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After Hypnotising a friend of mine, i was driving home from the beach around 3, going 75 in a 55.
So a pair of sherriff's catch me and the officer comes up and tells me that he caught me going 98.
I argued this, and he confirmed it was in fact 82. I still knew this was high, and was talking to him when he suddenly asks how much I had to drink. I told him the truth, that I hadn't had anything in 3 hours and was completely sober now. So he tells me that I'm underage (19), and I agreed, but most bars let army guys drink anyway.
Well, he pulls me out to test me, but I guess he could tell that i really was sober, and tells me that he could give me a dui since I'm underage, but is only going to give me the ticket.
Again i began to protest the speed, whenand he starts telling me my options about court, etc
I again start to talk and he tells me again.
Then I say, but there's no way I can protest that, I leave to go back to Kosovo in 3 days.
He asks, and I explain that i was shot by extremists while escorting schoolchildren in a serb city. The only reason I'm home is on medical leave.
Now he wants proof. So i dropped my pants and showed him two large circular scars from spider bites I got at Ft Benning last year on my left thigh.
He tore up the ticket and drove off.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
12 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461990
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461991
Declan McManus 131,867  36
04/22/2002 01:51 AM
Well done.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461992
Sleestack 30,342 13
04/22/2002 01:52 AM
CAMEL SPIDERS! FLEE!!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461993
Viscous 595 12
04/22/2002 01:52 AM
You're going to have to suck greasy demon Coleridge for LYING about something as sacred as PROTECTING YOUR COUNTRY!
Heh, just kidding. Right on!
That's better than the whole crying gig! Can I use that next time?
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461994
Sexhead, Grand Mistress Succubus 12,287 12
04/22/2002 01:52 AM
Stick it to piggy!
You can hypnotize, and fool a cop. You're my hero...
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461995
that darn sock 4,060 0
04/22/2002 01:54 AM
damn those serbian spiders.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461996
Sleestack 30,342 13
04/22/2002 01:54 AM
You lied.
Sinner.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=461997
Wako, workin hard, hardly workin 12,056 12
04/22/2002 01:55 AM
yeah, like five minutes later i'm driving in my car shouting at the top of my voice.
HELL YEA!!!!
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=461998
Wako, workin hard, hardly workin 12,056 12
04/22/2002 01:56 AM
And you're on, viscous.
I must hypnotise and bed you when i arrive.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=461999
Alienyst 2,371 12
04/22/2002 01:57 AM
I was watching this movie on spiders not long ago. They can be nasty. They showed this one guy who had been bitten and like three months later the skin on his back was literally falling off.
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Side-splitting
13 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=462006
1bigdork 7,825 12
04/22/2002 02:09 AM
There is no better feeling that beating a ticket that you deserved. It corrects the karmic imbalanced caused by times that you got hosed.
That said, I'm convinced that you omitted something in your story between you dropping your tousers and him tearing up the ticket.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=462074
Wako, workin hard, hardly workin 12,056 12
04/22/2002 03:24 AM
You can hypnotize, and fool a cop. You're my hero...
Actually, i made you want to think that.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=462081
+15Chickens, organ donor 286,208 61
04/22/2002 04:48 AM
Dork, best post in a long while.
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