+15Chickens, organ donor 238,110 14
04/18/2002 08:41 PM

You're all alone butternuts.

Squeamish 38,184 11
04/18/2002 08:41 PM

I was cool when I was younger.



Any geek stories I have will have to be within the last few years.



I did once hit my drama teacher in the nuts with a bat, though. I also got suspended for "indecent behavior" for dangling my testicle over my belt in 10th grade english.

Crickette 2,472 10
04/18/2002 08:46 PM

Is anyone keeping count of how many times the testicle story comes up?

+15Chickens, organ donor 238,110 14
04/18/2002 08:47 PM

Retraction: I've got one.



I was dating this hottie greek girl when I was right out of college. Somewhere along the way, we got a little too close (ok, I said the "L" word, but it was at the height of passion), it scared her, and she kind of evaporated. Not returning my calls, etc.



I was walking through downtown Chapel Hill, NC with my buddies on a Saturday night about a month later (they all knew I had been dating her) and she passed us on the street with a guy and a couple of other girls.



I said, "Hey Annie!" and stopped as if to talk. She sez, "hey" and keeps right on going as if we had just been causal aquaintances.



My pals felt is was their duty to hoot at the moon and ride my ass for the rest of the night.

Merkin 9,981 10
04/18/2002 08:47 PM

I ran track and cross country all through high school. If you don't know runners, we're a strange breed, especially during race time.



Well, I was in Pys Ed one day, and we had to take a few laps. As I ran, I kinda forgot that I wasn't with my teammates, but in fact with the regular p.e. class. So I let loose with this great ripper - cause that's what runners do during a race.. Completely forgot myself.



I just so happened to be directly in front of the two hottest girls in school. Joy. Major embarrassment.



Oh, well. They grew up to be worthless whores.

Professor Nutbutter 150,834 14
04/18/2002 08:47 PM

5, by my count.



He's beat out Ford with his "did I ever tell you about the time dad left mom at the gas station?" story.

Squeamish 38,184 11
04/18/2002 08:49 PM

It's my only proud moment.



I even have it on my resume.

+15Chickens, organ donor 238,110 14
04/18/2002 08:54 PM

Have you ever posted a picture?

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 179 9
04/18/2002 09:08 PM

A few years ago I was at a bar with a few friends of mine. Towards the back there was a buffet set up where you could make sandwiches and such. So my friends and I are all excited and get a few drinks and fill up our plates.



The second time I'm up there a girl comes up to me and asks if I'm enjoying the food. I tell her it's great and I wish more places offered free food. She then tells me it's not free food, it's for her birthday party.



I put the cheese back and left.

Stinky 7,952 10
04/18/2002 09:12 PM

I stepped in poop, once...with my face.

+15Chickens, organ donor 238,110 14
04/18/2002 09:53 PM

Ohh, another. I was in Georgetown for New Years Eve to party with my buds. We were in a bar at around dusk throwing back the first rounds. A really nice looking girl comes in and goes over to a pay phone by the door.



I wanna get a better look at her so I do my best stud walk across the floor, past her and into the bathroom. I do my business, and come out to again find my buddies laughing out loud at me. I turn around and see the girl leaving the bar.



Then I see that I had just come out of the ladies room.

Squeamish 38,184 11
04/18/2002 10:14 PM

You were right, Nutbutter, this one was number 5.



Was that a lucky guess or are you geeky enough to check it with "Search" like I did?

Professor Nutbutter 150,834 14
04/18/2002 10:14 PM

Neither.



I just remember stuff.

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,172 10
04/18/2002 10:18 PM

> They grew up to be worthless whores.



Even more reason to hate yourself. You probably blew your only chance to get an easy blow.

Merkin 9,981 10
04/18/2002 10:21 PM

"You probably blew your only chance to get an easy blow."



They were the kind of bitches who would offer up a blumpkin.

Professor Nutbutter 150,834 14
04/18/2002 10:22 PM

Maybe I'll have another geek story to tell after I do this, but I have to:



Um... a blumpkin?

Cap'n Stuby, Frothy Walrus Salesman 17,826 11
04/18/2002 10:22 PM

Once I was smart and stuff and then I found some kind of website with a message board and I poseted on it a lot and now I'm a damned moron.





I am humiliated when people look at me.

Squeamish 38,184 11
04/18/2002 10:23 PM

It's kind of like a croissant.

Merkin 9,981 10
04/18/2002 10:24 PM

receiving oral sex whilst going #2

Rich (The Compass) 641 10
04/18/2002 10:25 PM

I was once vorwarded this list at vork.

Merkin 9,981 10
04/18/2002 10:25 PM

"receiving oral sex whilst going #2"



That line would have been phenomenal in the "Reverse GAB Thread."

Rich (The Compass) 641 10
04/18/2002 10:26 PM

Also, from "navymoms.org" :

Blumpkin - Anything done to a newbie while he is on the throne in the head.

Rich (The Compass) 641 10
04/18/2002 10:28 PM

<a href="">the navymoms list</a> is really pretty funny.



"Snowballing - Being forced to drink milk from a glass, spit it back into the glass and drink it again."



Damn, Miyu is just doing it wrong then.

Rich (The Compass) 641 10
04/18/2002 10:28 PM

oh breed

Captain Skippy 41,131 11
04/18/2002 10:30 PM

I'm completely oblivious to people trying to hit on me or pick me up until after the fact.



I missed out on 2 opportunities to have 3 somes because I just didn't clue in to the fact that the girls were flirting with me. I was kindly informed of the missed opportunitys later.



Had a nice conversation with a guy in a coffee house once while waiting for my wife. Only to later realize that it was "interacial homosexual" night there when my wife pointed it out to me in a flier at the window.



I wondered why he kept commenting on my red hair and asking me if I was Irish...

Professor Nutbutter 150,834 14
04/18/2002 10:34 PM

What a crappy list. They didn't include The Rusty Trumbone.

Sleestack 30,330 11
04/18/2002 10:59 PM

There was one time that I was caught putting on clown makeup.



Last week sucked.

+15Chickens, organ donor 238,110 14
04/19/2002 12:13 AM

Rich, I wish I could completely fill your pee tube. That list had me crying, and my secretary wants to know what's so funny. There is no way I can tell her.

Rich (The Compass) 641 10
04/19/2002 12:26 AM

My personal favorite is "Dog in a Bathtub."

Only 97% as Feeble 32,188 10
04/19/2002 12:31 AM

Did a nice dive off the high dive. Swimsuits weren't on tight enough. They stayed at the top of the pool, I went to the bottom, someone else got to them before me.



Someone who thought teasing me was fun.