Ford Prefect 5,475 13
03/07/2002 11:12 PM

I hope you didn't say you knew why he pulled you over. If he didn't have the radar in his hand, he can't prove how fast you were going, and unless you ADMIT to speeding he wouldn't be able to do a thing.



The only reason they ever ask you that stuff is to get you to incriminate yourself.

Fronzel Neekburm 15,959 13
03/07/2002 11:12 PM

Zoom Zoom?



You got a Mazda?

Oscillometric Digital Blood Pressure Monitor 1,686 13
03/07/2002 11:13 PM

All I wanna do is zooma-zoom zoom!

Oscillometric Digital Blood Pressure Monitor 1,686 13
03/07/2002 11:14 PM

Take it from me, I've gotten two speeding tickets and one for rear ending a lady, when you go to court, and it is your turn to plead, don't stand up on the table and holler "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! DEATH TO AMERICA!"













They don't see the humor in that

Declan (Now With Cookies) McManus 131,867 36
03/07/2002 11:14 PM

Yea!



Manny's no longer a speeding ticket virgin!

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/07/2002 11:15 PM

I swear I wanna crack that little bastard "Zoom zoom" kid in the face with a Frost-ing shark.

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/07/2002 11:16 PM

Ford,



It's standard procedure for the pig-I mean law enforcement official to ask "Do you know why I pulled you over?" so that, in those rare instances when they don't have you locked in on radar you might be stupid enough to be honest.



I always respond with "Becuase you were trying to fill your quota?"



To which they always respond, "I don't have a quota."



Than I reach into my pocket and offer him a quarter.

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/07/2002 11:16 PM

Than?



Damn, I must be high.

Declan (Now With Cookies) McManus 131,867 36
03/07/2002 11:16 PM

I know of basking sharks, lemon sharks, whale sharks, but this is the first I've heard of a "Frost-ing" shark.





Vicar, Jaques Cousteau must ph33r you!

Father Muerte 11,939 13
03/07/2002 11:17 PM

Oh, when he asked me why I just popped a cap in the muthaFrostin pig and spit on his dead body.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/07/2002 11:19 PM

Frost-ing sharks buy you a drink first, then get you from behind when you are putting on your coat to leave.

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/07/2002 11:20 PM

I've said this before but take it to court and they'll most likely drop it altogether save the court costs. Their main concern is getting money out of you and getting you out of their hair asap. Give them a check for putting them out and they'll likely send you on your way.

May be different in your state but speeding tickets are nothing here 'cause they don't stick.

The only dumb thing to do is to mail in payment for the ticket and watch your insurance rates fly up.

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/07/2002 11:20 PM

Oh, when he asked me why I just popped a cap in the muthaFrostin pig and spit on his dead body.



I love it when white boys from the suburbs talk ghetto.

Father Muerte 11,939 13
03/07/2002 11:21 PM

Hey, lookit that! Jay took a joke seriously! Welcome to GAB you flaky bitch!

Declan (Now With Cookies) McManus 131,867 36
03/07/2002 11:22 PM

Oh- you a Parrothead, Vicar?







'cues "Fins" from Songs You Know By Heart'

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/07/2002 11:22 PM

Go get me a bag of chips, delivery boy.

Father Muerte 11,939 13
03/07/2002 11:23 PM

I did have a roach in the ashtray. Good thing they did not search me ohohhhahahahahohohohohoho!

Ford Prefect 5,475 13
03/07/2002 11:28 PM

"I've said this before but take it to court and they'll most likely drop it altogether save the court costs."



That may be true in your city or district or whatever, but actually, if you get tagged by the radar, unless the cop doesn't show up for your date, and unless you can't show that there was something wrong like that he hadn't had his radar calibrated, if you show up to fight it it'll last about three seconds and the ticket will stick.

Mike Moon, Crazy Ass Negro 4,366 14
03/07/2002 11:30 PM

I was hoping for some type of contest where I got to guess. But you ruined the suprise.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/07/2002 11:30 PM

Plus, unless you have a very cool boss, you're better off paying the ticket than taking time off work or spending vacation time.

Fronzel Neekburm 15,959 13
03/07/2002 11:36 PM

There are cops that don't have the proper certification to use a radar gun.



If they don't have that, you can get out. But I think state cops and cycle cops gotta have it. They just gotta.



At least in Louisiana.

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
03/07/2002 11:43 PM

I have so many tickets that the cops now know me by name. They don't write the tickets anymore, they have a rubber stamp with my name and address. Saves them time.



Soon, they will just randomly mail me tickets in the mail, since they figure I just speed so often...

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/07/2002 11:49 PM

As hard as this may be to believe, Gerard, you're wrong on this one. Yes, I have gotten a couple of tickets under "radar". Yes, I took them to court and yes, the cops show. No, the tickets didn't stick and no, they are not on my record. I was never questioned at any time except to be asked if I had the ticket with me.

Show up, dress nicely and express concern. They'll let you go.

And if not, hey, you at least tried instead if resigning to your nice, higher insurance premiums.

Fronzel Neekburm 15,959 13
03/07/2002 11:51 PM

Chicks get off easy. You get pulled over, start crying.





If that doesn't work, offer a blow job.

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/07/2002 11:53 PM

I believe one time they asked if I wanted to take the ticket to a judge or (their preferred option) they would drop it for court costs so everyone could go home.

I took the court costs and the cop was furious but it was well worth it for 10 years of a squeakey clean record.

There have been times since that they've changed their mind about the ticket altogether once they ran my ID through.

Like I said, it's definitely worth the fight and worth the try.

What it boils down to is your word against a cop. Sometimes more than one cop, as it was with my "radar case". If you can walk in there with the right attitude, I swear you can win them over.

I've done this time and time again.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/08/2002 12:04 AM

Maybe if you stopped breaking the law you wouldn't have to muck about with that sort of rubbish and get a more wholesome hobby like macrame or needlepoint, you unrepentant villain!

Declan (again with cookies!) McManus 131,867 36
03/08/2002 12:06 AM

Gosh, Vicar- you talk to Underwater Animals recently?





"unrepentant villain?"













'snort'

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/08/2002 02:43 AM

You know, the states have the power and discretion in these kinds of cases. Just because something works in Peru doesn't mean it works in San Jose.



You get the idea.

Alienyst 2,371 12
03/08/2002 10:12 AM

As a veteran speeder, I bet this won't be your last. Once you get one, many follow in the years to come.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/08/2002 10:22 AM

I've averaged abou 2 tickets a year since I was 15.



1. Ford's right, never admit you were speeding. Ever. Even if they have you on radar. Never ever.



2. If you're polite and get lucky with who you get on the phone, you can usually get it either reduced to a NMV or dropped altogether if you call the DA's office a couple of days after the ticket.



3. If you go to court, you're gonna get off unless he had you on radar and he's a complete dick. If the cop had you on radar and he shows up to court, and you didn't suck him off like Mel, you're getting a ticket.



I'd rather just pay the ticket (especially for a NMV) than waste a whole damn day at traffic court.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/08/2002 10:23 AM

>any thought that enters my mind is quickly forgotten 15 seconds later



* tokes *



Wait, what were we just talking about?

Crickette 2,472 12
03/08/2002 11:41 AM

I am a horrible lier.



I can say "I'm sorry, I didn't realize how fast I was going" when I'm sitting there in my car without completely turning red, but I can't stand there in front of a judge and lie through my teeth that I wasn't speeding when it was pretty obvious that I was.



I guess I still have that "respect for authority" thing going on.

Crickette 2,472 12
03/08/2002 11:41 AM

I'm a horrible liar *and* a horrible speller, apparently.

17,446 13
03/08/2002 11:43 AM

It comes as little surpise that Melanie is proud of weaseling out of her Frost ups.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/08/2002 11:44 AM

When I lie, my pants burst into flames.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/08/2002 11:49 AM

That would be a pretty cool stage act.



"I have a 27 inch penis!"



*Fwoooom!*



"Yaaaaaaaah!"

Stinky 7,952 12
03/08/2002 11:52 AM

When I get pulled over, I quickly pee my pants. Then as I roll down my window, I point to the wet steamy stain and say "this isn't coffee, bub." After the cop looks at me in utter disgust, he waves me away.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/08/2002 11:58 AM

"I did have a roach in the ashtray"



The golden rule: Never break two laws at once!



That's how people get busted. If you have drugs in the car, drive the damn speed limit. If you're buzzed, don't speed.



People don't get pulled over because they're drunk or have weed in the car. They get pulled over for speeding or being stupid and THEN it is discovered they are drunk.



My advice: If it is obvious you were guilty (45 in a 25 is pretty obvious) then just pay it. If you were doing 10 - 15 MPH over the limit on a clear day with dry roads, you have a good chance getting off.



If you make a Mel Haber salary of $6.25 an hour you're better off taking the day off rather than paying the $75.00 - $150.00 ticket.



If you're going to fight it, don't admit to speeding. They're try to get you to admit going over the limit with the tease of a reduced fine. Don't fall for it. The $75.00 ticket is nothing compared to the six years (at least in MA) of insurance surcharges. Even if they reduce the fine the surcharges are the same.

Stinky 7,952 12
03/08/2002 12:01 PM

My anus is still ripped and bleeding from the raping I got by Massachusetts law. One speeding ticket gave me 2 debit points on my driving record. 2 years of squeaky-clean driving down the drain and now my insurance costs will be up another $500.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/08/2002 12:02 PM

If you get the ticket reduced to a NMV it doesn't affect your insurance.



My last speeding ticket was changed to "No gas cap."

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/08/2002 12:10 PM

It's true. I can't think of one instance of Miyu ever lying about anyhting.

181,255 35
03/08/2002 12:12 PM

Not even lying about cheating on you?

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/08/2002 12:15 PM

you don't know Shakespeare.



probably.

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/08/2002 12:20 PM

and if you do, I should smack you.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
03/08/2002 12:24 PM

My last speeding ticket was changed to "No gas cap."



Driving naked again?

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/08/2002 12:28 PM

No, I was speeding, but they needed something to reduce the fine to that wouldn't affect my insurance.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
03/08/2002 12:28 PM

Joke speeds by Squeams head.

Crickette 2,472 12
03/08/2002 12:35 PM

I didn't say I never lied. I just said I'm bad at it.

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/08/2002 02:35 PM

but I can't stand there in front of a judge and lie through my teeth that I wasn't speeding when it was pretty obvious that I was.



In my cases, I never even saw a judge - just the court clerk. I never had to lie about anything to anyone because no questions were asked. I walked in and 10 minutes later walked out. I'm not going to plead guilty to something expensive that will affect my driving record for years to come and that I also think I'm not guilty of. As I mentioned, there have been tickets overlooked altogether in "speed trap zones" once they ran my license through and saw that it was clean.

I'm not "proud" of any of this, just stating my case in counsil.

Ford was right about the "don't admit your guilt to the cop on the spot" bit. They're trying to get you to admit to a wrong that you may or may not have made. The same rule that applies in car accidents applies well when getting pulled over. Turn into Keanu - you know nothing.

Use your own descretion. If your court circumstances are much different then, no, it won't be as easy for you as it was for me.

Just telling you what I've been through and that my decisions as a result were well worth the time.

If you're lazy and don't care about throwing money away, have at it and send in the check. This would be the "easier" decision.

Crickette 2,472 12
03/08/2002 02:36 PM

How can you not think you're guilty of speeding when you're speeding?

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/08/2002 02:37 PM

Who says I'm guilty?

Crickette 2,472 12
03/08/2002 02:38 PM

So they just pulled you over for the hell of it?

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/08/2002 02:39 PM

Hard to believe that sometimes even authority can be wrong.

Crickette 2,472 12
03/08/2002 02:41 PM

I don't know, it's pretty easy to tell if someone's speeding or not.



If I got pulled over as much as you seem to have and I wasn't ever speeding, I would have my speedometer checked.

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/08/2002 02:45 PM

It's been quite a while since I was pulled over. Sometimes it was a tail light out or some such nonsense. In this town at month end the cops have to reach quota and tickets double the last weekend of every month. You learn after awhile what spots to avoid.

What it comes down to in court is your word against someone else's. If you act like you care you will make an impression on the court clerk who sees hundreds of people a day filing in and paying their fine with no resistance.

It's not difficult at all to turn the cards in your favor with a little bit of effort.

Descretion is key.

dinesh 24,862 16
03/08/2002 02:52 PM

my speedometer reads about 8% high, as a result of using thinner tires. So when I'm driving "70", i'm actually going 65. No wonder I've gotten way fewer tickets than I thought I deserved (I only recently discovered this when I pulled the old GPS unit out of storage and stuck it on my dash).

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/08/2002 02:55 PM

Once many moons ago I was driving a friend's car, which was falling apart as we wer in motion. Swear to god, the speedometer was one of the many things broken.

We were driving what we assumed was the speed limit when we noticed a cop in the right lane right ahead. He wasn't "in pursuit" or anything like that so we thought, "Cool. We'll just keep the pace with him and we'll know we're doing fine."

He pulled us over and accused us of speeding anyway.

We pressed the pedal in park and showed in the broken speedometer and asked what speed we WERE going since we were level with him.

He let us go promptly afterwards.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/08/2002 03:00 PM

>my speedometer reads about 8% high, as a result of using thinner tires.



You mean smaller diameter tires.

That 80's Peon 6,076 13
03/08/2002 03:01 PM

You've got a better excuse now. You could say your water broke.

That 80's Peon 6,076 13
03/08/2002 03:02 PM

That was for Melanie, but works equally well for Squeamish.

dinesh 24,862 16
03/08/2002 03:03 PM

well, if it's picky you want, i suppose i mean smaller outer diameter tires, since the inner diameter is still the same - R15 - just big enough for that Frost-ing baby to sit in.

Scooter Brown 19,936 13
03/08/2002 03:13 PM

speeding is not something that invokes guilt in me

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/08/2002 03:27 PM

I can't believe I got a full pee tube for the quarter comment.

The Mad Sipper 63 11
03/08/2002 03:40 PM

You've been sipped, nube Frost!

Ford Prefect 5,475 13
03/08/2002 03:59 PM

Like i said originally, it varies depending on where you live. They are pretty hard core in Michigan. If you try to get off you better have an actual case.



If they let you off for the sake of expediency then really they are either a corrupt or incompetent court. That would be fine and dandy with me if we had those, but we don't. People do fight tickets here and they do get reductions some of the time but it's far from a sure thing.

Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,550 13
03/08/2002 04:02 PM

Fair enough. Maybe our cops are trigger happy, maybe they're corrupt but the point is that traffic court is flooded every day at 201 Poplar and those who act like they give a Shakespeare about being there are usually rewarded and treated pretty well.

It's worth the shot, I'd say for Manny wherever he ends up in front of a court clerk.

The worst they can say is "denied" and you have to pay the fine. The best is that ticket will disappear.

Jay & Silent Bob 19,242 12
03/08/2002 04:13 PM

Bring them some chips, dude.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/08/2002 04:18 PM

You're forgetting one thing, Shelby:



Manny's a Frost-ing smelly raghead.



Just pay the fine, Manny.