Ford Prefect 5,475 13
03/06/2002 03:44 PM

I'll have to rehash then.



What's eighteen inches long and makes a woman scream all night long?



Crib death

1bigdork 7,825 12
03/06/2002 03:44 PM

Is this like a bachelor party?



I call dibs on the donkey!

Ford Prefect 5,475 13
03/06/2002 03:44 PM

What's the worst thing about sex with a nine year old? Getting the blood out of the clown suit.



The best part? Hearing the bones crack.

Merkin 10,008 13
03/06/2002 03:44 PM

* throws dead, armless baby at Nutbutter *

445 0
03/06/2002 03:44 PM

First to... bang

1bigdork 7,825 12
03/06/2002 03:45 PM

* shakes baby off imaginary pitchfork *

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
03/06/2002 03:47 PM

A guy comes home to find his girlfriend packing up her things.

"Honey, why are you leaving me?"



"Because you're a pedophile!"



"My, that's an awfully big word for a 9 year old."

dr froglord 9,243 13
03/06/2002 03:48 PM

What's the best part about sex with a 9 yr old girl?



If you roll her over, she looks like a 9 yr old boy.

Splooge 445 0
03/06/2002 03:49 PM

What's more fun than nailing a baby to the wall?



Ripping it back off the wall.

Splooge 445 0
03/06/2002 03:50 PM

What do you get when you stab a baby 15 times?



An erection.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/06/2002 03:54 PM

Yeah, I was...uhhhhh...joking about that.

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/06/2002 04:02 PM

But Nut, you have cats and all the sick cat jokes seem to be right up your alley. Oh I get it. You love your cats, you just don't love your cats. Not the way you'll love your child. And by love I mean ass-ram.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
03/06/2002 04:05 PM

Vlad's confused, doesn't "ass-ram" sound like some middle-eastern hat thingee?



"It's sad to see him go, and I will honor him by wearing his ass-ram on my head."

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/06/2002 04:07 PM

I know for a fact that Nutbutter ass-rams his cats.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/06/2002 04:08 PM

My cats are cool. I love my cats.



If I were hungry enough though, I would kill them and eat them. They are not humans, after all.



I would not kill and eat my own child.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
03/06/2002 04:10 PM

Okay, so you weren't in the Donner Party?

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/06/2002 04:10 PM

I have ass-rammed every living thing on earth. That's why I'm a vegetarian.

+17Chickens 286,208 61
03/06/2002 04:11 PM

Scooter is going to make me tinkle.

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
03/06/2002 04:11 PM

Vlad won't kill and eat your child either Mr. Nutter.





Vlad will however suck every ounce of blood out of it.





Have a nice day!

+17Chickens 286,208 61
03/06/2002 04:11 PM

Yeah, Vlad sucks alright.

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/06/2002 04:21 PM

Vlad does not suck. Vlad is cool.



Obviously, you have Vlad confused with yourself.

postbear 10,158 13
03/06/2002 04:34 PM

we're waiting until the baby is born to up the ante, nutbuster.



your struggle is our amusement.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
03/06/2002 05:04 PM

What do you get when you stick a knife in an infant?



An erection.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/06/2002 05:05 PM

Read the thread befre you post, robot.

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/06/2002 05:08 PM

what do you get when you beat a baby bloody with a baseball bat, shove splintery wood up its ass, peel its skin off witha butterknife, and run it througha meat grinder?



An erection.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/06/2002 05:09 PM

What do you get when you run for office in China?



An erection.

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/06/2002 05:10 PM

What does Squeamish get when he sees a big steaming pile fresh poop.



Horny.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/06/2002 05:11 PM

What do you get when you lower your Celexa dosage?



An erection.

Merkin 10,008 13
03/06/2002 05:12 PM

I'm glad I could provide inspiration for this latest round of baby-related erection jokes.

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/06/2002 05:15 PM

What do you get when you massage your penis?



flatulence

EvilPanda 4,807 13
03/06/2002 05:16 PM

What's the best thing about sex with a toddler?









Your dick looks huge in their hands!

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/06/2002 05:22 PM

Every GAB after about #11,000 is just a repeat.

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
03/06/2002 05:28 PM

How do you know you're sick?

When you ask Gab to gross you out, and they can't.

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
03/06/2002 05:28 PM

Remember the motto of NAMBLA: "Sex by 8 or it's too late".



And of Feeble: "Old enough to pee, old enough for me".

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/06/2002 05:32 PM

What do you get when you put a fish in a tank with water in it?



An erection.

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
03/06/2002 05:37 PM

What do you get if you have an erection?



A baby to molest for the rest of your life!

Mexican Charlie 1,094 12
03/06/2002 05:42 PM

Q: What's green and hangs from trees











































A: Giraffe snot

Dead Robot 67,630 16
03/06/2002 05:50 PM

Wait. So what you're saying is that after you eat the placenta, no more off colour baby jokes?

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
03/06/2002 05:54 PM

As long as we can tell baby jokes about Melanie and her bastard.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/06/2002 05:54 PM

That is what I am saying.



I might auction off the placenta here on Gab if John will write some sort of auction-bot.

Sexhead, Succubus-In-Training 12,287 12
03/06/2002 05:55 PM

What's green and smells like ham?



























Kermit's finger.

(K. So it's not a *baby* joke. So sue me.)

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/06/2002 05:56 PM

What's brown and smells like Kermit's finger?

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
03/06/2002 05:56 PM

Nutbutter, please.



Once you have the little rascal, you then have so much more material.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/06/2002 05:58 PM

DUNG!



wait...

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/06/2002 06:19 PM

"I would not kill and eat my own child."



Let's not be so hasty in deciding this, Nut. It's not like you can't just make another one. Think about this. If you kill and eat it everytime Gavia has a baby, she'll have to let you or the mailman boner her at least one more time if she wants a replacement. huh? huh!?

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/06/2002 06:19 PM

boner her... hehehehehe

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
03/06/2002 06:19 PM

What's the best thing about pedophile babysitters?

They LIKE to change diapers.

What's the best thing about having Squeamish for a babysitter?

He eats the diapers.

Special Olympic Peon 6,076 13
03/06/2002 06:26 PM

If Nutter had to constantly produce replacements, he'd have to change his handle to Westerberg.

Pen15 84 7
03/07/2006 10:23 PM

Why do german shower heads have 11 holes?

















Jews have 10 fingers

Chit Eating Grin 178,732 15
03/07/2006 10:34 PM

Vlad the Impaler



Vlad won't kill and eat your child either Mr. Nutter.





Vlad will however suck every ounce of blood out of it.





Have a nice day!





+17Chickens



Yeah, Vlad sucks alright.







Classic Chickens !

S. Kake 55,555 14
03/07/2006 10:41 PM

haha, classic. Before everyone found out about Nutbutter being gay. Hey, we didn't HAVE Ditdah or gay marriage back then, folks.