social graces
A comedy article
by jellytot  3,504  11
08/09/2002 06:04 AM 245 views
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My wife went away for the weekend a few weeks ago. So I thought I'd take the opportunity to go and stay with an old school-friend. He'd been bugging me to come over and meet his new girl friend for ages anyway.
We spent a pleasant evening joking about old times and telling increasingly risque stories and getting more and more drunk. However, during this time I did notice his partner was saying less and less and looking more and more disapproving.
Anyway, I didn't think any more about it, they went up to bed, I bedded down on the sofa and fell fast asleep. When I woke up, the first thing I was aware of was my stabbing headache and then immediately afterwards my incredibly full bladder made itself known to me. Staggering out of the lounge doubled over, I realised to my horror that the bathroom was occupied, the shower was running and that the only toilet in the house was beyond my reach. What's more I could hear voices, so I presumed they were both in there, so there was no possibility of the bathroom being free any time soon.
So I did what any good guest would do, I staggered into the kitchen, hoiked down my boxers and started to pee into the sink. At this point I happened to glance out of the window only to see my hostess frozen in place staring at me over the washing line. There was nothing I could do, I had about a gallon of pee inside me and it was gushing out like a firehose.
She dropped her washing, walked straight past me, straight upstairs and slammed the bedroom door loudly enough to shake the house. Upstairs, the shower stopped, I heard my friend turn off the radio and go into the bedroom.
My pee died down to a trickle.
There was a few minutes of shouting, some muffled bangs and then my host came down very apologetically and said that she was refusing to come down whilst I was still in the house.
So, not wanting to make the situation worse, I packed up and went home.
Some weekend, not even a fried breakfast.
I got an e-mail from him today saying that she had left him, citing amongst other things, "his dreadful friends", still he seemed quite up beat about it and at least I don't have to try and explain to her why I was pissing all over her washing up.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
16 votes
4.9
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8 Comments on "social graces"
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dr froglord 9,243  13
08/09/2002 02:15 PM
Miss Manners says that when peeing in someone's sink one should always sit on the sink so the host(ess) is happy when you get up and they do not find a steaming pile.
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Disabuser 3,439 11
08/09/2002 02:38 PM
I hope you've learned your lesson.
Next time, just roll over and pee into the crevice between the sofa cushions.
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goatwarrior 56 11
08/16/2002 11:54 AM
You should have peed on the floor like a civilized human being.
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shoelace414 10,080 13
08/16/2002 12:26 PM
I like how the story keeps going on.. it sounds like he's peeing for 30 minutes. people are going about their life and he's still standing and peeing in the kitchn sink.
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Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
08/16/2002 12:27 PM
This is why God invented bushes and back yards.
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jellytot 3,504 11
08/19/2002 06:29 AM
You never had that early morning pee where after a few seconds it just feels as though you are never going to stop?
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vertical bob 26,707 13
08/19/2002 06:32 AM
You should pee on her shoes.
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Dirk Lately 14,001 13
08/19/2002 08:31 PM
What, no three-way? I was expecting a three-way.
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