It started like this: We gathered in the evening, with the sun going down and the fog blowing in from the ocean. Everyone wore something red, from a bright red-and-gold Indian tunic and pants to a necklace of red beads over a denim dress. The girls set up an altar on a red tablecloth in the middle of our living room floor. They brought in branches from the bay trees surrounding our house and placed the four elements in the four directions: air (east) represented with feathers; fire (south), with a burning candle and smoldering sage; water (west), with a bowl of ocean water and oil; earth (north), with a bowl of red clay. Between two white candles we placed the daisy garland I'd woven for Tisa to wear. We sprinkled red rose petals and other small flowers from the front door to the altar. Each girl held a red candle.

Mr. Virnomine 79,386 11
02/05/2003 12:39 PM

Man I'm glad I'm a man.

John Hargrave 128,742 73
02/05/2003 12:40 PM

I asked Squeamish to send me the pictures for this article, but didn't hear back from him.



Squeams, if you can scan them in, I'd love to include them with this article.

Sleestack 30,342 13
02/05/2003 12:40 PM

Meanwhile, men are busy RUNNING THE PLANET.

salvage the sea-donkey 28,986 12
02/05/2003 12:41 PM

I remeber my minstral party, we dressed in pointed green hats, played the flute, danced to Hey Nonny....





Ohhhhhh

Squeamish 38,986 14
02/05/2003 12:43 PM

I don't have the article.



Sorry, I lost a bunch of email when I was in Argentina.

Maynard The Bagger 3,203 10
02/05/2003 12:50 PM

Waitaminute... are you going to be a DADDY?



God help us all.

Maynard The Bagger 3,203 10
02/05/2003 12:58 PM

Why is Squeamish trying to pass off a Codeslave Post as one of his own?



Is Squeam desperate for material or does Tim miss being a part of Gab?

Pants 14,252 17
02/05/2003 01:03 PM

That article reminds me of a similar less refined incident in middle school. I was eating my lunch and joking around with my friends in the commens area when I heard a great roar of clapping and cheering . I look over to see the attention is for a girl approaching the tables with her lunch in her hand. Just as she is about to sit down a group of girls stand up and start waving ketchup covered napkins above their heads.



Congratulations! You will now bleed from your crotch for 5 days a month for the next 35 years.

Squeamish 38,986 14
02/05/2003 01:04 PM

Tim often posts vicariously to GAB through me.

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
02/05/2003 01:24 PM

I think it is a great idea. Though, maybe in that case, the parents were too controlling of such an event.

Chi-Chi Fellipe shamelessly plugs his new article 161,353 14
02/05/2003 01:28 PM

I think that boys should have wet parties, then. Everyone is wrapped in a soiled sheet, phallic symbols are placed everywhere, and all the young 'uns leave with porno, porno, porno!!

Maynard The Bagger 3,203 10
02/05/2003 01:28 PM

heh. I was hoping you'd do that.

Maynard The Bagger 3,203 10
02/05/2003 01:29 PM

Much better if you credited it to Tim Elkins and put a little blurb on it. "When not staying up late at night reading comics or coding his message board, Tim does, well, pretty much nothing."

Miss Trixxie (Maynard the Bagger) LeMay 65,021 15
02/05/2003 01:58 PM

Am I insane or did this thread say started by Squeemish one second and Codeslave the next? Oh and Hey Nutterbutter, knew you couldn's stay away.

4 10
02/05/2003 01:59 PM

And what kind of GIFT does one bring to a Menstrual Party? Jumbo Pads? Teen Tampons? The Variety Pack? How about Midol or Pamprin tablets?

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
02/05/2003 02:35 PM

Okay so they're celebrating the fact that the girl got her first period. WHY???



For the rest of her life she's going to have to worry about when and when not to wear that light colored skirt (or pants), she'll be bloated at least once a month, she'll have cramps, and her face will be covered with zits. Frankly I don't see this as something to be celebrated.

Maynard The Bagger 3,203 10
02/05/2003 02:45 PM

Yeah, but now she can get knocked up!

AmyPoo , bitch goddess 2,710 12
02/05/2003 04:38 PM

ech, no red party for my daughter. that just seems freaky. did you read the part where she made her daughter cry?

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
02/05/2003 05:33 PM

I was just waiting for the part where the ring leader pulls out a hand held mirror and says,

"Alright ladies! We are going to examine the heart of our womanhood! Our vaginas!"

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
02/05/2003 08:08 PM

" So, the author talks to a few people, and then makes up some bogus ceremony that doesn't have any real connection to any religion or culture." - So they're basically wiccans now, right?

Mrs Slutpuppy (wag my tongue) 4,643 11
02/05/2003 08:11 PM

The lining of your womb is coming out of your vagina! Whoo, let us all do the happy dance of blood and mucus!

'ello, it's DagEE 86,684 14
02/05/2003 08:18 PM

<action>snaps lid firmly back onto container of strawberry yogurt</action>





Thank you Troy.

Mrs Slutpuppy (wag my tongue) 4,643 11
02/05/2003 08:23 PM

I think there's something wrong if it looks like strawberry yoghurt.

Mrs Slutpuppy (wag my tongue) 4,643 11
02/05/2003 08:26 PM

And hey, at least you yoghurt comes with a lid.

G i b l B e o t n N k u y g g e t 12,005 12
02/06/2003 02:18 AM

This article inspired me. I'm having a Brown Party in twenty minutes. To symbolize the Squeezing of the Poop out of "my" Butt, please bring a Reader's Digest, and leave it outside of the door. I already read the one with Denzel Washington, give me the John Ritter one. Hey, let me ask you: would it be too weird if I had a ritual can of Coke in there, too? Like, if I finished it before I wiped, you know? The dog's mouth is cleaner than our mouths, you know.

Miniver 2,334 9
05/13/2005 08:35 AM

Bump for Chickens and his newly menstruating offspring. Congrats!



Did anyone hear Howard Stern recently when he played an old hygiene film on menstruation? In the film, a girl named Molly came home with bloody underwear and the family, including Dad, celebrated. Howard observed that the situation seemed unrealistic and that the dialogue probably went more like: "Get off my lap, Molly."