Gavia immer 803 13
03/22/2002 11:04 AM

You will pay for posting this, my love. Oh yes, you will pay!

Sleestack 30,342 13
03/22/2002 11:06 AM

(sends Gavia year's subscription to HamsterDance Quarterly)

EvilPanda 4,807 13
03/22/2002 11:08 AM

Straight people are weird.

Microcube (same great taste) 13,428 12
03/22/2002 11:10 AM

I walked up to a pregnant woman yesterday and asked her when the alien is gonna explode out of her stomach and eat someone.





she didn't think it was funny

1bigdork 7,825 12
03/22/2002 11:12 AM

You have learned Grasshopper.

dr froglord 9,243 13
03/22/2002 11:32 AM

In most situations outside of here the answers given here do not work. While acting as tech support for a training class another programmer asked me how to fix something. When I responded with "fdisk", he was horrified. I felt like I had committed some kind of unforgivable offense, like sending his kid to Catholic daycamp or something.

Gavia immer 803 13
03/22/2002 11:34 AM

Froglord, I'm glad you understand my embarrasment.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/22/2002 11:35 AM

The anonymous nature of message boards makes people into different things. Some people get more agressive and other, like me, get more vulgar.



It's nice to be able to spout some of the insanely inappropriate crap that I have, but I think it's only making me worse.

jellytot 3,504 11
03/22/2002 11:37 AM

I have to remind myself not to say "Frost you!" to people.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/22/2002 11:37 AM

DId I ever tell you guys about the fisting joke she made during Easter dinner last year?

dr froglord 9,243 13
03/22/2002 11:37 AM

Frost-ing whiner crybaby bitch.









Oh. Did I say that out loud? Sorry Vicar.

Ford Prefect 5,475 13
03/22/2002 11:37 AM

I'm more or less the same.



Good thing I don't like people much.

Candie Kohrne Signora Con i Gatti 8,640 15
03/22/2002 11:49 AM

There have been at least two occasions on which I made Gab-worthy cracks in public, and received blank stares.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/22/2002 11:52 AM

Only two?



I do it daily.

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
03/22/2002 11:53 AM

I've noticed that GAB has honed my quick wit in the "real" world. I'm always trying to think of something to say on here before someone else posts it, thus you become fast at saying things.



In the "real" world, I no longer wish think of things to say after the situation has happened.





"Oh yeah, well you stink like ... uhh ... uhhh .... poo!"

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/22/2002 11:56 AM

Easter dinner cries for a good fisting joke now and then.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/22/2002 12:00 PM

Especially if you're serving ham.

jellytot 3,504 11
03/22/2002 12:19 PM

Or eggs from your vagina.

1bigdork 7,825 12
03/22/2002 12:20 PM

I'm kicking myself for not thinking of this sooner:



You or Gavia needed to hold up a picture of Goatse Man and ask "How many centimeters dialated do you think he is?"

Candie Kohrne Signora Con i Gatti 8,640 15
03/22/2002 12:29 PM

I just remembered one!



Mom and Stepdad took Charlie and me out for a mantinee movie and lunch last Sunday.



We're driving in the car, and Mom (a nurse) is telling me how her office has just been set up with much faster, always-on internet, plus new video cards and what have you.



I responded, "That way you can watch your porn better."



Charlie lost it. Mom said "What?", probably unable to believe I had said that. I repeated it and she kinda chuckled in embarrasment and said, "No! Our films on disease and things!"

Merkin 10,008 13
03/22/2002 12:30 PM

Ah, Momma Kohrne. What a corker.

The Dirty Vicar 17,446 13
03/22/2002 12:35 PM

If you take a moment to think about the sorts of things we flippantly discuss on a daily basis here, you'll see how twisted we have become.



We're still, on the whole, decent caring people.



But the other day I got big laughs for commenting that children in kiddie porn were filthy whores. Child pornography and molestation is horrific and I'd rather not think about it. But I guess there are some topics that can only be dealt with by making jokes.

Merkin 10,008 13
03/22/2002 12:36 PM

Like sex with babies.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/22/2002 12:37 PM

Kiddie porn's a victimless crime.



Babies need lovin' too.

That 80's Peon 6,076 13
03/22/2002 12:47 PM

there are some topics that can only be dealt with by making jokes



Like Kylie Minogue.

Candie Kohrne Signora Con i Gatti 8,640 15
03/22/2002 12:53 PM

You mean this Kylie Minogue?

That 80's Peon 6,076 13
03/22/2002 12:59 PM

Or this Kylie Minogue.



For some reason, I can't get her out of my head.

Barking Pumpkin 19,242 12
03/22/2002 01:27 PM

I tell people "Fdisk" all the time.

dr froglord 9,243 13
03/22/2002 01:41 PM

We had a case last year here where two guys were arrested for filming themselves having sex with a Great Dane (yes, the dog). I got the strangest look when I said the dog was asking for it, wearing that skin tight fur.

Scooter Brown- #1 Genius Scientist in the Universe 19,936 13
03/22/2002 03:10 PM

Isn't she the chick on the cover of Stuff magazine. rrrrrrowwwwrrrr.





I don't have too much trouble. Me and my bestest pal have had basically the same style of humor that's here since forever. The only thing I have to watch is my reaction to religious topics. He's a christian, and since my time on gab, anti-christian humor seems to pop instantly into my head and head stagiht for my mouth whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Squeamish 38,986 14
03/22/2002 03:12 PM

I got strange looks when I read a newspaper story about a kid that got killed when his house burnt down because his mother left a space heater on his bed while he was asleep.



Maybe it was because I said "that's natural selection at work."

Candie Kohrne Signora Con i Gatti 8,640 15
03/22/2002 03:13 PM

Maybe she's rrrroooowwwrrrr now, but that 1988 album cover was the doofiest one I've ever seen.



Look! Her hair is part of her hat! How clever!

Candie Kohrne Signora Con i Gatti 8,640 15
03/22/2002 03:14 PM

Maybe it was because I said "that's natural selection at work."





I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying something like that all the time.

EvilPanda 4,807 13
03/22/2002 03:14 PM

It's kind of sad to have to start your career as "Australia's answer to Debbie Gibson".

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
03/22/2002 03:17 PM

That ad kicks ass.

Mike Moon, Crazy Ass Negro 4,366 14
03/22/2002 03:18 PM

I'm nothing like this in real life. In real life I'm 17 and play Chronotrigger all the time. Anyone wanna swap anime DVDs?

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
03/22/2002 03:40 PM

Gab is not training for reality? How odd.

SalsaShark - a.k.a. "Viv Savage" 6,518 11
03/22/2002 03:44 PM

a lot of Australia's answers to [whatever] are pretty sad.

Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
03/22/2002 03:57 PM

Australia's answer to beer is Fosters. It's pretty bad.

Aphrodite 2,261 13
03/22/2002 04:01 PM

I totally agree!!! One of my boyfriends totally tactless friends told the following joke in a room full of people. I howeled with laughter for about five seconds when I noticed everyone else was embarassingly silent.



What's black and blue and hates sex?



















































The little boy in my basement.

Neep- Do not annoy the unmedicated. 35,066 15
06/16/2006 05:36 AM

In honour of her birfday.

Chickens N Sweet Brown Rice 08 286,208 61
06/16/2006 05:41 AM

that had to be one of froglords better posts ever

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
06/16/2006 08:41 AM

Ahh yes, the good old days, before my wife pounded out that little hellion and my life was ruined forever.



Thanks a lot, honey.



Oh yeah, happy birthday. Just to make sure we can get on with life in another 14 years without having to watch another parasite squeezing out the ol' Play-doe Fun Factory -o- Life, I got you a coat hanger and a a carton of smokes.