Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:01 PM

First, the imposition of the swearbot is injust and wrong (actually, since it is optional, I don't see any problem with the swearbot. But this is an essential part of the letter, traditionally speaking). It is wrong to force people to refer to poets or pasta when they wish to swear, or to force people to listen to swearing when they would rather listen to poets or pasta. I'm sure you see the problem with this (I don't, but it's traditional).



Second, it is obvious that the requests of the Gab community are not being respected, since John continually fails to respond to emails or Gab requests. (This part is incorrect, in my experience. I have emailed John on two or three occasions, back when he was out of work, trying to give him a reference and sympathizing with the experience of a pregnant wife. He got back to me promptly, and was quite friendly. However, again, this is really an important part of the letter, traditionally speaking.)



Remember, John, that Gab does not belong to you, but to the people who use it, even though it is an essential part of Zug, which does belong to you. It is kind of like my local Starbucks, where my friends and I hang out. When the manager tried to replace the sofa, I protested, telling him that since we hang out there, it was our Starbucks and our sofa. Later, when he tried to kick me out for taking off my pants, I explained to him that since I spend time there, it is my place to do with as I please. As soon as the restraining order is lifted, I plan to return to pee all over the sofa, because it is, after all, mine. I'm sure you see my point.

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:02 PM

Third, I am offended by something or other. (This part is generally kind of vague - somebody says something about somebody. I think that the vagueness is actually a part of the tradition, so I will keep it that way.)



Fourth, your actions in banning anyone for any reason at any time just because you have a reason are offensive to my libertarian belief system. I hope that Isaac spends time on these boards, and becomes a homosexual as a result of the influences of people like Trixxie and Declan, just to show you how wrong you are.



In conclusion, Frost you, John Hargrave. Frost. You.



Thank you for your time

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:02 PM

At this particular moment in time, you have to leave because trae posted her boobs, no other reason is acceptable

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:10 PM

Damn, I forgot that part.



The presence of the female breast on Gab is a bad, bad thing, and is another reason to leave (Well, I don't believe that, but it is important to stick with tradition.)

Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
05/01/2003 04:14 PM

You will be missed.



Take jujube with you.

punkin 3,585 11
05/01/2003 04:14 PM

glad to see we've had our daily lemonade enema, for that sunny disposition...

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
05/01/2003 04:16 PM

don`t let the door hit ya where the good God split ya!

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:16 PM

Now you have to go Here and bitch about what a bunch of loser we are.

Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
05/01/2003 04:17 PM

Gab just isn't what it used to be...that should have been a goatse link.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
05/01/2003 04:18 PM

I used to say that I would never be like the people on alt.tv.simpsons (now The Simpsons Archive), the ones who all whine and bitch about how the Simpsons used to be, and how lame it is now, and yet they still remain glued to every new episode that comes out. I think GAB is kind of like that. But the thing that worries me is sometimes during a new Simpson's episode, I'll think to myself "Hmm, that's somewhat out of character for Lisa/Homer/Bart/Marge etc..." and realize that I am becoming one of those Simpsons internet geeks. Sometimes I worry, will I end up loathing GAB only to lurk whilst posting to other boards about the suckiness of GAB?

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 04:19 PM

Trixxie, it's not nice to shine ass over there and then backstab.

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:20 PM

I think it is a good idea to get that over with early, Chi-chi. See, now that I have written my letter I can go on without worry about it.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:21 PM

Nor is it nice to start threads over there to stir up the old H8 between boards. by the by, exactley who's ass am I shining and who am I backstabbing?

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/01/2003 04:22 PM

The guy with the shiny ass and the big pink knife in his back?

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
05/01/2003 04:24 PM

That's no way to treat Jerome.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 04:24 PM

I'm not nice.



You post over there acting like you're everybody's buddy and then you call call the whole board a bunch of bitchers behind their back.



I tell you Frosters you suck everyday. I stab you right in the face.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
05/01/2003 04:24 PM

I'm so glad you noticed! In fact, I got my ass buffed yesterday, but no one even mentioned it until now!

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 04:28 PM

Chili, you are my new best friend.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:28 PM

I think you need to re-examen the sarcasm in both these thread and the irony of the thread you just started over there. Nobody is calling everybody over there a whinny little bitch boy.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:31 PM

I'm not nice.



You post over there acting like you're everybody's buddy and then you call call the whole board a bunch of bitchers behind their back.



I tell you Frosters you suck everyday. I stab you right in the face.



Well I guess I had better be relieved that you seem to be just as hated over there as you are here.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 04:32 PM

I stab you right in the face.



You missed.

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:32 PM

Thanks, Trae. I am honored to have a best friend with breasts like yours.



I forgot something, though -



Zug is no longer funny, it has turned into a giant money-making scheme for John Hargrave. Nothing more than a commercial for Walgreens and a place for him to bitch about his boo-boos. That part is important as well.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 04:34 PM

I'm more hated over there.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:35 PM

Ohh yes, it is also customairy to post naked pic of yourself before you leave.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 04:35 PM

I'm more hated over there.



Don't flatter yourself.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:36 PM

Isn't it only over here we make fun of you for asking Miyu to poop on you.

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:38 PM

umm... I don't remember seeing that part before, Trixxie. You sure?

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
05/01/2003 04:38 PM

Don't let tha smooth taste fool ya! Snap!!

Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
05/01/2003 04:38 PM

can we start a thread for HOB/GAB discussions and you people can just take it there and bitch about it there so the rest of us that could give less than a Shakespeare don't have to sift through all your pointless discussions/insults about the two boards?



frankly, as someone who has only been to hob a few times and have joined gab after the split, I find these debates quite tedious and pointless. Might as well talk about religion, abortion and politics as well.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 04:39 PM

I'm really out of the loop on the whole "Snap" thing. Can someone please explain that to me so I can add that to my pop culture lexicon?



Thankseversomuch.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
05/01/2003 04:41 PM

Sure. It's like when you zing someone, for instance "yo dawg, them's some tight rims... if you's a BUSTER!! OH SNAP!" See, it's really easy to incorporate.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 04:42 PM

Thanks... I see the usage there in that example. But... where did it originate? Who used it first? What does the SNAP ghing stand for?



Is it akin to flicking someone in the head?

Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
05/01/2003 04:42 PM

word mother-Froster, word.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 04:44 PM

I saw Jimmy Fallon use it on one of the Weekend Updates - but previously I always thought people meant to say "Oh Crap!" and were messing it up.

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:44 PM

I think it's supposed to be a literal finger-snap, like the cool kids do on Ricky Lake after they say "You think rule, but really you DROOL!" HA!

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/01/2003 04:44 PM

We uhh, usually take them down a week or two later, but I archive them; You can just mail them to me direct.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
05/01/2003 04:46 PM

Um, I think it's just like saying "snap", instead of actually doing it with your fingers. Civil War amputees actually originated the usage.



"I was standin' thar, ready ta fight them Yankee's when I got hit, snap! just like that and got my dern hand shot off. So now I can't snap no more."

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:47 PM

Well, darn it, I don't happen to have any naked pictures of myself on my computer here at work. What a delema.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 04:47 PM

Ohhhhhhhhh.



Now I get it...

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
05/01/2003 04:49 PM

As part of the Gab tradition, allow me to post a heartfelt plea asking Chili to reconsider; and, failing that, asking John to reassign all his Ottos to me.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 04:49 PM

I have to flatter myself. If I didn't flatter myself, the earth itself would have to rumble in praise of me.

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 04:53 PM

Thank you for your plea, Feeble. But my mind is made up. I plan to leave at approximately 5:00 pm, Eastern time, this afternoon. I probably will not return until tomorrow. That, I believe, is a longer absence than many previous departers have taken. During that time I will not even lurk.

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
05/01/2003 05:00 PM

That's not the earth. That's your stomach.

It's not praise. It's nausea.

And I think you meant to say "poop myself", not "flatter myself".



Other than that, an excellent post.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 05:11 PM

And by "That's not the earth. That's your stomach." Feeble means "that's fantastical like something that would happen to jesus I love you!"



And by "It's not praise. It's nausea." Feeble means "I want to praise you as well but I don't think I could ever praise you as much as you deserve!"



And by "And I think you meant to say "poop myself", not "flatter myself"." Feeble means "damn I just Shakespeare my underpant and now I'm eating the dookie from my underpants like it was a bowl of cereal I LOVE DOO DOO IN MY MOUTH!"

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 05:14 PM

Supercarrol, I think you may be downgrading the moral tone of this thread.

El Volante 10,315 10
05/01/2003 05:14 PM

Go write a blog.

Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
05/01/2003 05:22 PM

who's supercarol? OH! That dumb mother-Froster still has his swearbot on!



*points and laughs*

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 05:24 PM

Holy Shakespeare! That guy was talking to me!?

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
05/01/2003 05:24 PM

I could say what it is that Scooter enjoys the taste of, but that would be offensive to the QTA members, who would not want Scooter to have a membership.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
05/01/2003 05:27 PM

Hah! All of you have your swearbots on, because my REAL name is Coleridge-Dick CarrollLick. Stupids!

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 05:29 PM

And by "I could say what it is that Scooter enjoys the taste of, but that would be offensive to the QTA members, who would not want Scooter to have a membership." Feeble means "I like to have fecal sex with male babies."

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
05/01/2003 05:30 PM

Fecal sex?



I've never heard of that one.



Is that where you let babies poop on you?



Let me tell you something. If that's sex, I'm guilty of a lot of pedophilia over the years. Lots of diaper changes.



Including yours, Scooter, when I used to babysit for your parents while they went out to burn kittens.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 05:33 PM

And by "a bunch of stuff feeble said" Feeble means "I have some kids and they all have bastards."

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 05:39 PM

Yep. I have the swearbot on. I GAB at work, and my boss periodically wanders up behind me. I think he might be alerted to my elicit gabbing activities by seeing your true name on screen.

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
05/01/2003 05:40 PM

Only two of the four.



And if they had never read your evil posts, they'd still be virgins!

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 05:43 PM

And by "And if they had never read your evil posts, they'd still be virgins!" Feeble means "scooter round me up some hoez I heard you were the bestest pimp evar!"

Feeble, Annoyer of Gabbers 32,400 15
05/01/2003 05:45 PM

Actually, I heard you were the best whore ever, but I don't believe everything Trixxie says he's drunk.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 05:47 PM

No, Trae is my best whore ever.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 05:52 PM

I quit.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 05:57 PM

BUT I ALREADY GAVE OUT TRAE COUPONS

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 06:00 PM

"I apologize for the distribution of TRAE COUPONS by my pimp Scooter Brown. As of today, I will no longer be accepting these buy one get one free coupons. We regret any inconvenience this may cause."

Chili 8,880 12
05/01/2003 06:00 PM

Alright, I am off for my official time away. If you have any extra coupons, I will take them with me and see about stopping by this evening to find out if they can still be honored.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 06:02 PM

they'll be honored. There may be chains and a gag involved, but they'll be honored.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 06:03 PM

pimpin ain't easy, kids.

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 06:07 PM

whatevah! I'll do what I want!

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 06:12 PM

it's my hot body and I'll do what I want!

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 06:13 PM

it's my hotel room so I'll do what I want!

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 06:16 PM

I payed for half of it!

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 06:17 PM

Sucker!!

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 06:23 PM

if you insist!

Tone Deaf Hippie 11,939 13
05/01/2003 06:26 PM

And the Whiny Bitch of the Year Award goes to....

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 06:31 PM

Chili?

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 06:39 PM

Yes please.

Tone Deaf Hippie 11,939 13
05/01/2003 06:41 PM

Let's just say it was a mother-Frostin landslide.

Supercunt 19,936 13
05/01/2003 06:53 PM

of chili?

Trae: 30% Humor 86% Breasts 156,785 17
05/01/2003 06:57 PM

with beans?

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
05/01/2003 07:21 PM

Vlad's just glad Chili is continuing with the tradition of posting they're leaving, then continues to post 20 times.



Chilli, mad props, yo!

Feeble, Iraqi Weapons Inspector #27 32,400 15
05/01/2003 09:25 PM

If Trae "persuades" Chili to stay using her favorite method, will that be



Chili con carnal knowledge?

Vlad the Impaler 19,599 12
05/01/2003 11:21 PM

Feebs, that was pure poetry Vlad's friend.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/02/2003 09:17 AM

The sexual inuendo in this thread is so thick, you could cut it with a fork; but use a spoon, you'll want to get every drop.

Chili 8,880 12
05/02/2003 09:45 AM

Well, I'm back from my self-imposed exile. I had thought about just starting a new thread, but it seems that the tradition dictates that I simply return to post again.



In partaking in this experience, I learned several things:



-People will take any opportunity to make poo-poo jokes at one another, even in the midst of a solumn occasion like a leaving letter. Interesting.

-There are members of this board who have a difficult time with sarcasm or irony. Not really a surprise, just an observation.

-Sexual tension can, in fact, come from any topic whatsoever here on GAB. At some point in the future I plan to initate a conversation about label printers, just to prove this point.

-While I normally do not log on to GAB during the evenings, having an evening of self-imposed exile actually made me want to go log on. I think this may become addictive.

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
05/02/2003 02:17 PM

Label printers make me hot.

Tone Deaf Hippie 11,939 13
05/02/2003 02:18 PM

especially if the label printer gots a Coleridge n balls

Fluro 14,139 11
05/02/2003 08:09 PM

Oh, chilli, you have to die in a few weeks as well, a la chackens to complete the tradition.