Chickens 286,208 61
07/10/2002 10:57 AM

you're Shakespeare-ing me.

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/10/2002 10:58 AM

Batman will kick that boy scout's ass.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/10/2002 10:59 AM

Actually, my son has a batman cartoon where they meet, and do fight over a woman. Superman is sort of stunned when Batman almost cold Coleridges him. Course then Mr. Faster than a speeding bullet puts a hurtin on the Bat.

Bonky 75,728 15
07/10/2002 11:00 AM

And then, Superman thought, "Hey, Why don't I just fly down and give Wonder Woman something to moan about?" So he flies down and attempts penetration and ends up sodomizing The Invisible Man.







These eggs are just wet!

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/10/2002 11:01 AM

The one I saw had Bats prepared for just such an eventuality. He'd built a robotic exoskeleton and synthesized a chunk of ultra-kryptonite.

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/10/2002 11:01 AM

If they are fighting over a woman, "faster than a speeding bullet" could be Superman's downfall.

AXEMAN 402 10
07/10/2002 11:02 AM

why would they fight? wouldnt they just share tips on how to fight crime and superhero costume chaffing?

Sexhead, Official Drink of the W.O.B.! 12,287 12
07/10/2002 11:03 AM

But... BUT!







Aren't they like on the Justice League together or something? Aren't they supposed to best buddies for ever and ever, amen?!

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/10/2002 11:05 AM

Not kidding, heard it on the radio this morning, and this page mentions it.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/10/2002 11:05 AM

<action> is reminded of the SNL skit where John Belushi as The Hulk comes out of the bathroom apologizing to the invisible girl for walking in on her.

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/10/2002 11:05 AM

My daughter picked up a graphic novel (tthhhhptttt!) where Batman had amassed files on all the Justice League. He had all their weaknesses recorded and had developed countermeasures in case they went rogue or something.

12,287 12
07/10/2002 11:05 AM

Superman or Green Batman, baby, got nothin on me...

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/10/2002 11:07 AM

I'm reasonably sure who will win that one.



The fatter one?

Sexhead, Official Drink of the W.O.B.! 12,287 12
07/10/2002 11:07 AM

Your daughter read graphic novels?!







Is she some kind of FREAK?!?!







*Surreptitiously hides Sandman collection.*

AXEMAN 402 10
07/10/2002 11:07 AM

actually batman is owned by DC comics and superman is owned by Marvel comics, so the fight would have to be brokered through agents,and i'm sure don king would somehow get involved, then Batman would end up taking a dive in the third...............this stuff is all fixed.

Sexhead, Official Drink of the W.O.B.! 12,287 12
07/10/2002 11:09 AM

"Read" should not, in my above post, be mistaken for "stick a tube of lipstick up my ass!"



However, you may mistake it for "reads"

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/10/2002 11:09 AM

I started her on that path with The Books of Magic.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 182 13
07/10/2002 11:10 AM

Superman is owned by DC. Batman has the only remaining piece of krypotonite and has kicked Supermans ass before.

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/10/2002 11:12 AM

See? He bad.

Trae 156,785 17
07/10/2002 11:16 AM

No. He bat.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/10/2002 11:22 AM

Mr. Donivan, it's "Superman or Green Lantern baby".



You should stop the drugs. You're forgetting your own lyrics.

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/10/2002 11:22 AM

Chickens, look up.



I think that's the joke, buddy.

12,287 12
07/10/2002 11:25 AM

See, yeah. This would be a thread about Superman and Batman, so I took me somma de arteestic license, and changed one of the words.

shoelace414 10,080 13
07/10/2002 11:35 AM

in the dark knight returns comic book, batman could have kicked supermans ass, but decided to let superman win.



but he did give him a black eye.

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/10/2002 11:36 AM

He let Supes win? What, did he have money on the guy?

Trae 156,785 17
07/10/2002 11:46 AM

He probably placed a bet with the Bookieman!

Bonky 75,728 15
07/10/2002 11:47 AM

The role of Bookieman will be played by Chaldron Urkel Hoodspinster.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
07/10/2002 11:52 AM

Superman hasn't been the same since he fell off that horse. Batman will kick his gimpy, can't-even-breath-on-his-own ass.

Disabuser 3,439 11
07/10/2002 02:08 PM

All I know is my man Wesley Willis has handed out beatings to both Batman AND Superman.



Rock over London, rock on Chicago.

The Lady (morally superior ) Trixxie 65,021 15
07/10/2002 02:41 PM

Everybody knows Batman's a closet homosexual, so Superman better watch out for he get an upclose and personal tour of the Bat Cave.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/10/2002 02:42 PM

Superman thought he was bad

He was messing with my girlfriend

I caught him in my room kissing her

I took a rubber hose and flogged his rump



What a wordsmith.

The Lady (morally superior ) Trixxie 65,021 15
07/10/2002 02:43 PM

btw, Batman and Superman were DC comics decades before there was a Marvel Co. Posier *flaunts superior comic book geekness*

shoelace414 10,080 13
07/10/2002 02:45 PM

Superman is one of the few DC superheros that have some type of innate super power. the bulk of DC superheros are regular people with something special that makes them superheros.



Marvel is just a bunch of mutants.

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/10/2002 02:46 PM

Just like in real life.



DC is like the white NBA players, Marvel is like the darkies.

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
07/10/2002 03:09 PM

Why are they making this movie?



I'm reasonably sure who will win that one.





Um, It's too hard to rig up a flying wheelchair for Christopher reeves?

Don Spudleone 323 13
07/10/2002 03:19 PM

I don't know why y'all are debating this anyway because Chewbacca will kill all there asses.



Or was it Worf?

Vlad Tepes: Jester of Darkness 19,599 12
07/10/2002 03:57 PM

In a full all out battle with resources at both men's disposal, Vlad would actually have to go with Batman. But it would have to be a dark Frank Miller type of Batman. A Batman that might be willing to take a life. Superman would never purposely take a life unless there was no other choice. But yeah, the old Green Lantern Hal Jordan would kick both their asses without working up a sweat. Jordan one issue knocked out Supes with one punch. And as clever as Batman is, he just can't beat someone with the power of imagination. But Batman against Superman, Vlad would have to go with brains against superpowers almost any day. Just look at how much crap Lex Luthor puts Superman through, when Luthor has no super powers at all. Just a big brain.