onion 12,319 11
01/17/2002 11:36 PM

marry me.



take me away from this world o' stupid Carrolls.

Crescent Fresh 10,666 12
01/17/2002 11:38 PM

Was there a baby in the seat? The only thing I worry about is scarring the poor kid with the language ..

LeVertGecko 0 0
01/17/2002 11:38 PM

a queer and a lesbian getting married? highly unorthodox.

Trae (please return me to my upright position) 156,771 17
01/17/2002 11:39 PM

Truth is, we women use that word when we are referring to other women who we really despise.





At least I do. We all hate it but it's worse when it comes from a woman.

onion 12,319 11
01/17/2002 11:41 PM

we all hate it?



i don't hate it. i think it's amusing. i save it for special occasions, like baptisms.



"yeah, dip that Carroll in the water! bring on the holy spirit's annointing! holy Frost-ing Carroll-lickers!"

Trae (please return me to my upright position) 156,771 17
01/17/2002 11:44 PM

Ok, a generalization. Most of us hate it unless it's used during religious celebrations at at funerals:



"Bury the Frost-ing Carroll!"





THEN it's funny as hell!!

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
01/17/2002 11:46 PM

Vlad think it funny that gay person pick on girl. Vlad makes BIG laughs!!!





Bwahahahahahahah!!!

Fronzel Neekburm 15,959 12
01/17/2002 11:48 PM

And I was always told Canadians are nice and friendly and more polite than us barbaric Americans.

Mike Moon, Major Fucktard 4,366 13
01/17/2002 11:52 PM

Holli calls me a Carroll...then hits me with the phonebook.

Sperel the goose 2,909 11
01/17/2002 11:53 PM

One time I was in the road and this guy in a car was like, "Get out of the street, you stupid Carroll." So I was like, "What's a Carroll?" So the guy was like, "That's what you are." So I was like, "I am a goose."

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 14
01/17/2002 11:54 PM

Wow Postbear, there aren't many things that you say that makes me laugh, but that was just great.





I wonder if the little kid got around to saying Carroll yet?

Microcube 13,428 12
01/18/2002 12:04 AM

I've been hit by bycyclists too. its happened two or three times.



it always goes like this



*bike crashes into me, I studder backwards, rider falls off of bike.*



I kick the rider in the stomach and tell him to watch where he's going.

postbear 10,153 12
01/18/2002 12:07 AM

CF, there was no child in the seat.



had there been, i would have read her the riot act for that as well.



thanks to the gab women who have excused my use of a most vile word.

Declan McManus 130,657 34
01/18/2002 06:11 AM

there are times when vile words are the ONLY words for the job, and this was one of those jobs.

Zappa Krappa 1,896 12
01/18/2002 06:16 AM

one time i called a woman a Carroll in mixed company. the record skipped, the room got quiet, and jawShakespeare the floor. Carroll.

i felt like ef Frost-ing hutton.

check out aushie's girthy wood! 5,578 11
01/18/2002 06:28 AM

Carroll is a good word.

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
01/18/2002 10:13 AM

Kick ass story. This is how every Friday should start off.

+19 Chickens 282,028 58
01/18/2002 10:18 AM

I forgive you for half you evil rantings, PB. That was hilarious.

Dead Robot, DUI on a Segway 67,626 15
01/18/2002 10:18 AM

postbear once yelled at a kid for riding on the sidewalk and that kid later turned out to be the son of the superintendant of the apartment block we were trying to get into.



Still, I hate it when people ride on the sidewalk.

+19 Chickens 282,028 58
01/18/2002 10:18 AM

You Carroll.

Nutbutter 181,220 34
01/18/2002 10:22 AM

Today, you are my hero, postbear.



Tomorrow, who knows?

Dead Robot, DUI on a Segway 67,626 15
01/18/2002 10:24 AM

What about me?!



Last night on the escalator down to the subway I said "Excuse me" to a woman standing on the left of the stairs.



I rock.

+19 Chickens 282,028 58
01/18/2002 10:30 AM

You're a Carroll too.

Dead Robot, DUI on a Segway 67,626 15
01/18/2002 10:31 AM

At least I don't smell like chicken poo.

Nutbutter 181,220 34
01/18/2002 10:31 AM

It should be a law that you can knock over any lazy ass person who just stands on the damn escalator.

Dead Robot, DUI on a Segway 67,626 15
01/18/2002 10:34 AM

I get in right behind them all tight and breathe on their necks.

check out aushie's girthy wood! 5,578 11
01/18/2002 10:35 AM

In London you just sort of shove them out of the way. If you're nice, you might mutter "Frost-ing WHORE" sorry, I mean "excuse me".

check out aushie's girthy wood! 5,578 11
01/18/2002 10:36 AM

How! Hi are ya?

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
01/18/2002 10:40 AM

Frost-ing whore? One hundred dollah!

EvilPanda 4,802 12
01/18/2002 10:42 AM

Great story Mr. bear. She deserved it. Who the Frost talks on a cellphone while riding a bike?

Rich (The Compass) 641 12
01/18/2002 11:45 AM

unfortunately about half the cool hipster cyclist population of Cambridge MA. usually while riding on the road tho, but at night without lights or a helmet. while wearing sunglasses. going the wrong way.



I was almost hit by one of these a couple weeks ago.

Jinx the Assailer 5,835 12
01/18/2002 11:55 AM

I hate it when people don't respect my personal space (and crashing into me would certainly qualify in that regard.)



I hate it when a number of freaking idiots make the rest of the cyclists look bad. Carrolls! The men, too!

postbear 10,153 12
01/18/2002 05:46 PM

yeah, Frost all the Carrolls!



wait a minute....



i looked for her and her bike when i was walking back to work. they were gone and i felt so sad and alone.

1bigdork 7,825 12
01/18/2002 06:13 PM

That story just accelerates like a runaway freight train.





I think that you had the license for unlimited abuse when she mentioned the cop. "I'm going to tell the police officer that you called me a dirty name when I was breaking the law!". Way to call the bluff baby!

Dirk Lately 14,001 12
01/18/2002 06:19 PM

When saying "Carroll" it is always best to really enunciate, really stretch the word out. Savor every letter, like good wine.

1bigdork 7,825 12
01/18/2002 06:22 PM

Or in the case of a Carroll, after a good whine.

Manhattan Fever 11,939 12
01/18/2002 06:31 PM

heheheheh, man postbear, you're as vulgar as the day is long...rock the Frost on old man

Some Guy 19,242 12
01/18/2002 06:31 PM

All women are Carrolls.

1bigdork 7,825 12
01/19/2002 12:25 AM

This post was too funny to slip away just yet.



Boing!

AmyPoo 2,710 12
01/19/2002 12:56 PM

good for you postbear. this has been your most enjoyable post to date. for me anyway.

Lindsey 988 12
01/19/2002 01:08 PM

<devil's advocate>



1) What's wrong with talking on your cell while riding your bike? It's weird, but it's not against the law, and probably safer than doing so while driving.



2) What's wrong with having a child seat on one's bike?



3) This summer I got yelled at for riding my bike on the street instead of the sidewalk, by a guy who wanted to drive fast. You just can't win.



</devil's advocate>

AmyPoo 2,710 12
01/19/2002 01:11 PM

i think the problem was when she ran into him.

Jinx the Assailer 5,835 12
01/19/2002 01:14 PM

While some drivers may not like it, the law in most urban places says that bikes should be in the street and shouldn't be on the sidewalk. Many places also say talking on your cel phone while driving is illegal (if you have to use your hands) so why should a bike be different?

Fanlarnagan O'Shibbles 11,939 12
01/19/2002 04:57 PM

1) What's wrong with talking on your cell while riding your bike? It's weird, but it's not against the law, and probably safer than doing so while driving



i dunno about "weird", but it just seems to be the wrong approach. i've seen quite a few near misses around here involving people on bikes and cell phones, and it all boils down to the fact that they can't hold their concentration while doing both of these. so why put yourself at risk of getting creamed by traffic. but i guess if you're riding down some residential street at 5 in the morning you can talk on your cell phone, read the funnies, do a crossword and fry some eggs.



since i don't own a cell phone i'm just curious, is it really necessary to talk on them as much as people do? do you really NEED to call someone or answer your phone while riding a bike or driving a car? have a little Frost-ing patience

0 0
01/19/2002 05:18 PM

What's a Carroll?

It sounds like a type of equine or bovine animal. That's why we named a cow on harvest moon Carroll.

postbear 10,153 12
01/19/2002 06:23 PM

i appreciate your comments, lindsey. and i will try to address them.



having a child seat on a bike is fine. having one and riding dangerously makes me question whether or not she is better behaved when she puts another life on the line. ever seen a car with a caution: baby on board sign run a red light or cut into traffic improperly? i want to know who should really be exercising caution in these cases.



having the cell phone is not against the law, except for blanket laws which cover dangerous driving. yes, cyclists are subject to those laws as well. and while cell phone use while riding may not be spelled out under the law, it is still a dangerous and stupid habit. she was paying little attention to her surroundings, and had one hand on the bike.



drivers who don't like bikes on the road can Frost right off. get a heavy metal U lock and learn how to wield it if they get too close.

ByrdMute 49 11
01/19/2002 11:53 PM

Oh, I put the swear-bot on and now I think I know what it means.



Um, I should re-name that cow.

Stinky 7,952 12
01/19/2002 11:57 PM

I'm not sure if anybody mentioned it earlier, but you're full of Shakespeare, postbear...which isn't good for gay men.

Cap'n Stuby, Professional Buffoon 17,826 12
01/20/2002 12:11 AM

I hear Postbear's gay tribal name is "Roto-Rooter."

Cap'n Stuby, Professional Buffoon 17,826 12
01/20/2002 12:12 AM

A belt clip and a hands-free headset can do wonders for one's ability to operate a bicycle. If I drive and I absolutely have to talk on a cell phone, I use a hands-free headset and voice dialing.





I usually just pull over into a parking lot and talk.

Candie Kohrne minus 4 8,640 14
02/19/2002 03:37 AM

Was there a baby in the seat? The only thing I worry about is scarring the poor kid with the language ..



I didn't find this post funny until I met Crescent Fresh in person and heard the kind of language she uses.

Wyldnfryd 1,323 11
02/19/2002 07:57 AM

I'm a cyclist and I stay on the road. As protection from bad drivers I have a spark plug taped to my handle bars. The urban legend has it that when it breaks glass the ceramic makes little noise. I've never used it thuogh, usually because bad drivers have me hanging on the the handle bars for dear life.

Trae (El Diablo es en mi pantelones) 156,771 17
02/19/2002 09:53 AM

This has to be one of my favorite threads! If for no other reason, then just for the words "Hosebag bitch"

Saint Jinx 5,835 12
02/19/2002 09:56 AM

Dawn is right, CFresh saying that is like, the funniest thing ever.

Trae (El Diablo es en mi pantelones) 156,771 17
02/19/2002 09:58 AM

So she swears like a sailor eh? I thought everyone from up north talked like me. The first time I said "Frost you" here in the south, I thought I was gonna get my mouth washed out with soap!

Saint Jinx 5,835 12
02/19/2002 10:02 AM

It's true...don't let her smile or the little barrettes in her hair fool you. She's very loud, too. Maybe lots of people swear, but when CFresh swears, EVERYONE knows it.

Trae (El Diablo es en mi pantelones) 156,771 17
02/19/2002 10:28 AM

I think I'm gonna like her if I ever meet her!!

17,441 12
02/19/2002 10:30 AM

A fat loud-mouth, what a shock!

+18Chickens 282,028 58
02/19/2002 10:45 AM

Explain the spark plug thing.

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
02/19/2002 10:48 AM

Every spark plug contains a Soul of the Damned. You can sometimes see it. It's blue and stringy and sometimes sticks out the end.



Anyway, when the ceramic bit of a spark plug is shattered, the soul gets free and screams vengeance upon the world. Unfortunately, the soul is usually pretty small and all it can really do is make your peehole bite down on someone's leg while the two of you are sleeping.

Trae (El Diablo es en mi pantelones) 156,771 17
02/19/2002 10:50 AM

make your peehole bite down on someone's leg while the two of you are sleeping.



You frighten me..

















and I think I like it.

Wyldnfryd 1,323 11
02/19/2002 10:52 AM

I can't, but my daddy told me, so it must be true.



Also, I've seen a couple bike couriers carry them. In my mind it's worth it for the threat alone.