+18Chickens 286,208 61
02/25/2002 05:41 PM

*yawn*

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/25/2002 05:42 PM

Ouch, Vlad is sad. But that's ok. Sniff-sniff.

5,097 15
02/25/2002 05:45 PM

a bit pointless, since we were detracted from the story by the stupidity of your character. 3rd person didn't work for dole, and being goth didn't work for DD. This isn't the WWF, you don't need a gimmick, kid.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/25/2002 05:48 PM

Not Vlad's gimmick! Vlad is like this! Why can't you like Vlad for Vlad? Damn you cruel world, damn you!!!

Some Guy 19,242 12
02/25/2002 06:12 PM

Some Guy liked story. Some Guy gave Vlad clickies.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/25/2002 06:43 PM

Thanks Some Guy, you made Vlad's day! :)

aushie 5,580 13
02/25/2002 07:03 PM

Vlad, who are you? I love you as Vlad, but I want to make sure I don't hate you as whomever you really are.

Special Olympic Peon 6,076 13
02/25/2002 07:10 PM

As Huey Lewis said, "Sometimes, Vlad is Vlad."

Sexhead Maryam Peron Madrid Descamisados 12,287 12
02/25/2002 07:10 PM

Vlad, I like you. You crack me up, dude.



Ohh me like Vlad-y.

Ohh me like Vlad-y.

Me click you long time...

Sexhead Maryam Peron Madrid Descamisados 12,287 12
02/25/2002 07:11 PM

And, out of curiosity, what are the requirements of a succubus? Do you have a succubus waiting list? What does one have to do to get on yours?

Special Olympic Peon 6,076 13
02/25/2002 07:12 PM

You merely have to wait at the succubus stop.

Candie Kohrne Signora Con i Gatti 8,640 15
02/25/2002 07:18 PM

I gave Vlad clickies too.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/25/2002 07:27 PM

Vlad says thanks to everyone for the clickies!!!



Hmmm, how to become a Vlad succubus...... Well, Vlad likes girls that suck. Blood that is. Vlad finds most girls find that distasteful, so Vlad is usually hard up for action. But if you can stomach blood, then I guess you'd have to be female, preferably less than a millenium old (Vlad has Vlad's standards) and be into cheese and dark colors. Also, you can be Vlad's succubus if you can prove that you can iron Vlad's cape without burning it. Vlad has had hard time finding women that meat Vlad's high standards. Meet, Vlad means, meet!

Sexhead Maryam Peron Madrid Descamisados 12,287 12
02/25/2002 07:38 PM

I can learn to suck - I already know the *basics* but in the blood area I have much yet to learn. I am far less than a millenium old, and I fear that I may in fact be too young! Cheese I do deeply dig - Camembert, Gorgonzola and Gouda are faves - and if Vlad would like to fund a new wardrobe, dark colors are definitely not out of the question. Do you have red walls? I love red walls. Yum. But I fear I may also not pass muster in the ironing department. I have never been much of a homemaker. I don't understand the point when there's always some Chinese dude down the street willing to do it for dolla twenny fie a shirt? I'm sure he could do your cape, too.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/25/2002 07:52 PM

Vlad doesn't like Chinese people "doing his cape." if you know what Vlad means.



One sad thing Vlad has found is that sometimes Chinese people really do have doggy breath. Yick.

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
02/25/2002 07:53 PM

Vlad is a racist.

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
02/25/2002 07:54 PM

But Vlad still got a clickie.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/25/2002 08:09 PM

Vlad is no racist. Isn't it true that the Chinese consider dog a delicacy? Vlad might be wrong, maybe it's the Koreans. Sorry If Vlad offended, Vlad didn't mean to. Vlad loves everyone equally!

Sexhead Maryam Peron Madrid Descamisados 12,287 12
02/25/2002 08:27 PM

Yeah, but I want you to love me more equally.

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
02/25/2002 08:58 PM

Vlad loves in vein.

Alienyst 2,371 12
02/25/2002 09:50 PM

Someone bit Vlads love vein?

Sexhead Maryam Peron Madrid Descamisados 12,287 12
02/25/2002 10:13 PM

I tried to, but I think only the "proper" succubus can.



Vlad has not informed me as to how my interview went.

Declan (Now With Cookies) McManus 131,867 36
02/25/2002 10:40 PM

Hello, Vlad!



if you ever think of "trying a guy" for a succubus, do send me an email!

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
02/25/2002 10:42 PM

Veinity, thy name is Declan.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/25/2002 11:33 PM

Sexhead, I guess you're a new trainee. BUT only on one condition. You must bite Jenna Elfman on her balls. They're hidden well, so it might take you a while. But Vlad cannot accept any new blood until Vlad's needs are satisfied.



And Declan, if Vlad needs help from a guy, you'll be the first to know.

Sexhead Maryam Peron Madrid Descamisados 12,287 12
02/26/2002 12:09 AM

Yay!



After I'm done biting her balls, can we swing by Arby's for a blood sausage and cheddar?

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/26/2002 12:19 AM

Um, sure, as long as you buy. Vlad has no pockets in his cape. Makes store going difficult.





Poor Vlad, the dead beat vampire.

Sexhead Maryam Peron Madrid Descamisados 12,287 12
02/26/2002 12:41 AM

Why poor Vlad, the dead beat vampire?



1) You'd make a Shakespearety vampire if you were alive

2) You have rhythm! Embrace it. Write poetry so I can start calling you Vlad Kerouac.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
02/26/2002 02:48 AM

I've got rhythm....

Some Guy 19,242 12
02/26/2002 04:40 AM

Vlad is definitely the coolest.

Santo Guillermo Wako 12,056 12
03/21/2002 01:12 PM

Ok, so i'm about 200 years behind in reading this bit, but hell it's still on the most recent page.

Vlad is the kingpire.

By the way, i'm no qta, but i would still do what ever it takes to be like vlad.

Hopefully, i'd be the impaleher

Frogpop 173,148 25
09/03/2004 02:47 AM

who made this story?



Vlad made this story.



Duh.

Flying Hippo of doom™ 1,246 10
09/03/2004 03:04 AM

WHO THE Frost JUST DID ALL THOSE POSTS!!!!

El Hammerheado 59,399 14
09/03/2004 03:22 AM

Hey, Hippo, read the Frost-ing timestamps. They were done over two years ago. Moron.

Vlad The Impaler 19,599 12
09/03/2004 09:38 AM

Hi! Vlad is Vlad! Vlad is a little slow sometimes. Vlad almost always speaks in the third person. Vlad is rad!

The Rat 2,085 9
09/03/2004 09:48 AM

"

I've got rhythm...."





Vlad does not ALWAYS speak in third person

The Rat 2,085 9
09/03/2004 09:51 AM

oh you said almost, i missed that, sorry Vlad

Frogpop 173,148 25
09/03/2004 09:53 AM

youuu dirty rat...

Frogpop 173,148 25
01/11/2005 07:27 AM

I don't remember saying that.

Phuc 237,915 21
01/11/2005 07:48 AM

We don't call 'em "mahas" for nuttin.

Juansidious 7,400 0
10/04/2006 11:50 PM

omgwtfbbq