le goddamned journal
A comedy conversation
by postbear  10,158  13
04/16/2002 06:30 AM 228 views
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we're making a humourless version of zug that you'll be able to access should your seventh day adventist grandmother be reading over your shoulder. we're doing this in response to the hundreds of requests we receive every day that say, "for the love of god, let us read something lamer than the i-wanna-be-peter-pan guy's website!"
we're developing some new content for this exciting new venture, and we need your help. this week, we're holding a contest to develop unfunny stuff in three categories: art linkletter would be proud, wilder than cosby, and my minister sometimes tells jokes. i'll explain each of these in turn.
art linkletter would be proud: this will be a parody of those silly little television reports that let kids explain the world, but we'll have adults playing the parts of children. and if they don't behave, we'll post their IPs so the thousands of people who read our, sorry, your material can know exactly who they are." click here to submit your entry.
wilder than cosby: we all know the cos' is a brilliant family comedian. that's why we will present wilder than cosby, which is the same old crap bill's been pushing on us for years, but repackaged by the marketing team we bought with your donated dollars. we need you to make us seem funny. again." click here to submit your entry.
my minister sometimes tells jokes: it's simple: write a joke your grandma could recommend to your pastor. keep it clean, please (talk about depressing instructions), by which I mean no swearing. click here to submit your entry.
we'll award a sweater donated by fred rogers to the entry in each category we think is funniest. your submissions become the property of media shower, inc., (a division of hallmark) and will be used in our new wireless version of zug's last gasp ... but hey, free sweater.
good luck! we'll need it!
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
14 votes
5.0
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0 votes
0.0
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jellytot 3,504  11
04/16/2002 06:39 AM
Is this the same Hallmark who's exectuitve receive blowjobs from strangers on charter flights?
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0 votes
0.0
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My husband is gay 1,194 12
04/16/2002 08:43 AM
I'm sorry, I can't do Shakespeare without swearing
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Alienyst 2,371 12
04/16/2002 10:02 AM
nice job PB!
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0 votes
0.0
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Feeble the Banalometer 32,400 15
04/16/2002 10:14 AM
Sigh
Someone's a little bitter this morning. Put some cream in your coffe, PB.
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0 votes
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Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
04/16/2002 11:55 AM
And yet you still choose to return here.
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0 votes
0.0
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postbear 10,158 13
04/16/2002 02:03 PM
thanks, alienyst. and, obviously, several others.
feeble, nutbuster: postbear is bitter. andrew, the guy sitting in front of the computer at the IP shown, is not. i'm making a comment here. if you don't like the comment, report me for abuse.
these changes are retarded. i can see my gab time dwindling to nothing very soon.
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0 votes
0.0
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Bonky 75,728 15
04/16/2002 02:07 PM
Dang! I already have seventeen sweaters so if the prize changes to a nice cardigan, I'm so there!
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0 votes
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Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
04/16/2002 02:08 PM
If you look into the "petition to make the swearbot" optional thread, you'll find my real name signed up to return the swearbot to optional status.
Feeble was pulling postbear's chain.
Which is probably shoved up his ... no, musn't trigger the swearbot!
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0 votes
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postbear 10,158 13
04/16/2002 02:10 PM
assh0le, feeble.
that's the w0rd you were l00king f0r.
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0 votes
0.0
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Bonky 75,728 15
04/16/2002 02:11 PM
Poopchute.
Puckered Star.
Anal roller coaster.
Pooper.
Doppleganal.
Brown eyed cave-dweller.
Lube container.
Gravy boat.
Anus.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
04/16/2002 02:12 PM
No, just ass. Which, actually, I don't think triggers the swearbot.
Now, when I suggest that by pulling on the chain I can pull your Coleridge backwards so that you have to back up to a urinal - THAT will trigger the bot.
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0 votes
0.0
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Bonky 75,728 15
04/16/2002 02:13 PM
The ballColeridge in my toilet got stuck yesterday. No water would drain into the bowl. It was very upsetting.
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0 votes
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Only 97% as Feeble 32,400 15
04/16/2002 02:15 PM
I'm sure Squeamish would beg to differ.
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0 votes
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Bonky 75,728 15
04/16/2002 02:16 PM
There was no poop. Just some tee tee.
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