sexhead 12,283 9
02/13/2002 10:25 AM

My fave tidbit by Mr. Handy is the one where he was taking his nephew to Disney World, and they passed by some old, burnt out place. So he said, "Oh, Disney must have burnt down." and turned around and drove home while the kid started bawling.

The way he does it is way funnier. But I can't remember it verbatim. So....

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 10:28 AM

Once i told my nephew i was going to drive him to disney world, but instead i drove him to this burnt down warehouse, and said, "i guess disney burned down." He cried and cried. I started to take him to the real disney, then, but it was getting late

Alienyst 2,371 10
02/13/2002 10:29 AM

I always laugh at this one:

"Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out."

Alienyst 2,371 10
02/13/2002 10:30 AM

and this one:

"I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 10:31 AM

Or

"here's a tip for all you mad scientist: for all those brains in jars, add a slice of lemon for freshness"

Adrian Von Buttcrack 13,309 10
02/13/2002 10:33 AM

"Im in to astronomy, so I put in a skylight. The people who live above are furious."

sexhead 12,283 9
02/13/2002 10:36 AM

thanks wako... tee hee

Alienyst 2,371 10
02/13/2002 10:36 AM

"Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer."

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 10:37 AM

No prob. I always said i'd do anything for sex.

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 10:38 AM

If trees could scream, would we be so quick to cut them down? Well, maybe, if they just screamed all the time for no good reason.

Alienyst 2,371 10
02/13/2002 10:40 AM

"Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like."

sexhead 12,283 9
02/13/2002 10:40 AM

i started to get confusticated for a moment, there, wondering where sex came into it...























and then i remembered my name.

and the senility sets in....

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 10:43 AM

it's ok, i don't mind. I never mind when head is involved.

sexhead 12,283 9
02/13/2002 10:45 AM

mind? what mind? are you accusing me of having a brain?

thou vile scoundrel?

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 10:49 AM

I relent, i relent!! Kindly remove your pincers from my nipples.

sexhead 12,283 9
02/13/2002 10:51 AM

so sorry.

but i am a cancer, after all.

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 10:53 AM

Really? i thought you were the cyst...ok, who's the cyst?

Alienyst 2,371 10
02/13/2002 10:54 AM

find a nice compilation here for those unfamiliar

Alienyst 2,371 10
02/13/2002 10:55 AM

where's that damn useful clickie when you need it?

sexhead 12,283 9
02/13/2002 10:59 AM

the cyst went to bed.

tired.

Wakowill 11,999 10
02/13/2002 11:13 AM

you know, normally i hate that damn cyst, but he looks so innocent in his sleep