These kids today and their
A comedy article
by Merkin  10,008  13
06/12/2002 01:57 PM 224 views
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 I'm very troubled. Not because of terrorism, not because of finances, and not because of Kathie Lee Gifford. I am troubled because I turned on the radio the other day, and heard he song "Underneath Your Clothes" by the young pop phenom Shakira.
There are several things wrong with this whole situation. First, as a music major, this song causes me a tremendous amount of physical and emotional pain. One need not have perfect pitch or a background in music to recognize that Shakira doesn't appear to have any vocal training whatsoever. Through several excruciating listenings, I came to the conclusion that our poor young dear uses at least 6 distinct vocal timbres. It isn't "complex," and it isn't "deeply powerful;" it's simply terrible singing - especially for a ballad. Please focus on one style, stick with it, and sing your pretty song.
Next, the lyrics. Here's a small sampling of some words and chorus:
You're a song
Written by the hands of god
Don't get me wrong cause
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I find them
Underneath Your Clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
Does anyone else have a problem with Shakira singing songs like this to impressionable, preteen girls? Now, I have a very high tolerance for content like this, but if I had a 12-year old daughter and heard her listening to this, I'd have a coronary. Perhaps I'm interpreting this incorrectly - she does try to bring in "God" and speak of the human form as a work of spiritual art. But then she goes on to say that she "deserves" what's under "your clothes" because she's been "such a good girl." Ick.
Please don't get me wrong - Shakira is a fine looking girl (what the kids call a "POA"). But she's now fallen into the category of "to be seen not heard" along with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.
Please, Shakira. Don't talk. Just shake your booty and hop around to the Latin rhythms. Leave the singing to the singers, and the preaching to the preachers.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
9 votes
5.0
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7 Comments on "These kids today and their"
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0 votes
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Crickette 2,472  12
06/13/2002 10:13 AM
Good god, I hate that song. Her voice makes me want to drive my car off a bridge.
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0 votes
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dr froglord 9,243 13
06/13/2002 11:14 AM
Amen, brother Merkin. Preach on.
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0 votes
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Trae -I need a new tagline - submit your entry now 156,785 17
06/13/2002 11:31 AM
Merkin, my little aardvark. You have spoken true words of wisdom here my friend!
Everytime I hear the start of that song it makes me want to jump through the radio and kill her - not to mention myself.
Her vocal ability is attune with that of a dog in heat.
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Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
06/13/2002 01:19 PM
Yet another advantage of not having cable TV... I have no idea who this girl is.
I guess that's a good thing.
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The Lady Trixxie Super Liberal Environmentalist 65,021 15
06/13/2002 01:29 PM
I LOVE that song, I sing along with it and then keep it in my head and sing it the rest of the day.
You're a song
Written by the hands of god
Don't get me wrong cause
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I find them
Underneath Your Clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
For being such a good girl honey
For being such a good girl honey
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0 votes
0.0
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Merkin 10,008 13
06/13/2002 02:23 PM
Ah - looks like my original title caused some issues - it was supposed to be:
These kids today and their "Shakira"
I guess the double-quotes through the article parser for a loop. Oh, well.
Shakira still sucks. The world continues to turn.
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0 votes
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Merkin 10,008 13
06/13/2002 02:24 PM
threw/through, whatever
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