Virnomine the Haberdasher 79,386 11
05/08/2003 11:10 PM

I think you got them all there Doc, except the wife thing...



Now the masturbated with an animal one, does that mean they were just in the room, or they were participating?

No Jew No Monkey 23,705 11
05/08/2003 11:12 PM

You ever thought of piercing your dogs toungue so when he licks your balls its more enjoyable?

Doc 7,105 13
05/08/2003 11:14 PM

holy crap you guys are masters at Gab

Papercut 1,397 11
05/08/2003 11:17 PM

Lisa Simpson is sooo hot...

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/08/2003 11:19 PM

I hope you trip over your forked tongue you nasty son of a bitch



Die! Die! Die!



Awww look at the cute Poe..er..kitty..I mean kitty..I'm NOT a lesbian.



Damn, he has an ass I could spank for hours.



Why does a dog penis look like a pimento?

No Jew No Monkey 23,705 11
05/08/2003 11:26 PM

I hope she doesnt look down and see the skid marks in my bvd's



I think I am going to buy her a douche and stick in her poe while she's sleeping



If she licks my ass I definatley ain't kissing her

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
05/08/2003 11:28 PM

Damn that Doc is sexy for a one-eyed quasimodo that only posts once a month now...

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/08/2003 11:30 PM

hmmm, I could get her drunk and sleep with her...



I play with myself in public



I want to kill you.



I could blame this problem on him...

Doc 7,105 13
05/08/2003 11:30 PM

I think I am going to buy her a douche and stick in her poe while she's sleeping





HAHAA C*Hokl spur holy Shakespeare[pp

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/08/2003 11:31 PM

if she licks my ass, I'm gonna smile like a madman

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
05/08/2003 11:32 PM

The two biggest things that go through my head that I wouldn't want people to know.



1. The things I'd be willing to sleep with. (Including Family Members)



2. All the intricate plots for global domination, or mass murder.

Statickitten is nose pickin', butt sniffin' 24,428 11
05/08/2003 11:58 PM

I'm really not drunk, I'm just acting this way so I can get laid.

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/09/2003 12:00 AM

It doesn't hurt? It doesn't hurt? I'd like to Frost him in the ass and see if he like's it.

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/09/2003 12:00 AM

that fat chick over there is hot as Frost

Statickitten is nose pickin', butt sniffin' 24,428 11
05/09/2003 12:02 AM

Yes I am Captain, yes I am.

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/09/2003 12:04 AM

<action> adjusts spandex pants





Damn, that hot tall guy over there isn't looking at me is he??

Statickitten is nose pickin', butt sniffin' 24,428 11
05/09/2003 12:07 AM

<action>wipes mayo off mu-mu</action>



I hope that bitch doesn't think he's looking at her, cuz I'm WAY hotter.

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
05/09/2003 12:08 AM

I'm going to remember her so I can envision her while fondling myself tonight.



I hope she didn't notice me wince in pain as my jeans crushed my balls while I was getting out of the car.



Maybe if I act like I'm sad that I hit that squirrel, she'll think it's cute and have sex with me.

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/09/2003 12:13 AM

holy crap, I just got off thinking about a woman old enough to be my mother

Doc 7,105 13
05/09/2003 12:14 AM

Shakespeare, once I have sex with her, head is completely out of the question for the rest of the night.

Doc 7,105 13
05/09/2003 12:18 AM

Shakespeare, I microwaved food hours ago and completely forgot about it, but I will eat it anyway.

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/09/2003 12:20 AM

Damn it, I just drooled in the salad.



Did I wash my hands before making dinner?



His zipper is open, should I tell him or enjoy the fact that he's not wearing underwear?



The cat licked it, so what?

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/09/2003 12:20 AM

holy crap, a half eaten hamburger on that table... I'm gonna eat it

Doc 7,105 13
05/09/2003 12:22 AM

holy Shakespeare I am getting an erection from petting this cat

No Jew No Monkey 23,705 11
05/09/2003 12:23 AM

no more diapers she didn't crap I'll wait till it falls off



oh they're hard poopies she don't need a new diaper



The dogs licking her spoon....Oh well she doesn't seem to care

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/09/2003 12:24 AM

This is a crowded elevator, take a bath once in a while, fat ass.

Statickitten is nose pickin', butt sniffin' 24,428 11
05/09/2003 12:26 AM

you don't know anything about the female anatomy, do you

Doc 7,105 13
05/09/2003 12:28 AM

Shakespeare, why doesn't she have throw pillows on this couch??



Frost, I think I ashed in her drink.

Doc 7,105 13
05/09/2003 12:33 AM

Damn, I've got a piss dribble on my pants

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/09/2003 12:33 AM

holy Shakespeare I just pissed in her ass and it was fun

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/09/2003 12:34 AM

holy crap, I use the word holy too much.

Doc 7,105 13
05/09/2003 12:36 AM

I am masturbating while talking to my friend online

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
05/09/2003 12:40 AM

I'm not chatting with doc anymore, I swear he's waxing his carrot or something....

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
05/09/2003 12:52 AM

Oh my God, I just killed a van full of Jehovah's Witnesses with my bare hands.

Nicotine Joe 52 10
05/09/2003 12:53 AM

I think I may have been too hasty in denouncing date rape drugs.



I don't sleep with enough eight year olds.



Man, I don't think any of these other people are actually joking...

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
05/09/2003 12:55 AM

No, I never tied him up, played with it, made him beg for release (and then to be untied!)

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
05/09/2003 12:57 AM

Oh my God, I wish Declan would start talking about public libraries again.

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/09/2003 01:16 AM

I wonder what it would feel like to shove larger and larger objects down my urethra?

Mr. Gardenback 8,660 11
05/09/2003 01:17 AM

I wish I didn't know what it would feel like to shove larger and larger objects down my urethra.

Captain Slutpuppy 13,428 12
05/09/2003 01:24 AM

I wish I hadn't just tried to shove an unbent coathanger down my urethra

Hyperspaz:zapsrepyH 3,290 11
05/09/2003 01:26 AM

I wonder if she scrapes?

Daggy 86,684 14
05/09/2003 01:28 AM

uh-oh, I hope that was just a fart.

Statickitten is nose pickin', butt sniffin' 24,428 11
05/09/2003 02:19 AM

oh Shakespeare, someone forgot to close their italics tag

I have to pee 702 10
05/09/2003 02:37 AM

i have forcibly inserted the soap into my anus

I have to pee 702 10
05/09/2003 02:37 AM

i closed like 4 italics tags and now we are golden.

Fluro 14,139 11
05/09/2003 02:46 AM

I had my A+ at age 15

won't the real john_shaft please stand up 795 13
05/09/2003 03:14 AM

I can't remember what the question was but I still want to forcibly mount you...

Livewire 78,229 13
05/09/2003 03:27 AM

While we were driving past that farm, I sneaked out a fart that could end a marriage and then blamed it on the cows.



I'd do that woman with blue hair and an able walker just for kicks.



I still like Iron Maiden. In fact I bought all their albums on CD when I wore out my cassettes.

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
05/09/2003 04:43 AM

I want to do the very nasty with James Hetfield.

Zappa Krappa 1,896 12
05/09/2003 04:52 AM

*i wonder if they'll ever find that body in upstate new york*



*what are you talking about, you never killed anyone*



*shut up, you, i did too*



*you're thinking of the movie goodfellas*



*oh yeah. nevermind.*

Chickens 286,321 61
05/09/2003 05:24 AM

Thank god no one on gab really knows I'm a 50 year old woman.

Zappa Krappa 1,896 12
05/09/2003 05:38 AM

werechickens?

Zappa Krappa 1,896 12
05/09/2003 05:42 AM

*i'm going to stare at those there breasts until i get caught*



*don't be an idiot, concentrate on her eyes*



*no way*

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 08:35 AM

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,

when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.

Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.

When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)

if you feel like letting go, (hold on)

when you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.

Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.

If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,

when you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,

everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.

And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)

(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
05/09/2003 10:19 AM

I cannot Frost-ing believe that Salvage, whom I normally respect, posted one of the worst, I mean worst ever REM songs.

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 10:25 AM

No that would be:



Stand in the place where you live

Now face North

Think about direction

Wonder why you haven't before

Now stand in the place where you work

Now face West

Think about the place where you live

Wonder why you haven't before

If you are confused check with the sun

Carry a compass to help you along

Your feet are going to be on the ground

Your head is there to move you around

(repeat 1st verse)

Your feet are going to be on the ground

Your head is there to move you around

If wishes were trees the trees would be falling

Listen to reason

Season is calling

(repeat 1st verse)

If wishes were trees the trees would be falling

Listen to reason

Reason is calling

Your feet are going to be on the ground

Your head is there to move you around

So Stand (stand)

Now face North

Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before

Now stand (stand)

Now face West

Think about the place where you live

Wonder why you haven't

(repeat 1st verse)

Stand in the place where you are (Now face North)

Stand in the place where you are (Now face West)

Your feet are going to be on the ground (Stand in the place where you are)

Your head is there to move you around, so stand.

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 10:27 AM

Every song off of Automatic For The People is gold. It's a perfect album and that song and video is great.

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/09/2003 10:28 AM

I'm having evil horrible thoughts about Salvage right now... wonder if he knows?

Virnomine the Xenophobe 79,386 11
05/09/2003 10:31 AM

sal likes REM...that explains everything now. Bet you like U2 and Don Henley too, and all those other stupid self-rightous, no-talent hacks that think we care what they have to say.

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 10:31 AM

Why is every post in italics even though I'm not adding any code?

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/09/2003 10:32 AM

Don't forget Pearl Jam...

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 10:34 AM

Virn wishes he were me not only for my massive penis and active sex life but so he could understand and enjoy REM.



I can feel his envy rushing throught the net like an MPEG of the Olson Twins pleasuring each other with a python that's just eaten a vibrator.

Squeamish 38,986 14
05/09/2003 10:36 AM

Not yet...

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
05/09/2003 10:36 AM

I have to admit that being from Georgia and going to college in REM's hometown... I liked them better before they sold out.

punkin 3,585 11
05/09/2003 10:37 AM

*i wonder if virn knows i'd like to put him in positions that would make gumby scream...*

Virnomine the Xenophobe 79,386 11
05/09/2003 10:37 AM

no, I'm quite happy loathing REM.



I just pray that maha loves REM and you'll have to kill yourself or him. Either way, we win.

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 10:50 AM

Maha already likes Buffy and other things I enjoy. It bothers me not, like they say in Texas, even a blind pig can find a truffle once in awhile or like their other saying "Well let's excute him just to be on the safe side."

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/09/2003 10:54 AM

I hope none of the people walking past my cube seeing an open spreadsheet walk in and find out that GAB is open in a small window at the bottom



I don't live anywhere near as risque a real life as I pretend.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/09/2003 10:56 AM

I learned the truth at seventeen,

that love was meant for beauty queens

and high school girls with clear skinned smiles

who married young and then retired.

The Valentines I never knew,

the Friday night charades of youth

were spent on one more beautiful.

At seventeen I learned the truth.



And those of us with ravaged faces,

lacking in the social graces,

desperately remained at home

inventing lovers on the phone,

who'd call to say, "Come dance with me"

and murmur vague obscenities.

It isn't all it seems

at seventeen.



A brown-eyed girl in hand-me-downs

whose name I never could pronounce

said, "Pity, please, the ones who serve.

They only get what they deserve."

The rich-relationed hometown queen

marries into what she needs-

A guarantee of company.

A haven for the elderly.



Remember, those who win the game

lose the love they sought to gain.

Indebentures of quality

and dubious integrity.

Their small town eyes will gape at you

in dull surprise when payment due

exceeds accounts received,

at seventeen.



To those of us who know the pain

of Valentines that never came,

and those whose names were never called

when choosing sides for basketball.

It was long ago and far away.

The world was younger than today.

and dreams were all they gave for free

to ugly duckling girls like me.



We all play the game and when we dare,

we cheat ourselves at solitaire.

Inventing lovers on the phone.

Repenting other lives unknown

that call and say, "Come dance with me",

and murmur vague obscenities

at ugly girls like me,

at seventeen.

Virnomine the Xenophobe 79,386 11
05/09/2003 11:03 AM

Is that Winger?

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 11:16 AM

Winger? You broughtBAM

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
05/09/2003 11:26 AM

I wonder if he'll notice that I just wiped a booger on his shirt.

The Supreme Empress Trixxie Moon LeMay 65,021 15
05/09/2003 11:30 AM

Twisted Sister.

Bloody Beaten Partially Eaten 11,939 13
05/09/2003 11:46 AM

Ogden Nash...Ogden Nash...Ogden Nash...Ogden Nash...Ogden Nash

Bloody Beaten Partially Eaten 11,939 13
05/09/2003 11:55 AM

WTC fall down...go boom.



If I killed George Dubya, would I become a God in some people's minds just as I would be a criminal in others? I could start a Frost-ing religion.



I am Jesus. I really am Jesus. Frost-ing a I am Jesus, I have to be.

Chickens 286,321 61
05/09/2003 12:22 PM

I'm too sexy for my pants...too sexy....

salvage your God for this evening 28,986 12
05/09/2003 12:26 PM

Hmmm Chickens really is a closet case.

Stringy McNoodles 4,643 11
05/09/2003 12:32 PM

Holy crap, I find that person attractive, and I can't tell if it's a man or a woman.

No Jew No Monkey 23,705 11
05/09/2003 12:37 PM

She's so hot I would eat her boogers

Vex 5,948 11
05/09/2003 12:37 PM

Holy Shakespeare, I love tits. Does that make me a lesbian?



If he comes in my eye again, I'm snowballing him on the sly.



If I ran that fat bitch jogger over, could I get away before anyone noticed?



This is my shower, I can pee in it if I want.

punkin 3,585 11
05/09/2003 10:36 PM

holy god, i can still smell his come... i knew i shouldn't have boned my boss in the supply closet on break...

Upptiy Bitch! 5,695 11
05/10/2003 12:10 AM

Thank god no one knows that the first time I saw KD Lang I thought that he was really hot

Upptiy Bitch! 5,695 11
05/10/2003 12:11 AM

Fortunately no one will ever know that I was home alone on a Friday night...



DOH!

No Jew No Monkey 23,705 11
05/10/2003 12:19 AM

If one more gabber degrades me I am going to.......post again and really say some stuff that is outdated and overplayed

Statickitten is nose pickin', butt sniffin' 24,428 11
05/10/2003 03:24 AM

I really want to degrade the monkey boy, but I also don't want him to post again

Alpha Maelstrom (click name for disclaimer) 5,097 15
05/10/2003 04:26 PM

There's a gay fettish involving eurethra-stretching and I hope cube asks declan about it.



I'd like to Frost-ing garote monkey with a chainsaw blade, to make sure he can't post again.



And a classic...



God, I hope I remembered to wipe the prints off the door. Did I leave the flashlight over there? God, first they called the cops on me after the dog, now this, FrostFrostFrost.

Fluro 14,139 11
05/17/2003 08:54 PM

We've been going out for 2 weeks, and I still dont know the colour of your eyes.



I think i just fell in love with myself. no really, id love to take me to dinn....

Neepneep, Como conolo quieres? 35,066 15
05/18/2003 04:33 AM

I hope he doesn't notice my sad boyish loafers

Fluro 14,139 11
05/18/2003 05:03 AM

Oh my god, shes wearing loafers! thats so hot!

Phuc 237,915 21
05/18/2003 08:58 AM

I hope I'm not stretching out her panties so she'd notice



I'll put cat food on my bunghole next time, kittie doesn't seem to lick long enough with the peanut butter



I'll ask a friend of mine to buy that Creed CD for me

dubyaD40 0 10
05/18/2003 10:18 PM

how should i bring this up....do u need a tissue...or maybe i'll rub my nose in hope that it's contagious...would i be wrong if i just tell him he's got a buger?

my girlfriends' sister is hot. i wonder if they'd both go for it. well, i can always daydream.

my nipples are hard.

if i put prostitute on my application i'd have a slightly better chance.

did i just nuht on myself?

I go coo coo for cocoa puffs

dubyaD40 0 10
05/18/2003 11:12 PM

i could've sworn i put on deodorant today.

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
05/18/2003 11:20 PM

I swear, some porn stars really need Viagra, desperately.

24,862 16
05/19/2003 11:05 AM

pardon me...

Phuc 237,915 21
05/19/2003 10:32 PM

Is that a 'roid or a dingleberry? I'm not going to break another fingernail trying to get rid of it.



I should stop my bitching and support our commander-in-chief.



Maybe Will will be cured of his gayness and him and Grace can get married and move to the Hamptons.

Fluro 14,139 11
08/08/2004 11:43 PM

Bump

TheFoye 55,700 16
08/09/2004 12:56 AM

Hmm I need me a chick..

A fat one

Yeah with lime jello

Yeaaahh

Shakespeare now how am I going to clean that up!

Maybe if I walk away no one will notice!

Shakespeare it's on my pants too they are sure to notice!

I will just wait here untill it drys!

What can I do in the mean time.

Hmmm Fat chicks!

Ms. Trixxie (Rotten Eggsssssssss Farts) LeMay 65,021 15
08/09/2004 09:46 AM

Somebody please fix dis