I'm Too Sexy For This Goldfish 12,287 12
09/26/2002 01:14 PM

Well, Jeebus John, how do you think that makes all the people who have ever been number 8 feel?



Eh?!?!



AREN'T WE ALL WINNARS HERE?!?!?!?

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 01:15 PM

<action>rushes to buy box seats for the ultimate GAB event of a lifetime!</action>

Merkin 10,008 13
09/26/2002 01:15 PM

John, maybe if your plea was about three paragraphs longer, I'd consider.

TTTTT 156,785 17
09/26/2002 01:16 PM

<action> resists temptation to say "Shut up M***" ....







Oh ok, fine. Come back if you want to. I'm tired of all the one liners anyway. We could use some good debate the Ford Way.



Not only that, but it would nice if we could put away one part of the GAB lexicon. Now if we could just get Mike Moon back. Nothing like some Drunk Angry Hollie to get the blood flowing.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 01:16 PM

<action>begins the chant</action>

HERE WE GO, PREFECT, HERE WE GO!

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/26/2002 01:18 PM

*tries to pull John's head out of the ground*



Nope. Won't budge.





JOHN FORD IS OVER ON CODESLAVE'S BOARD AND HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 01:19 PM

You realize any sarcasm in this thread will be ignored and he'll see this thread as another desperate attempt for website traffic by John Hargrave's over-inflated ego, don't you?



I honestly thought ford was a very funny gabber, when he wasn't taking things too seriously. I wouldn't mind having him back.



Givin the things he's said about you and gab though, he'd have to swallow a lot of pride in order to return.



It would be like if he swore he'd never work for "The Man" again, quit his job to start his own business, and then entertained a job offer from someone.



He'd never do that.

dinesh 24,862 16
09/26/2002 01:20 PM

but...john has said in the past that they're good friends.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 01:23 PM

Think of all the times Ford Prefect has gotten you to chuckle at another's misfortune, or made you scroll to the bottom of a thread through all of his long-winded gum-flapping. He brings you teh funny 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter where in Michigan it may be. Think of all he provides - isn't it worth just one click per year? Even if it's your first time, go ahead, dig up an old Ford Prefect post, and click an otto, or two, or three to keep this high-quality entertainment coming to you for years to come. Click now and Ford will send you this sporty tote bag with a meandering rant about the state of the Catholic church on the side. Click 10 ottos and you'll receive this handsome Ford Prefect umbrella! Won't you please click Ford Prefect's otto today to keep his charm and wit strong for the next fiscal year, and beyond?



this is what I've been waking up to on my clock radio all damn week. it's at the point where if i catch Jason Beaubien on the street i'm going to kick him in the shins and take his wallet.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 01:23 PM

I'm telling ya, this is all going to go to Ford's head. He might actually explode this time.

I'm Too Sexy For This Goldfish 12,287 12
09/26/2002 01:25 PM

Day-umn!





Hargrave got all the Boston stations in on the "Bring Fr0d Back" prank?!



Now, I am impressed.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 01:29 PM

This is all just a ploy to keep HoB talking about Gab.

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
09/26/2002 01:30 PM

I'll join this appeal for Ford to come back.



And then I'll agree with Scooter. John, Ford thinks you're a egotistical maniac who contributes nothing to this board. I'm not kidding, and I'm not pulling any punches. The whole "swearbot" thing was the last straw. The idea of enforcing ethics on him that he doesn't agree with puts him into a frothing rage. He likes some of the people who still post here, so he lurks, but I don't think he'll ever give you the satisfaction of seeing him come back. If HoB dies somehow, he's still not coming back.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
09/26/2002 01:31 PM

Maybe if you lift the under 18 ban?



And throw the swearbot in the Shakespeareter?



And hide our IPs again?

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/26/2002 01:31 PM

well it's certainly keeping gab talking about hob. Which is a bit more pathetic since Gab isn't a splinter group from HOB.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 01:32 PM

Ford will be back eventually, one way or another.

I'm Too Sexy For This Goldfish 12,287 12
09/26/2002 01:32 PM

The best part is how this isn't degrading into a seventh grade match of "she said... and THEN she said... but wait until you hear when she said..."

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 01:40 PM

<Action>goes to read HoB</action>

Told ya so.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
09/26/2002 01:47 PM

Thank you for pointing that out, DR.



I'd like to think that at some point John will realize that those measures were bad for his bottom line and he revokes them. Some of his best posters tolerate them and continue to post as much as ever, some like me check in once in a while, and many of the best simply refuse to return because of them.



Tough cookies, John. You made your bed.

Sleestack 30,342 13
09/26/2002 01:48 PM

Yes, heaven knows how much the swearbot has stunted our ability to communicate. I used to be able to complete a paragraph. Now I

salvage 28,986 12
09/26/2002 01:49 PM

... and Ford peed all over the sheets.

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 01:51 PM

You guys take yourselves WAY to seriously.



This is an asinine thread.



And I should know, being asinine myself.



Boo!

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 01:54 PM

You be it's real.



John's having one of his meglomaniacal days.

Therlin, tastes like Chickens 12,200 13
09/26/2002 02:03 PM

He made me the man I am today.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
09/26/2002 02:08 PM

Hey, I just thought he was funny and he knew how to keep things lively.



Wherever he is, I just think that if we can all show that we care, he might pay us a visit now and again.

Sleestack 30,342 13
09/26/2002 02:10 PM

I think the chicken hat's on too tight.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:10 PM

shouldn't you be posting my article right about now?

Retard Mole, CaN'T Sepll Eitthr 5,357 10
09/26/2002 02:10 PM

John,

you know were he is, he is off hating you at HOB.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:12 PM

sorry john, that came off a little more h8ful than i thought.



but i have to agree with the others, bringing Ford back would involve him swallowing a thanksgiving feast's worth of pride. i think you should post a public apology on HoB. that might do the trick.

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/26/2002 02:12 PM

HE'S ON CODESLAVES BOARD

I'm Too Sexy For This Goldfish 12,287 12
09/26/2002 02:12 PM

You do realize that half the GABbers here will ever take you seriously with that ridiculous personalized icon, right John?



The other half is too busy being pissed off that they don't have their wn personalized icons.



Hey, I'm here to point out the ridonkulously obvious. You're welcome.

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/26/2002 02:13 PM

Apologize and repent would be step #1

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 02:13 PM

John, did you know that Codeslave started his own message board called "House of Bugs" and several former gabbers post there now? Ford included.



It's true!



It's like bizzaro gab. Basically the same as here only it's not specificly a comedy board so people can have serious threads and stuff. They're having a secret santa and everything!



How come we don't have a secret santa?

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:14 PM

*eyes are bleeding



OK, everyone just stop!

Neal Obstat 2,492 11
09/26/2002 02:16 PM

John shoots himself in the foot.





























Again.





































Repeat.

Retard Mole, CaN'T Sepll Eitthr 5,357 10
09/26/2002 02:17 PM

Hell I am a N00B and I know were Ford & Moon are, John I think the power is going to your head.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
09/26/2002 02:19 PM

I'm in shock, really.



I was thinking the other day how John has kept his mouth shut about the whole HOB thing and good on him for keeping out of it.



Now I think he's just super ignorant.



Blissfully unaware!



I mean really!

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 02:20 PM

hey 1bigdork, NO.



Seriously.

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:20 PM

Hey, I just thought he was funny and he knew how to keep things lively.



Only if by funny, you mean NOT funny and by knowing how to keep things lively, you mean argumentative.



Someone's becoming transparent and it's not me.



Largely because I already am transparent.



Let's bring back AL. Now there's a valuable contributor.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:21 PM

i'm still not convinced this is entirely serious. maybe john got lucky and he's just in a really good mood....

19,936 13
09/26/2002 02:21 PM

*plugs his ears*



LA LA LA LA I can't hear you! LA LA LALA

Adrian Von Buttcrack 13,341 13
09/26/2002 02:21 PM

Ford, come back! All is forgiven. Well, the whole "shaving my cat thing" is not forgiven, but come back anyway.

Crickette, M-23 2,472 12
09/26/2002 02:22 PM

Please, for the love of all that is unholy, no.







I get enough of Ford's women-hating on the other board.

Sleestack 30,342 13
09/26/2002 02:24 PM

FORD IS DEAD TO US NOW. DON'T YOU GET IT?!? (throttle throttle throttle)



"Let the name of Ford be stricken from every thread and conversation. Stricken from every article and userlog of GAB. Let the name of Ford be unheard and unspoken, erased from the memory of man, for all time."



(drumbeats, Charton Heston staggers out)

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:24 PM

Ford only hates women because they won't sleep with him.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 02:24 PM

Maybe those Pod People sightings in the greater Boston area are true after all.



WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL JOHN HARGRAVE?

Just Plain Meniketti 19,242 12
09/26/2002 02:27 PM

What are you talking about? Ford is banned!

Neal Obstat 2,492 11
09/26/2002 02:28 PM

DO NOT insult the Pod.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:28 PM

well, the IP matches this morning's article, but it's different from the one in yesterday's articles thread. curious.



unless john, like me, posts from more than one computer. but it's still odd that yesterday afternoon he was at one address and this afternoon he's at another.



unless he's got some dynamic IP thing goin' on.

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:30 PM

To the person who unclicked my "funny" click:



You are a tool.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 02:31 PM

Dude, John runs a website. Those banner ads RAKE in the dough.



Yesterday he was probably posting from his home in Malibu and today he's posting from his villa in Tuscany.



If the subnet is 126.194.201.xxx it means he's in the ZugJet at 40,000 feet.

Vex Chackles of Luv 5,948 11
09/26/2002 02:31 PM

You do realize that Ford is masturbating furiously to this thread.



He made John beg. It's better than autoerotic asphyxiation, ain't it, Ford?

Just Plain Meniketti 19,242 12
09/26/2002 02:31 PM

Shut up and take a bath you smelly arab.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:33 PM

If the subnet is 126.194.201.xxx it means he's in the ZugJet at 40,000 feet.



sometimes it pays for john to keep his interests...mobile.

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:35 PM

Shut up and take a bath you smelly arab.



I still won't sleep with you until you move out of your mom's basement.



And even then I won't.

onion 12,319 12
09/26/2002 02:39 PM

i don't give a rat's ass either way if ford comes back and fills the board with his brand of illogical and ill-concealed self-aggrandizing diatribes.



what's curious to me is why john has taken such an interest in his return. if he wants him to come back, why does he give a crap what we think? he knows just as much as anyone what a controversial character ford was-- appealing this issue to us seems contrary to the fact that he runs the board. if he wants ford back, he can take other measures than this meager thread asking for us to back him up.



he also knows why ford and the rest decided to leave. why is this focused on ford? why not evilpanda? or moon? or postbear? and how can he ask any of them to come back when he supposedly caused them to leave in the first place? and if sincere, how can he offer not so much as an apology or acknowledgement of the separation that exists now?



i think it's a hoax.



and i still don't like ford.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:41 PM

<action>gasps</action>

she speaks the truth!



i smell a rat, too, onion.

Just Plain Meniketti 19,242 12
09/26/2002 02:42 PM

That's quite a relief, you smelly arab.

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:43 PM

*kisses Onion



Sing it sister.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:45 PM

it seems to me that ford and john have secretly conspired to make ford's return seem spontaneous and innocent. john's threads the last couple of days are just meant to soften us up. if ford starts posting again soon, you'll know i'm right.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 02:46 PM

Some day I'm going to marry Onion.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
09/26/2002 02:46 PM

she speaks the truth!



Kill her!

Just Plain Meniketti 19,242 12
09/26/2002 02:46 PM

Ford has been posting. He cracked Marilyn's account.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:47 PM

Some day I'm going to marry Dead Robot.

onion 12,319 12
09/26/2002 02:47 PM

gee, wonder who on earth could have possibly sipped me.



ya think?

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 02:48 PM

Better do it soon, Salsa.

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:48 PM

Some day I'm going to marry Onion.



Just make sure that day coincides with the day she loses all her standards and capacity for sound judgement, and you'll be all set.

shoelace414 10,080 13
09/26/2002 02:49 PM

If I leave woudl people talk about me?



<sigh> MY NAME IS SHOELACE414! I've been here since about episode 70 of Computer stew! hello?

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:51 PM

anyone else get the feeling that john started this thread just to stress-test the GAB engine?









anyone else get the feeling that i have nothing better to do with my time than think up absurd conspiracy theories?

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 02:51 PM

We just ignore you because you don't count.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 02:52 PM

I'm pretty sure that day happened the day she first posted to GAb, MArilyn.



Although it could have been sooner, judging by the wallpaper in that picture Dead Robot has.

Feeble, possessed by the demon Chackens 32,400 15
09/26/2002 02:54 PM

You know, I wouldn't put it past Ford to hack into John's account and start this thread. That would REALLY amuse him.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 02:56 PM

once again, feeble uses the scientific method to come up with a theory that best suits the facts at hand.

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/26/2002 02:57 PM

"gee, wonder who on earth could have possibly sipped me.



ya think? -(link to thread saying for's not banned"



Nah. It was me. I like Ford.

onion 12,319 12
09/26/2002 02:58 PM

oh yeah.



okay.



didn't know you were about today, scoot.

Vex Chackles of Luv 5,948 11
09/26/2002 02:58 PM

feeble uses the scientific method



He's a Bible-thumper. We know he likes a good myth.

Vex Chackles of Luv 5,948 11
09/26/2002 02:59 PM

Scooter has lots of h8. He's given out as many Maha's as evil otto's.



Scooter, didn't your mama play with your balls enough when you were little?

Neal Obstat 2,492 11
09/26/2002 03:00 PM

I use Creation Science to lube my orthinopter.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
09/26/2002 03:02 PM

I'd rather see Moon and Sockk come back. Ford is awfully overbearing.



Hell, I'd rather see Postbear come back. Or Evil Panda. Urkel! I want Urkel back!

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/26/2002 03:03 PM

I'm well balanced like the Tao.

Vex Chackles of Luv 5,948 11
09/26/2002 03:05 PM

You shoulda said well-hung.



That would've been funny!

Crickette, M-23 2,472 12
09/26/2002 03:11 PM

But it would've been a lie.

Vex Chackles of Luv 5,948 11
09/26/2002 03:12 PM

But funny, still, right Crickette?



Oh, how'd you laugh and laaaaugh!

Doc 7,105 13
09/26/2002 04:07 PM

I didn't bother reading the thread, but John, have the page views dropped THAT much since he left? I guess all the arguing had *one* good ben--



*banned*

Declan McManus 131,867 36
09/26/2002 04:10 PM

Ford's okay-



but I am a Daimler-Chrysler sorta guy.







Pannnnda, come home.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 04:12 PM

Doc, you should read the thread. John doesn't care about traffic. He actually likes Ford and he has no idea where he's gone to.

Sleestack 30,342 13
09/26/2002 04:14 PM

A teary pillow is his every night.



There, there, little Hargrave.

Doc 7,105 13
09/26/2002 04:15 PM

I can't accept that he'd want to do that for Ford over me.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
09/26/2002 04:52 PM

I know this sounds like I'm making it up, but I honestly had no idea that Ford supposedly hated me. Lots of people say lots of things, and it all kind of runs together sometimes. Why, just this week we had a very pleasant and civil e-mail exchange.



However, I don't think there's any pride to swallow, because many people have left our community over the years, then have come back. Heck, even our own Al Natanagara swore off GAB back in its second year, then eventually came back. And that was good, because we like having Al around.



Similarly, I just thought more of you would say you liked Ford; his controversialness added a lively spice to GAB.

Vex Chackles of Luv 5,948 11
09/26/2002 04:54 PM

They can't come right out and admit to having little Ford Prefect shrines in their living rooms, thought, Books McGee.



Ford's expanding ego would suck up all the air and we'd all suffocate and die.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
09/26/2002 04:54 PM

added a lively spice to GAB









yeah, habanero cut with hydrochloric acid

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 04:54 PM

i'm giggling to myself imagining John's reactions upon reading this thread.



"Why...I didn't...that's not... I never! ...NOW THAT'S JUST SICK!"

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
09/26/2002 04:54 PM

Boy, you sure were wrong, weren't you?

Doc 7,105 13
09/26/2002 04:56 PM

Ha ha! Clickies all around!

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 04:57 PM

See, I know Ford as well as anyone. On the outside he's all "I hate John Hargrave and I hate gab and I hate Computer Stew" and all that but deep down he just wants to be loved.



IS THAT SO WRONG?

Bonky 75,728 15
09/26/2002 05:07 PM

I like Ford, but I don't care if he comes back. I speak to him via AIM occasionally without all the ca-ca. Mind you, ca-ca can be fun.







I say, petition to bring Elvis back.

Thems was fun days!

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 05:09 PM

According to Ford he's truely happy he is rid of this place.



Petitioning him to come back is like trying to talk an AA member into having a drink. It's probably not a good idea. not just for the reformed alcoholic, but for the other patrons of the bar.

Bonky 75,728 15
09/26/2002 05:10 PM

He wants to go where everybody knows his name.

Doc 7,105 13
09/26/2002 05:11 PM

I still think when you liken GAB to the horribleness of being an alcoholic in today's day and age, you've got sick sick issues.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 05:12 PM

<Action>hides his last twelve posts in the Goodwill Box

Bonky 75,728 15
09/26/2002 05:12 PM

<action> gets drunk.

Bonky 75,728 15
09/26/2002 05:13 PM

<action> falls down.

Bonky 75,728 15
09/26/2002 05:13 PM

<action> gets back up.

Bonky 75,728 15
09/26/2002 05:14 PM

<action> crashes a plane into this thread.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 05:15 PM

<action>remembers The Heros Of The Ford Thread

Declan McManus 131,867 36
09/26/2002 05:16 PM

"she takes a cider drink, she takes a whisky drink"

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 05:19 PM

Similarly, I just thought more of you would say you liked Ford; his controversialness added a lively spice to GAB.



Only if by like you mean are annoyed by, and only if by contraversialness you mean sexual harrassment.



Then it's all true.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
09/26/2002 05:21 PM

By the way, Nutbutter, I thought the concept of a ZugJet was very funny. All the pilots would fly drunk.

Stinky 7,952 12
09/26/2002 05:22 PM

I'm not a fan of Ford, but I wouldn't mind if he came back. He was mildly entertaining at times, like watching somebody in a wheelchair try to go down stairs.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 05:27 PM

his controversialness added a lively spice to GAB.



Ok, that does it. What have you done with the Real John Hargrave?



John, you're always telling us we need to be more friendly. You're always saying we need more humor and less fighting. Just yesterday you hollered at us for all the in-jokes.



Now you're saying Ford being here, and all the fighting it caused, was good for this place?



I enjoyed a lot of Ford's posts. I thought he could be very funny sometimes and I don't think I'd have a problem if he came back, although I see no reason to beg or even ask him to come back. He'll come back if and when he's ready to come back.



Please forgive our ignorance, but this thread seems very unlike you and very uncharacteristic of the direction we all thought you wanted Gab to go in.



Also, there's no way in hell I'll believe you don't lurk on House of Bugs once in a while.



This thread is just plain weird

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/26/2002 05:29 PM

you're right, nutty. every time i read this thread i feel like i'm in an episode of The Outer Limits or something.

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 05:38 PM

Everytime I read this thread I want to punch John upside his face.



But that's just me.

Sleestack 30,342 13
09/26/2002 05:41 PM

John's on the pipe! Just say no, John!



Turn away from the pipe!

Don't go toward the pipe!



(presses hands on static-filled TV)

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
09/26/2002 05:45 PM

Marilyn - how is that different from any other thread, and how is John different than any other Gabber?







And "punch in the face" I assume is terrorist code language for "strap 3 kilos of C-4 to my body and detonate myself while standing next to them".

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
09/26/2002 05:46 PM

Anyway, Ford has said some really nasty things about John, but maybe he didn't mean them. Sometimes people say mean stuff for the funny, on Gab or on HoB or in e-mails.



Except me. I never say mean stuff to anyone who isn't eeeeevvvvvullllll.

Stinky 7,952 12
09/26/2002 05:47 PM

I always wanted to punch John in the face...then he would be temporarily blinded and I could take his wife.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 05:48 PM

The ZugJet

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 05:48 PM

(and free clickies to whoever can identify that cockpit)

Marilyn 12,471 13
09/26/2002 05:59 PM

Um. This is going to sound bad, what with me being an arab and all.



But I know. I know!

Dead Robot 67,630 16
09/26/2002 06:03 PM

It's your crapper isn't Nuttbutter?

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/26/2002 06:04 PM

I wish.

brother bill 1,905 13
09/26/2002 06:07 PM

Who's Ford?

Just Plain Meniketti 19,242 12
09/26/2002 06:07 PM

Isn't that Mohammed Atta's cockpit?

Doc 7,105 13
09/26/2002 06:08 PM

I'm tellin' ya, it's the pageviews, man, it's page views.



Next week, on Gab!



John: You know, we should really bring back the Mahari--



*mass emigration to HoB*

Doc 7,105 13
09/26/2002 06:09 PM

You know, if we keep this up, John's gonna get all pissed and go over HoB and not talk to us anymore.

Just Plain Meniketti 19,242 12
09/26/2002 06:10 PM

He's planning on shutting GAB down anyway.

The Lady Trixxie 65,021 15
09/26/2002 10:08 PM

Frost Ford, I want Red and Holiday Hogan to come back, and by Red, I mean Pobble.

Just Plain Meniketti 19,242 12
09/26/2002 10:38 PM

I want BonerTheClown and PeePeeTheSailor to come back.

Stinky 7,952 12
09/26/2002 11:24 PM

*looks for is very small violen*

The Lady Trixxie 65,021 15
09/26/2002 11:26 PM

Bring Ford back to What ? Sanity ? Non-retardation, I would sign those, I'd sign them Stinky, but I'd sign.

Cookie Puss 10,666 13
09/27/2002 01:09 AM

Frost Ford, Frost him up his ass.















I didn't read past 5 posts to this thread, so if it's been said already, oh Frost-ing well.

I'm Leppy, and I'm a GABaholic. 12,056 12
09/27/2002 01:34 AM

Ford is the reason at the end that I got onto cs. He was involved in real interesting discussions with Squems and others that made this place more interesting than it ever has been, both by using intelligent ideas, but also by providing dozens of comedic aspects to draw on.

I'm Leppy, and I'm a GABaholic. 12,056 12
09/27/2002 01:34 AM

Come back, Ford

AmyPoo: All up in your kool-aid 2,710 12
09/27/2002 01:46 AM

i want that tommy the dingleberry guy to come back.

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
09/27/2002 02:09 AM

WHARE'S CRACKBREE?!!

Doc 7,105 13
09/27/2002 02:27 AM

And when is Doc going to come back?!!





Wait, who the hell is Doc? He's only got what??





... what happened to it?

Candie Kohrne, Complexis superioso 8,640 15
09/27/2002 02:31 AM

Heh heh.

Feeble, Iraqi Weapons Inspector #27 32,400 15
09/27/2002 08:45 AM

People who should come back:



Ford.

Pobble, but not at the same time as Ford.

The Dirty Vicar.

Vertical Bob.

Mike Moon, at least long enough to do the MMNN.

My sanity, at least occasionally.

Cap'n Stuby 17,826 13
09/27/2002 09:01 AM

I love Hargrave (in several unhealthy ways), but he seems to be GAB's equivalent of Commandant Lassard-blissfully unaware of what's going on and only occasionally popping in to enact some inane rule or throw out a trite comment.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 09:27 AM

He's like the pointy-headed boss of Gab.



I miss Urkel too. And Vertical Bob. And Moon. And Marvin the Robot. And that Half Yarble guy.

Ms. Trixxie LeMay, Huricane Isadore Survivor 65,021 15
09/27/2002 09:59 AM

Why did Urkle leave ???

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
09/27/2002 09:59 AM

THe only way I see that you can make this place better is to ask Ford to have Butnutter and Squeamish join him in his absents (and with any luck, abstinence. The last thing we need is mini-Emersons like them running around this earth.) Ford doesn't need to be here. I kinda like being able to come here without some hornytoad asking if he can "fly" over and see me.....nude.

jellytot 3,504 11
09/27/2002 10:01 AM

Do you think if we lured Ford back and wrote lots of articles he'd give us personalised icons?

jellytot 3,504 11
09/27/2002 10:03 AM

John that is, not ford.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/27/2002 10:03 AM

Do you think if we lured Ford back and wrote lots of articles he'd give us personalised icons?



nope.

Vex Chackles of Luv 5,948 11
09/27/2002 10:04 AM

He'd probably just reconfigure GAB to include a mandatory prayer or blessing at the end of each post.



*Have a God-blessed day!*

John Hargrave 128,742 73
09/27/2002 10:41 AM

OK, we have five votes for Ford returning, two votes against, a few undecided, and one "I don't give a rat's ass" (thank you Onion). Anybody else care to weigh in?



This is like the time that the nation voted on whether Andy Kaufman should return to Saturday Night Live.

froglord 9,243 13
09/27/2002 10:48 AM

Voting seems to be a non-issue since Ford has said that he is not coming back. He lurks occassionally but says he won't return to posting.



Of course, he might change his mind.

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
09/27/2002 10:52 AM

This is like the time that the nation voted on whether Andy Kaufman should return to Saturday Night Live.



With the exception that Andy was funny

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/27/2002 10:55 AM

a house divided cannot stand. lincoln in '04!



i say bring him back.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 10:56 AM

Ford currently posts on HoB as Tony Clifton, a slightly less arrogant version of Ford.

Feeble, possessed by the demon Chackens 32,400 15
09/27/2002 10:58 AM

If we ask him enough times to post as Lafka, will he retaliate by typing in all of "War and Peace"?

Neal Obstat 2,492 11
09/27/2002 11:01 AM

Has he switched meds again?

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
09/27/2002 03:06 PM

Ford has been posting. He cracked Marilyn's account



Jesus Christ!! I just had a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich, then I see you posting about Marilyn's crack. Thanks buddy, everytime I see a brown paisty susstance with lumpy red stuff oozing out of it, I'll be haunted by the thought of her crack.

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
09/27/2002 03:07 PM

add a "b" in there.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 03:10 PM

How about if I add a clue in there instead?

Chouggy, Thumb Boy 5,183 13
09/27/2002 03:43 PM

I leave for one day and you guys start a fvckin' Ford love in!!?



I think everyone should come back, even Kenshin.



*hides under his desk*

Squeamish 38,986 14
09/27/2002 03:46 PM

Of the people that matter (Ford) we have 0 votes for "coming back" and 1 vote for "not coming back."



With all precincts counted, it's unanimous.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/27/2002 03:52 PM

has Ford mentioned any of this to anyone, on HoB or IM or anything?



if he swore you to secrecy, it's cool. i promised not to tell anyone about his collection of first-edition Nancy Drew books, and he didn't care about that.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 03:54 PM

Yes, ford has mentioned that he thinks John Hargrave is a massive tool.

Squeamish 38,986 14
09/27/2002 03:55 PM

Ford Prefect

09/26/2002 01:57 PM

reply branch



I AM NOT GOING TO POST TO GAB.

onion 12,319 12
09/27/2002 04:51 PM

heh.



he writes a rather fordesque tome detailing how mormons can be excommunicated.



then he wraps it all up nicely in a final paragraph likening GAB, a comedy messageboard, to the mormon church.



obviously this is a logical mindset we're dealing with here.

onion 12,319 12
09/27/2002 04:53 PM

breaky?

onion 12,319 12
09/27/2002 04:53 PM

no breaky.

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/27/2002 04:54 PM

actually he wrote about mormons leaving the church and the attitude of the mormon church towards it. Nothing about excommunication.

Feeble, possessed by the demon Chackens 32,400 15
09/27/2002 04:55 PM

onion - are you wearing your sacred "post to Gab" undergarments? Because if you aren't, we're sending you to HoB.

Doc 7,105 13
09/27/2002 04:56 PM

He is dealing with the massive quantities of skin over fat ration that fat men get when they lose a lot of fat. It's disturbing and unsettling. You've got more nerve endings on the outside of your body, than a body your size should have, it leads to hypersensitivity.

onion 12,319 12
09/27/2002 04:58 PM

and somehow that causes it to make more sense? likening GAB to religion is... guh. i can't even come up with a cute similie. it's freakish and weird and HoB can keep him, man.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 04:59 PM

I'm obsessed with this place more than anyone and even I would never compare it to a religion or let it piss me off for real.

Feeble, possessed by the demon Chackens 32,400 15
09/27/2002 05:18 PM

Ford takes life in general a little more seriously than you, Nuttles.



I guarantee that his sense of humor is not warped enough to let him name a kid "Seamus".

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 05:25 PM

Nor is it boring enough to keep making the same Seamus joke over and over again.

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/27/2002 05:29 PM

you obviously missed the entire concept of his post.

SalsaShark 6,518 11
09/27/2002 05:30 PM

i knew a kid in high school who took everything in life way too seriously. i didn't see him very much when we went to different colleges, 'cause by the time i graduated high school he'd seriously freaked me out. a few years later, i read in the paper that he was arrested for discharging a shotgun into the air during an argument with his brother about who should be invited to a party they were throwing.



i don't know what this has to do with ford, but i like to tell stories.

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/27/2002 05:30 PM

also, I don't think 'logic' means what you think it means.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 05:31 PM

No, I get it, Scooter.



If someone is addicted to something so much that it becomes a problem, good for them for kicking the habit.



My point is if he's letting things piss him off that much then something is wrong. It's not Gab's fault he feels the way he does.

Doc 7,105 13
09/27/2002 05:34 PM

Uh, I know I've been gone awhile, but when did Gab stop becoming a website on the internet that I went to to make funny?

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/27/2002 05:35 PM

he was saying that a lot of the the people on Gab are the kind of idiots that go to church. He was insulting you. Onion double because actually does go to church.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 05:36 PM

When you left, Doc.

The Light Switch of Total Devestation 19,936 13
09/27/2002 05:37 PM

Doc: when John banned the minors, made the swearbot mandatory, added a rating system, and started posting IPs.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
09/27/2002 05:39 PM

he was saying that a lot of the the people on Gab are the kind of idiots that go to church. He was insulting you. Onion double because actually does go to church.



That's crazytalk!

Jinx.tv 5,835 13
09/27/2002 05:57 PM

If Ford won't come to the GAB, how about the GAB goes to Ford?



Everyone, including John, should go post to HoB. John can make a www.zug.com/hob/ page which is HoB in a Zug frame...it will be fun.

Doc 7,105 13
09/27/2002 07:40 PM

But wouldn't that piss off all types of people?







Haha! Let's do it, an authentic Gab board invasion! Woo hoooooo!!



I love it.

Doc 7,105 13
09/27/2002 07:41 PM

The implications are simply staggering.

Feeble, Iraqi Weapons Inspector #27 32,400 15
09/29/2002 09:59 PM

We could go flood their board. Everyone sign in with several new identities and start stupid threads about stupid things (which for me is pretty easy). Then, John writes an article about the 'prank', and we all give it uber-clickies, and it becomes the funniest article ever, or at least for the month, and goes out to all the erstwhile Gabbers in their monthly newsletter.









Oh yes, I'm certain that would make them all like John again and want to come back.

Ms. Trixxie LeMay, Huricane Isadore Survivor 65,021 15
09/30/2002 09:52 AM

The ranking system was already here, when they left.

Admiral Feeble 32,400 15
09/30/2002 09:56 AM

I know that the ranking system has been around for a while. I was talking about how happy codeslave would be that we flooded his board and then bragged about it. Flooding boards is not a nice thing to do....

John Hargrave 128,742 73
12/05/2002 04:19 PM

I guess it worked.

Trae (please return me to my upright position) 156,785 17
12/05/2002 04:21 PM

It was only a matter of time....































before someone resurrected this thread. He posted once. BFD! Jeez people, go back to counting the days until LOTR: TTT comes out.

Ford Prefect 5,475 13
12/05/2002 04:21 PM

You had me at "consistently funniest and most valuable contributors."

ringworm 68,315 13
08/08/2004 08:36 PM

now log in so i can click you.

Livewire 78,229 13
08/09/2004 12:34 AM

Now clog in so I can lick you.

Pants 14,252 17
08/09/2004 12:38 AM

Ford's dead now let's all move on.

ringworm 68,315 13
08/09/2004 12:39 AM

<action>doesn't dance.</action>

Lezbox 14,650 10
08/09/2004 04:34 AM

200th to poast!!!!!1!!!11!!

Fr0d Prefect 4 7
06/09/2005 05:39 PM

Yeah baby. What time is it?

Ditdah, only 37 days away! 123,102 14
06/09/2005 06:09 PM

Wait a minute - JOHN USED TO POST???

Aroungry Aroungry Aimless 54,807 10
06/09/2005 06:10 PM

Yeah baby. What time is it?



Hammer Time!! Can't touch this dun dundundun duuunnnn dunnnnn

BlaiseMilla 67,035 13
06/09/2005 06:11 PM

Why doesn't this have anything to do with viagara for sex offenders in Kansas

The Fabulous Trixxie 65,021 15
09/30/2005 10:50 AM

Bump, and yes I am stirring Shakespeare.

Phuc 237,915 21
09/30/2005 10:53 AM

<action>wafts</action>

The Fabulous Trixxie 65,021 15
09/30/2005 10:54 AM

Vote early and vote often

Fratberry 282,305 53
09/30/2005 10:54 AM

Worst. Bump. Ever.

Ditdah, Vlaccid Roadie & Hottie Spotter 123,102 14
09/30/2005 10:54 AM

Like anyone even carse anymore....

Ditdah, Vlaccid Roadie & Hottie Spotter 123,102 14
09/30/2005 10:55 AM

Dammit Trix, you got me so flustered I forgot how to spell!

The Fabulous Trixxie 65,021 15
09/30/2005 10:56 AM

I am still drunk from last night and thinking when I come down I'm gonna have a horrible hangover, so I'm being a bitch.

Fratberry 282,305 53
09/30/2005 10:57 AM

You're always a bitch, though.

The Fabulous Trixxie 65,021 15
09/30/2005 11:01 AM

am not!

dropkick brody 43,090 12
09/30/2005 11:05 AM

<action> pulls up a seat to watch the hair pulling and 'my dad could beat up your dad' threats </action>