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Ever wonder what happened to some people that makes them a few fries short of a happy meal? You see them walking down the street talking to themselves, shaking their heads and very angry. Perhaps I have one theory that may have caused many grown men to lose their minds. It is a goverment agency called the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle), or as I like to call it, The Departmant of Mindless Vegetables.
It all started last week, I was long over due for a new license. When I lost my car, I never got my licenses renewed and it was a good 6 months past due. I was new to Georgia so I grabbed my proof of address (a bill), military ID, and expired drivers license. I drove 10 miles to the nearest GA DMV office and stood in line for about 30 minutes at the information desk. Finally my turn came and as I eagerly submitted my information to the mindless vegetable, who looked like a typical DMV employee, trashy and ugly as hell, started this debate:
MV - "I need your birth certificate, SIR."
Spaz - "I have my military ID"
MV - "We do not accept IDs from the military goverment"
Spaz - "Why not?"
MV - "We just don't, SIR"
Spaz - "Ya know, I can fake a birth certificate easier than a military ID"
MV - "SIR, please come back when you have a Birth certificate"
Great, so I found the local Vital records office, which was about 40 miles away, thank GOD I was born in GA.
I arrive at the VR Office and submit my military ID and quickly receive my Birth certificate. Great service, thanks. However, they looked a lot like DMV workers.
I return the next day with my papers and IDs only to be told by a new and uglier mindless vegetable that because I have an out of state, expired license I will have to take the written and driving test again. I said, "But, i have been driving for ten years, is that not good enough for you?". The mindless vegetable replied, "State Law, SIR! But you will have to come back tommorow because it is raining outside and we don't give driving tests in the rain." Great, it is only raining all week!
The next day happened to have a rain break, so I went back and took my test and my driving test and passed with flying colors! OHH, SURPRISE!!! Sometimes I get the impression that these mindless vegetables do not really wanna be at work during the times they are scheduled.
Well, you would think since I passed everything, it would be pretty easy from there right? Wrong. I was informed in a very strict and direct way that my license has been suspended and that I can not be issued a license. "Suspended? For WHAT??"
"Sir, for cancelling your insurance policy" she replied. That is when I got a little upset and remarked, "I cancelled my insurance LADY, because I no longer had a car!" She didn't like my tone of voice, and told me I will have to go to another DMV office because they can't reinstate my license.
Well, there was still time to make it to the other DMV office, about 20 miles away. I rush there to make by 3:40pm, plenty of time for these guys to hook me up. I stood in line for another 30 minutes, next to screaming babies and icky people that smelled like sour milk, beer and cigarettes. People coughing in my face and sneezing, wheeew! I finally made it to one of those helpul mindless vegetables only to be told, he couldn't help me, and I needed to go to the another room that handled reinstatements. "opps, looks like they closed at 4pm though" he bravely said. I said "You mean to tell me, I stood in this &$%@$# line for 30 minutes when I could have been helped! How about putting a ^%$#% sign some where so we can know ahead of time." He replied, "Sir, it is not that I don't want you to get your license, ok. It isn't my fault!" Whatever you mindless vegetable, go home and watch your Jerry springer and smoke your crack.
So, the only place that would handle reinstatements on a saturday was about 40 miles away. I drove up there and waited for an hour in a very uncomfortable platic seat. Finally my number was called B134, like I was playing some sort of super bingo. Every 10 seconds or so there was another bingo number going over the intercom system. I wanted to stand up and scream BINGO!, but I didn't. Sorry John.
To make a long story short, I finally got my drivers license. I spent about 3 hours there waiting for the other mindless vegetable to sned these mindless vegetables a fax, which I figured the odds of them knowing how to work a fax were slim. Seems I was right. They never got the fax, so they had to get verbal approval on my test scores. Here is an idea, TYPE THEM IN THE %$^$# DATABASE. I mean you even knew what kind of car I had make and model in your database. How hard is it to add a test score section. Mindless vegetables must have developed their database.
I would like to know if any of you have had these sorts of trouble with the DMV. Is so, post it so we can share the tragety with you.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
9 votes
5.0
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13 Comments on "The DMV: A Horror Story"
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=585231
shoelace414 10,080  13
10/01/2002 01:24 PM
So you were driving all over Georgia trying to get a drivers licence? you shoudl have been on public transportation you law breaker.
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0 votes
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Bad Grammar & Splleing Mole ! 5,357 10
10/01/2002 01:55 PM
So what you are saying is the DMV have Mindless Vegetables working there?
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=585315
Crickette, M-18 2,472 12
10/01/2002 03:15 PM
This year the DMV told me that the birth certificate I've been using my whole life wasn't my real birth certificate.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=585389
Disabuser 3,439 11
10/01/2002 03:50 PM
You have a bad attitude and obviously haven't learned your lesson.
You're fortunate that they were patient with you and didn't send you to jail.
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0 votes
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Chackens Dantes 286,208 61
10/01/2002 04:00 PM
GOVERMENT Frost-ing WORKERS AAAAAAAKKKKKKKK.
I feel your pain.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=585416
Chackens Dantes 286,208 61
10/01/2002 04:01 PM
On the other hand, I seem to know how to stroke the vegitables in just the right way. My wife can go in and will leave in a fuming rant. I can get sent in on the same mission with the same credentials and walk out with needed form in hand. She hates that.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=585774
jellytot 3,504 11
10/02/2002 07:42 AM
What you need my friend is an English accent.
I waited an hour in the wrong queue for my social security number when I was working in the states. The woman who was serving me seemed to think I had come all the way from England specifically that day to get it. She personally took me to the right office, walked me to the head of the queue and sorted me out.
The hatred when she closed her window to do that and told all the poor bastards behind me to join the other queue was palpable. I fully expected to meet a lynch mob in the corridor.
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0 votes
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Stormtrooper in Drag 17,582 13
10/02/2002 08:07 AM
Wanker!
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=585780
I'm changing my name. 86,684 14
10/02/2002 08:16 AM
Once I went to renew my license and the picture they took of me was absolutely HORRID!
I haven't been back since!
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=586726
AmyPoo: All up in your kool-aid 2,710 12
10/03/2002 12:37 AM
when i moved from maine to florida the accidents on my record somehow magically disappeared!
but when i went to get my license changed over, i locked my keys in the car at the dmv.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=586893
Crickette, M-16 2,472 12
10/03/2002 12:10 PM
I've had 2 speeding tickets (one being reckless driving) just disappear from my record.
They didn't appear on my NC driving record (or at least didn't when Geico checked it), and I didn't have my Virginia license yet.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=586963
Hyperspaz: Lord of Battlefield 1942 3,290 11
10/03/2002 12:58 PM
Is that cause you slept with the entire NYC police department in one night?
Or perhaps you hacked their mainframe using some sort of buffer overflow to gain access and then proceeded to delete records.
Or maybe your tickets have expired in their database. Ya know, because after like 7 years or something they take those off your record.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=588347
Jinx.tv 5,835 13
10/04/2002 11:48 PM
Yargh...please don't ask me for my experiences with the DMV. Let's just say I don't have a Mass. license because they are such bastards, I have tried numerous times, taken (and passed) the written test four times, but they won't let me take the on-the-road test. AND they say I owe them money for a test they wouldn't let me cancel.
Their computer won't let you hold a state ID and a permit at the same time...it's quite annoying. When you get one, it cancels the other one out, and they just sit there for about 20 minutes scratching their heads and say "could you come back next week?"
I'm thinking of moving to another state.
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