I Love Dance Dance Revolution Max
A comedy article
by Chi-Chi Fellipe  161,353  14
04/23/2003 02:32 PM 408 views
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 Dance Dance Revolution is a PS2 game from Konami, the makers of the classic cut-scene film, "Metal Gear Solid: Sons of Liberty". Whereas you don't actually play much of MGS, Dance Dance Revolution offers an entirely immersive gaming experience. The purpose of the game is to push the button that corresponds to the one on screen (i.e. left arrow, hit the left arrow button). But unlike most games, you have to do it with your feet. Hence, the "Dance Dance" part of the title.
Since receiving this game in the mail, I have had lots and lots of people tell me that "DDRMax" is quite possibly the stupidest game they have ever heard of.
"A game where you dance?" they scoff, "How gay!" This derision comes not only from actual break dancer raver types, but also from the geekiest, most hardcore video gamers. Since I believe that this game is the most awesomest, sweetest thing since the NES Powerpad came out, I would like to take this opportunity to prove them wrong.
DDRMax is sweet. Some guy lost 130 pounds playing this game. One hundred and thirty pounds of sweaty, greasy, fat melted away, all from playing the most wicked game ever. How many gamers have had any positive health effects from playing GTA: Vice City? I'll tell you how many: none. In fact, people who were once barely held together by wire now tip the scales at 300 plus pounds simply because they have become so addicted to the gameplay of Rockstar Game's mega-hit that they just gave up on any type of actual physical activity. (Note: the claim I just made is probably false. Sometimes I like to lie).
But DDRMax, well rubberneck, that's different. You play for five minutes, and you're winded. Your heart rate has increased. You've actually done exercise while playing a stupid video game. Is anything better than that? Yes. But as of yet, no video game comes an with interactive blow-job peripheral. So piss off!
Anyway, I have provided the following pictures to show just how awesome and in-shape I am, all because I play DDRMax. In fact, my stamina is so high and my rippling muscles so tense and powerful that I could probably join the WWE. My name would be "Max Revolution", and my signature move would be the b-boy windmill death dance. It would be awesome. Did I say "it would"? I meant to say "it will"!!
Warming up to kick some ass. Curly the cat is stoked!
Some people like to hit the buttons with their feet. My vintage breakdance freeze totally rocks the final button combo!
Now I'm seriously rocking it! I had to remove my shirt, lest it burst into flames from my hot dance moves.
Oh yeah! Can't be stopped, yo! Curly the cat has a total boner.
So, as you can plainly see, I am just the awesomest at this awesomest of games. Although many of you will still not be converted to the ways of the DDRMax player, just remember that I am rocking it hard when I play my PS2, but the rest of you are just using the same fingers that use to pick your noses.
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Side-splitting
101 votes
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38 Comments on "I Love Dance Dance Revolution Max"
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Chickens 286,321  61
04/24/2003 12:47 PM
You're really up for the abuse today, aren't you.
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Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
04/24/2003 01:54 PM
This article about <product name> changed my life! After reading it I rushed right out to get <product name> for myself. I don't know how I ever lived without <product name>! Before <product name> my life was a meaningless dark void. Now I feel complete, filled with burning passion for <product name>. Thank you <product name>!
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Long Live Saddam! 11,939 13
04/24/2003 01:58 PM
All hail the wonder that is Chi-Chi.
Those rippling abs....oh lookit that...I got a chub-on.
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salvage of the Elite 28,986 12
04/24/2003 01:58 PM
Chi-Chi I'm sorry but before I thought it SOUNDED gay, now that I've seen it in action?
Gay Gayerton of Gayton, Gayasska would think it a tad gay.
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Chickens 286,321 61
04/24/2003 02:03 PM
Have you got a tatoo around your nipple?
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Long Live Saddam! 11,939 13
04/24/2003 02:17 PM
What are those, Marlboro lights? Hypocrite!
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Chemical Oedipa 650 11
04/24/2003 02:59 PM
Rock on, fellow DDR master, rock on. Naysayers shall instantly perish playing Matsuri Japan in Standard mode!
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Supercunt 19,936 13
04/24/2003 03:02 PM
You probably have learned enough about fighting from that game to kick Chickens or his teacher's ass in a fight.
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Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
04/24/2003 03:55 PM
man, if you just used that and ate delicious Subway sammiches, you'd be nothing but a skeleton in no time!
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Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
04/24/2003 04:55 PM
Yes, thank you. All nay-sayers have been silenced... the one's, at least, who didn't think I was a total kook...
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Stringy McNoodles 4,643 11
04/24/2003 05:12 PM
I'm ashamed to say this brought back memories. One time at a 'party' of the most boring girl at our school, there was nothing to amuse us, so she whipped out the dancemat. We all scoffed and rolled our eyes, but truth is, once you're up there dancing to The Bad Touch, you sort of forget the fact that you're jumping round on a plastic mat to happy poppy music, which I would have considered immature at age 9. So while I do not condone this behaviour in a grown man...so very well grown...I know where he's coming from.
Now please, shoot me.
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Supercunt 19,936 13
04/24/2003 09:19 PM
I have DDR for my PS1. IT's cool, but I need to nail the pad to a board or something to keep it from moving around.
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Boots at the Boar 2,305 11
04/24/2003 10:59 PM
Now, a dozen pudgy people are going to go buy DDR expecting to get ripped, but will find that they were just ripped off, thanks to you. I hope you're satisfied.
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Boots at the Boar 2,305 11
04/24/2003 11:01 PM
PS. You call those muscles. I could kick your ass. My arms are bigger than that narrow-ass chest of your's.
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Kenshin 2,469 13
04/25/2003 03:30 AM
Hey dipShakespeare. Konami PUBLISHES DDRMAX, DDRMAX is made by KCET while Metal gear is made by a completely different team KCEK (Kobe).
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Forbidden Antipodean Zugtart 86,684 14
04/25/2003 03:38 AM
Get with it old timer!
He's not a dipShakespeare, he's an asshat!
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Chickens 286,321 61
04/25/2003 06:52 AM
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHA AHHAHAHHAAH
HAHH HHAHAHAHAHAHH
chi got picked up on Trixie's gaydar. Now his anal cherry's days are numbered.
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Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
04/25/2003 03:42 PM
Dammit all to hell. Kenshin, thanks for the info. Next time I do a piece of serious journalism, I'll make sure I do my research. I'm so embarrased!
And Boots, I'm glad you have arms as thick as my chest. That means that my penis is as thick as your arms! Your arms must be HUGE!
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Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
04/25/2003 03:48 PM
Ha. Haha. Hahahahaha.
He called a Zug article a serious piece of journalism.
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Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
04/25/2003 03:56 PM
Maybe I need to italicize the sarcastic bits... it seems to be lost on so many people.
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Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
04/25/2003 04:02 PM
Oh and Adam, I mean Moo Goo? If you ever speak of our mother's loins again, you sick Frost, I will come to Maine and personally twist your fat man boobies....
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Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
04/25/2003 04:09 PM
I reserve the right to ignore sarcasm when it tickles my funny bone.
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Supercunt 19,936 13
04/25/2003 06:00 PM
it's always the same leg
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therapist 0 10
04/25/2003 06:39 PM
seth, i mean chi chi fellipe... or whatever the Frost, elisha an i read that Shakespeare. you suck at life. and i'm going to rape your mother... well, if i had to i would, so i'll just Frost her instead. -the rapist
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therapist 0 10
04/25/2003 06:40 PM
shakespear? bullspit, i said Shakespearee! anyway funk you and the gay horse you funked in on.
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therapist 0 10
04/25/2003 06:42 PM
frost her? funk that. i'm gonna put my kielbasa between her sweet sweet loins and plunge into her heavenly beef curtains. word biznitch.
p.s. it's all true.
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Statickitten loves Beaker 24,428 11
04/26/2003 12:21 AM
Beef curtains? He must be Frost-ing a cow.
Kinders Meats: You can lick our chops but you can't beat our meat!
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psychaholic, a bear of very little peen. 4,888 13
02/18/2004 04:57 PM
Hot bod, hot game.... Yet you are pictured alone......
hhhmmmmmmmm....
Cheap shot, I know.
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Frou Frou Secsi Dragon Lady 156,785 17
02/18/2004 04:58 PM
He has a kid now, he'll never be alone.
Muahahahahahaha!!
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Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
02/24/2004 03:37 PM
Trae's right. I haven't had the chance to play since... I don't know.
*weeps*
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