it an effective way to end your miserable life. You'll most likely wake up in the hospital with a tube down your throat, surrounded by family members who have better things to do but haul Aunt Brooke off to rehab... again.

Chairman Stuby, GAB 40oz Club 17,826 13
12/27/2001 11:20 AM

You can't snort Aqua Net and you'll never be able to one-up the magical Onion and Her Mystical Circus of Self-Aggrandizement!



COME ONE, COME ALL!

See Onion, the bearded clam hunter of Borneo, along with her ragtag platoon of ne'er-do-wells and sycophantic misfits! Watch as they say how cool they are, be amazed at how boastful they can be! You'll come for the frizzy hair, but you'll vomit at the size of the World's Largest Ego! ADMISSION=2Bits



Cap'n Stuby's Fat-Headed Man Show 5 cents extra.

onion 12,319 12
12/27/2001 12:28 PM

my work here is done.



*flies off, Cape of Eternal BitchSmacking fluttering behind her*

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/27/2001 01:04 PM

Folks, Brooke just wants to have some fun experimenting with the "Shakespeare on the world" GAB style.



I don't like the result, but I applaud the effort. The fact that she got under some folks skin displays some measure of success.



Did anyone else think that it was odd to see Agent Smith playing Elrond?

Trae (please return me to my upright position) 156,785 17
12/27/2001 01:09 PM

Can I also remind everyone, who else is a person who sent in a child picture of themselves? Hmmmmmm? Coincidence? I for one,don't believe her little 16 yr old crybaby schtick.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/27/2001 03:39 PM

i loves me some she cabbage, too. want a tweety shirt, too?

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 05:04 PM

God, I'll buy you ALL Tweety shirts if you'll just stop berating me. I have feelings, too, and not just aggravation, though that's the main one right now.

Nut(Jim)butter 181,255 35
12/27/2001 05:07 PM

I think I know what this thread needs. A good old fasioned teasing.



Ready? Here goes:



HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! BROOKE HAD A ShakespeareTY HOLIDAY!!!! Nobody in her family gives a Shakespeare about her so she got crappy presents! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Your life sucks and nobody loves you!!!!!



There. Much better.

Dead (Your Bum=Altamira) Robot 67,630 16
12/27/2001 05:08 PM

Can you buy me one of these?

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 05:16 PM

Ooh! My turn, my turn!



Nutbutter's old! Ha ha! He'll never be young again! When he smiles at pretty girls on the street, they laugh at him! What an old pathetic loser!



That actually felt pretty bad.

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/27/2001 05:57 PM

That's why old guys like us have babies (not literally, of course). It's the only way that we can get hot chicks to talk to us.

Brooke 0 0
12/27/2001 06:02 PM

Why? Babies are just baggage!

1bigdork 7,825 12
12/27/2001 06:09 PM

It's the only way that we can get hot chicks to talk to us.

Candie Kohrne the Ironical 8,640 15
12/27/2001 06:25 PM

Why Brooke had THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER.

Sperel the goose 2,909 11
12/27/2001 07:26 PM

When I was younger I'd go to school and I'd be like, "Yo bitches, I'm Sperel, how are you?" Then they'd be like, "Damn, dude, school is cool."

So I had some fashion clothes or something like that and I'd be flying all around and making poops.

Sneeze-us Christ! 1,094 12
12/27/2001 08:07 PM

Sperel needs his own icon because s/he/it is the funniest thing on this whole damn board.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/28/2001 12:04 AM

hey brooke, maybe if you made some poops people would like you.

17,826 13
12/28/2001 12:25 AM

hey brooke, maybe if you made some poops people would like you.





Hey Amy, maybe if you made some bastard children, people would like you, too. oh, wait.





Nevermind, we've proven that one wrong.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/28/2001 12:49 AM

i don't know, sweetie. the minute i have a bastard child, i'll let you know how it goes.

amy bounce and her love of angelina 2,710 12
12/28/2001 12:50 AM

also, you are a Poe for hiding under a fake name.

Sperel the goose 2,909 11
12/28/2001 01:01 AM

If I have any children, they're all goddamn bastards. Every time I have sex with a goose, I'm like, "I am going to fly somewhere else now." And then she'll be like, "Yea, I'm gonna stay here and have babies. Enjoy your flying."

So then I'll be flying to France or some Shakespeare like that and I like it there.

AmyPoo and her black waterbra 2,710 12
11/25/2002 06:09 AM

well it's that time of year again. time to spread some holiday cheer!

Spoolie 2,859 12
11/25/2002 06:12 AM

I think I'll have to add a nice, long apology post to the end of this thread when I have more time.

serpantor 0 10
11/25/2002 06:23 AM

i know about the place you call rue 21 my sis in law worked there there clothes all have something wrong woth them i got a pair a pants from there and two days later the seam came undone

c'est troy bien 4,643 11
11/25/2002 08:32 AM

and then i realised that someone had stolen all of the punctuation keys off my keyboard andaghohnonowthespacebartoowhatamigoingtodooooo

The lovely Daggy! 86,684 14
11/25/2002 08:37 AM

God Brooke!



Try not to be so whiny this year!











When I was 13 yrs old, my dad died on xmas eve morning.





Suckiest christmas EVER!

Never mind not getting the Frost-ing pom poms!

Spoolie 2,859 12
11/26/2002 05:53 PM

I know few people are going to want to go through this massive thing again simply for an apology, but I wouldn't feel right just leaving it like this.



Amy, I'm really sorry. I was just a young stupid noob, but still, that's no excuse. I shouldn't have insulted your daughter or you.

Onion, same. I can't believe how juvenille I was. Thankfully, my idea of the ultimate insult back then was "You're UGLY!" so your feelings couldn't have been THAT hurt. Still, I'm sorry for being such a bitch.



Everybody else, I can say now that you're absolutely right. I was being a spoiled brat, completely undeserving of any of the stuff I got-- hell, even of the consideration of my family. I can't even believe I'm the same person who created this thread. God, what does it matter if I don't get a friggin' shirt for Christmas? What mattered was that I was surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. So, thanks to the people who stuck up for me, but I was completely wrong. Even my age wasn't an excuse. I've always prided myself on my maturity, but I was acting like a kid.



I can guarantee you this-- I definitely have changed. You have no idea how ashamed I am of my atrocious behavior. Let my mother buy me hideous clothing-- better yet, let her get me nothing at all. If no one gets me anything, I won't care. Corny as it sounds, as long as I know my family's happy and safe, and that they love me, what else is there to ask for? God, if I want a Frost-ing shirt that badly, I'll just go get it myself.

Stinky 7,952 12
11/26/2002 06:06 PM

Calling somebody "ugly" isn't really an insult if they are actually ugly.

AmyPoo and her black waterbra 2,710 12
11/26/2002 06:47 PM

i have a lot more respect for you now, brooke.



</serious>



now it's at about .04, but still!



</ass>

Neepneep 35,066 15
11/26/2002 07:12 PM

Well, she certainly got the attention she wanted in the first place.

Stinky 7,952 12
11/26/2002 08:15 PM

Brooke, there was nothing wrong with what you did. If your family and friends don't put true effort in purchasing gifts that they definately believe you will enjoy, then neither the "thought" nor the "gift" counts.



However, instead of being crabby, you should of pretended you liked the gifts. Then, when next Christmas comes, buy them the Frost-ing Shakespeareties gifts ever...gifts the homeless would get angry at you for giving them. They'll get the hint for future reference.

SalsaShark, PFEA 6,518 11
12/27/2002 03:28 PM

Now Marilyn, play nicely.

Conrad Conk 19,242 12
12/28/2002 04:31 AM

Surprisingly, I agree with Stinky.



Get people stuff they would want. But not stuff they want too badly, because they'll probably go out and buy it themselves.



Frost it, just send cash.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
12/28/2002 11:33 AM

stop whining. Christmas morning my g/f broke up with me (true). Then my little brother caught on fire and got 3rd degree burns on 75% of his body. We had to drive him to the hospital since all our money we lost when enron caved in. On the way, we got into a car wreck. My fatcher went through the windshield, and I'm now a quadripeligic for the rest of my life. You know how hard it is to type with your tongue? Oh, and my mom found out she had cancer. That was right after she accidentaly microwaved our cute little puppy.

Merry Goddamned christmas.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
12/28/2002 07:39 PM

Brooke:

Chances are in 5-10 years you won't remember half of the peoples names with whom you attended high school muchless the clothes they wore.

Chacken: defender of the one true faith 286,208 61
12/29/2002 04:07 AM

I'm glad you can look back and realize how much you have grown this year. Wish I could do the same.



**weeps

Paladin Yann 24 9
04/27/2004 02:10 PM

I'm From indiana where nobody gives a flying Frost where you shop. Or what clothes you buy. As long as you and your clothes are clean, we don;t Frost-ing care. Also, if your a hot chick, it don't matter WHAT your wearing, we just want to stare at your ass.



So anybody who judges you by your clothes is dumber than jessica simpson. So I guess this gives Brooke the I.Q. of a turnip.



Also, you callin' Wal-Mart trashy?

I don't think that a store that can bring in over a billion dollars a day is trashy.



As for old navy, I hate their ads, but their clothes aren't too bad.



So Brooke, you are a spoiled little bitch. I have never gotten over 300$ in gifts & money from my ENTIRE faminly. My parents usually spend 150-200 on me. Also, My parents have never had much money, And I am probably happier than you will ever be, Brooke. I also have a crapload of great friends that Brooke would consider unclassy, WELL Frost YOU BROOKE!!!!

Spicey loves TTJ - American Style 117,695 36
04/27/2004 02:14 PM

Brooke doesn't live here any more.

ringworm 68,315 13
04/27/2004 02:44 PM

I don't think that a store that can bring in over a billion dollars a day is trashy.



you'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.

JAndra 171 9
04/27/2004 02:52 PM

I'm from Indiana and I got beat up every day cause I couldn't afford brand name shoes. My mom once wrote Nike on the side with a marker.

ringworm 68,315 13
04/27/2004 03:02 PM

wow, lots of indians posting today.

286,208 61
04/27/2004 03:13 PM

"So Brooke, you are a spoiled little bitch."

You've met her obviously.

ringworm 68,315 13
04/27/2004 03:29 PM

i think she's actually a sasquatch. a Frost-ing sasquatch.

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
04/27/2004 03:31 PM

<action>looks about suspiciously</action>Why did she leave? I didn't think you guys let any of the ZUG women get away...unless it was the gays...

Chit4Brainz 178,732 15
04/27/2004 03:38 PM

Does Indiana even have flying Frosts ?









You can appreciate this though I bet.....





What do you call a horses ass in a red sweater ??







Bobby Knight

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/27/2004 04:12 PM

Wow Paladin your powers of association are astounding. By your logic, McDonald's (with billions and billions served) should qualify as gourmet dining. I would hate to see what type of girl you consider classy and disease-free.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/27/2004 04:31 PM

Palidan does not speak for those of us in Indiana who actually have taste, class, and the ability to not dredge up two year old Frost-ing threads and bitch about people who don't post here anymore.



Palidan sounds like he lied when he checked the box during sign up.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/27/2004 04:33 PM

The "Are You Gay" box on an Army application?

Chance 171,270 14
04/27/2004 04:42 PM

Yes the shirt may have cost 40 dollars, but think of what she saved not wearing pants!

Chit4Brainz 178,732 15
04/27/2004 05:05 PM

looks like even in that picture, the girl that went by the name "Brooke" here, had to share ownership of that sweatshirt with her brother William

Leppy 12,056 12
12/15/2004 01:19 AM

I love this thread. I have to come back and read it every year, and it just keeps getting better.



Yann, note that this occured 3 years ago, and two years ago she had already totally changed her ways and apologised.

Potrzebie 1,790 9
02/24/2005 03:33 PM

This has got to be the Best Thread Ever! It has everything: humor, flaming, catfights, nudity, drama.... and it is still alive three years later! Hence Brooke can finally click the "I am over 18 years of age" button for valid registration. Yay!

Delicious Lesbian Sea Turtle 156,785 17
02/24/2005 03:36 PM

Ok, spill it.



Which one are you?

the Producer formerly known as Porn 7,627 9
02/24/2005 05:14 PM

<action> in Borat voice </action>



It wasn't me.



</Ali G>

Potrzebie 1,790 9
02/24/2005 06:38 PM

I are the one who waited three years before I summoned up enough courage to post here.

Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
02/24/2005 06:45 PM

I are the one who waited three years before I summoned up enough courage to post here.



Poe.

SpecialKake 55,555 14
02/24/2005 06:45 PM

Wow, I was even less funny then.

Dweezil Meniketti 77,546 17
02/24/2005 07:33 PM

I wouldn't say that.

Out Of The Silent Snork 45,655 12
02/24/2005 07:37 PM

These threads confuse me. It took me a long time to realize why the second post wasn't a STFU, noob.

Blue-Footed Boobie: Boob Moosary 21,744 10
02/24/2005 07:51 PM

Brooke was pretty cute. Wonder what corner she works she is doing now?