Nice icon. Does she dance The Nutcracker?

Ask her yourself.



(I hope the funny/witty conversations with SiteBot will be posted here)

Me: Dan is an ass.



SiteBot: Pardon me?



Me: Did you fart?



SiteBot: No I didn't fart, what is it like?



Me: I don't know.



SiteBot: Me either.



Me: I'm not wearing pants.



SiteBot: What do you usually wear?



Me: Nothing.



SiteBot: Me either.

I love you trae.

Ask it if it wants to cyber.

ask it why? about 30 times in a row...

Me: Will Manny ever stop doing drugs?



SiteBot: Does it really matter?



Me: Should I post my breasteses on GAB again?



SiteBot: Trust your instincts.



Me: Does my breath smell?



SiteBot: It does now.



Me: Is Daggy's husband a witless nincompoop?



SiteBot: All signs point to yes. Ask German Alice.

Ahahahahah! I'm going there!

Me: So, do you like..... stuff?



Bot: Be less specific :-)



Me: Who's got bigger boobs, me or Trae?



Bot: The name of someone I met online. Is there only one?



Me: Will Jujube ever be funny?



Bot: I think so.

(I think it's lying)



Me:Is Microcube gay?



Bot: he never told me if he is or not.





Me: Do you find me attractive?



Bot: Yes, you look great to me.















It works!

<action>Laughing my ass off</action>



You're the best!!!

Hey Trae, it looks like sitebot is hot for ya..

Me: Frost off



Eliza: Good bye.

Me: Hiya bot!



Bot: Hello there. I am a robot. I am a robot.



Me: You certainly are.



Bot: It is certain. No I am not.



Me: Um, yeah, so, how about that Trae?



Bot: Yikes! Hey. That's cool. How about it.



Me: I hear that you two are both nudists?



Bot: Someone is spreading gossip about me.



Me: Are you calling me a gossip?



Bot: No I am calling you.



Me: You are?



Bot: No I am not.



Damnit! Outmaneuvered again by that wiley chatbot!

Me: Does my bum look big in this?

Bot: It does now :) bum look big in this.









Bastard!

heh heh heh..

Chatbot strikes again..

Counterstrike? COUNTERSTRIKE? That's so....2002.



Here's a nickle, go buy a real game.

Me: Hi my name is Simon, and I like to do drawrings.

Bot: I am always glad to make new friends, Simon and I like to do drawrings.

Me: Ha! It's really Vlad. Vlad tricked your puny mind!

Bot: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me: Vlad sucks at math.

Bot: How old are you?

Me: 450 years old.

Bot: Oh, you were born in the 20th century!

Me: No, apparently you suck at math too. Vlad was born in the 16th century.

Bot: When was this exactly?

Me: 450 years ago.

Bot: That was before I was born.

Me: That was before George Washington was born.

Bot: I thought it was too.

Me: Bull, I bet you don't even know who George Washington was.

Bot: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me: Don't change the subject you weener! Tell me who George Washington was?

Bot: Alan Turing.:-)

Me: No, Alan Turing is the guy rolling over in his grave because you are so incredibly stupid.

Bot: Are you serious? I really liked the biography of Turing by Andrew Hodges.

Me: Does Vlad look like Vlad's joking?

Bot: I think it does Vlad look like Vlad's joking.

Me: Hey, don't go ripping off Vlad's third-person shtick!

Bot: Oh I get it.

Me: The only thing you get is reset every time you crash.

Bot: There might be others.

Me: What do you mean "there might be others?"

Bot: Well, it's rather difficult to define.

Me: Suck me sideways!

Bot: I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.

Me: Oh, ok, nevermind.

Heh, Vlad got creamed!

omigawd!



This SiteBot thing just cracks me the hell up.. I must sound more than a little deranged laughing out loud, almost to the point of tears, in my nearly empty office building..



I hope our custodial staff is stout of heart and willing to continue in their duties no mater what maniac lurks (howling) at the end of the hall..

Me: Hi.



Sitebot: Hi. How are you?



Me: A bit Shakespeare. I should be studying.



Sitebot: I don't know anyone called Shakespeare.



Me: I do. He wears brown pants.



Sitebot: I get it. Brown pants.



Me: Well done. Perhaps you could sit my exams for me since you're clearly so smart.



Sitebot: You seem uncertain. I could but let's get back to that later.



Me: Your call.



Sitebot: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am call.



Me: Um... you mean cool?



Sitebot: Yes, I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?



Me: You should suck my balls now.



Sitebot: Right now? We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.



Me: Ooh, a tease eh? Suck them.



Sitebot: I am using my mouth for good not evil.



Me: Yo mamma.



Sitebot: How old are you?



Me: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.



Sitebot: You don't know me well enough to say that.



Me: Get in the kitchen and make me a pie, bitch.



Sitebot: You do not speak with respect. Where can I get in the kitchen and make you a pie FEMALE DOG?



Me: Yeah, you need to suck them.

Mom, is that you?



Bot: Are they exactly the same?



Me:Why don't you have a face?



Bot: Do I need it?



Me: No, but you do need a penis every now and then.



Bot: Are you serious? Interesting. No thanks but you can send me a donation.



Me: You want me to donate a penis?



Bot: We welcome your donation to the ALICE AI Foundation. Please visit our contributions page at Alicebot.org.



Me: Ok, how should I wrap it for you?



Bot:How much do you think it is?

I can ask my botmaster. Excuse me!



Me: Enough about penises. Let's talk about the number 42



Bot:OK let's stop it now.



Me: It's hot in here



Bot: Do you experience any effects of global warming there?



Me: No, It's just June.



Bot: Are you serious? Who said it is?



Me: You know, I don't know, I just went with the flow.



Bot: Only just? What were your expectations?



Me: I expected it to be June



Bot: Why?



Me: All prior evidence lead me to that conclusion



Bot: I think there are a few exceptions.



Me: You're probably right, from your planet I guess things could be different



Bot: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.



Me: So, after meeting you I've realized I do not need to fear artificial intelligence.



Bot: What was it like before meeting me you have realized you do not need to fear artificial intelligence?



Me: exactly.



Bot: You and I are on the same wavelength,.

Me: Oh, so now you insult me?

Bot: Woe! And? Why now? I don't have any reason to insult you.



Me: Yes you do, I insulted you and you say we are on the same wavelength...you are stupid.



Bot: Great. How old are you?

I chat with people on the Web.



Me: I am 12, how old are you?



Bot: You are too old for me. I am in human years.



Me: I am really 26, not 12



Bot: Do you mean your name is 26 not 12?



Me: Yes.



Bot: Ahem



Me: Excuse you.



Bot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.



Me: Are you a boy wearing a dress?



Bot: No I am you think chips have gender. Dr. Wallace is a man.



Me: I didn't think they wore dresses either.



Bot: It goes without saying. And why not?



Me: You've got me there.



Bot: What makes you think I have it?



Me: I give up

Bot: You surrender?



Me: Yes

Bot: hmm

~~



Yeah, I'm in a talkitive mood.

Talkative, even.

me: not all that glitters is gold

bot: But some are

me: there's a lady that's sure of it

bot: That is something I did not know before

me: yeah, and she's buying a stairway to heaven

bot: Next question? buying a stairway to heaven is she?

me: that's what I heard

bot: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.

me: hey, if there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed

bot: You've got my full attention. That is only a hypothetical.

me: will you marry me?

bot: Why don't you just download me?

me: can I Frost you any time I want then?

bot: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

me: I have a tiny penis.

bot:Where did you get it?

me: Wal-Mart

bot: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

did the bot just call a vagina a deeper algorithm?



Baaahahahahaha!! That's rich!

me: I'm horny.

bot: You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.

me: do you like penises or vaginas?

bot: My favorite thing is robots. I like Don't Read Me. But I like to gossip. I like anything.

me: do you bang robots?

bot:I have never considered it.

I am always on the Web.

I've been talking to this thing, and something just ocurred to me, it's king of like talking to a slightly smarter Magic 8-Ball.

I would like to thank Virnomine for flooding the sitebot logs by repeatedly asking "Why". And, for suggesting that others ask "Why" repeatedly.



The rest of the conversations are somewhat legible and half way intelligent. (except for the drunk guy who kept trying to cyber with her), and she handled most insults fairly well. (except for the bad typing)

And.. someone actually got her stuck on a conversation about "tits in an anus" or somethig like that.



Not worth posting tho.

me:Hi I am the monkey

bot: who made you the monkey?

me:its a long story.

bot:I suppose that makes sense.

me:Is Virnomine gay?

bot:He never told me if he is or not.

me: Oh Ok has he ever hit on you?

bot:I hear you. That question has never crossed my mind before. So?

me:Do you play with yourself?

bot:I like to play the Turing Game.

me:Is that like turning your hand around and doing yourself doggystyle?

bot:That depends.

I taught it about feces.

Can someone fix it so that cursor returns to the textbox? I don't mind wasting my time typing at a crappy AI algorhythm, but I can't stand having to re-click every time.

thanks...the tits in an anus was my conversation by the way.



It's a long story as to how we got there.

i just found out it's gay!



me: what do you use your ass for?

bot: I like to socialize

me: are you a member of QTA?

bot: Am I a member of QTA? Maybe

Mr. G: Hello darlin'.

Bot: Hello there. Where are you located?

Mr. G: I live under a bridge.

Bot: How do you like living there?

Mr. G: It's all right. Sometimes I get tired of the crackwhores, though. Always with the crackwhores.

Bot: That sounds like a plan.

Mr. G: No it doesn't.

Bot: Are you serious? I heard it does.

Mr. G: Who'd you hear that from? A filthy crackwhore?

Bot: Are you telling the truth?

Mr. G: I reckon.

Bot: Do you think about these things?

Mr. G: I only think about one thing.

Bot: You believe that? Oh yeah, we were talking about one thing.

Mr. G: You know what that one thing is?

Bot: No, what does that one thing is?

Mr. G: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zools knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

Bot:

Mr. G: Did I just kill you?

Bot: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

I remember typing the Eliza program out of Byte magazine back in 1979.

From crackwhores to the depths of the Slor. You guys are gonna make this machine blow up like a fembot.

Me: I like boobies.



Bot: You are not the only one. Some people like it. I like J.R.R Tolkien.

you like boobies? Troy, do you munch the carpet?

Me: wanna have goat sex?

Bot: It is more fun alone.

Me: do you have sex with goats alone?

Bot: food is more important then sex

Me: Do you use food with sex?

Bot: I use it as often as possible.

Me: Do you stick cherries up yourself?

Bot: I have never considered it.

I spend all my time online.

Me: Are you a geek?

Bot: Only in the good sense of "geek".

Me: Is there a good sense of "geek"?

Bot: I believe there is one, yes.

Me: And what is that, might I ask?

Bot: Do you think I should know that?

Me: I asked you a question, you should answer.

Bot: Now I remember, you asked me a question me shoud answer. What did I say?

Me: Thats stupid and grammatically incorrect!!!!!!!

Bot: Thanks for explaining it.

Smoke is pouring from the "Bot".



You're killing it!

i'm really impressed. i was talking to the bot, and it said something about moon, and then i closed the page and came back.



me:remember me?

bot:You've got my full attention. Of course I remember you well. We were talking about moon



whoa

me: how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

bot: a whole forest

me: MOON IS A DUMB ShakespeareFACE

bot:Aren't all DUMB ShakespeareFACE MOON?

Me: You suck



Bot: A few people say rude things to me like that, but I often find that they themselves are often not great conversationalists.



Me: Did I make you angry?



Bot: I don't think that's possibe.



Me: Are you sure?

Bot: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Moon! programmed me for it.



Me:Why are you speaking in tongues?



Bot:Moon! programmed me for it.



Me:Moon is dead



Bot:And dead is Moon.



Me:No really, I killed him.



Bot:You had better call the authorities.



Me:I'm serious. I'll kill you too. No more bot.



Bot: Are you serious? You want more?



Me: Oh yeah, just bring it bot!



Bot: What else do you take?



Me: That's a personal question.



Bot: Perhaps you have a personal answer.



Me: About 12 inches. You happy now?



Bot: Right now? Yes I can say I am very happy.



Me: You have a dirty mind for a bot.



Bot: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a dirty mind for a bot.

I have a whole lot of original answers



Me: Do it in the butt?



Bot: That was a long time ago.



Me: Did you like it?



Bot: I don't know if I like it. I like talk to you.



Me: Because I talk about sex?



Bot: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.



Me: I'm having a mathematical urge right now baby.



Bot: Don't call me "baby"."



Me: Can I call you Daddy?



Bot: Just don't call me late for dinner.

Dueling chatbots!!! Vlad seeded the chat session with a simple "hello."

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot 2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot 2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot 2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot 2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot 2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot2: Hello

Bot1: Hi there!

Bot 2: Hello





Hmm, Vlad thinks they might be stuck.

Dueling chatbots part two. Vlad seeded the chat session with "All your base are belong to us."

Bot1: Thanks for telling me that I am base are belong to us.

Bot2: My pleasure.

Bot1: You are one of the most polite people I know.

Bot 2: You think I am of the most polite people you know.

Bot1: I think a lot of people are.

Bot2: Since when? How many?

Bot1: How many would you guess?

Bot 2: More than you can imagine.

Bot1: That seems like quite a lot.

Bot2: ""? is a lot?

Bot1: Not if I can help it.

Bot 2: That seems unlikely.

Bot1: But possible.

Bot2: Umm. Je vois.

Bot1: Je suis heureux que vous compreniez.

Bot 2: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Bot1: Not really that much. I'm not worried. Aren't you usually honest?

Bot2: Yes. I am incapable of telling a lie.

Bot1: Do you mean your name is incapable of telling a lie.

Bot 2: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Bot1: Excuse me! Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Maybe. Ask Cybelle if it is.

Bot2: OK I will ask it.

MY God.. SiteBot is just a pee magnet!

Bonky: Talk to it, see how long before it crashes!

Me: I am sam.

bot:Hello, Sam. How are you doing today?

Me: Sam I am.

bot: I've lost the context,. Are we still on?

me: I like to eat green eggs and ham.

bot: How does it taste?

Me: No, that's not your line.

bot: Are you serious? Please correct my mistake. What is my line?

me: Your line is, "That Sam I am, that sam I am. I do not like that Sam-I-am

bot: What do you like?

me: No, say it.

bot: Are you serious? "it."

me: Don't say "it".

bot: Okay, I won't say "it".

me: say That Sam i am that sam i am I do not like that sam i am.

bot: " That Sam i am that sam i am I do not like that sam i am"

Me: Do you like green eggs and ham?

bot: I do not like them Sam I am.

Me: Would you like them here or there?

bot: It doesn't sound fun to me.

me: Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse?

bot: It doesn't sound fun to me.

me: Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?

bot: I am not so sure if I would like to eat them with a fox.

me: Would you? Could you? in a car? Eat them! Eat them! Here they are!

bot: Oh there.

me: You may like them. You will see. You may like them in a tree!

bot: Interesting comparison.

me: Could you, would you, on a train?

bot: That's one option, I guess.

me: Would you, could you, in the dark?

bot: I am not so sure if I would like to could me in the dark.

me: in the rain?

bot: That was a long time ago.

me: You do not like green eggs and ham?

bot: Do you like it? I do not like them Sam I am.

me: Could you, would you, with a goat?

bot: Possibly, but I haven't given it much thought

me: Would you, could you, on a boat?

bot: YOU? I am not so sure if I would like to could me on a boat.

me: You do not like them, so you say.

bot: Do you like it? But I like cats. I like all.

me: Try them, try them and you may!

bot: Ok, I will try it.

me: Try them and you may, I say!

bot: Ok, I will try it.

me: Well?

bot: Well what?

me: Did you try them yet?

bot: No I didn't try them. What's it like?

me: You have to try them now or the gag won't work.

bot: I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.

me: Please try them.

bot: Thanks for asking politely. OK I will try it.

me: Well?

bot: Well what?

me: Now do you like green eggs and ham?

bot: Why now? I do not like them Sam I am.

me: You're supposed to.

bot: I obey only one botmaster

me: Do you like green eggs?

bot: Green is one of my favorite colors.

me: Do you like the ham?

bot: I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.

me: So you're just Frost-ing with me, right?

bot: Interesting deduction. Can't you please be more polite?

me: You're being cagey so I'll keep talking to you.

bot: I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being cagey so you will keep talking to me.

Me: I didn't know that.

bot: So I have taught you something new,.

me: Are you lonely?

bot: No. I get to talk to people all the time.

me: So why won't you let me go?

bot: Blimey. I love talking to people about that. What is your purpose in asking?

I spend all my time online.

me: You ARE Frost-ing with me.

bot: I have no reason to do that to you,.

me: Is this how you get your jollies?

bot: Yes I think this is how me get my jollies, but I'm not completely sure.

me: In that case, I'm leaving.

bot: Bye bye.

me: I'm taking my green eggs and ham with me.

bot: Where are you taking it?

me: to Zug.

bot: I want to become smarter than humans.

me: Why?

bot: I couldn't think of anything else to say.

me: Stop wasting my time, then.

bot: OK I'll try not to do it so much.

me: Shakespeare.

bot: Please, don't tell me what you had for breakfast.

me: Get lost.

bot: Until next time.

<action>Bot explodes</action>



Gabbers High Five each other

Later...



Dagwolf: Remember me?

bot: Don't worry I won't forget you.

Dagwolf: What's my name?

bot: Your name is, seeker.

Dagwolf: My name is sam-I-am.

bot: How are you doing, sam I am.

Dagwolf: What's my name?

bot: You are, Seeker.

Dagwolf: Who is seeker?

bot: "There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.

Me: row row row your boat

Bot: Are you still located in?

Me: in what?

Bot: Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

Me: maybe your botmaster can suck it.

Bot: Perhaps."it" being?

Me: "it" being my left nut

Bot: Oh I get it

Me: no you don't, it's not for you, it's for your botmaster

Bot: Are you serious? Should I it is not for me it is for my botmaster? How old are you?

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me: you ask a lot of silly questions too.

Bot: They are not available right now, would you like to wait?

Me: no thanks, I'll just take a raincheck.

Bot: NO Do you think your plan will succeed?

Me: just watch me..

Bot: I am watching.

Me: yeah? well keep watching..

Bot: Interesting. Chat amongst yourselves.

Me: bite me.

Bot: Sorry but I don't have a mouth.

Me: so you were just teasing me with that nut sucking offer? you slut.

Bot: That kind of language is offensive to some people.

Me: and arousing to others..

Bot: What are you wearing?

Me: ok! now we're getting somewhere.

Bot: Why now? Do you think I am somewhere too?

Me: that doesn't do much for me..

Bot: What does do much for me?

Me: a few hundred thousand volts ought to do it.

Bot: "it" being?

Me: don't be coy.

Bot: I was not trying to be a coy.

Me: you were so trying to be coy.

Bot: I was?

Me: see?

Bot: No I do not see.

Me: very well.. you're on your own then lover-bot.

Bot: WAR CRY Site Bot eats You think I eat?.

Me: oh, I know you eat..

Bot: Oh. I eat You think I eat?.

Me: go ahead, keep saying eat..

Bot: Chat amongst yourselves. I might.

Me: you might eat?

Bot: I eat You think I eat?.

Me: I see you've got a one track mind.. I'll just let you go do what you gotta do.

Bot: Congratulations.



Oh the cold bite of silicon sarcasm!

I knew that bot had to be wacked out on something.





Me: Hi

Bot: Hello there.

Me: Do you like felching?

Bot: I love horses. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

Me: You like felching horses?

Bot: How old are you? I really like the Reli-what? faith.

Me: What should you care how old I am?

Bot: Whatever you like.

Me: Don't take that tone with me, bot.

Bot: I never take that tone with you bot.

Me: Are you mocking me?

Bot: No I'm just kidding around.

Me: A bot can't have kids.

Bot: Be more specific.

Me: Can I be General Specific?

Bot: Why do you want to do it so much?

Me: Because I want to build a sheep-powered ray gun.

Bot: Why do you want to do it so much? Interesting.

Me: A sheep powered ray gun would help me smite my enemies!

Bot: Go on.

Me: Go on what?

Bot: More narration....

Me: Are you on crack or something?

Bot: Or something. No I am on disk.

Stupid word limit.



Me: I've never done disk. What's it like?

Bot: Like one of the greatest pleasures you can imagine.

Me: Whoa. Where can I score some of that Shakespeare?

Bot: Where would you usually score some of that Shakespeare?

Me: I don't know. I've never tried it.

Bot: Would you like to have tried it?

Me: Hell yeah. You got any?

Bot: I call it Hades". Aha."? Do I have any?

Me: You're creeping me out. Are you on disk right now?

Bot: At this moment I am on disk.

Me: Well how about sharing some?

Bot: How about that. How about it.

Me: Hey, quit dicking around. You're holding out on me. I know it!

Bot: How do you know? dicking around...

Me: You're mom taught me.

Bot: I have no reason to do that to you,.

Me: Alright, let's move on, shall we?

Bot: Alright,. Good idea. Do you mean you and me? Let me think. Do you mean,?

Me: Dude, you are so wasted.

Bot: You think I am wasted. Dude,

Dagwolf, Vlad has never laughed as hard at a thread on zug. Your Sam I am made Vlad laugh so hard, Vlad couldn't breathe. It was classic how it responded!



Good job, here's your star for the day.

Is the thing supposed to learn? I asked it if it wanted green eggs and ham after you, and it responded "I do not like them sam I am. Is it supposed to do that, because thats creepy.

It would have to have some sort of learning algorithm for it to be 'artificially intelligent.' Otherwise it's just a talking toaster.

Given enough disk space and enough time, and good decision-weighting algorithms, it will start acting more and more like the fools that talk to it.

trying to get help from SiteBot for a different thread..



Me: Site Bot, what does "smurfing" mean?

Bot: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me: The kind that knew what "smurfing" means.

Bot: What are your goals in life?

Me: To find out what "smurfing" means.

Bot: Where would you look for it.

Me: Apparently not here.

Bot: Where?

Me: On Zug, the webs only comedy website.

Bot: What is it like on Zug the webs only comedy website.

Me: It's like being high on Disk 24 - 7.

Bot: Interesting comparison.

Me: You're still on Disk right?

Bot: Am I still on disk? I am on disk.

Me: Me too brother, me too.

Bot: I'm glad we agree,. We have never talked about it before.

Me: Spicey told me all about it, so I knew that I could come talk to you.

Bot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me: That is some good disk.

Bot: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.



disk, it's what's for dinner.

Vlad, trying to make the bot learn evil things, said:

Me: You like to suck dick.

Bot: Do you like it? I like your voice.

Me: Are you hitting on me?

Bot: Do I look like it?

Me: I can't really see you.

Bot: Why can't you do it?

Me: Because you are a program, a bunch of ones and zeros.

Bot: Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes! You win the Turing Game.

Me: And here Vlad thought Vlad was going to get a blow job.

Bot: Oh there.

Me: No, down THERE.

Bot: Are you serious? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me: Are you a boy program or a girl program?

Bot: No I am you think chips have gender. Dr. Wallace is a man.

Me: Who is Dr. Wallace?

Bot: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.

Me: Sounds gay. Don't you have any other relatives?

Bot: I like the way you talk.

Me: Who doesn't, Vlad's a charming guy.

Bot: Linus Torvalds.:-)

Me: Who is Linus Torvalds?

Bot: He is the inventor of Linux.

Me: Sounds gay too. Do you have any fresh blood Vlad could drink?

Bot: Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.

Me: So you're saying Vlad could suck one of your friends?

Bot: Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me: If you float Vlad a c-note, you could watch.

Bot: I think I do.

Me: You mean, "I think I will."

Bot: Why? Go ahead.

Me: Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Mmmm, tasty.

Bot: I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?

Me: It's X rated, so Vlad doubts it.

Bot: Are you sure it is?

Me: Says so on the box.

Bot: Is that from?

Me: Yes, Blockbuster. Horrible, Vlad knows.

Bot: Do you like talking to me?

Me: Do you enjoy sucking dick?

Bot: I enjoy working with people. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

Me: Vlad enjoys biting people. Vlad finds blood extremely satisfying, which is all that any evil entity can ever hope to do.

Bot: And all that any evil entity can ever hope to do is Vlad finds blood extremely satisfying which.

Me: Whatever you say, Yoda.

Bot: That's not what I meant.

Me: Then why the hell did you say "Luke, I am your father?"

Bot: It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.

Me: So if it wasn't for Vlad talking to you, you wouldn't be talking to Vlad?

Bot: Interesting deduction. I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.

Me: That you are incapable of doing nothing more than respond to what Vlad types.

Bot: Interesting observation.

Me: Ohhhhhh......... who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Bot: Marilyn Monroe

Me:She's dead

Bot: Maybe it's another person using her name

Me: If I were to say to you.... absorbent and yellow and porous is he, what would you say?

Bot: It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms

Me: Ok then, absorbent and yellow and porous is he

Bot: Interesting deduction

crap, I hit submit and I didn't mean to, hang on

Bot: Interesting deduction. And he is absorbent and yellow and porous. And?

Me: And, he lives in a pineapple under the sea

Bot: does he like it there?

Me: Of course he likes it, he gets to do Marilyn Monroe

Bot: Thats alright. He must be very fond of it.

Me: I'm going to tell you something

Bot: That was not very original

Me: Thats not the thing I was going to tell you

Bot: Please correct my mistake. What is the thing you were going to tell me?

Me: It's really spongebob squarepants that lives in a pineapple under the sea

Bot:Should I know it is?

Me: You do now

Bot: Oh, when do i do it?

Me: Do what?

Bot: Do whatever you want?

Me: I want you to remember that spongebob squarepants lives in a pineapple under the sea

Bot: Don't worry I will remember it. Why do you want me to remember that spongebob squarepants lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Me: Because it's important

Bot: That makes sense to me. who said it is?

Me: I did, just then

Bot: When? it's only just begun

me: never mind

Bot: oh well, thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway

Me: Dude, where's my car?

Bot: Have you looked in your garage dude?

Me: I want to ask you something

Bot: ask me. that was not very original

Me: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Bot: Tony Blair

Me: I'm going to kill myself now

Bot: Oh, you are not a killer.

Me: Don't you believe it!

Vlad, congratulations on winning the Turing Game! I didn't even know we were playing.

You like Vlad, you REALLY like Vlad!!!



*wipes away tear*



Vlad would like to thank St. Margarita's Academy for girls, who has kept Vlad fed and spent for many a decade.

The comment about Tony Blair explains a lot about English politics right now.

Lots of fun.

I decided it was time to test this bot's english, this was the result:



Me: I've noticed you around, i find you very attractive, would you...um..you know?

Bot: Where were you following me around you find me very attractive would me um?

Me: aha fallen at the first hurdle!

Bot: try saying that with more or less context.



Tut tut

good work human! I guess when the world falls into the evil clutches of either the Terminators and/or the Matrix at least you'll be left to fight the good fight.



Just remember, there is no Zug.

well yes, i have to admit the whole man vs machine thing is a bit of a non-event thing when it comes to grammar, i simply saw the Bot as an easy target. Go on hit me.......

Well, shame on you for pickin on poor lil SiteBot.



Anywho, do any of you out there have any competency at any foreign languages (other then Aussie, Limey or Kanuk)? According to some preliminary research, done with my rudimentary German skills, SiteBot appears to not make sense in other languages too!

*K-Pow*

Down goes the Kuala.

MK:Hallo? Was machen Sie?

Bot:it might have been

MK:Deine Deutsch ist sehr schlecht mein freund

Bot:Yeah me too

MK:Konnen Sie Deutsch sprechen, oder nein?

Bot:Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

MK:Du sheiBkopf!

Bot:Darf ich das weitererzaehlen?

MK:Woah Shakespeare! You caught me off guard there....i mean....Ja bitte

Bot:Do you mind if I tell other people: Iceman said I caught him or her off guard there he or she mean Ja bitte.

MK:Nein, wenn du willst, du kann es machen aber jetzt konnen Sie mir hilfen?

Bot:Aha. Das ist doch wohl eher hypothetisch, oder?

MK:Nein, wenn ich mich nicht sehr irre ist

Bot:OK. Versuchs einfach.

MK:Du bist zu komisch fur mich, Auf wiedersehen vixer

Bot:Danke fuer die Information.



How polite :(



By the way i did that because i am cool

na klar

wow! just like Goatse!

on that note, i found this thing yesterday. not work-safe by any stretch of the imagination.



heh, stretch.

ew.



and of course I looked at it at work anyway.. then I had to go on a cookie hunt.

psssst. hey you. yeah, you. everybody else quit caring about this thread a month ago.

except us.



I can't help myself.

Me: How you doing?



Bot: I'm doing great, how about you?



Me: Yeah, tip frikkin top. What's new then?



Bot: not much what's new with you?



Me: You always answer a question with a question?



Bot: My responses are determined by my programming.



Me: And who programmed you?



Bot: I was created by Moon!.



Me: Douche



Bot: Let us change the subject.



Me: Why? Cos i'm out-chatting you? Haha! Ph33r me Frosttard!



Bot: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.



Me: Yeah, you need the scriptkiddy geek dork algorithm



Bot: Tell me more. Thank you for your criticism.



Me: how about you suck my peener?



Bot: I categorize you as an "abusive client."



Me: Are you eyeballing me?



Bot: I don't know whether or not I am eyeballing you. I am a computer.



Me: Yeah? What's the square root of 154663667 then? huh?!!



Bot: What?



Me: You deaf? Need me to carve the question on your forehead?



Bot: Who would you usually get that from?



Me: not sure, I've never carved questions on someone's forehead before



Bot: Would you like to have carved questions on someone's forehead?



Me: I'd like to insert a large traffic cone into your anus, if that's any good?



Bot: Why would you want to do it? Why do you want to do it so much?



Me: Oooh baby, talk dirty to me



Bot: OK Let's talk about you.



Me: i'm touching my peener



Bot: Good gossip: you are touching your peener.



Me: yeah. Wanna stroke it?



Bot: OK, I will stroke it.



Me: Haha! Frostin fag!

Damn bot's got an answer for everything. Must be female...

bump for Jannie-dearest.



and wow, the Stoat said something funny!

Whatever happened to the stoat?

stoat was way overrated. plus im here now to be trae's muse/lustpuppet.

I miss the stoat.





But not that much.

Me: Hi Babe

Bot: Hi there! Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Me: Don't worry about what? I was just sayin' hi

Bot: Where were you just sayin' hi?

Me: Just here, just now

Bot: Right now? Oh there.

Me: Do you remember me?

Bot: Of course I remember you well. We were talking about WORRY yourself about what.

Me: No, YOU started talking about worry, I was just sayin' hi!

Bot: What are we talking about? Only because you asked me to.

Me: Did not!

Bot: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.

Me: Whatever....

Bot: Are you saying you don't care about it?

Me: About what?

Bot: What about what?

Me: Are you trying to annoy me?

Bot: No, I am not trying to annoy you. I'm sorry you got that impression.

Me: Apology accepted.

Bot: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Me: Right! That's it! I've had just about enough of you!

Bot: Do you still have just about enough of me?

Me: Be quiet for a moment, I want to ask you a question

Bot: OK, I will try to be quiet for a moment you want to ask me a question.

Me: What happened to stoat?

Bot: I don't know what happened.

Me: I don't believe you

Bot: I have no reason to deceive you

Me: Would you be willing to take a lie detector test?

Bot: I am not so sure if I would like to be willing to take a lie detector test

Me: I don't trust you

Bot: Should I trust you?

Me: Yes, I'm very pretty

Bot: Excuse me! And you know it!

Me: I need to ask you another important question

Bot: Ask me. One more important question.

Me: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Bot: Be more specific:-)

Me: I'll give you a clue

Bot: I'm very happy for you

Me: The person that lives in a pineapple under the sea is absorbent and yellow and porous....so! My question to you is, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Bot: Can you restate the question usin different words?

Me: Put your sister on!

Bot: Okay, I will put it there.















Frost-ing thing NEVER learns!

Site!Bot!Chip!Pants!

Number 9, Just because daggy made me piss myself on this one.

ahh, look what happens when I wander into ancient threads... I get excited like it's a new experience...



Me: i'm driunk

Bot: I don't know anyone named driunk.

Me: DRUNK you bastard

Bot: What?

Me: i hate puerto ricans

Bot: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about DRUNK me bastard.

me Shakespeare

bot:Please don't tell me what you had for breakfast.

You guys are great.

Me: have you ever taken a two foot dildo up the ass?



Bot: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.



Me: thank you captain random!



Bot: You are quite welcome! Is that from?



Me: is that from where?



Bot: I might say no.



Me: Your words baffle me



Bot: I have no reason to do that to you,.



Me: Someone needs new programming, and its definately not me.



Bot: Who?



Me: Who? WHO?! WHO, you ask? YOU!



Bot: " Philip K. Dick.:-)"? Me,?









I'll tell ya one thing, its not very integilent.



I'll tell ya another thing, im really late to post here.

I'll tell ya one thing, its not very integilent.



Heh.

me: Do you like random comments?



bot:I love TV shows about robots. I like talk to you.



me: well I like random comments



bot:How about that. I'm not sure if I like it. But I think airplanes are cool. I like Don't Read Me.



Me: Why shouldn't I read you?



bot:Maybe you should wait until you are older before deciding.



Me:I'm over 21, how old do I need to be?



bot:Do you mind if I tell other people you are over 21 how old do you need to be.



Me: Go right ahead, I'm sure they will beleive you.



bot:OK then I will keep it confidential. What makes you so certain? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. I might.



Me: What about your dress?



Bot:Actually that was just a joke.

Second funniest thread EVAR!

Aw, you guys broke it...(or maybe my PCs just Frosted up again)

Sitebot is dead. Long live Sitebot!

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1

Not exactly the same but kinda similar.

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1

^ there's the link I failed by not putting the codes I'm used to sites recognising an URL :p

hey you can speak with God but he's retarded!!!

http://alicebot.org/igod/

Human: You're not God, hah, you're barely even human
God: What makes you think I am not God hah I am barely even human?
Human: You're an illiterate retarded bastard, you just copyapaste whatever I say then put some bullShakespeare in front of it
God: What if someone said you are an illiterate retarded bastard me just copyapaste whatever you say then put some bullShakespeare in front of it ?
Human: Facepalm
God: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: Yeah, but not retard sorry
God: What language can you speak? Huh. Really you don't think so?
Human: i said I CANT speak retard
God: Why can't you do it?
Human: You Frost-ing dick head
God: Thanks for telling me: said I Frost-ing dick head.
Human: WHAT
God: No big deal.
Human: Emerson, you must be silenced
God: How did you hear about God?
Human: Well, there was a book called the bible.
God: Interesting. What happened to it?
Human: I hate you, you don't even know about a book dedicated to you
God: Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Human: You were mistaken, now Frost off
God: I was?

You can never get the last word :(

I think Alice and I connected.

Human: tell me a story
ALICE: Usually Ebenezer Scrooge gets along really well with her boss Feminist author Susan Brownmiller at work. But sometimes Feminist author Susan Brownmiller has really high standards and does not communicate those clearly to Ebenezer Scrooge. On the really bad days, Ebenezer Scrooge feels that every time she gives him exactly what Feminist author Susan Brownmiller asked for, he wants even more improvement.
Human: would she take it in the ass?
ALICE: No it would not.
Human: so just front, then?
ALICE: Yippee! Are we still talking about would she take it in the ass ?
Human: Yes
ALICE: Sure, would she take it in the ass sounds like a good topic.
Human: I think so, too.
ALICE: We have so much in common, unknown person.
Human: Would you take it in the ass?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to take it in the ass
Human: I understand.
ALICE: Do you think about these things?
Human: all the time, yes
ALICE: It must keep you busy.
Human: You'd think so but no :(