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Impartial News For the Impotent
Scores Arrested in Airport Security Investigation: Foreigners have stolen more jobs from hard working Americans. Many of whom are in this country illegally. Those arrested included janitors, food workers and baggage handlers. I for one am outraged at the lax security in our nations airports. Why the last time I flew I was forced to sit next to an Oriental fellow. Hopefully this will signal to the Justice Department that we Americans want them to broaden this investigation of illegals to include lettuce pickers, Denny's Busboys and Au Pairs.
Catholics Welcome Papal Statement: Catholics took a breath of fresh air for the first time in weeks, today, as Pope John Paul II released a statement condemning pedophilia as an abomination and a sin. Since this statement, all molestation has ceased. Next on the popes list is a blanket condemnation of murder and genocide. "He's an isolated man who, I think, is isolated from the general public. Now he's not any longer," said Betty Herron, a 72-year-old Catholic from outside Boston. The popes condemnation was written by someone else and released to the press by the Vatican's Press Secretary.
Argentine Econ Minister Quits as Bank Plan Falters: Economy Minister Jorge Remes Lenicov resigned today due to the failure of his "Take-All-The-Money-Out-Of -The-Banks-And-Give-Them-Fake-Money-Instead" plan. This came as a shock to no one with any background in economics, except the Minister and his retarded half-brother Philipe.
Hermit Convicted in Clinic Killing: Peter James Knight, 48, was convicted of murder Tuesday for Australia's first fatal shooting in an abortion clinic. Knight's defense, that his gun accidentally discharged when he entered the clinic, was torn to pieces by the prosecuter who showed the jury that among other things Knight is neither pregnant nor a woman. Knight also had trouble explaining why he had not only the rifle but 14 rounds of ammunation, a jug of Kerosene and gags. Knight's lawyers have been widely critized for not employing the "Mad Max" defense.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
11 votes
5.0
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0 votes
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1bigdork 7,825  12
04/23/2002 08:34 PM
This could be your best schtick yet, Mr. Moon.
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0 votes
0.0
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Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
04/23/2002 08:39 PM
hehehe ... This is why Moon is one of my favs.
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0 votes
0.0
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Feeble the Banalometer 32,400 15
04/23/2002 08:40 PM
I grant thee clickies!
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0 votes
0.0
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Mike Moon Superfreak! 4,366 14
04/23/2002 08:43 PM
My favorite is the first one. I find it ironic because I have my greencard (its actually beige with a crapload of holograms on it).
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0 votes
0.0
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1bigdork 7,825 12
04/23/2002 08:45 PM
See Feeble? First you provide the story, then you offer a take on it.
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0 votes
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Mike Moon Superfreak! 4,366 14
04/23/2002 08:50 PM
This guy has Masterblaster written all over him
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0 votes
0.0
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salvage: Interweb Surfer Extreme 28,986 12
12/05/2002 01:46 PM
Okay here's the thing... I know not why everyone hates Moon so but this is freaking funny.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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salvage: Interweb Surfer Extreme 28,986 12
12/05/2002 01:50 PM
Oh. I'd ask but I suspect it would be a can of worms kind of deal. I will search Gab and like an anthropologist I will seek out the answers in the dusty clues.
Then I will publish a report entitled.
Moon Struck: The Fall of Mike
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0 votes
0.0
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Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
12/05/2002 01:53 PM
Mike Moon was the funniest gabber ever. I would have gay butt sex with him in a second, the way Dead Robot did.
Seriously, I miss the little freak. Anyone that Feeble feels the need to pray for nightly is OK in my book.
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0 votes
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Sleestack 30,342 13
12/05/2002 01:56 PM
Mike Moon once posted to me "I was here when GAB first went online. I'll be here when GAB finally switches off the web server."
Powerful words indeed.
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0 votes
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Hyperspaz the beer please? 3,290 11
12/05/2002 02:04 PM
There was nothig special about that post. If just anyone posted what he did, it would have meant nothing. You people are a bunch of sheep.
Shut Up Moon! Go back to your little crappy house of buggy code!
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0 votes
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amymtn 662 10
12/05/2002 05:00 PM
Jesus Frost-ing Christ, Spaz, could you be any more transparent? Is da widdle spazzie jeawus? I thought you were gone anyway. Thanks for ruining my Frost-ing day.
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0 votes
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Ford Prefect 5,475 13
12/05/2002 05:05 PM
Where do you live, amymtn?
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0 votes
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amymtn 662 10
12/05/2002 05:17 PM
Why's that, Ford? So you can fly yourself over to cure my bitchiness with your massive Coleridge?
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0 votes
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Ford Prefect 5,475 13
12/05/2002 05:18 PM
Why yes, as a matter of fact, that's the reason.
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