Plain Ole Lila 78,550 13
04/04/2003 05:54 PM

Dude - your daugter is HOT!

Squeamish 38,986 14
04/04/2003 05:56 PM

I have been permanantly tainted by the pictures that the girl in my office has of her daughter. Every other baby in the Universe looks so much better than that choad that I am unable to differentiate different levels of cuteness, they all blend into the "not as God-awful as Courtney's baby" spectrum.



So I cannot say how your baby compares to Seamus but I can say without hesitation that she is several orders of magnitude cuter than the hump of kid that Courtney shat out last year.

Maynard NLI 3,203 10
04/04/2003 06:00 PM

Black and White?



Was your daughter born in 1953?

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
04/04/2003 06:02 PM

Good work. That's a cute baby.

Maynard NLI 3,203 10
04/04/2003 06:05 PM

Is this from the night she was concieved?

Maynard NLI 3,203 10
04/04/2003 06:05 PM

(and if I haven't seaid it... she's a cutie.)

Supercunt 19,936 13
04/04/2003 06:22 PM

That's the cutest crack-baby ever.

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
04/04/2003 06:32 PM

<action>sadly gives up crown</action>

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 06:35 PM

And you're SURE that kid isn't mine?



She's really cute kiddo. How come they aren't in color though?

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/04/2003 06:36 PM

If the kid were yours Maha it would be trying to put a fork in a toaster while taking a bath.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 06:38 PM

Hey now, I only did that twice.



And seriously, I'm starting to get the wiggins here. That kid looks a little like I did when I was a baby.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 06:42 PM

Pardon me while I freak out for a while.





ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/04/2003 06:42 PM

i didn't notice any horns.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 06:43 PM

Hey red, could I take a paternity test? Please?

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/04/2003 06:48 PM

He might have a point.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 06:50 PM

Bwahahahahahha!!!



Dammit Salvage, I'm poopin myself here, don't make me laugh!

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/04/2003 06:50 PM

what, maha, you think she's too Frost-ing stupid to know when she got pregnant? shut up already.

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
04/04/2003 06:54 PM

Maha's seed lies in wait and strikes when the woman least suspects it, much like a cowbird.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 07:03 PM

No, but there could be the possibility she's showing us pictures that are a year old. I'm sorry, I'm just paranoid that there might be some part of me out there that I'm not allowed to know.

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:07 PM

Timmy, I wasn't on the website, LET ALONE in contact with you the week of my 21st birthday (First week of May, 2001, the official week of conception!), so I don't have to worry, thank the Lord God above this child isn't yours.

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/04/2003 07:08 PM

tell it, sista!

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:10 PM

And they are supposed to be black and white.



My friend, a photography student, took a whole mess of them. The pic of her with the ice cream face is one of a series. #1 is her holding the untouched cone, next four pics are her getting covered in goo, last one is her screaming bloody murder because we took the ice cream blob away.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 07:10 PM

Can I still please take the test?

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:12 PM

Also, my mother in law, whom scanned the pics for me, forgot the one of me, Italian boy, and baby at this last halloween.



Once you see her sitting with her daddy, you'll have do doubt that she has his genes, not your malfunctioning ones.

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
04/04/2003 07:13 PM

Wait a minute red, is there something you're not telling me?

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:14 PM

Why should I go through the trouble? SHE ISN'T YOURS TIMMY.



If I had even a SHODOW of a doubt, trust me, I'd allow the test, this is something I'm just gonna Frost around with, but you're being a stupid paranoid prissy retard.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 07:15 PM

I'm so sorry to bother you with this red, I just wish there was a way I could know 100% for sure. How about a proof of life picture? Take a pic of you with the baby with a current newspaper in your hand. Then you can make this evil terrorist go away.

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:15 PM

*sobbing*



I'm so sorry Gardenback.....*sigh*.....I just didn't want to trouble you, ya know? And the nuns took such good care of me.....





Bwahahahah! That was great.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 07:16 PM

Prissy? Prissy?????? SO!!!!





*trots off to watch the Golden Girls*

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:18 PM

this is something I'm just gonna Frost around with



I meant to say I WOULDN'T Frost around with something like that....but......yeah.

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:19 PM

Also, thank you Mr. Gardenback. That really helped get this out of my brain.

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/04/2003 07:20 PM

Hey now, I'm cute!!! Cute like baby!!!

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:21 PM

Cute like baby wildebeast.

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/04/2003 07:21 PM

<action>eyes light up</action>



I... I touched her. It's all an artists really wants.

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
04/04/2003 07:25 PM

Anytime red, anytime.

Also, I'm afraid I'm going to see this crawling across my ceiling tonight a la Trainspotting.

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/04/2003 07:28 PM

Ever see that movie "Mouth of Madness"? People read the book, go insane so that demons may infest the earth?

























This is nothing like that but it was a pretty good film.















Go look at the picture some more.

Supercunt 19,936 13
04/04/2003 07:31 PM

I don't think you can get pregnant from peeing on somebody.

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/04/2003 07:33 PM

My babe just woke up from her nap.



I showed my pictures, she smiles, points, and says, "Baaaaaaybee!"



I show her Gardenbacks's pic, she laugh, points, says, "Shayshuh!" (That's how she says her own name)



I show her Sal's pic, she points, says nothing, crawls into her toy corner where I hear the lovely noises of gas coming from her bubble butt.

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/04/2003 07:35 PM

Huh that's usually what my clients do. See if you can get her to write me a bogus cheque.

El Volante 10,315 10
04/04/2003 07:38 PM

Cheque? It's check you durrrtard. You canadians just keep on being stupidest in my ... uh... top of... neck.. thingy.

Pants 14,252 17
04/04/2003 07:38 PM

Heh Spectrum. That girl Courtney just sentenced her daughter to a life of whoredom and drug abuse.

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/04/2003 07:40 PM

Oh why don't you go yank some more Us out of words.

You may remember me from such films as ZUG 4,643 11
04/04/2003 07:41 PM

It's cheque, ask Dinesh.

BunnyL 5,695 11
04/05/2003 12:42 AM

All this talque of cheques is maquing me want to puque.

Feeble, Iraqi Weapons Inspector #27 32,400 15
04/05/2003 11:42 AM

That lower right picture looks like the kid is practicing fellatio.



You can never start too young, in my opinion.



I don't know if she's cuter than Seamus.



BUT SHE'S NOT AS CUTE AS LANDON!



Neener.

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/05/2003 11:47 AM

Reason #47 Patience is cuter than Seamus: She can tell jokes! If you say, "Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens? Because they kept going, ..." she yells, "BACH BACH BACH BACH!!!!" Then laughs hysterically, and blows you a kiss.





I have just invested my entire fortune in her futer as a stand up comic.





And by "my entire fortune" I mean to say ".67 cents I found under the couch".

Feeble, Iraqi Weapons Inspector #27 32,400 15
04/05/2003 12:14 PM

You have to admire a little girl who can tell puns she has no way of understanding.



You should play her "Sleepers, Wake" and then "Eine Klien Nacht Musik" so she gets the joke.

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/05/2003 12:26 PM

Hey I planned to be a stand up comedian and I turned out... well you can see the result.



Send her to the nunnery now.

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/06/2003 03:20 AM

i like this thread.

john_shaft, Elvis' favorite cracker 795 13
04/06/2003 06:50 AM

she seems to be wearing a woolen condom.

The Iconless Gonzo 20,522 17
04/07/2003 01:53 AM

I know I've posted this and pissed off people before, but I guess I'll do it again.



ALL BABIES LOOK THE SAME, AND NOBODY WANTS TO SEE PICTURES, BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE EVERY OTHER BABY PICTURE!



Why can't parents understand this? Or, more correctly, why can't parents remember this is how they felt before they underwent the extrememly common experience of creating a human?!?!



It happens every day. You want applause? Yay you! You had intercourse! Horray! But at such an early stage, your spawn looks exactly like every other post-embryonic newborn/and/or/toddler.



Using quirky photography methods, or dressing up your offspring in "adorable" outfits fro photographs is viewed as no less a ploy for individual attention as dressing a poodle up in a tartan sweater.



What kind of frightening hormonal imbalance causes people to forget that this is what they thosught about anyone that had multitudionous photos of their newborn?!

Statickitten is beer drinkin', glue sniffin' 24,428 11
04/07/2003 01:55 AM

Go look at the "I feel dirty" thread. There's a set of twins over there that would make anyone cry out "mommy"

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/07/2003 01:58 AM

Score one Statickitten!

Statickitten is beer drinkin', glue sniffin' 24,428 11
04/07/2003 02:01 AM

game



set



match

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/07/2003 02:05 AM

you'll feel different when you have kids, gonzo.

The Iconless Gonzo 20,522 17
04/07/2003 02:21 AM

Maybe, Amy... but until that unlikely, I can rant, and hope that the other childless folk enjoy the humor.

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/07/2003 02:34 AM

yeah, it's more fun to show your baby pictures to other parents.

Sir Geek 1,427 11
04/07/2003 04:03 AM

yeah, it's more fun to show your baby pictures to other parents.



Because unlike childfree people, they care that you have spawned ?

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/07/2003 04:36 AM

duh.

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
04/07/2003 09:10 AM

People who say all babies look alike are like people who say that all blacks look alike.



Insenstive bigots, who should be flogged.



Anyone with a clue knows that MY GRANDKIDS ARE CUTE!



<action>Brandishes AK-47 in one hand, baby album in other</action>

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
04/07/2003 09:19 AM

All babies are cute. Even the ugly ones. It's the only reason we don't eat our young.

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/07/2003 09:20 AM

Speak for yourself.

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/07/2003 10:55 AM

*joins Feeble with a Samurai sword and a stuffed bunny*



Yeah! Goddamn non-breeding.....bigot.....people.





Yeah!

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/07/2003 11:00 AM

Keep children out of malls, movie theatres, resetraunts that don't have a clown or king mascot, streets, buses and other place where I might be and everything will be a-okay!

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/07/2003 11:10 AM

*drives the Happy Sunshine Wee Care Day Care van in front of Sal's place*



Come on kiddies, Uncle Sal-Sal is gonna play you guys today! You even get to spend the night! And remember, Uncle Sal-Sal likes to be a joker. If he is yelling at you, he really means that he loves you, and wants you to break something! Isn't breaking fun?

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/07/2003 11:16 AM

<action>puts on clown suit</action>



Hey kids, wanna see the crawl space?

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/07/2003 11:19 AM

Hey, nice copy of Zoobooks:Jenna Jameson in the Outback ya got there!

Feeble, Iraqi Weapons Inspector #27 32,400 15
04/07/2003 11:21 AM

I look forward to the day that Salvage spawns and attempts to inflict his kid pictures on me.



I have a long memory and a cruel sense of vengance!

Maynard NLI 3,203 10
04/07/2003 11:26 AM

Red's kid is cute, and Feeble's great-grandkid is cute, but Seamus is way cuter than all of them.

Marty McFly 19,242 12
04/07/2003 11:28 AM

Your kids are cute and all, but those sloths with the stupid grins are cuter.

Maynard NLI 3,203 10
04/07/2003 11:28 AM

Your parents?

red eats pop rocks and coke!!! 600 16
04/07/2003 11:37 AM

Awwww......



Look at Seamus's cut little rosy cheekies......









Patience's are rosier.

Maynard NLI 3,203 10
04/07/2003 11:38 AM

I think that's due to malnutrition.

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/07/2003 11:40 AM

Two babies enter

One baby leaves

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
04/07/2003 02:45 PM

Salvage is describing his sex life again.

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/07/2003 02:46 PM

my daughter has a modeling contract, so nyah!

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/07/2003 02:47 PM

Uh the man in the van with the candy? I don't think he's accredited...

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/07/2003 02:56 PM

Red's kid is cute, and Feeble's great-grandkid is cute, but Seamus is way cuter than all of them.



Get the kid some Harry Potter glasses and he's Woody Allen.

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/07/2003 03:16 PM

but it's a really pretty van!

Pants 14,252 17
04/07/2003 03:19 PM

Get the kid some Harry Potter glasses and he's Woody Allen.





I was thinking Alfred E. Newman .

BunnyL 5,695 11
04/07/2003 04:20 PM

my daughter has a modeling contract, so nyah!



Did we learn nothing from the Jon Benet Ramsey incident?

salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/07/2003 04:22 PM

That if you kill a kid it's pretty easy to get away with it?

BunnyL 5,695 11
04/07/2003 04:23 PM

That too... although karma is a bitch.

From what I hear, the mom is about to take a dirt nap.

Daggy 86,684 14
04/07/2003 09:26 PM

Cute.

Pants 14,252 17
04/07/2003 09:30 PM

When did phone cord extentions go into style?

Trumpet the Insult Badger 1,677 10
04/07/2003 09:31 PM

Mid 80's when the power crimping tool was invented. For reference, see Stacy Q.

Daggy 86,684 14
04/07/2003 09:48 PM

Get bent!



I WIN!

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
04/07/2003 09:49 PM

All cute babies look alike, but all ugly babies are ugly in their own unique ways.

AmyPoo tips a 40 for her homie 2,710 12
04/08/2003 12:46 AM

Did we learn nothing from the Jon Benet Ramsey incident?



she was in beauty pageants. those are for dirty, dirty whores.

Doc 7,105 13
04/22/2003 03:26 AM

She looks like you, red.