Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 11:17 AM

Last April you said, "I have a lot of friends." What? Do you think you're better than me? I have friends. Um, friend. But hey, this isn't about me. It's about you.



Listen, just because I'm not the most popular guy on GAB, and I have a severely limp right wrist, that doesn't mean I can't please you in bed! Wanna see my thingie? Whap.



Oh, and I'm not a stalker, if that's what you're thinking. I'm just one of the hundreds of males on this page, besides Moon, who likes to spend his time looking for miscellaneous facts about your personal life.



For instance, why is your favorite number 81? That is a very interesting tidbit. I've often thought of changing favorite numbers to be more like you, but I never do.



I have a strong enough will to be my own person. At least, that's what my therapist says.



My favorite number is seven, because it ate nine. Sorry, that's just a little joke my mom told me to use when I want to break the ice with a girl.



Maybe we could get together later in the year -- like, say, New Year's Eve. Hopefully you have unblocked yahoo by then and we'll be able to make palns. Mom says I can have a few friends over every year, but mostly it's just me and my He-Man action figures. Last year, we got all hopped up on coke, and I accidentally fell on Castle Grayskull.



One last thing, Trae. I wrote this poem for you. I hope you like it:



Trae, Trae, Trae,



I like to watch you play.



Do you wanna jump in the hay?



And Trae,



Even though you told me to go away,



I keep logging in every day --



...again and again again and again again and again again and again.



Sincerely,



Mookie

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 11:21 AM

Clickies for the falling on coke. Funny.





Trae, he's really getting creepy, you want I should make him not be able to type so much anymore?

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 11:26 AM

Holy Shakespeare, I thought I was obsessed. But my camping out in her trunk for 18 days straight doesn't even compare to this...

shoelace414 10,080 13
07/15/2002 11:30 AM

sounds like....







..Kenshin

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 11:31 AM

Dear Mookie,



While I appreciate your profound interest in me, your accuracy with my personal information does creep me out a bit. How do you know so much about me? I've surely veiled my real self quite well on GAB... or so I thought.



As far as the Yahoo thing, I kept getting a little freaked with it when I noticed that strange image that kept flashing across your webcam. What was that????



If you can promise to never show me that again, I might consider talking to you again.



I go to bed each night with terrifying visions of saurkraut and sausages and weird music in the backround. It's a horror that I don't wish to repeat.



I am willing to consider trading you a Transformer for one of your He Man action figures as a gesture of good will on New Years Eve.



Regards,



Trae

Jay Cornelius 411 13
07/15/2002 11:36 AM

His IP starts out with CES.



So this is what guys who won't leave the Consumer Electronics Show hang around and do.

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 11:42 AM

Ok, now I'm getting a little scared.

Bonky 75,728 15
07/15/2002 11:42 AM

What good's a beautiful day, if you can't see the light?

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 11:43 AM

A good night?

Bonky 75,728 15
07/15/2002 11:44 AM

Let your eyes lose their focus a little, let your guard come down . . .

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 182 13
07/15/2002 11:46 AM

This is like a David Lynch version of Griffin & Sabine.

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 11:48 AM

Dear Trae,



Sorry it took so long to write you back. I've been busy wallpapering you pictures to my bedroom walls. I can't even see the paint anymore.



Anyway mother tells me I should stopp talking to you. She gets upset when i call myself mr Trae. I thinks itxs just because she thinks I'm obseesed and you are going to break my heart, but I know you won't because I sent that list of addresses and phone numberes from all yor relatives to that man in chicago that does "favors" for a small fee.



Please unblock me. That wasn't what you thought when I showed you my webcam. That was a brand new cuddly kitten I adopted and named Trae. Trae isn't around anymore though because she scratched me and I threw her out the window, but you know how kittens are. The cat was too stupid to use the canopener to feed herself anyway and had to go anyway.



Transformers are for kids.



Sincerely,



Mookie

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 11:53 AM

Mookie,



I'm sorry but I just don't like you. You are too attached to your Mother and that is just not healthy. How can you do that to a poor helpless little kitten?



Name it Trae, I mean. That is just beyond reproach!! Now stop this strange obessive behavior and find a new fixation!



The meeting and proposed toy trade on New Years Eve has now been revoked!



Very seriously,

Trae

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 11:55 AM

Dear Trae,



I saw your new man today. You think he can protect you?



Just asking,



Mookie

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 11:57 AM

Trae, Trae!



I need you. Why don't you talk to me anymore? I'm sorry.



Sincerely,



Mookie

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 11:58 AM

Trae,



I've done a lot of thinking and I can't ake this anymore. Say something now, or....

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:00 PM

Trae,



You are a cold heartless bitch! How dare you invade my personal life and make me think you love me. Look at me. I've been hanging on your every work. Now it feels like I have a bag of ground glass in my chest with monkeys punching it every five seconds.





I hate you hate you hateyou!!!!

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:01 PM

Trae,



I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things I've said. ITs just so hard without you. I don't know what to doB Please talk to me.



Sincerely,



Mookie

Chickens 286,208 61
07/15/2002 12:02 PM

Why is Mookie sending me emails?

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 12:03 PM

I can still handle this Trae...

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 12:03 PM

<action>pulls out nutcracker

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 12:04 PM

Mookie, ok listen... I know you don't really mean all that you say. I will forgive you. Please, please stop with the emails ok?



When I told you I loved you, I didn't mean it that way. I meant it as a friend. I'm sorry if you took that to mean that well, there was hope for anything meaningful. After all, you are in Illinois, an I'm well.... you know where I am.



Lets just be friends, ok?



Love as friends,

Trae

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:07 PM

Dear Trae,



So you do love me after all. When should we plan the wedding for. Do you want to wear the dress or should I?





Mookie

Merkin 10,008 13
07/15/2002 12:08 PM

Mookie,



Is it okay with with you if Trae loves you, but Frosts me?



-Merkin

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:09 PM

Merkin die! Merkin die!!!

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 12:09 PM

Oh for cripes sake!!!!







How about you plan the wedding and I'll just show up.



Yeah. How's that????

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:13 PM

Dear Trae,



I think you are stringing me along unecessarily. I showed up to your workplace today and they said you don't work there anymore. I went to that restaurant I know you like to go to because I found the doggie bag in your garbage, and I saw you with another man. Don't lie to me, I know he is not your brother, because I followed you to his place and crawled to the bedroom window. Brother's tongues definately DO NOT belong there.



I'm not a very jeoluos man, but i think I'll have to kill him.



Sincerely,



Mookie

Chickens 286,208 61
07/15/2002 12:13 PM

Would someone please tell Mookie my name is NOT Guido and I don't break legs for a living!



Besides, $29 in Susan B Anthony silver dollars stolen from his mother's underwear drawer is not the going rate these days for even a single broken leg.

Merkin 10,008 13
07/15/2002 12:13 PM

Mookie, I thought you were in Germany.

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:16 PM

Psst, play along Merkin.

dr froglord 9,243 13
07/15/2002 12:16 PM

Mookie,

Are you getting the live feed from Trae's bedroom yet? I put the cameras where you wanted them but I had to rush the wiring because I heard her coming home with her "brother".

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 12:16 PM

Ok, that's it. I'm sorry that it has come to this, but Merkin..... tell him about us.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 12:16 PM

The only place we can be sure he isn't anymore is in Trae.

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:19 PM

<action> waits for Merkin's explanation.

9,243 13
07/15/2002 12:22 PM

I'm sorry Trae. This man here is about to bash my head into my nnpjzsgv;s

Merkin 10,008 13
07/15/2002 12:25 PM

Mookie -



Trae and I...well...two words: Sex Olympics. Yep. We've been bumpin' uglies for at least three or four years. Whenever, and wherever we can get it. I think the secret has been a lack of formality. I don't even know her last name. I'm not sure where she lives, and haven't a clue as to her real age, likes or dislikes. All I know is, roughly every other day, I get a text message on my cellphone: "need sx now" - so we meet at our usual place, go at for, I don't know, eight or nine hours, then go our separate ways. It's great.



Hope you don't mind.



-Merkin

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 12:29 PM

This is too much!!! I'm coming over right now. I have to show you exactly how I fell. Don't try to hise in the cupboard like last time I was in your house and you thought I didn't know that you were there.



Merkin, I will show you how I feel about you too. Be so kind as to attend so I don't have to hunt you like an animal.

Merkin 10,008 13
07/15/2002 12:31 PM

Mookie -



Trae and I are due for a romp this afternoon. Mind if we're wearing our usual outfits when you arrive? She's usually got the whole French maid thing going, and I'm usuallly "Miguel, the pool boy" complete with chair air and loin cloth.



-Merkin

Merkin 10,008 13
07/15/2002 12:31 PM

What the hell is "chair air"?



CHEST HAIR

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 12:37 PM

Merkin,



I would appreciate it if you kept just some of our stuff private! The guy already knows more then I wanted him too.



Just our luck he'll show up wearing a toga and bearing fresh grapes.



Merci boucoup,

Antoinette... er.... Trae

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 12:39 PM

See people, this is why I stick to masturbation.





No it has nothing to do with my not knowing any chicks in atlanta.

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 12:41 PM

Hey, we tried it Leppy, but you just didn't like wearing the maid outfit.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 12:43 PM

Well, it bunched dammit!

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 12:46 PM

Whoa! No response from Mookie on that one. He must either be lurking or really on his way over!







*runs to lock door*

*pulls shades*

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
07/15/2002 01:03 PM

This is just so beautiful!

Trae 156,785 17
07/15/2002 01:05 PM

Beautiful for who??



You're not the one hiding in the corner!

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 01:07 PM

*fires up video recorder*





There she is! In the corner!!



*pant pant drool drool*

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 01:07 PM

Strangely I find the image of you huddled in a corner in fear somewhat exciting...







Cause a lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying...

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 01:09 PM

Well, since Trae likes to lounge around the house all day in provocative lingerie, even the thought of her scrubbing the floors turns me on!!!!





Back in the trunk with me!!!

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/15/2002 08:20 PM

I'm so groggy, was I licking breasts again?

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 08:28 PM

<action>wishes he was groggy more often

Ded_Freex 2,863 12
07/15/2002 08:32 PM

<action>Gets robbed blind and enjoys every minute of it ! ! !

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/15/2002 08:42 PM

Mookie.





I am heartbroken, just heartbroken.





forsaking me for a woman.





you shall feel my wrath.













You haven't felt my wrath in some time, and it's lonely for your touch.













Declan

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/15/2002 09:42 PM

Best. Thread. Ever.

Trae 156,785 17
07/16/2002 09:44 AM

Anyone heard from that StormTrooper dude today? My phone kept ringing all night but they'de hang up when I answered. It sounded like they were calling from an airport.

Bonky 75,728 15
07/16/2002 09:56 AM

I gave him a ride from one airport (Bush International) to another (Hobby), but he wouldn't say where he was going.



He just kept mumbling something about cutting glass shards slice breasts lick lick . . . . or some Shakespeare.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/16/2002 10:03 AM

Mookie,

No, I won't "trade" for a full set of Episode One action figures. Not even if you do toss in the full set of Smurf juice clases.



Stop emailing me, loser.

Love,



Chickens

Trae 156,785 17
07/16/2002 10:11 AM

Don't tell him where I live Chickens! Us Southern people have to stick together!















Oh Crap!

Chickens 286,208 61
07/16/2002 10:12 AM

Why do you think he's emailing me. Three hours away could be handled during my lunch break.

Trae 156,785 17
07/16/2002 10:13 AM

Damnit Chickens!



Hush!

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/16/2002 11:16 AM

Trae - come to Denver. I'll hide you under my desk at work, and they'll never ever find you there!

Trae 156,785 17
07/16/2002 11:48 AM

they'll never ever find you there!







They?? They?? More then one?

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/16/2002 12:01 PM

Need someone to come over and watch things?





Like you in the shower?

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/16/2002 01:02 PM

Trae - you didn't know Mookie had allies? Poor, sweet, trusting thing. You'd better get under my desk, soon!

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/16/2002 01:02 PM

<action>Tells Mookie how to activate under-desk trapdoor.

Trae 156,785 17
07/21/2002 12:36 AM

I'm sorry to bring this up again, but I'm a little worried. Mookie hasn't posted on here since the 17th and in the last weird email I got it said.. "See you soon"...



I've been getting all these weird phone calls..... hang ups....



Any one heard from him?

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/21/2002 03:17 AM

yes.

Trae 156,785 17
07/21/2002 03:47 AM

Declan??



You're in Ohio right??? When did you hear from him?



How? Email? What did he say?

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/21/2002 03:59 AM

Yes, I am in Ohio.



Yes, I heard from him.



Yes, it was an email.





No, he swore me to secrecy.



No, he didn't say how he was getting there



No, I haven't heard since.

Trae 156,785 17
07/21/2002 04:04 AM

how he was getting there



What?????



Email me now!!

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/21/2002 04:13 AM

Make money now?





ask me how!





email?





wass is dis email?

sockk, der nacht 4,060 0
07/21/2002 04:18 AM

in just 4 days, you can add up to 11 inches to your penis. ask me how!

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/21/2002 08:16 PM

Redrum













and Vanilla Coke!

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/21/2002 08:18 PM

Mookie is heading towards Gablanta!

Barking Pumpkin 19,242 12
07/21/2002 08:18 PM

Funniest. Thread. Ever.

Trae 156,785 17
07/21/2002 08:29 PM

Oh yeah!



Really goddamn funny! It's not funny if you were in my shoes, I promise you!



I've had enough!



Mookie, you better hurry and post something soon!



C'mon.. stop it - you're freaking me out! The rest of you aren't helping!

286,208 61
07/21/2002 08:55 PM

Are the braves playing at home tonight? Turner Field seems lit up.

Trae 156,785 17
07/21/2002 09:48 PM

Oh figures now you decide to post!! Of all the times, you pick now. Are you serious about that email or just playing around?





Yes, call me when you get in town and hardee har har the 'furry porn' comment wasn't funny.

286,208 61
07/21/2002 09:52 PM

<action> loads gun

Mrs. Robinson 40 10
07/21/2002 09:57 PM

Yes, yes..Of all the times now..I have a talent of showing up when you least want me to, but what can you do but love me. -places the halo over her pink hair-



I am serious about the email, you know how I normally detest message boards. Who the hell is that person anyway? I could squash him/her with the heel of my frankenboots and you know it. How did they get my email anyway?? Are you passing it out? -again?? that wasn't funny the last time-



The furry porn comment is true..I'm even drawing an outfit up as we speak. I changed the dildo to a vibrator and I am thinking about using a chainsaw motor for it. The only thing I can think of to get the right force behind the three foot masterpiece I am planning...

your pink haired Mistress.....

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/22/2002 08:10 PM

Ha ha bitch! Try to confuse me with new websight, I've been posting from the greyhound statons. I gott wrogn tickket caus guyy at airpot made me nervous. Asked me about mother, shes dead now.



I coming to gab tlanta after I'm done dumping this body in the desert. See you there precious.

215 10
07/22/2002 08:25 PM

i've been considering trying to become a regular in GAB, but after reading this, i'm having some serious freaking doubts! honestly troopster, you scare the crap out of me. and thats damn hard to do, damn hard, you hear me, hard! it doesn't happen! aaahhhhh! truncate my kaftka novel, and bloatate a cattle, its hard!!



*screeches*

*grabs can of raid and flyswatter*

*hides in corner*

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/22/2002 10:37 PM

After I'm done in Atlanta I think I'll go to MAINE!!!

Trae 156,785 17
07/22/2002 10:37 PM

Ok, enough is enough. I know you're kidding right??



Joke's over.



C'mon.... really.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/22/2002 10:58 PM

Some things start harmlessly,



but do take on a life oftheir own!

Adrian Von Buttcrack 13,341 13
07/22/2002 11:16 PM

Ok, this thread is in need of some serious counselling....



#1. Mookie, get back on your meds. Like, NOW.



Trae, you are a slut. Come to Buttcrack.



Ther rest of you lot is just sick, despicable and deranged. carry on.

Super Cres, at best 10,666 13
07/22/2002 11:18 PM

I just have one question.





"Why?????"

daggylass 86,684 14
07/23/2002 03:31 AM

hmmm.......



I'm becoming sexually aroused.



is that wrong?

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/23/2002 03:34 AM

If thinking this thread is wrong, I don't want to be right!

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 11:38 AM

seriously stormy, you don't want to mess with me. two words:

i bite.

Trae 156,785 17
07/23/2002 11:40 AM

Wait!



How did he know you lived in Maine?????

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 11:40 AM

thats a damn good question.

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 11:43 AM

i guess i'll just have to track him down and bite him until he tells me *sigh*

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 11:45 AM

wait a minute, you told him, didn't you trae!

Trae 156,785 17
07/23/2002 11:57 AM

Are you kidding? I don't talk to that psycho freak anymore. Not since the "webcam incident"!!

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 11:57 AM

he's not cresent fresh,

super cres at best,

digity do da,

wigity ho ta.

he cresent freeeesh!!!

Super Cres, at best 10,666 13
07/23/2002 03:35 PM

<action> 's ears are burning.</action>

Super Cres, at best 10,666 13
07/23/2002 03:36 PM

He lives like 20 minutes from me..



<scared>

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/23/2002 03:36 PM

How can you sleep while your ears are burning?

Chickens 286,208 61
07/23/2002 03:40 PM

What did Mook show on his webcam?

Super Cres, at best 10,666 13
07/23/2002 03:42 PM

I wasn't sleeping, I was working.. there's generally a difference..

Trae 156,785 17
07/23/2002 03:49 PM

What did Mook show on his webcam?





Ummmmm...... nothing.

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 03:53 PM

actually cres, it more like 30 minutes. also, i don't have a car, so you don't have to live in (too much) fear. isn't that right Trusty-Rusty, yes, isn't that right my cute little spork of doom?

Super Cres, at best 10,666 13
07/23/2002 03:55 PM

It takes ME 20.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/23/2002 03:57 PM

So what was the webcam incident?

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 03:58 PM

thats just the sum of the highway driving, then you have to go into town, and make your way to werever your going, which in portland at about 5:00 PM is hard as hell

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/23/2002 06:15 PM

Has Trae posted today?

Trae 156,785 17
07/23/2002 06:17 PM

h.e.lp Me



Ic ant' typ long!



He p!!!l

Microcube - Hero of Love 13,428 12
07/23/2002 06:20 PM

just like a woman. draw a lot of attention to herself instead of actually trying to fix the problem.





oh boo hoo. boo hoo trae.



attention whore.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/23/2002 06:23 PM

Well, Cube, not everyone has a Glock in their sweater drawer.

a disemboweled sockk 4,060 0
07/23/2002 06:26 PM

people have sweater drawers?

Microcube - Hero of Love 13,428 12
07/23/2002 06:30 PM

well than she could use a shotgun or even a sword she has lying around. hell, you could get by with a machette or a combat knife or something.



you could even use a hunting rifle if you dont mind close quarters combat with a bolt action gun.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/23/2002 06:30 PM

Of course. Hanging a sweater stretches it all out of shape.

Microcube - Hero of Love 13,428 12
07/23/2002 06:30 PM

I mean... sheesh.

snowman 215 10
07/23/2002 09:02 PM

or you could be like me, and keep a frozen trout handy at all times. (thats why i have 3 mini freezers and a couple of mini coolers stashed in various places around my house). and once you've knocked the attacker unconcious, prepare the live mackeral for rectal insertion(mackeral cause they flap around for a long time).

Trae 156,785 17
07/23/2002 09:45 PM

Hush your mouth Cubis.... you have no idea what it's like.



Being stalked..it's a nightmare!

























oh wait.. nevermind.

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/25/2002 07:19 AM

I'd like to announce that the anti-pychotics have indeed worked their way out of my system. The threshold between fantasy and reality is becoming blurred.



Last night I caught myself wearing a skirt and calling myself Susy. Which in itself is fairly normal, however Susy wanted to check my temperature rectally then make a bullwhip out of cured strips of human flesh. I really do need to get my meds refilled.



That is all. Happy GABbing.

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/25/2002 08:08 AM

Just go listen to Johnny Cash sing "A Boy Named Sue" until the urges pass away, STiD.

The Dirty Nun 156,785 17
07/29/2002 11:48 AM

make a bullwhip out of cured strips of human flesh





*shudders*

Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
07/29/2002 11:50 AM

mmmmmmm, bacon

Dangeo 2,691 13
08/14/2002 11:12 AM

First to post!

Declan McManus, Chickens's PR staffer 131,867 36
04/13/2003 04:43 AM

Well, duh!

Fluro 14,139 11
06/21/2003 07:25 AM

This must never ever die

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
06/21/2003 11:04 AM

Shhhhh!



Don't say die.

































He can hear you!

Mookie Sporklove on Wheels 17,582 13
08/05/2003 02:42 AM

Die?

Daggy 86,684 14
08/05/2003 04:57 AM

This thread always makes me feel warm and nummy. I like to hum along to it's tune as I read it.

tlaxcatl 1,423 10
08/05/2003 05:07 AM

porridge? is that you?

Neepneep, Como conolo quieres? 35,066 15
08/24/2003 07:05 AM

I love this thread.

Mr.Glass 25,340 11
08/24/2003 02:05 PM

I love this thread with a fiery passion that could only be satisfied by a sexual act equal to, and greater than a sun imploding into itself.

Chance 171,270 14
11/05/2003 11:47 AM

Its been a few months, But damn I still love this thread!





Funniest. Thread. Ever.

Chili the Barbarian 8,880 12
11/05/2003 11:52 AM

This thread is kind of nostalgic, from the days when Trae's obsessed fan base was limited to just a few individuals, rather than most of the contiguous states.

Trae is a sassy goat 156,785 17
11/05/2003 11:53 AM

I'm glad you found humor in my fear.

cyphuh 17 9
11/08/2003 04:32 AM

"Last year, we got all hopped up on coke, and I accidentally fell on Castle Grayskull," is my favorite line ever.

Ducky-Prankster of teh Universe! 10,666 13
02/20/2004 11:14 PM

Dear Mookie,



Please come back! Forget that slut Trae and let me be your sex toy.



I'll give you a cookie. Promise.



Love,

Ducky

Fratberry 282,300 53
02/20/2004 11:55 PM

Damn, joke or no joke, that was some creepy Shakespeare.

1-800-DIAL-A-HAMMERHEAD 59,399 14
02/21/2004 02:53 AM

He's had practice.

The Foot 14,139 11
06/03/2004 11:28 PM

Time for this threads annual bumping.

RearAdmiralMike 3,390 10
06/16/2004 02:31 PM

WOW.

This was SO worth the 3 hours it took me to find it.

Barefoot Chance 171,270 14
06/16/2004 02:52 PM

and to think you could of just went to Traes funniest posts and found it within seconds! Not you though- not shortcuts for you! I bet you used to walk 3 miles to school in the rain with no shoes uphill.

I am feeling sorry for you.

Daggy 86,684 14
07/25/2004 01:36 AM

pbum!

Jantastic 10,022 10
07/25/2004 01:47 AM

This is my favorite thread of all time. The line about coke and Castle Grayskull is still my .sig.

173,954 15
10/18/2004 11:29 PM

You know what sucks? When people bump threads for no reason at all.

Chit From Shine-ola 178,732 15
10/18/2004 11:49 PM

Don't you mean when they act like it is for no reason at all ?

Chris Garrett (Craven Justalittlehead) 86,932 12
10/19/2004 07:33 AM

<action>Takes notes</action>



Uhhh...anyone have a spare legal pad I can use?

McRib, saucing you up 13,155 9
10/19/2004 08:28 AM

<action> looks up from his copy of "Stalking for Dummies" </action> Damn, somebody beat me to it.

Trae Labia 156,785 17
10/19/2004 09:25 AM

Great, just great. Like I need this again. Email me and I'll give you my address and we can cut to the chase.



Unless, you already have it.

DirtyHermit 858 9
10/19/2004 10:43 AM

Considering TableTopJane is the person that bumped this topic, she probably already has your address Trae.

Fuzzy Chickens 286,208 61
10/19/2004 10:54 AM

I should have taken the money.





mmmmmmmmm smurf glasses

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
08/04/2005 12:17 PM

This thread was pretty damn funny. I clicked all current regulars.

Trae 156,785 17
12/07/2005 09:18 PM

This my friends, is the story....

Jade - Santa's Midnight Mistress 14,453 11
12/07/2005 09:24 PM

Wow. Seriously scary. Don't worry, Trae. Move to Britain. I'll hide you.

Oliver Chest: Vagisil on Toast 203,475 12
12/07/2005 09:29 PM

Probably one of the funniest threads in existance.

Autra - Bah Humbug 10,533 11
12/07/2005 09:42 PM

I've got to admit, I laughed so hard that I almost shot beer outta my nose, but then I realized that that would've been a waste of beer.



On a related note, Trae, you need to come have teh secks with me, girlfriend be damned.



Sincerely,



teh Autra



P.S. I mean that in a totally non-stalkerish way.



Love and rock it.

Piquantrax - Keeping Kwanzaa Kool 8,691 8
12/07/2005 09:46 PM

Wait wait, this is a Disney thing right? I know how this ends. Song, dance, and the end of movie hook up right? And by hook up I mean act of violence.

Autra - Bah Humbug 10,533 11
12/07/2005 09:52 PM

That depends, am I the one geting hit, or the one doing the hitting?



I mean, I don't believe in domestic violence.



Really.



Did I mention that I have a prince albert?

Blueberry Pan-cake 2,382 8
08/12/2006 11:18 AM

Worth a bump.

Midgets 95,967 48
08/12/2006 12:21 PM

The thread or Trae?





Or both?

Trae: This Side Up. 156,785 17
08/12/2006 01:10 PM

And I had just finished therapy......





*calls doctor*

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 01:12 PM

<action> Answers phone </action>



Im the one you call Dr. Feelgood.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/12/2006 01:13 PM

That Mookie guy was clearly Frosted up. Who would want Trae? She's all mean and old and flappy cootered. She would probly yell " Get offa my bush ya whippersnappers!".

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 01:14 PM

<action> Kicks Cracka in the nuts</action>



This should numb the pain youre about to feel.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/12/2006 01:16 PM

Ha! I've been married for 8 years! My nuts have been im my wife's purse for 7 of them!



Ya missed me bitch!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 01:18 PM

<action> throws cracka's wife's purse in the woodchipper</action>



NOW WHAT?



THOUGHT SO PUNK!

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/12/2006 01:20 PM

She was actually wearing them as earrings today. So again I have to say



Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 01:22 PM

Never known a woman to wear earrings that matched her face. Thats ballsy. Heh.

Trae: This Side Up. 156,785 17
08/12/2006 01:26 PM

<action> walks into the thread with a bottle of Crisco, benwah balls and a spatula</action>





Is this the menage a trois??

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/12/2006 01:27 PM

It's spelled T W A T.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 01:27 PM

<action> Takes off panties </action> Now were talkin'!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 01:28 PM

It's spelled T W A T.



Your wife's face? I confuse easily. Say what you mean.

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/12/2006 01:29 PM

<action> notices the benwah balls are bowling ball sized</action>

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/12/2006 01:34 PM

<action> uses Chance's panties as a parachute and jumps out of thread</action>

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 01:36 PM

<action> hopes Cracka gets bit by a crab</action>

Supercalifragilisticexpinachosdocious 57,521 23
08/12/2006 01:59 PM

This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't know that you two were actually talking in chat at the same time.

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/12/2006 02:04 PM

Why am I never invited to chat?!

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 02:04 PM

Yeah, were funny like that. Or not.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 02:09 PM

Why am I never invited to chat?!



Hey, why dont you come into chat?

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/12/2006 02:11 PM

Oh my God, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me on here. I think I may cry.

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/12/2006 02:11 PM

Wait. You're all going to leave as soon as I get there, aren't you? Sigh.

Plain Ol' Chance 171,270 14
08/12/2006 02:12 PM

Oh, I never said I was in there. I just said you should go there.

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/12/2006 02:29 PM

I'm thinking of sucking up to someone new. Ditdah, I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me. Can we just be friends? I think we should see other people.



I'm thinking about either the blue leprechaun, because he has that cool mohawk, or Sage, because he would write me poetry and have phone sex with me. Although, Mr. Fook is an option also, simply because of his willingness to push Slinky down stairs for me.



Are any of the above interested in having a bitch? Bonus: I bruise and bleed easily.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/12/2006 02:32 PM

I bruise and bleed easily.



That's good to know.

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/12/2006 02:33 PM

Funny you should turn up in a stalker thread, Slinky.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/12/2006 02:39 PM

I like how you think I'm stalking you. It'll keep you on your toes, but the thing you have to realize is that when you post something, that thread goes to the top of the page. Where if anyone is veiwing GAB, they will see it's the most recently added-to conversation. That's why I could always be right behind you.



Oh, and you still suck big ol' donkey balls.

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/12/2006 02:45 PM

But not yours, and that's why you're sad, right?



I am not going to turn this into a Neophyte/Pram thing. You hate me, I am indifferent to you, blah blah.



Other than that, how's your weekend going, Slinky?

Crackalacka! 68,758 11
08/12/2006 02:46 PM

Quit Frosttarding this thread up.

Mr. Slinky 28,185 10
08/12/2006 02:47 PM

But that's all I ever come to GAB to do Cracka.



And MM- Itz gr8, u?

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/12/2006 05:13 PM

I got more than I hoped for

More than I dared

When the young woman fell in love

With me whom I call mSquared

As we sit on the beach

The moon is full this night

The fire crackles low

And we kiss in its light

As I gaze into your eyes

And stroke your hair so fine

It's like we're in a world

That was made by our design

And there is something I must confess

That makes my heart skip its pace

But when I think of you

I think of you sitting on my face







GodDAMN, I'm such a romantic!

mm, sucking up to ditdah 2,881 7
08/12/2006 09:39 PM

That last line brought a tear to my eye. So beautiful!

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/12/2006 10:43 PM

<action>sticks flag of the Space Needle and a pig into mm's forehead</action> I now claim this n00b in the name of Sage!





Now, mm, better change your name before I get mad.

mm, sucking [up to] sage 2,881 7
08/13/2006 10:27 AM

OOh, I think I'd like you when you're angry.

Sage of Seattle (Stridently Salacious) 36,465 8
08/13/2006 11:58 AM

You'd like me no matter how I feel, just face the fact.