postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 01:10 AM

now replay the same routine, only this guy is taller and has so many flakes of skin peeling from his eyelids that he could make a dog vomit. as i'm listing the light beer brands, he interrupts me in nearly the same spot as his buddy did, and orders a miller light. oh yeah, and he also left a jaw-dropping 25 cent tip.



third guy approaches, and he's a stutterer. he asks about light beer brands (what the hell is it with you yanks and light beer?) and because he stutters, i manage to tell him about our last one -- coors light. he orders that, and goes to stand with his friends after paying me.



when doofus number four was buying his beer, doofus numbers one and two approach me to complain because i didn't tell them we had coors light to offer. when i try to explain to them that they interrupted me as i was listing their options, they interrupt me to tell me that i have to switch their already sipped beer to their preferred brand, at no charge.

postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 01:11 AM

they start to puzzle out that they're not going to get anywhere with this argument when i start laughing. i tell them that it's their own fault that they wound up drinking the wrong beer, and that the next time they want to get better service, they can be polite, say please and thank you, and not interrupt the bartender.



"i want to speak to your manager."



"that's nice. it's good to have goals."



"you're being very rude."



"and you're an Emerson who deserves it. next time you treat someone like Shakespeare, i hope they beat some sense into you."



"we drove up here all the way from philadelphia and we've gotten nothing but attitude from the moment we arrived in toronto. we're never coming here again."



"good. we don't want you back. the next time you go anywhere, don't be so Frost-ing rude to people. say please and thank you, and remember that you tip servers. i've been to philadelphia, and if i acted there like you have here, i'd have been thrown out of the bar by now. now get the hell out of my bar and go back to your sad lives."



philadelphians exeunt.



fin.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
04/15/2002 01:12 AM

Miss Manners would be proud.







Hope you were tempted to belabour him about the head with a stout truncheon.

SalsaShark: Suburban Outfitter 6,518 11
04/15/2002 01:13 AM

standing ovation from the crowd. repeated shouts of "Bravo!" and "Encore!"



mayhem ensues.

Therlin 12,200 13
04/15/2002 01:22 AM

Very artsy. The Black and White was a nice touch.

socks, not sox 4,060 0
04/15/2002 01:29 AM

skin peeling off of his eyelids. wow

Sexhead, Grand Mistress Succubus 12,287 12
04/15/2002 01:38 AM

I hope that, should I still be working with "the public," that I can find a job where I can treat the people who walk through the door as they SHOULD be treated, and not how they THINK they should be treated.

In dealing with people, my hugest pet peeve is the "non-responder."

"How are you today?"

Nothing.

I usually just keep asking until they do respond.

They don't pay attention to what's going on. They never thank you, or acknowledge that you've been at all nice. They are always, without fail, the ones who then go to the manager and complain about crappy customer service.



Frost-ing tards.

1bigdork 7,825 12
04/15/2002 01:40 AM

postbear: kitten with a whip.





Mr. postbear, you might appreciate the following Nietzche quote:



Metaphysics is the science ... which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind ... but as if they were fundamental truths.

postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 01:45 AM

i've always liked "to make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task."

Sleestack 30,342 13
04/15/2002 01:52 AM

Yeah, but...



"How are you today?"



"Are you, a complete stranger, really that concerned with my cuurent disposition, or are you just trying to fill a conversational void in our customer-vendor exchange with meaningless small talk?"



"The latter."



"Oh. I'm fine. How are you?"

Declan McManus 131,867 36
04/15/2002 01:55 AM

When a store employee or someone else paid tobe civil asks me "how are you?" I have been know to say "Do you want to know?" and if they have the reare courage to say "not really," I say "Thank you".

postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 02:02 AM

it's more than just small talk.



i ask people questions to elicit a response of more than just a monosyllabic grunt. why? in order to determine whether or not they are drunk, sometimes, and also to determine how comfortable they are in my bar. we get a lot of guys wandering in who really ought to be slowly turning to dust in a fern bar somewhere. if i can make them feel at ease, i do. they tend to buy more drinks and tip better when they are welcomed or made to feel a little more comfortable.

1bigdork 7,825 12
04/15/2002 02:04 AM

The fact that basic manners are considered to be anachronistic, convinces me that civility and society are in a state of decay.



Manners are the social lubricant that make an increasingly urban existance bearable. Interacting positively with another person makes it more likely that they are nice to the next person that they talk to. The cycle can be virtuous or viscious. I see it all the time on GAB.



I find manners to be a more telling indicator of the strength of a city/culture/society than any other index.

socks, not sox 4,060 0
04/15/2002 02:17 AM

yeah, what he said.

Therlin 12,200 13
04/15/2002 02:18 AM

I poke mean people with a stick.

Brookie. Just Brookie. 0 0
04/15/2002 02:35 AM

Postie, dear, you must teach me how to be like you when dealing with rude people. I got a total bitch today who didn't seem to realize that not having Pepsi is not the end of the world.

"The Pepsi is waaaatery!" she whined to me.

"Oh, I'm so sorry about that. Would you like me to go in the back and get you some from there?"

"Well, YEAH!" Shakes her head with her mouth open in a sort of, "Duh, are you braindead or something?" manner. I limp back (my hip still feels like it's broken) to discover that the Pepsi is watery there, too.

"I'm sorry. It looks like we're out of Pepsi today."

She shot me a look of disgust. "But that's what I want. I want Pepsi." She looked at me expectantly.

"But we're all out. Would you like another beverage?"

"I. Want. Pepsi."

At this point I wanted to leap over the counter and scream in her face, "Well, what do you want me to DO? Snap my fingers and make some Pepsi magically appear? Go to the store and buy you some? Look, you could be dead right now. Your family could be trapped in a burning building. You could be walking around on a dislocated hip making chicken for whiny customers for ten hours straight with no breaks at minimum wage! So quit whining about Pepsi and get something else!" Instead, I gave her my very best winning, shiny smile, and said, "I'm sorry, ma'am [extra emphasis on that particular word], we don't have any Pepsi." A calculated look at her physique. "We do, however, have Diet."

She just grumbled and walked off.

postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 04:04 AM

i just reread my last post. i can't believe i wrote "if i can make them feel at ease, i do." and you people let me away with it.



yeah, that's me. let me make you feel more at ease....

Wako, succubus training dummy 12,056 12
04/15/2002 04:18 AM

One of my favorite parts of working security for a major concert venue is that not only do I not have to take Shakespeare from anyone, I have the right to physically drag out anyone for any reason.



"excuse me, sir, you aren't allowed to sit there."



"I payed 30 Frost-ing dollars to come here, i'll sit where i want...hey, what the Frost, lemme go"



"Sorry, no re-entry"

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
04/15/2002 04:39 AM

> "Sorry, no re-entry"



Oh, that line is good to use in soo many places.......

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 09:59 AM

The first rule in not being rude is not being rude to people who are rude to your first.



You were just as big an Emerson as they were.

shoelace414 10,080 13
04/15/2002 10:09 AM

They don't pay attention to what's going on. They never thank you, or acknowledge that you've been at all nice



maybe they're deaf, and you are just that fact back in their faces.



<jar-jar>

how wude!

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 10:11 AM

People that drink Miller Lite (and complain about being denied Coors Light) deserve to be treated with pity, not scorn.

EvilPanda 4,807 13
04/15/2002 10:59 AM

No, they deserved to be lined up and shot.

My husband is gay 1,194 12
04/15/2002 12:13 PM

I had a party of six wander into MY bar on Friday night, boisterous and loud, when I told them the kitchen was closed (it was 1AM for chrissakes) and that I could get them some drinks and some yummy salsa but nothing else, the bitch in the crowd started yelling at me like it was my fault the kitchen was closed, f'ing me this and f'ing MY bar that, her friends tried to tell her to shut up, but the drunken bitch just kept on screaming at me.



I finally held up my hand and told her "Miss the suggestion box is at the end of the bar, it's beige and it has a plastic bag in it"

"Now guys get her the Frost out of here, before I call the cops. You are disrupting my customers"

A loud laugh ensued, from the rest of my patrons.



I feel your pain.

My husband is gay 1,194 12
04/15/2002 12:14 PM

fresh corn chips and yummy salsa, I meant

Giblet McNugget of the Clan McNugget 12,005 12
04/15/2002 12:24 PM

Did you mean the trash can?

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
04/15/2002 12:29 PM

"i want to speak to your manager."



"that's nice. it's good to have goals."



Have I told you lately that you're my hero, postbear?



Please don't judge all Americans by these knuckleheads. Some of us are polite, tip well, and drink *good* beer.

postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 12:33 PM

nice try, squeamish.



they had several opportunities to be civil, and blew every one of them. interrupting me while i was explaining to them that they had been interrupting me was the last straw.



at that point, they had shown themselves to be Emersons, and that's exactly how they were treated. i could have been much ruder to them and still been a thousand times more polite than they were.

Spool Pigeon 2,859 12
04/15/2002 12:35 PM

The first rule in not being rude is not being rude to people who are rude to your first.



You were just as big an Emerson as they were.



That's right. Two wrongs don't make a right. But three rights make a left.



</Steven Wright>

postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 12:36 PM

you'll notice that i didn't call them stupid americans, nutbuster. i know lots of very pleasant ones. these were Emersons.



my boss was about fifteen feet away the whole time, smoking a cigarette. another customer and i had to repeat the goals line to him, because he didn't hear it.

Her Holyness The Lady Trixxie LeFlambe Bedet 65,021 15
04/15/2002 12:39 PM

Weird - I lived in the City of Brotherly Love for about 6 months in the mid 80s and found them to be amoung the kindest, politest people you'd want to meet. Don't judge the whole city by a couple of Emersons.

Spool Pigeon 2,859 12
04/15/2002 12:40 PM

Heh. That amuses me to no end, postbear. You are my hero for this week.



Sorry Feeble.

Dr. Joseph Richard, GYN 882 12
04/15/2002 12:42 PM

C'mon! These people are from Philly. These people boo safe landings at the airport, for chrissakes!



I was there once to see an ECW show, and I've never been both so scared for my life and so disgusted by the people around me as that night.



These guys could have written for Miss Manners compared to some of the Philly Coleridges I've met.



And I was once lost in East Harlem at 2 AM on a Saturday with $20K worth of computer equipment in the backseat of my car. Screw Nam, that was the real thing.

Spool Pigeon 2,859 12
04/15/2002 12:43 PM

These guys could have written for Miss Manners compared to some of the Philly Coleridges I've met.



I like it when supposedly straight guys brag about the Coleridges they meet.

Sleestack 30,342 13
04/15/2002 12:44 PM

East Harlem's in Philly?

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 12:52 PM

In HS my friend and I once got directions from a girl that included 4 right turns in a row.



"You know that's a circle, right?"



"That's the way I've always gone."

dinesh 24,862 16
04/15/2002 01:01 PM

in philly, you sometimes need to do that to get onto the walt whitman or the schyukill.



well, as with all things, there are some great philly folks, and some pricks. as a rule, the pricks all go to eagles games. these are the guys who throw batteries at opposing teams, refs, security guards, each other... they have mobile courtrooms set up at the stadium!

1bigdork 7,825 12
04/15/2002 01:39 PM

I'm sorry, ma'am [extra emphasis on that particular word]



It looks like our young Brookie has learned the euphamism for "Bitch"

Spool Pigeon 2,859 12
04/15/2002 01:45 PM

In HS my friend and I once got directions from a girl that included 4 right turns in a row.



"You know that's a circle, right?"



"That's the way I've always gone."





I always thought it was the scenic route.

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 03:37 PM

My hugest pet peeve regarding courtesy:



When I commute 132 miles each way on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the way I usually find my dinner is via drive-through. With the remarkable exception of In-N-Out Burger, which pays their staff $9.00/hour, I get horrible service no matter where I go. I almost never hear a "please" or "thank you." Typically they don't even say a word to me when I'm picking up my food. And a "manager" will often be right behind them, oblivious. I may as well be ordering from a vending machine.



Oh, and bravo for telling them off, postie. I've been in a similar situation many times as a waitress.

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 03:38 PM

in philly, you sometimes need to do that to get onto the walt whitman or the schyukill



At the Miami Airport, you have to do that to return a rental car.

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 03:39 PM

A vending machine would not only be cleaner and more efficient, it would likely smell better and be less likely to spit in your food.

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 03:39 PM

In Shreveport, you only do it if you're aa idiot or that girl.

postbear 10,158 13
04/15/2002 03:43 PM

we don't sell food, lardass.

shoelace414 10,080 13
04/15/2002 03:43 PM

woo.. free food!

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 03:44 PM

Maybe not, but the drive-through restaurants Candie and I were talking about do.

dinesh 24,862 16
04/15/2002 03:49 PM

at the miami airport, it's because even cars need to pirouette and strut their stuff

Dr. Joseph Richard, GYN 882 12
04/15/2002 03:51 PM

Who said I was straight, Spool?



I might just be in the closet and overcompensating out of fear of rejection. Classic Don Juan syndrome.



Like I'd tell you Frosters.

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 03:51 PM

In Shreveport, you only do it if you're aa idiot or that girl.



I take it you don't have any one-way streets.

1bigdork 7,825 12
04/15/2002 03:54 PM

My ego was bruised and battered

That gay bartender he did yell

That I should go to hell.

I saw my reflection in the door as I got tossed out of that place

Oh brother, he told that I had to get the Frost away,

To the streets of Philadelphia.

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 03:56 PM

>I take it you don't have any one-way streets.



Hardly anywhere exept downtown, where this was not.



Even if you do, when would you ever need to take 4 rights in a row? That just sends you back to where you started.



I guess if you're on a 1 way street and you've passed the place you need to be, maybe.

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 04:00 PM

Even if you do, when would you ever need to take 4 rights in a row?



Sacramento has some lovely spots where there are not only one-way streets in every direction, but there's suddenly a building in the middle of the block, or the traffic nazis have put up a barricade. Something like right-right-go two blocks down-right-right.



The bit with the Miami Airport involves overpasses.

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 04:19 PM

>right-right-go two blocks down-right-right



Wouldn't that be the same as just going straight, but you end up 2 block behind where you first turned?

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 04:23 PM

But sometimes you have to because of barricades.

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 04:25 PM

If your destination os 2 blocks behind you, why didn't you stop there in the first place?

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 04:27 PM

Shut up, Squeamish. You'll see if you ever come to Sacramento.

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 04:28 PM

Draw me a picture or sign onto ICQ or Yahoo

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 04:29 PM

I'm not interested in continuing this.

Mr.Spastic 124 11
04/15/2002 04:29 PM

I lost you at "bud light"

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 04:32 PM

I;m not rying to be argumentative just for the sake of being argumentative (strange, but true).



I'm just interested to know how streets could be set up to require 4 right turns. I can't seem to picture it and was hoping you could show me.

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 04:38 PM

Turn left because a building is in your way, go one block, turn right, go one block, turn right, go the equivalent of two blocks, turn right, go one block, turn right. All are one-way streets and there is a barricade making it a pain for you to start out one more block to the right.

Destination: Candie Kohrne 8,640 15
04/15/2002 04:38 PM

Not saying another word on it.

EvilPanda 4,807 13
04/15/2002 04:40 PM

Um, Candie's right on this one. I can think of two areas in Chicago that you would have to make 3 right turns in a row to get to.



One way streets are fun, and confuse the hell out of tourists.

dinesh 24,862 16
04/15/2002 04:40 PM

what if i offered to double your investment income for the year. could i entice you to say another word then?

1bigdork 7,825 12
04/15/2002 04:45 PM

Shreveport, LA (AP) -- A local man was found dead in his car today. Apparently, he refused to believe that he could exit the Main Street Parking Garage by making only right turns and chose, instead, to perish.



The eulogy will be given by the Rev. Jesse Jackson.

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/15/2002 04:45 PM

3 right turns, yes, but 4?



No left turns, just right ones.



Also, the girl I was taslking about had these directions in the middle of her overall directions, where most examples I could imagine would involve your destination being on the same block as the last right turn.



I guess it's possible of you have lots of one-way streets that dead end into other one way streets, but I can't imagine a setup where 4 right turns would be necessary to get somewhere.

Cap'n Stuby 17,826 13
04/15/2002 04:48 PM

If those people were REALLY from Philly, they'd have come back and shot you for that.



They must have been white trash from the inner city.

Giblet McNugget of the Clan McNugget 12,005 12
04/15/2002 04:52 PM

Imagine a spiral. It can be done.

dinesh 24,862 16
04/15/2002 04:58 PM

yes, a change in z coordinates could make it a required parameter.



/nerd

Dr. Joseph Richard, GYN 882 12
04/15/2002 05:17 PM

You forgot to use the hard brackets, (<>) so you're technically still a nerd.



Put down that calculator and leave that poor woman alone.

Barking Pumpkin 19,242 12
04/15/2002 06:22 PM

The fact that he's referencing "z coordinates" establishes that fact, Joe.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
04/15/2002 09:01 PM

And you people thought me "passive agressive" for whooting at someone who called my coworker a "trained simian".



Fickle crowd.

Only 96% as Feeble 32,400 15
04/16/2002 12:00 AM

Applauds postbear



Let me list the errors of their ways:



1) You don't interrupt.

2) You say please and thank you.

3) When visiting someplace, you don't tell the locals how inferior it is.

4) You tip wait help, unless you're in some godforsaken hole like Singapore where it's illegal.



And I probably missed some of them.



It's just a pity you couldn't have distracted them for long enough for a co-worker to let the air out of their tires; then, you could have refused to let them back in the bar to use the phone...

My husband is gay 1,194 12
04/16/2002 02:25 AM

This may be hours late, but I agree with Candy on the Miami airport thing.



My ya mee has somehow managed to become the MOST user unfriendly r airport in the country, if not in the world. I've seen better organized chinese fire drills.



Not only was the airport designed by non english speaking buttmunchs, it is run by some petty cuban dictator at most times.



Corruption and connections won't get you to-or through-My ya mee airport any faster than your Grandma in a walker could.



Oy yeah, you have to manage the maze before the street signs make any sense before you even get there.



Welcon too My ya mee- Dade Erhpor, ju on jur on naw, meng.