Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 12:06 PM

John Hargrave ruined Zug, Tom gabbed.

Squeamish 38,986 14
10/15/2002 12:07 PM

"I could really go for some sausage," Squeamish linked.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 12:15 PM

"I just pooped on some teenage crackhead's face." Tom said Squeamishly.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 12:19 PM

"I just lost my flowers," Tom said lackadaisically.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 12:20 PM

"I'm having hot gay anal sex with the court jokester!" Tom said in jest.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/15/2002 12:20 PM

What's a Tom Swiftie?

Chackens 286,208 61
10/15/2002 12:21 PM

*slowly clues in by seeing examples, but still...*

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 12:21 PM

"I enjoy having sex with barnyard animals," Tom admitted sheepishly.

Neal Obstat 2,492 11
10/15/2002 12:22 PM

Adverbial puns.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/15/2002 12:23 PM

"There once was a man from Nantucket," Tom started like a dork.

Squeamish 38,986 14
10/15/2002 12:24 PM

No

Chackens 286,208 61
10/15/2002 12:24 PM

Thanks, Neal. I took a guess.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/15/2002 12:25 PM

yea, mine doesn't really work.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 12:29 PM

Goatherd*s kids need a nanny

Disabuser 3,439 11
10/15/2002 12:57 PM

"I just plunged a letter opener into my right eye." Tom said pointedly.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 12:57 PM

"This thread sucks", said Tom boldly.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 01:00 PM

These pickles aren*t sour enough, Tom noted acidly.

Merkin 10,008 13
10/15/2002 01:01 PM

"    ," Tom said silently.

Werehamster 2,321 13
10/15/2002 01:04 PM

"I'll never stick my hand in the lion's cage again," said Tom offhandedly.



"I just passed my electrocardiogram," said Tom wholeheartedly.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 01:10 PM

"Boy are we hungry! HAHAHAHA!," Tom and his friends said jointly.

I'm Too Sexy For This Goldfish 12,287 12
10/15/2002 01:18 PM

"Hey! We're geese!" said Tom and his pals gaggledly.



</sperel>

Goddess to some, Whore to others 156,785 17
10/15/2002 01:24 PM

"I just returned from Japan", Stubby said disorientedly.



"Is this sodomy?" Trixxie asked, half in Ernest.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 01:26 PM

"I think I caught something at Gablanta," Eric clapped.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 01:28 PM

"Yes, Trixxie," Earnest choked.

I'm Too Sexy For This Goldfish 12,287 12
10/15/2002 01:28 PM

"Hey, I'm drinking coffee from a boot! By myself!" I said solely.

Goddess to some, Whore to others 156,785 17
10/15/2002 01:29 PM

"I really spend too much time on the farm." Chickens said sheepishly.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 01:30 PM

FOUL! Copying!

Merkin 10,008 13
10/15/2002 01:31 PM

"I love Barbara Streisand!" Tom exclaimed gaily.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 01:32 PM

*I just hit MegaMillions!* Tom said, winningly.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 01:33 PM

"I like to whore with the AWP", Tom camped.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 01:35 PM

*This fish is disgusting,* Tom carped.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 01:35 PM

"I stayed up so late programming and playing with my thousands of Star Wars figures I forgot to refill my Thorazine prescription," Tom said Timidly.

Disabuser 3,439 11
10/15/2002 01:47 PM

"I think I'll go pranking at the gas station with my starter pistol." John said blankly.

There once was a GABber named Gonzo 20,522 17
10/15/2002 02:16 PM

As an aside, Tom added, "I'll be over here if anyone needs me."

Sleestack 30,342 13
10/15/2002 02:20 PM

"Gee guys, I'm outta matches, so I guess I can't set myself on fire to protest China's invasion of Tibet," Tom said delightedly.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 02:22 PM

"Yeah, I'm a member of the KKK," Tom said crossly.

There once was a GABber named Gonzo 20,522 17
10/15/2002 02:26 PM

"I've lost my my autographed photo of Connie Chung!", Tom exclaimed disorientedly.

Callie Mollari. Destroyer of GAB 14,455 13
10/15/2002 02:30 PM

"Someone has moved my doorknob a quarter of an inch higher," Trixxie said anally.

There once was a GABber named Gonzo 20,522 17
10/15/2002 02:33 PM

Lucidly, Tom noted how well the defogger had worked.

Miss Trixxie (who's so happy) LeMay 65,021 15
10/15/2002 02:49 PM

Lets start a war with Iraq, Bush said Bellicoselly

Sleestack 30,342 13
10/15/2002 02:57 PM

"Maybe some club soda will get it out, " said Monica with distain.

Disabuser 3,439 11
10/15/2002 03:03 PM

"Whoa! Here comes some more!" said Bill effusively.

salvage 28,986 12
10/15/2002 03:04 PM

"I can't ejacualte" said salvage Unbecomingly.

Sleestack 30,342 13
10/15/2002 03:16 PM

"Just get out and pump the damn gas, Edith." Tom shot back.

Goddess to some, Whore to others 156,785 17
10/15/2002 03:18 PM

"Orgasms are overrated," said Trae anticlimactically.

Goddess to some, Whore to others 156,785 17
10/15/2002 03:21 PM

"You have the right to remain silent,and no you can't keep the handcuffs" said the cop arrestingly.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 03:25 PM

"I don't remember eating corn," Tom said huskily.

salvage 28,986 12
10/15/2002 03:25 PM

"I like my icon!" said salvage piggishly

Sleestack 30,342 13
10/15/2002 03:26 PM

"Lost my nose ring. Part of a set. Damn." said onion sparingly.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 04:21 PM

*my Poe*s smarter than your Poe,* Declan said cattily.







(he is! He hoarked up a hairball on the easily washed blanket, instead of the hard to wash carpeting! Daddy*s so pleased!)

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 04:30 PM

Amazingly, Tom said "I think we're lost."

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 04:35 PM

*Rainbow trout,* Bonky said doggedly.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 05:01 PM

C'mon, my corn Swiftie got no clicks?



It's funny! It's about poo!

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 05:02 PM

"Man, I've got the squirts," Tom exploded wetly.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:03 PM

It's that type of thing that's ruining gab.



Plus, you know, all that other crap you did.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 05:06 PM

John:



Click my Poe post, and I*ll click your corn post.



There.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 05:06 PM

Yeah, click whore.



*Does really zany, funny dance for everyone

Neal Obstat 2,492 11
10/15/2002 05:09 PM

"Open wide", Tom ejaculated.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:11 PM

"I wonder how my fuel supply is doing," John Denver said exhaustedly.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:12 PM

"I told you I'm not hungry!", Karen Carpenter heaved.

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 05:16 PM

"I'm about to stand up," Tom lied.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:16 PM

"Sorry about that, Chief.", Max said smartly.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:17 PM

"...and as it turns out, the whole thing was destroyed accidentally by a ten-year-old Anakin! And let me tell you about Midoclorians...", George Lucas said, like a complete and total Frost-ing moron.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:20 PM

"I'll play rock and roll for the rest of my life!", John Entwhistle snorted.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:20 PM

"So will I!", Kurt Cobain shot back

Dirk Lately 14,001 13
10/15/2002 05:20 PM

"There's room for one more," Tom admitted.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 05:22 PM

*All right, I*ll restart your Model T for you,* Henry Ford said crankily.

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/15/2002 05:30 PM

"Don't worry, they're just showers! Get in.", hitler fumed.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
10/15/2002 05:33 PM

Took ye long enough, Nuttles.

Goddess to some, Whore to others 156,785 17
10/15/2002 05:40 PM

"There's an insect in my French cheese," said Jacques briefly.

Gonzo With Bleach Alternative 20,522 17
10/15/2002 05:49 PM

"Don't talk with your mouth full!", Tom's father spat out.

G i b l B e o t n N k u y g g e t 12,005 12
10/15/2002 05:59 PM

Uhhh...Tom was like...doing things...in a certain manner...loudly?

G i b l B e o t n N k u y g g e t 12,005 12
10/15/2002 06:02 PM

Tom said "This is the worst salad bar selection I've ever seen!" but he didn't see the croutons behind the dressing, (CarrollFrostShakespeare).

Bonky 75,728 15
10/15/2002 06:06 PM

"I'm about to vomit!" Tom projected.

Bonky 75,728 15
10/15/2002 06:11 PM

"Scooter Brown's crotch is on fire" Tom read.

psychaholic, for a shiny coat! 4,888 13
10/15/2002 06:13 PM

"My penis is huge" Tom frickiin' wished oh for the love of god how he wished...

John Hargrave 128,742 73
10/15/2002 07:05 PM

Nutbutter killed me with the Hitler Tom Swiftie.



Get it? Killed me?



I feel fairly sure this is the first time a Hitler Tom Swiftie has ever been posted on the Interweb.

Sexhead, quick on the upmake 12,287 12
10/16/2002 12:29 AM

See, Trae's is all double funny, cause it's all "briefly," or "brie" and "fly..."



You people make me poop.

Sexhead, quick on the upmake 12,287 12
10/16/2002 12:33 AM

"I am stizznoned," Manny said bluntly.

Sexhead, quick on the upmake 12,287 12
10/16/2002 12:43 AM

<action>can't believe this one, or one like it, has yet to be done.</action>"Life is a dark abyss" said goatse.cx man hollowly.

Doc 7,105 13
10/16/2002 12:44 AM

John: "No clickies?"



Welcome to the pens, newcomer. We here fight each other for scraps, if I were you, I'd join up with a gang real quick, or you'll be eaten alive. If you don't produce, you fade, it is the Way. But don't garnish the attention of some of the heavy hitters, you'll be branded n00b quicker'n Squeamish after an ice cream truck.



Oh, and you'd better learn the inside jokes real quick, and always keep an aresenal of cheap "click getters"



My name's Doc, if you ever need me, I've got one eye and cancer, and I'll never get a t-shirt. If you need help, you can always consult the old one Bonky, but beware, she speaks in tongues.



Oh.. and one more thing.. if times are tough, use this:



Ford is banned?







Remember, you never saw me.

Doc 7,105 13
10/16/2002 12:44 AM

I think I understand how these are done.





"If you need me, I'll be in the back," the captain said sternly.

Doc 7,105 13
10/16/2002 12:51 AM

"But she is hot!" Doc said shallowly.





.. you know, shallowly, lacking depth perc*BLAM*

Doc 7,105 13
10/16/2002 12:52 AM

Alright, I'm just going to give up and stick to the gay jokes.

There once was a GABber named Gonzo 20,522 17
10/16/2002 01:20 AM

"Now, lookie hear, Andy", Amos interjected darkly.

Sexhead, quick on the upmake 12,287 12
10/16/2002 01:29 AM

"I feel like something's missing!" Werehamster said testily.

Daggy 86,684 14
10/16/2002 01:30 AM

'I'm late for my workout', Tom said fitfully.

Daggy 86,684 14
10/16/2002 01:31 AM

'Some people mistake me for a bloke.' Daggy said earnestly.

Daggy 86,684 14
10/16/2002 01:34 AM

'I













think







I











understand

















how















these















work



























now.'

















Tom said periodically.

There once was a GABber named Gonzo 20,522 17
10/16/2002 02:01 AM

<action> will go to hell for this, but is willing to pay that price for comedy. </action>



Tom niggardly refused to pay the shop owner full price for a 40 of Olde English.

Alpha Wolf 1,062 12
10/16/2002 02:18 AM

"Listen to the orgasm of the Dungeon-Dwellers!" Tom Moaned (two-pointer)



"I've been baaaaaaaddd!" Tom Lamb-mented (-2 pointer)



"Get your mouth off me, chicken-raper!" Tom spat back (at John)



"Follow the panty-lined road... to the bedroom. -GW" said the note luringly (or luridly?)



"I think she's crying over spilled milk" Tom Bawled.



(Yes, I'll take the blindfold and cigarette, thank you sir. Fire when ready.)

There once was a GABber named Gonzo 20,522 17
10/16/2002 02:45 AM

<action> Stop me people! I will not stop on my own! </action>



"Hee! Hee! Come over here, Pluto!", Mickey exclaimed animatedly.

Doc 7,105 13
10/16/2002 02:55 AM

"My brain's disappeared!" Tom said absentmindedly.







.. alright, I'm going to quit again.

Doc 7,105 13
10/16/2002 02:56 AM

"Quit hitting me with that rubber hammer, Doctor!" Tim responded knee-jerkily.

Doc 7,105 13
10/16/2002 02:57 AM

This time I'm quitting for real.





































... said Doc resignedly.

Bonky 75,728 15
10/16/2002 08:47 AM

"Doc said I'm old" Bonky cried.





Little fat head one eyed cancer dick!

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 10:47 AM

"I never had sex with that woman.", Bill said definedly.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 10:48 AM

"We must defeat the axis of evil", GW spun.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 10:49 AM

"Nothing quickens the spirit quite like being shot at and missed" Winston Churchill said dodgedly.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 10:50 AM

"My clit is in the back of my throat" Linda Lovelace said deeply.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 10:52 AM

"Gwah, bu to rah cuppo bbbbb" Steven Hawking mumbled into his microphone.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 10:52 AM

you had to be there

Professor Nutbutter 181,255 35
10/16/2002 10:55 AM

"I don't quite get the concept of these things," Mr. Chackens said dumbfoundedly.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 11:06 AM

Cripes, Nutty. Must everything be on a 1st grade level for you?



"I never had sex with that woman.", Bill said definedly.



sex- he defined "Define sex"





"We must defeat the axis of evil", GW spun.



axis/spun also the political spin of calling another country evil



"Nothing quickens the spirit quite like being shot at and missed" Winston Churchill said dodgedly.



shot at and missed - dodgedly





"My clit is in the back of my throat" Linda Lovelace said deeply.



Linda was known as deep throat, and the plot of this pron classic is that she had to give head to have any satisfaction, due to her clit being deep in her throat.





"Gwah, bu to rah cuppo bbbbb" Steven Hawking mumbled into his microphone.





How do you know if it fits the format or not? Do you speak Hawking?



Besides, making fun of the handicapped is always funny, that's why we keep you around.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 11:08 AM

"Ok, I admit I can't do this", Chickens said in a Tom-Swiftie-challenged way.

Chackens 286,208 61
10/16/2002 11:17 AM

"I'm the thread killa." Chickens posted at last.

I'm Leppy, and I'm a GABaholic. 12,056 12
10/27/2002 02:28 AM

"Chickens really did kill the thread," Leppy posted ironically.

I'm Leppy, and I'm a GABaholic. 12,056 12
10/27/2002 02:28 AM

"My shirt is wrinkled," said Tom ironically.

BunnyL 5,695 11
10/27/2002 02:42 AM

"Where the hell's my gosh dern Viagra?" Tom went off, half-Coleridgeed.

Doc 7,105 13
10/27/2002 02:56 AM

"I only need to drink twice as many beers," said John Bobbit.

Doc 7,105 13
10/27/2002 04:26 PM

Well, I'm glad someone got it. It probably only applies to north easterners.

Knobatron2k 14,139 11
12/05/2002 04:58 AM

"Its the work that we avoid, and were all unemployed" Sang BTO, lazilly

The lovely Daggy! 86,684 14
12/05/2002 09:24 AM

'I'm so ashamed that a grandson of mine is such a terrible speller' ....



said knobatrons grammar.

Chacken of the Interweb..web...web..web 286,208 61
12/05/2002 09:52 AM

How is this thread the funniest this month? Only two post have been made and neither has a click.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/05/2002 01:31 PM

"I love this old country music!" Tom said haggardly.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/05/2002 01:34 PM

I've got two:



"I love performing cunnilingus" Tom said, muffled.



and



"I'm so good at oral sex!" a headstrong Tom exclaimed.

Hyperspaz the beer please? 3,290 11
12/05/2002 01:37 PM

"Shut up and put the money in the bag bitch!" Tom said withagunpointattheirheadily.

Hyperspaz the beer please? 3,290 11
12/05/2002 01:38 PM

"I am Frost-ing Chi-Chi Fellipe in the ass" Trixxie said truthfully.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/05/2002 01:45 PM

You wanna play? Ok, we play!



"I'm so in love!" Hyperspaz said sheepishly.

salvage: Interweb Surfer Extreme 28,986 12
12/05/2002 01:48 PM

Read the above post in a "Tony Montana" accent. It's really quite something.

virnomine 79,386 11
12/12/2002 10:22 PM

"I need to eat more fiber," grunted Sqeamish.

virnomine 79,386 11
12/13/2002 08:59 AM

"So what do you think of the president?" shot Lee Harvey Oswald. (or did he?)

Hyperspaz: 12 inches of Love! 3,290 11
12/13/2002 03:06 PM

"Mind if I muff dive?" Microcube hungrily said to Onion.

Hyperspaz: 12 inches of Love! 3,290 11
12/13/2002 03:38 PM

"Hey, these boobies are real!" Squeezed Trae!

psychaholic, for a shiny coat! 4,888 13
12/13/2002 03:43 PM

"I have the runs", Phychaholic burned.

Hyperspaz: 12 inches of Love! 3,290 11
12/13/2002 03:49 PM

"I have the runs", Phychaholic squirted.

psychaholic, for a shiny coat! 4,888 13
12/13/2002 03:51 PM

yea, I didn't want to say squirted. Burning is the worst problem.

Stinky 7,952 12
12/13/2002 03:52 PM

"My name is really Trae," Tom said loosely.

Stinky 7,952 12
12/13/2002 03:52 PM

"OOo...it just slipped right in," Tom said easily.

Stinky 7,952 12
12/13/2002 03:53 PM

"I love female gymnists," Tom said flatly.

Hyperspaz: 12 inches of Love! 3,290 11
12/13/2002 03:55 PM

"opps, was that your penis" Lorraine quickly cut in.

Knobatron2k 14,139 11
12/13/2002 03:57 PM

"I have a huge Coleridge," joked Ford

Hyperspaz: 12 inches of Love! 3,290 11
12/13/2002 03:59 PM

"I am not this Moon guy and I won't shut up!" Knobatron2k imp-ly screamed!

John Hargrave 128,742 73
01/06/2003 09:29 AM

"I'm constipated," Tom said anal-retentively.

My Hubby is gay 2,953 10
01/06/2003 09:31 AM

"five more minutes" yelled he as he was in the outhouse.

VirAnus Knickerbocker 79,386 11
01/06/2003 09:45 AM

"What the Frost was that post about?" puzzeled VirAnus Knickerbocker

Declan McManus 131,867 36
01/06/2003 09:51 AM

It is winter in Ohio, Tom said, chillingly.

VirAnus Knickerbocker 79,386 11
01/06/2003 09:53 AM

"She told me she was a virgin," Carl oozed at the STD clinic.

Declan McManus 131,867 36
01/06/2003 09:55 AM

``Cut this onion into tiny pieces,`` she said, mincingly.

VirAnus Knickerbocker 79,386 11
01/06/2003 10:04 AM

"Where are my sad, boyish loafers?" shuffled a clickie whore.

ScottHasel 51 9
07/31/2003 08:58 PM

"I'm so happy all these little boys are in my house!" Michael Jackson exclaimed gayly

Bunny the Chicken Hawk 5,695 11
07/31/2003 09:11 PM

Holy Shakespeare!



This thread contains my very first post ever!

Spicey McHaggis 117,695 36
07/31/2003 09:20 PM

Bunny exclaimed religiously.

Gonzo Booky Doog 20,522 17
07/31/2003 09:28 PM

"Doin' the - Mmm Mmm - pigeon.", Burt cooed.

Frogpop 173,148 25
07/31/2003 09:58 PM

"HEY! Look at ME!! Over HERE, everybody! Watch what I'M eating!" teh fatty hammed.

Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
07/31/2003 10:00 PM

heh, VirAnus Knickerbocker, I forgot that name...

Frogpop 173,148 25
08/01/2003 05:30 AM

"I guess I may need to make two more posts to try and sew up the door to the secret thread, I think, or maybe not.." Frogpop hemmed.

Frogpop 173,148 25
08/01/2003 05:39 AM

"heh, VirAnus Knickerbocker, I forgot that name..." Virn remiknicksced

HeatherGaye 520 10
08/01/2003 06:26 AM

"That bitch is taking me for all I've got!" Tom exclaimed.

HeatherGaye 520 10
08/01/2003 06:31 AM

Dang, I'm sure I've got my swearbot switched on... Sorry...

El Volante 10,315 10
08/01/2003 06:32 AM

"Holy Shakespeare, this is retarded," said Chi Chi, like a retard, in a wheel chair, who was trying to play DDRmax, and then got pushed down a flight of stairs at Madison Square Gardens, and ran over an old lady holding a baby born with no legs, while a crowd of disallusioned monks holding crape paper swans laughed loudely and had sex with alpacas, a relitive of the llama, but native to the Chiliean Alps, laughed like school boys.

Vodka Drenched Stoat 9,077 10
08/01/2003 07:53 AM

"God Damn you're a miserable twat" Stoat said to El Volante completely missing the Tom Swifty sort of theme in a blatant excuse to insult the miserable Frost El Vol is

Pubah 56,744 18
08/01/2003 01:47 PM

"I'm a funny Chinaman, uh Oriental, uh Asian. Yeah, Asian and your not", exclaimed an excited Eric.

Pubah 56,744 18
08/01/2003 01:57 PM

"My big brother Ducky is soooo gonna get you", yelled Virn the Instigator.

Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
08/01/2003 01:59 PM

"Duh, I'm funny, and I find dead horses and beat them mercilessly," mechanic said cluelessly.

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
08/01/2003 02:01 PM

"What?" said a puzzled Jacobpants

Pubah 56,744 18
08/01/2003 02:03 PM

"Gotta beat something besides my meat", said Virn, the Carpally Cramped.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
08/01/2003 02:08 PM

"I'm so awesome!" said El Volante as he slayed the dragon, leveled up, got 68,183 pieces of gold, 123,574 pieces of silver, 253,993 pieces of copper, found a plus-6 sword, a plate-mail, two potions and a magic scroll.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
08/01/2003 02:22 PM

Why didn't anyone click on El V's? He said alpaca, which is the second funniest animal, after the chinchila.

Nutbutter, teh crafty sir 702 10
11/02/2003 04:11 AM

merle haggard joke for teh win

156,785 17
01/06/2004 04:46 PM

""

godot 15,434 11
03/04/2004 07:25 PM

"I've got to quit eating" Chance said heavily.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
03/04/2004 07:57 PM

"I never found this thread funny," Dead Robot laughed.

HighSoci 30,066 18
03/04/2004 10:37 PM

"Masterbation is bad for you." Tom said jerkingly.

Gonzo 20,522 17
08/08/2004 01:04 AM

<action> swiftly bumps up this old thread.

TheFoye 55,700 15
09/02/2004 03:45 PM

"and so is masturbation" Tom ejaculated!

sharribarri 14,124 11
09/02/2004 03:52 PM

"It is such a lovely day, lets go sailing," Sharribarri boomed.

Geekzilla 954 12
09/02/2004 05:45 PM

"God, I loves me some delicious hummus," Chickens sniffed.

Sugartastic Panda Slim 181,718 70
09/02/2004 05:58 PM

"The Teflon on this skillet is all scratched," Alton deadpanned.

SaltyDave 3,588 9
09/02/2004 06:10 PM

"Tom, you just don't turn me on if you're not hard" Tomasina said dryly...



"i think it's the whiskey" tom said softly....

SaltyDave 3,588 9
09/02/2004 06:13 PM

"i'm not a fan of dark bread" tom said wryly....



"a toast, to good friends!" Tom said cheerily...

Geekzilla 954 12
09/02/2004 06:36 PM

<action>prays this will make her earlier post funnier...</action>

Ahem.

SaltyDave 3,588 9
09/02/2004 06:39 PM

"this hot dog tastes like sperm!!!" Tom spewed frankly....

Uncle FartJoke 674 8
09/02/2004 07:10 PM

"Pop Tarts give me gas." Tom said, fumingly.

Chris Garrett (Craven Somehead) 86,932 12
09/07/2004 11:35 AM

"Ok, ok, I'll go spelunking," Tom caved.

TheProfessorJohn 1,146 8
09/07/2004 11:38 AM

Shame on you. This thread started in 2002," Tom said longingly.

TheProfessorJohn 1,146 8
09/07/2004 11:44 AM

"Not everything is supposed to be funny," Tom said unwittingly.

Moss 4,125 10
09/07/2004 01:00 PM

"Napster is evil," Tom said metallically.

Sugartastic Panda Slim 181,718 70
09/07/2004 01:14 PM

"I can't kill anyone with a spoon," Tom said bluntly.

brody smells like teen spirit 43,090 12
09/07/2004 01:18 PM

'I just got abducted?' Tom asked probingly.

Slayer of Shoes 549 9
09/07/2004 02:34 PM

"I'm only on a diet," the anorexic girl said lightly.

daisypie 49,378 9
09/07/2004 03:08 PM

"Elevator down, sir?" asked the attendant. "No thanks", Tom declined.

Slayer of Shoes 549 9
09/07/2004 10:16 PM

"She was frozen to death by liquid nitrogen, obviously," said the detective coldly.

Gonzo 20,522 17
09/07/2004 10:42 PM

<action>posted.</action>Hey, everyone! I'm building a new fence!

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/07/2004 11:03 PM

"would you please fellate my giant member" Tom said pole-itely....



or



"i can only give you $5 for this blowjob" Tom said po' litely....



or



"i dont HEAR any ghosts" Tom whispered earily.....

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/07/2004 11:08 PM

"i told you i was well hung, baby" Tom said hoarsely......





"dude, give it up, there's just no more in the jar...use the ketchup instead" Tom mustered up shakily......

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 12:29 AM

"that black and yellow insect just ejaculated on me!" Tom said becomingly......

daisypie 49,378 9
09/08/2004 04:27 AM

"You're sportin' some nice wood there" Tom opined.























...To the carpenter. What'd you think Tom meant?























Fag.

The Rat 2,085 9
09/08/2004 04:49 AM

"Just a sprinkling of salt" the chef addded.

The Rat 2,085 9
09/08/2004 04:50 AM

"Holy Shakespeare I burnt another one" God added, darkly

daisypie 49,378 9
09/08/2004 05:10 AM

"How many times do I have to tell you, No Smoking!" Tom fumed.

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 04:19 PM

"that cow's got a nice rack" Tom uttered....

Jannie 10,022 10
09/08/2004 04:21 PM

"Pubah's icon gives me the creeps," Tom said with a grimace.

Moss 4,125 10
09/08/2004 04:24 PM

"Sorry Ma'am, I'm going to have to keep it in the shop for a week. The conflooziator isn't gyrating at an angle tangental to the combobulator, and it's going to be expensive," Tom said mechanically.

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 04:24 PM

"he better buy me a diamond ring, cause this thing AIN'T singin'" Tom said mockingly.....

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 04:24 PM

"he better buy me a diamond ring, cause this bird AIN'T singin'" Tom said mockingly.....

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 04:25 PM

"wow, two posts!" dave said, doubled over in pain from getting kicked in the head by Gabbers....

Sugartastic Panda Slim 181,718 70
09/08/2004 04:27 PM

Dave, Tom Swifie himself called, and said, very angrily, that he didn't want you to try anymore.

erika the deipnosophist 76,152 9
09/08/2004 04:59 PM

"I really want some macaroni and cheese.", Tom said kraftily.











Yeah, sorry about that, I'm really hungry.

Whistler P. McManus 185,807 44
09/08/2004 05:05 PM

"Well I'm sick of shredding cheese," said Tom's wife, gratingly.

erika the deipnosophist 76,152 9
09/08/2004 05:07 PM

"Well I don't care of you're tired. Get to makin' my dinner BlTCH!," Tom said heatedly.

erika the deipnosophist 76,152 9
09/08/2004 05:09 PM

Frost. That was supposed to be "get to cookin'", not "get to makin'".

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 05:11 PM

Dave, Tom Swifie himself called, and said, very angrily, that he didn't want you to try anymore.



"ok, i give up then" dave said resignedly....

erika the deipnosophist 76,152 9
09/08/2004 05:21 PM

"Hey Dave, thanks for interrupting my dinner conversation with Whistler.", Erika piped in cheesily.

Sugartastic Panda Slim 181,718 70
09/08/2004 05:23 PM

"I'm about to smack Dave in the face," SHP said cheekily.

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 05:32 PM

"I'm about to smack Dave in the face," SHP said cheekily.



"i have cheeks elsewhere than my face" dave rebutted....

Whistler P. McManus 185,807 44
09/08/2004 05:36 PM

"And the dinner conversation of a deipnosophist is not something one wants to miss," said Tom, ostentatiously.

erika the deipnosophist 76,152 9
09/08/2004 05:43 PM

"Whistler, be nice and I'll make you some dessert.", erika said sweetly.

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 05:47 PM

"make sure that dessert doesnt have too much lard in it...that'll clog my arteries" Dave said heartily....

erika the deipnosophist 76,152 9
09/08/2004 05:49 PM

"Well I guess i can't make a lemon meringue pie then.", erika said sourly.

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/08/2004 05:52 PM

ok, last two, and ill stop, i swear (unless provoked):



"i gots me the cleanest, whitest KKK hood in the whole county" Tom pointed out....



"i dont care what you say, dolphin meat tastes good" Tom said flippantly....

TheProfessorJohn 1,146 8
09/08/2004 06:50 PM

"That large tree will fall on me", Tom opined.

Sr Zapato 349 8
09/08/2004 08:50 PM

"The..... woodchipper......tore off...... my arm," Tom said disjointedly.

Gonzo 20,522 17
09/08/2004 08:57 PM

"Yeah, sorry about that, I'm really hungry," erika ate her words.

Wonder Bread 3,319 9
09/08/2004 08:59 PM

"I will flatline within minutes," Tom said heartily

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
09/09/2004 12:38 AM

"I feel damp" he said Francesly.

Drunky McBeer 0 8
09/13/2004 03:09 PM

"You left water spots on my coffee table," Tom said condensendingly.

NaClDave 3,588 9
09/13/2004 06:07 PM

"I love watersports!!!!" Tom gushed....

erika the dumbass 76,152 9
09/13/2004 06:46 PM

"Pull up your pants, your ass is showing!", Tom cracked.

Dogs Akimbo 211,173 32
09/13/2004 06:51 PM

"Not boxers," Tom said briefly.

Chilly Willy 87 8
09/13/2004 07:53 PM

"I'm nothing without you baby" Tom said naughtily.

Dread Pirate Sunshine: Scourge of the internet 8,426 10
09/13/2004 07:55 PM

"This is stupid" Tom said... stupidly

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
09/13/2004 08:34 PM

'That is one fine looking lamb,' Tom said sheepishly...

Oliver Chest 203,475 12
09/13/2004 08:38 PM

'I should have read the whole thread before posting that,' Oliver said ignorantly...

Phla Mignon 131,060 34
09/13/2004 08:44 PM

"My stereo's half-fixed," said Phla monotonously.

Sr Zapato 349 8
10/13/2004 08:50 PM

"This thread keeps coming back over and over," Zapato said repeatedly.

Piemaster 12,538 15
10/13/2004 08:55 PM

"This thread will newer die", cracked the comedian over dead silence...

OneEyedTrouserTrout 6,046 8
10/27/2005 05:03 PM

Never sit on an M-80, Tom said half-assed

Skitzo 321 8
10/27/2005 05:36 PM

"Look at the teats on that cow!!" Tom uttered.

S. Kake 55,555 14
01/25/2006 05:05 PM

You are not the REAL Joan Collins. She has a login.

Neophyte 9,956 10
08/09/2006 07:13 PM

"I'm suffocating!" said Tom unerringly

Currently Under a Kilt 101,327 77
08/09/2006 08:23 PM

"Your retarded," Tom said slowly.

Neophyte 9,956 10
08/09/2006 09:13 PM

sorry, I never do this:



"Your retarded....what?"asked John

Neophyte 9,956 10
08/09/2006 11:17 PM

"I'm suffocating!" said Tom without error.









I'm still not getting it, am I?