Bonky 75,728 15
07/15/2002 08:43 PM

My mother did the Quick Weight Loss system.



There's nothing quick about it, and she spent about $800 - $1000 for several months worth of . . . . membership?



She lost 60-something pounds, and swears it was easy to follow. I'll see if I can find some of the literature (read: free menu okay list) at her house here while she's out of the state, if you're interested.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:45 PM

Thanks, but I think if I try anything it will be Jenny Craig first, because my boyfriend and one of my best friends is on the plan and we can all be support buddies.

Disabuser 3,439 11
07/15/2002 08:45 PM

Make sure you get a second opinion from that Jared guy.

onion 12,319 12
07/15/2002 08:45 PM

onion's weight loss tip:



when you want to lose weight, go out and do something really stupid, causing your life to disintegrate at the seams. your resulting mood will erase your appetite and ablity to sleep soundly. you can lose up to 30 lbs. a month this way.



works every time.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:45 PM

Hargrave says Jared looks chunky these days.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:46 PM

Onion, that's brilliant! And I'll save all kinds of money!





Unless the stupid thing I do loses me all my money.

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
07/15/2002 08:46 PM

My doc is thinkin' of putting me on Merida.



Good idea or not??

Bonky 75,728 15
07/15/2002 08:47 PM

Or, get your teeth capped and you won't eat for a few days afterward, then when you can eat solid food, it's lost it's appeal because you have to gnaw on it for a while!





onion, any telephone calls today? I'm thinking not.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 08:47 PM

Try joining a gym with a personal trainer. It's cheaper, more fun, and makes you end up looking hotter than just eating right, since you get cut.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:48 PM

Did our second attempt at the GAB 20-pound Club fizzle out?



I actually need to lose 45 pounds.



burrows head in pillow, screams

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 08:49 PM

i need to get in shape too...I could use about 8 lbs to get back to my highschool weight

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:49 PM

Chouggy, IM Ford about his success on Meridia. As far as I know he's still on it after a year and a half. 61556270

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:50 PM

Wako, now I'm more depressed. To get back to my high school weight would be another 20 pounds.

dinesh 24,862 16
07/15/2002 08:50 PM

meridia worked great for me for about a month, then slowly stopped being real effective. my doc eventually took me off of it, though he's still on my ass to also lose about 50 pounds.



unfortunately, insomnia and work have made that virtually impossible. oh, and a lack of willpower.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:51 PM

I'm going to have lunch now and try not to eat 1000 calories.

Feeble, Master of Disaster 32,400 15
07/15/2002 08:51 PM

Candy, my younger brother lost weight on Jenny Craig, but he gained it back again. Now, he's lost it again just on his own.



He said the big plus of JC was accountability; you have a weekly meeting with your coach, and that help keep you focused. The downside (for some; perhaps not for you) is that they expect you to eat their pre-packed food. That would be difficult if you're part of a family where not everyone is dieting, but perhaps it won't be a problem if your SO is also on the JC program.



And I'm back up to 237, so I feel your gain!

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:52 PM

Oh wait, high school weight would only be another 10 pounds, not 20.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 08:53 PM

<action>avoids telling candie that he meant gain 8 lbs

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 08:54 PM

<action>sabotages Wako's braking system on his car

dinesh 24,862 16
07/15/2002 08:54 PM

yeah, we know, you scrawny jackass!

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
07/15/2002 08:55 PM

Well, I've got to do something.



I've gone from and C cup to a D cup.

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 08:56 PM

For what it's worth, my ex-wife did the Jenny Craig thing, I remember taking her there on Thursday nights for quite some time. She lost 10 or 15 pounds. When she stopped going, the weight came back. That may be because she's a zipperhead, or she just lost interest in losing weight.



The only thing that worked for her was going to the gym; she lost the 20 pounds she wanted to, and to this day she's kept it off.



My story: I was 210 in early 1999.

Joined gym and stopped drinking beer. Dropped 40 pounds which I've kept off to this day, but I still don't drink beer (all that much) and still go to the gym at least 3 times a week.



My opinion, as worthless as it may seem, is to be active.



Just eat right and exercise, and the weight will come off...

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 08:57 PM

But I was in high school only a little over a year ago, and that was muscle weight from lifting 2 hours every day in class, as well as lifting twice a week for the hockey team. It's not because I'm in shape now. It's because fat is lighter than muscle.





Please come out from under my car.

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
07/15/2002 08:58 PM

Did I hear something about giving up beer?!!!!!







I thought not!

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 09:00 PM

Well, I still have a weakness for Bass Ale, but I try to keep it in check.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 09:01 PM

I refuse under any circumstances to give up drinking.



The way I see it, the lack of oxygen in the bloodstream caused by alchahol when running leads more quickly to anaerobic muscle growth, and the drunkenness makes it easier to do a two mile sprint.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
07/15/2002 09:01 PM

Become a heroin addict, they're always svelte. Plus, heroin!

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 09:02 PM

<action>master of fitness

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 09:05 PM

Don't give up drinking, Hell, I NEVER will...



But just limit your beer intake, the carbs are a killer...



Wine is better, but yeah there's nothing like a frosty Bass Ale on a hot 4th of July when you're with the whole family having a good time and the homemade sausages and pasta are yummy and your Mom outdoes herself with the tiramisu and oh, another beer?, oh hell yeah, and it's so cold it hurts so good going down and there's little ice particles floating on top and...







*spooge*

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 09:06 PM

I think I may have identified Spumoni's weight problem origins

Super Cres, at best 10,666 13
07/15/2002 09:07 PM

Er, Jenny Craig may help you lose weight but once you stop eating their REALLY EXPENSIVE food, you'll gain it back because you don't learn anything, you just eat what they tell you.



I do weight watchers and I've lost almost 40 lb so far, and am still losing because I'm learning HOW to eat, plus I do go to the gym as well (I recommend Curves)...



My Dad did Jenny Craig, spent a whole lot of money, lost some weight, and gained it back, and now he's walking and cutting back on sugar, and has lost like 60 lb..

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 09:09 PM

I am pretty active, and still can't keep slender. I dance vigorously for over an hour each week, plus I have the gardening/mowing/raking and get on the exercise bike every so often.



The problem is that I lead such a stressful and busy life, I need someone else to do the meal planning/creation for me. Otherwise I eat too much candy and fast food.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 09:13 PM

that's understandable, and I don't want to sound like an ass, but it's just a matter of forcing yourself to make the extra effort to not eat all the crap.



For what it's worth, unless you've majorly changed since your last pic, you could easily gain a few and be really hot.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 09:17 PM

but it's just a matter of forcing yourself to make the extra effort to not eat all the crap



That's what I've tried to do again and again for the last few years, and ultimately I just keep gaining.



Thanks for thinking I'm hot.



blushes

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/15/2002 09:18 PM

What are undersexed 19 year old soldiers for?

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 09:19 PM

Otherwise I eat too much candy and fast food.



And therein lies the problem.



Fast food BAD!



Say it with me!



BAD BAD BAD!!!!!!



Seriously, some of that stuff is so aweful for you I'm amazed it's not classified as lethal.



Candie, I think if you were to lose 45 pounds, you would be so thin it would not be healthy. Unless you had a major change from when I saw you, I would say maybe 20, tops.



Get into a mindset to eliminate the candy and fast food. I brought carrots and pretzels to work every day, and snacked on those when I was er, snackish.



grapes, apricots, any small fruit is good. Just say to yourself that the junk food is for the kids, not you. Keep repeating that mantra until you look at a Snickers bar with contempt and disgust...









Just my $0.02

Your mileage may vary

See dealer for actual discounts

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 09:19 PM

<action>spooges

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 09:22 PM

Get into a mindset to eliminate the candy and fast food.



I've done that before. But try working 132 miles away twice a week, leaving work at 7:00pm and finding a nutritious dinner on the two hour drive home.



I've tried planning out everything myself, food, snacks, etc. for a long time. It's just not sustainable forever, not with the life I currently lead.

SpumoniBoy 2,485 12
07/15/2002 09:23 PM

Hmmm...



Do you have a kitchen where you work?



Some people would actually bring stuff to make lunch where I worked.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
07/15/2002 09:27 PM

Try swallowing your spit a lot. I bet that'll fill you up, and maybe you'll stop all that disgusting spitting.

Feeble, Master of Disaster 32,400 15
07/15/2002 09:30 PM

I've been making progress recently. I share with you some wisdom.



1) Write down everything you eat. This has a certain shame factor to it; you don't want to look in your little book and see



"Candy bar chips chips candy bar double burger w/humongous fries.



Lunch:..."



But also, you will start to realize whether or not you have a good balance of carbs & protein & fat in the stuff you eat that's NOT junk. I discovered that, were it not for the junk food, I was getting way too little carbs and protein for a big guy like me. So, I now can tell myself: "Skip the chips, get to eat a couple of apples."

Feeble, Master of Disaster 32,400 15
07/15/2002 09:32 PM

2) Exercising vigorously once per week is not enough. You need 3 sessions of aerobic exercise per week (per my doctor and also per the physical trainer at the company gym), and each one should be 30 minutes or so long (so your heart is really going for at least 20 minutes).



3) Adding muscle bulk is one of the best things you can do. Every pound of fat in your body burns about 3 calories per day to maintain itself. Each pound of muscle burns about 50 calories a day. By adding 10 pounds of muscle, you will lose weight at a reasonable pace without changing your diet at all!



Of course, adding 10 pounds of muscle is pretty hard.

onion 12,319 12
07/15/2002 09:33 PM

BONKS!



nope. no call.



i called them. no answer until wednesday at the earliest, looks like.



bastards.



well, carry on, then,

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 09:48 PM

2) I know all that. I do my best.



3) I have a ton of muscle mass, which I keep conditioned pretty well. I don't need any more.

Barking Pumpkin 19,242 12
07/15/2002 09:58 PM

Ok, time for john to do away with the sippers. I just accidently sipped someone's post when clicking on IE to hide another window.

Ded_Freex 2,863 12
07/15/2002 10:01 PM

Who did you accidently sip. If you tell me I'll put some pee in their tube.

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/15/2002 10:02 PM

I weigh 160.

Ded_Freex 2,863 12
07/15/2002 10:03 PM

Which foot is that though ?

Ded_Freex 2,863 12
07/15/2002 10:03 PM

though ?

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/15/2002 10:07 PM

I forgot to mention that I'm posting this from the planet Mercury.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 10:08 PM

That's where I should move.





Maybe my clothes would fit better there too?

Ded_Freex 2,863 12
07/15/2002 10:11 PM

I weigh somewhere in between this weight and that one.



*forgets actuall weights seeing how thats scooters dog*

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/15/2002 10:13 PM

Scooter lifts dogs?

Super Cres, at best 10,666 13
07/15/2002 10:14 PM

<whisper>I think Freex is drinking again..

Ded_Freex 2,863 12
07/15/2002 10:15 PM

<action>is NOT drinking again

dinesh 24,862 16
07/15/2002 10:17 PM

never stopped, eh?

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
07/15/2002 11:10 PM

Go with Jenny Craig. Those places work because they take all your money for meetings and their food that you have nothing left to eat with.



Or I could arrange to rob you and assualt you every week, should do the same trick.

Thermopolis (man in black) 666 13
07/15/2002 11:12 PM

Since my kidneys started giving me trouble it has been extremely hard to lose weight. You gain from the meds they put on and there is nothing you can do about it. But since I have been healing and can be more active now, maybe it will start to come off again!

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/16/2002 12:58 AM

Just got back. I was a whole nother five pounds heavier on their scale. Anyway, I signed up for the whole shpiel - a three-year membership.



I'm kicking my fat to the curb!

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 01:15 AM

I've weighed as much as 260 and as little as 190 before.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/16/2002 01:17 AM

Well, at least I still weigh less than you ever have. There's that.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 01:18 AM

So at anytime, I could've done you and not broken my rule.



Not my rule anyway.

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/16/2002 02:18 AM

It's OK, Candy, I'll still like you if you weigh less than me.



In other news, I benched more than my body weight for the first time in years yesterday.

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
07/16/2002 02:43 AM

You weigh only 50 lbs!!!

Microcube - Hero of Love 13,428 12
07/16/2002 02:49 AM

I'm down to 225, and I feel alot better.



I'm gonna try to hit 200 by the end of summer.

sockk, der nacht 4,060 0
07/16/2002 02:51 AM

i'm going to race cube to 200.

Microcube - Hero of Love 13,428 12
07/16/2002 03:05 AM

eating alot sockk?

sockk, der nacht 4,060 0
07/16/2002 03:11 AM

i've been above 200 for some time. it would be nice to be below it.

d8uv. Or is it? Dun dun dun. 3,011 13
07/16/2002 04:11 AM

Keep eating.



I'll say it again. Do. Not. Stop. Eating. In fact, eat more. Cram 25% more of the Good Shakespeare down your gaping maw. Exercise often, but still eat more.



I really would hate to say this, but the Subway Diet actually does work.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/16/2002 10:01 AM

I guess I'm a little late (that's what I get for having the flu), but I was going to recommend ediets.com.



I haven't done it myself (I can't bring myself to spend the money for a membership), but my old boss did it and has lost something like 35 lbs so far.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 10:07 AM

Get some Xenodrine to increase your metabolism. My homeskillet weighed 300 at one point and now weighs around 210, and he used the stuff. He did a lot of other things along with that. But he swears that stuff works real good-like..

Stinky 7,952 12
07/16/2002 10:14 AM

Do not take Xenodrine(the ephedrine or ephedrine-free version). Take Diet Fuel. It will boost your metabolism without the emotional side effects. Xenodrine made me weep during The Black Stalion.

shoelace414 10,080 13
07/16/2002 10:16 AM

Do not take Xenodrine, instead take Cocaine. I've seen a guy we used to call the rickaphant turn into a beanpole.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 10:17 AM

from what I've heard, Xenadrine is the most effective. Xenadrine without ephedrine is pretty pointless.

Bonky 75,728 15
07/16/2002 10:21 AM

I eat to fill the emotional void that you have all caused in my soul.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/16/2002 10:25 AM

Ephedrine is not recommended for most women, Scooter. They are emotional enough thinking about how cool and sexy I am. She can try MaxLean Ephedrine-free(www.maxmuscle.com)...no ephedrine, but still will partake of gugol sterones.

Bonky 75,728 15
07/16/2002 10:26 AM

Just for that, I'm going to lose 20 pounds!



I'll show you!

Trae 156,785 17
07/16/2002 10:26 AM

Seriously, the only way to lose weight successfully is to make a full life change.



*Notice I said life change, not sex change*





Weight Watchers, Quick Weight Loss and Jenny Craig are good start off points, but don't rely on them altogether. You'll end up gaining the weight right back.



Calculate your % of body fat (forgot how, but it's out there somewhere). Then research what is 'normal' for your 'body type'.



Keep the calories within range, and exercise at least 45 minutes 4 days a week. Cardio exercise, not weights. The idea is to get your heart rate up for a significant amount of time to burn off any excess fat stored.



You have to adapt this method to keep the weight off.



I know you probably already know some of this, but figured I'd pipe in anyway.



Good Luck!

shoelace414 10,080 13
07/16/2002 10:27 AM

you could do all that.. or you could just eat less.

Bonky 75,728 15
07/16/2002 10:31 AM

BMI = (body weight) x 705 divided by height in inches, divided again by height in inches.



But, this does not fairly calculate if you are muscley.



The cop's BMI is 25.2 and he's not obese.



Shaquille O'Neal's is 30.5.

Trae 156,785 17
07/16/2002 10:33 AM

Actually Shoe, "eating less" is often done incorrectly resulting in more fat stored. Many people equate "eating less" with skipping meals.





"My 10 cents, my 2 cents is free..."



</Eminem>

Stinky 7,952 12
07/16/2002 10:38 AM

Candie, if you would like to see a diet that was created by my personal trainer(one of the top in the NorthEast), let me know. It's better than taking tips by a bunch of out of shape know-nothings that are giving you advice here.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/16/2002 10:42 AM

My wife was date raped back when she was single. The insueing depression led to a 40# weight loss.



You might want to try that.

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/16/2002 11:10 AM

Some of us eat when we're depressed. If I was date raped, I'd probably gain 50 pounds, and even more if I got pregnant as a result of the rape.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/16/2002 01:03 PM

Sex is one of the most efficient cardio excercises.



I gladly help the ladies by acting as a personal trainer, dietician, and excercise machine.

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
07/16/2002 01:07 PM

That only works if your able to keep your heart rate up for 30 minutes, not seconds.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 01:27 PM

lifting weights is better for weight loss than cardio. With cardio, you burn what you burn on the spot. Lifting weights increases your metabolism more more a longer period of time. The concept applies to sprinting vs. distance running as well. Better to take a few shots of running as fast as you can for twenty seconds than to run slowly for 45 minutes.



I think starvation dieting gets a bad rep. It's the only thing that has ever worked for me. I got up to 250. Starved myself down to 205 with a little help from bike riding. Got involved with miyu. Ballooned up to 260. Starved myself down to 190 with a little help from jogging.

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/16/2002 01:34 PM

Hmmm, dealing with fatties. Aren't you supposed to sew their lips shut?

vertical bob 26,707 13
07/16/2002 01:34 PM

Wait, no, that's zombies.

Ms Oedipa 650 11
07/16/2002 01:56 PM

I have to suggest DietWatch over anything I've tried simply because of their online diary. I'm a vegetarian so I love that you can calculate your vitamin intake. Can't really recommend eDiets.



Good luck, Candie, and keep us updated! I've lost 20 pounds on the DietWatch and sex diet. 20 more to go! Woohoo!

Scooter 'the Cµnt Juicer' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 02:00 PM

The problem with sex as exercise is that although your heartrate my skyrocket during the process, it plummets to barely beating for several hours afterwards. Especially if you weren't the only fatass in the bed.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/16/2002 02:11 PM

Mine usually gets right back up after sex.



Oh, wait you said heartbeat. Nevermind

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 02:13 PM

Try lots and lots of Vodka.



You won't necessarily lose any weight, but when you look at yoruself in the mirror, you'll think you did.







**************************





My serious advice to you. Cut all fat out of your diet. NON Fat everything. Fat is a large percentage of daily calories.



Keep yourself to 1250 to 1500 calories per day.



Sub fatty condiments for salsa and mustard.



Drink 2 glasses of water before every meal.



Eat tons of fruits and veggies. Fruit juice is no sub for actual fruit. Need the fiber.



Do not drink beer.



Do not eat out a lot. You must control what goes in your food.





Do situps to shrink your stomach.

Scooter 'the Cµnt Juicer' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 02:18 PM

towards the end of my weight loss I had cut down to about 200 calories every other day.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 02:23 PM

That's insane.

Scooter 'the Cµnt Juicer' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 02:24 PM

That worked.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 02:29 PM

Killing yourself is a good way to lose weight, but it's not a smart or healthy way.

Scooter 'the Cµnt Juicer' Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 02:31 PM

I'm healthier having done it than I would be if I had not.

Salvia Divinorum 0 0
07/16/2002 02:31 PM

Cunnilingus is out of the question if you want to lose weight? Who knew?

Candie Kohrne, Pet Psychic 8,640 15
07/16/2002 03:18 PM

I like Salvia's idea best.



By the way, no stimulants. Heart arrythmia.



And - I have already tried everything mentioned here about diet and exercise many times before. But thanks for trying to enlighten. I've finally accepted that I need some outside, structured help.



Jenny Craig french toast and syrup is yummy.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 03:24 PM

Jenny Craig will just tell you to do what I told you.



But they'll just make you buy their food.

Candie Kohrne, Pet Psychic 8,640 15
07/16/2002 03:28 PM

That's the point. I will gladly pay them to organize it all for me. I fail on my own with my busy and stressful life.

Candie Kohrne, Pet Psychic 8,640 15
07/16/2002 03:30 PM

Also: Cut all fat out of your diet.



This is terrible advice. A person needs some fat to survive.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/16/2002 03:33 PM

Sounds like you have plenty.

Candie Kohrne, Pet Psychic 8,640 15
07/16/2002 03:33 PM

Yes I do.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 03:34 PM

A person needs some fat to survive.



Yes, that's true. But I'm guessing by your starting thsi thread that your body can sustain itself on the fat already in your body.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 03:35 PM

Stinky! Stop beating me to the punch.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/16/2002 03:36 PM

As a side point, you can cut "fat" out of your diet and survive. Sugars and other carbohydrates get stored as fat...you can live off those.

Candie Kohrne, Pet Psychic 8,640 15
07/16/2002 03:38 PM

Then I can lose all my hair and let my skin look sickly. Works for me.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 03:39 PM

Uh oh.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/16/2002 04:03 PM

Candie, Jenny Craig meals are saturated in sodium which will make you retain water. Even if you lose fat, you still will look like an overinflated balloon.

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/16/2002 04:06 PM

Doctors recommend at most 30% of calories from fat. Less is better. I don't think zero is optimal. I know that for children zero is sub-optimal - some yuppie parents have to be ordered to let their kids have fat by the pediatrician.



Marilyn - why is beer bad, but vodka good?

Stinky 7,952 12
07/16/2002 04:11 PM

What a dumb question.



A shot of 180 proof vodka gives you .90 ounces of alcohol. It's a carb, but you are only drinking 1 ounce. One beer only gives you .6 ounces of alcohol, but you are drinking 12 ounces of high carb. liquid.



So, you drink much less carbs and get drunk much quicker. Vodka is the drink of choice for my dates.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/16/2002 04:32 PM

Marilyn - why is beer bad, but vodka good?



Duh, because there is no such thing as a Vodka Belly.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/16/2002 04:38 PM

No just Vodka nose.

Candie Kohrne, Pet Psychic 8,640 15
07/16/2002 05:19 PM

Candie, Jenny Craig meals are saturated in sodium which will make you retain water.



No, you're thinking of Weight Watchers.

Chickens 286,208 61
07/16/2002 08:25 PM

In honor of this thread, I went out and ran a half mile and walked two more tonight.



Must have lost 20-30 pounds.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/16/2002 08:49 PM

In honor of my fat gut, I ran a mile and a half this morning before breakfast, and am gonna run two more tonight.





If I don't wimp out.

(Bonky's) Scooter Brown 19,936 13
07/16/2002 09:10 PM

I ran ten miles a day for a while, there.

Barking Pumpkin 19,242 12
07/16/2002 09:14 PM

I heard that saliva causes cancer, but only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.



</Carlin>

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/17/2002 01:47 AM

I was doing 8 in december once a week. But I got lazy and fat.





Oh and scooter. You're full of Sh1t.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 02:55 AM

anything below a total of 30 miles a week isn't going to change your body.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/17/2002 03:18 AM

I ate Jenny Craig for a while.





Her husband didn't like it, but she did!

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/17/2002 10:38 AM

Which proves you have no idea what you're talking about, Scooter.



Running just a half mile a day 5 days a week would make a major change for someone overweight who never runs.





But I'm saying you're full of Shakespeare for thinking that we'd believe you ran 10 miles a day.



Go curl a Volvo and stop talking.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 01:10 PM

no it wouldn't.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 01:23 PM

Okay, it wasn't everyday.



It was every night. I'd start around 10:30 and be done around 1:30. Then I'd have to wake up at 6 to drive for an hour and get to school on time which in hindsight explains the heavy eyelids and the swerving. Not really hindsight. I knew it at the time, too. But for some reason I had the fire, and the eye of the tiger, and the burning heart and all that jazz making me want really bad to do whatever I could to lose weight twenty-four seven. Which included the starvation diet. I started out eating a bowl of total and a chicken breast every day. Pretty soon my metabolism caught up to that so I cut out the total. Then my metabolism caught up to that so I cut it down to the chicken every other day. Then my metabolism caught up to that so I changed it to one of those meal replacement bars. That was pretty close to the end, but my metabolism caught up to that to and close to the end, I was on a bar every third day.



That was one of the semesters I ended up withdrawing from school.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 01:27 PM

and, there's more geometry up now, goddammit.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 01:40 PM

I think Crickette can verify that if I am lying, it is an elaborate lie that has been 3 years in the making.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 02:25 PM

I can't vouch for the jogging, but I can vouch for the starvation thing.



Why do you think I left? He's psycho!

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 02:28 PM

well you have only my word from the time to go on for either one, so I don't know why you'd be able to vouch for one any more than the other.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 02:31 PM

So it was kindalike Crickette was pregnant with Scooter...she ate for 2.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 02:32 PM

I think you forget that I was there for one of the "smart start and chicken" weeks.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 02:32 PM

Remember? I ate some popcorn and you had a fit?

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 02:39 PM

hehehhehehe. I remember that. I've been told that is an amusing story and I have to agree.



but that's not one of the two times that it actually worked.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 02:44 PM

It was ridiculous is what it was..



You, sir, are a freak.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 02:45 PM

a thin freak

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
07/17/2002 02:49 PM

So, we've established that Scooter is neurotic and obsessive.



Welcome to Gab, you'll fit right in.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/17/2002 02:51 PM

I belive you could do 10 miles in 3 hours. But a 20 minute mile is far from running. I can walk a 15 minute mile with 50 lbs on my back.



I could easily do a 20 minute mile with a walker.



And no, nobody could change their body doing half a mile in 10 minutes, I was talking about if they were running.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 02:51 PM

you have to understand. The kid isn't going to have a sub or even standard life. The kid is going to live a thousand years. The kid is going to look good doing it. The kid is going to be the smartest, strongest, best thing alive. The kid is going to bone all the hot womens. And the kid is going to leave the world feeling like it just had the big one before he leaves.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 02:53 PM

See? completely psycho.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 02:54 PM

of course you could. now do ten of them.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 02:58 PM

the kid freaks out a little bit in certain situations

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/17/2002 03:05 PM

I did 23 miles in december with 50 lbs in my ruck, 6 quarts of water, a 18lb rifle, and 6 lbs of ammo on my chest. It took around 6:30.



The first ten miles were done in less than 160 minutes.



the last time I ran 8 miles I did it in under an hour



10 miles in 3 hours isn't running

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:08 PM

Crickett! Start talking about how bad the sex was now!

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/17/2002 03:08 PM

Oh, and by the way I did that march while bleeding from 3 different holes in my thigh, one 3inches deep.



No bs.



Yeah, I am bragging.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 03:10 PM

Don't get me started, girlfriend!



"Z" snaps

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 03:10 PM

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah....and tell us how small Scooter's penis is, because he obviously is trying to overcompensate.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:12 PM

I did 23 miles in december with 50 lbs in my ruck, 6 quarts of water, a 18lb rifle, and 6 lbs of ammo on my chest. It took around 6:30.



The first ten miles were done in less than 160 minutes."



= 2.66 hours



how much did you weigh at the time? I weighed 220 when I started being able to do the full ten miles.





"10 miles in 3 hours isn't running"



If your feet never touch the ground at the same time, you are running. I can run slower than I walk if I choose, I'm still burning more calories.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:14 PM

+ see how fast you run it when you've been on 200 calories every other day for a month or two.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:21 PM

well, my curiousity is aroused. Go ahead, Crickette. Get you started.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 03:22 PM

Your curiousity is the only thing that gets aroused from what I hear.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:23 PM

you must have heard that from...

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 03:24 PM

I could start with how nasty your apartment was, but I'm not sure I feel like being that mean today.



But you keep acting snotty to me, and I may have to.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/17/2002 03:24 PM

"how much did you weigh at the time? I weighed 220 when I started being able to do the full ten miles."



You're right, I was a skinny 142 at the time. And carrying around 80 lbs of weight wearing boots and full uniform. Plus about half the company was well over 250. No one dropped out.







"see how fast you run it when you've been on 200 calories every other day for a month or two."





I wouldn't. I'm not that retarded. I get like 2000 colories at least every day and easily burn them off running around two miles every other day (or at least for 15 minutes, which works out about the same), doing pushups and situps every night, and hitting the weights once a week.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:26 PM

I didn't start acting snotty to you. Unless you consider me messing with you in that sail away thread as being anything more than friendly ribbing. Be mean. I beg you to.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 03:28 PM

You guys need to kiss and make up, but wait until I leave the room...I just ate.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:28 PM

Before you two get into it we need some beefy bodyguards around, like on Springer...

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 03:29 PM

see how fast you run it when you've been on 200 calories every other day for a month or two.



Your logic overwhelms me. This is like listening to the Caterpiller wax philosophic in Wonderland.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:29 PM

It's what worked for me. I don't care if you think it's retarded, it worked. And we seem to no longer be disputing whether I'm full of Shakespeare or not anymore so I'm not sure why you're still talking.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 03:32 PM

Fine. I'll start here.



The apartment was gross. I didn't clean it to be nice to you, I cleaned it so I could stand to be there for a week.



broken garbage disposal full of flies.

cockroaches smushed on the wall

floors that hadn't been vacuumed and/or washed in god knows how long.

trash everywhere

and the crusty sheets



That's enough.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 03:32 PM

And we couldn't go anywhere!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:33 PM

Applauds with glee!

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:34 PM

that's not mean. I would've said that myself. My living spaces stay dirty. For the record. People decide they want to clean my apartment for me, I don't say no.

onion 12,319 12
07/17/2002 03:36 PM

eh heh.



heh.



i did something similar to scooter right out of college. i didn't eat for a month. nothing. i lost 30 lbs. i continued along that path and was the thinnest i have ever been in my adult life.



i was forcibly hospitalized for mental illness. i was anorexic. it was not, and isn't now, funny or something i ever joke about. anyone acting like that is ill and needs help.



period.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:36 PM

nyahhh skinny lady!

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 03:37 PM

It was way beyond dirty.



It was disgusting.



Seriously.



The worst I have ever seen. And I'm not that far from being a slob myself.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:39 PM

Care for a cookie, Calista?

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:39 PM

although that was a particularly dirty time in my life. We couldn't go anywhere because people looked at us funny when we did. Granted I got pretty fat when I setled into the idea that I was going to be spending my life with a chick that looked like Cartman. But I never got morbid looking. And people see a fat guy with a morbidly obese girl, they wonder what the hell is wrong with him. You lose hope, and you don't care much about cleaning Shakespeare.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 03:40 PM

Can you actually clean shlt?

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:41 PM

"i did something similar to scooter right out of college. i didn't eat for a month. nothing. i lost 30 lbs. i continued along that path and was the thinnest i have ever been in my adult life.



i was forcibly hospitalized for mental illness. i was anorexic. it was not, and isn't now, funny or something i ever joke about. anyone acting like that is ill and needs help."



The miyu thing ended and I regained hope. I didn't want to be fat anymore, so I did that for a while. Got down to a good weight and started eating normally again and haven't had any problems since.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 03:41 PM

One of the funniest scenes in Zoolander is when the reporter lady tells the idiot boys about her bout with Anorexia, and they think that is just the coolest thing ever.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:42 PM

But she's getting married, she's happy and has a mate.



You?

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 03:42 PM

Kinda reminds me of Scooter, now.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 03:43 PM

The miyu thing ended and I regained hope.



Ooh, low blow. Blaming a girl for your sickness.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 03:44 PM

How long were you two dating, Miyu? Long distance? Did you meet here first, or meet elsewhere first and both end up here?

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:45 PM

"But she's getting married, she's happy and has a mate.



You?"



I'm not fat. Nor do I want anyhting else she's got.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 03:48 PM

Friends, happiness, somebody to screw whenever you want...yeah, I wouldn't want those either, Scooter.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
07/17/2002 03:48 PM

Dead Robot, you are beautiful.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:48 PM

Nor do I want to lose anything she doesn't have, such as a sense of humor.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 03:49 PM

Long distance. Met somewhere other than gab. A year or so? Year and a half? something like that.



I am far from morbidly obese. You can see that from my pictures alone, not to mention those that have met me. I may be overweight, but it doesn't impede my life in any way.



We couldn't go anywhere because you were scared to death of someone who knew your mother seeing us and telling her they saw you with a girl. Despite us being 2 hours from where your mother lived.



And I've found happiness in my life, while you're still searching for it in math books and metabolism pills. So you may not want anything I have, but I certainly don't want anything you have either.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:49 PM

Some would say you never had one in the first place, mr grumpyfreeweights.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 03:50 PM

mother seeing us and telling her they saw you with a girl.



Comedy. Gold.

sockk, der nacht 4,060 0
07/17/2002 03:51 PM

or t3h m4d m47h sk331zz

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:54 PM

My mother has seen me with girls, just not fat ones. I had to think of something.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:55 PM

I don't take metabolism pills. I know about them from two friends.



And boy does it heard being accused of liking math books.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 03:56 PM

I like banging fat chicks...I know they are gonna cook me up something after we're done.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 03:56 PM

heard=hurt

Salvia Divinorum 0 0
07/17/2002 03:57 PM

Wow. GAB's changed.



"Lunchables" wasn't mentioned once in this thread.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 03:57 PM

That's Scooter. Basing his beliefs on heresay.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 03:59 PM

My mother has seen me with girls



Puh-lease.

Scooter 'Juice of the Cµnt' Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 04:04 PM

then... I want my mother to think I'm gay, I guess.

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/17/2002 04:11 PM

I'm fairly sure you can't run with a 3-inch deep hole in your leg w/o bleeding to death. especially considering that the kind of "hole" you get from running tend to be a lot wider than it is deep.



Unless you have like freak orca-fat legs.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 04:12 PM

7 out of 10 weightlifters have dysfunctional relationships with their fathers.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 04:13 PM

So you are saying 7 out of 10 weightlifters are homos?

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 04:14 PM

Thanks for the backstory, Crickette.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 04:15 PM

No Stinky. Just implying.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 04:15 PM

Have you tried Jenny Craig, Crickette? I started yesterday and I've lost I don't know how many pounds.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 04:16 PM

You're a sly fox, DR. Wanna Frost?

Squeamish 38,986 14
07/17/2002 04:16 PM

11 out of 9 fat people are bad at math.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 04:19 PM

There's much much more backstory Candie, and if you're truly curious, email me. I feel like typing a lot.



I've thought about doing a "program" thing, but I just don't have the extra income to spend. We're just concentrating on eating better and being more active. Which really isn't that hard to do around here when we have friends that like playing golf and disc golf as much as we do.



we're not looking for dramatic weight loss, we're just looking to be more healthy.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 04:22 PM

Heh, I was just playing. Like I'm an expert on Jenny Craig because I've on it for a day and 1/3 and have lots bunches of water weight.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 04:24 PM

Sure Stinky! Got a watermellon?

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 04:25 PM

Ewwwww.



I ate watermelon for breakfast.

Stinky 7,952 12
07/17/2002 04:26 PM

I did, but I tried to take it through Harlem. I don't have it anymore.

(Bonky's) Scooter Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 04:26 PM

You could ask Ford for the backstory.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 04:28 PM

Feh, we all know Ford was banned. Where's the integrity in that?

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 04:29 PM

Right now I'm eating three fat overboiled (to the point of splitting) hot dogs on pumpernickle bread (out of buns, sorry Feeble) with cheese, mayo and ketchup.



Read em and weep, fatties!

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 04:30 PM

I h8 U gutz.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 04:31 PM

The great thing about having a wasting disease is the weightloss.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 04:31 PM

Ewwwwww.



mayo.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
07/17/2002 04:32 PM

But who would want to lose weitht the DR way?

(Bonky's) Scooter Brown 19,936 13
07/17/2002 04:32 PM

I fully expect Crickette to thank me for making her popular again.

Sleestack 30,342 13
07/17/2002 04:34 PM

"I'd like to thank all those who made my Nobel award possible..."



(beeper goes off)



"...oh. Excuse me, won't you?"



(Walks off stage. Leaves building. Flags a cab to the airport. Boards plane. Flies back to US. Goes home. Fires up computer. Logs on GAB)





Ford's banned?

Dead Robot 67,630 16
07/17/2002 04:35 PM

I love you, you stinky CK1 geek.

Disabuser 3,439 11
07/17/2002 04:41 PM

Check it out: a Jenny Craig consultation

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 04:43 PM

Making me popular again?



I'm no more popular now than I was when I woke up this morning.

onion 12,319 12
07/17/2002 04:43 PM

a combined permissions and 404 error.



charming.

Sleestack 30,342 13
07/17/2002 04:46 PM

Forbidden



You don't have permission to access /images/Psychic-reading-cheeks.jpg on this server.



Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.



Also, you're ugly.

sockk, der nacht 4,060 0
07/17/2002 04:46 PM

an initiative taker is me.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/17/2002 04:56 PM

Go here first.



And then go here.

Crickette 2,472 12
07/17/2002 05:19 PM

Ahhhh.



I feel cleansed.

General Leppy the Leprechaun 12,056 12
07/17/2002 07:14 PM

Squem I wasn't running with holes in my leg. I did the march. And yes one was 3 inches deep, a little more actually. But the bleeding was minor due to the infection blocking the wound. They were infected spider bites from Brown Recluse spiders.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
07/17/2002 07:48 PM

yeah, yeah.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
07/22/2002 11:50 PM

The update you have all been holding your breath for: I have lost 1.8 pounds on the Jenny Craig plan in the past week.



I now return you to your regularly scheduled sexual innuendos and cat photos.