Marilyn 12,471 13
07/21/2003 01:54 PM

As long as there's coffee, there will always be shots of vodka and Vitamin B.

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
07/21/2003 02:01 PM

Trust me..if you go to AA for the coffee, you've got serious problems. The coffee at meetings can generally be substituted for paint thinner, flea spray, engine degreaser, and battery acid.



And that's at the meetings where they give half a Shakespeare about the coffee.

Marilyn 12,471 13
07/21/2003 02:03 PM

I go to AA for the comedy.

WORTHLESS! STUPID IDIOT YOU SHUT SMACK UP YOU! I'M 12,005 12
07/21/2003 02:03 PM

...banner ads and hourglass icons appear to tremble and gyrate wildly before your eyes.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
07/21/2003 02:07 PM

...Instant coffee takes too long.





...You nickname Trae & Trixxie, Cream & Sugar (not in any particular order)

Whistler 185,889 44
07/21/2003 04:08 PM

...you're running in circles around Juan Valdez and his burro as they get closer and closer to your favorite coffee shop.

Trae 156,785 17
07/21/2003 04:11 PM

...you have to pee ever 10 minutes and each time you do, it smells more and more like coffee.

Microcube - Hero of Love 13,428 12
07/21/2003 05:33 PM

I've done that, except it smelled like cheap vodka instead.

Livewire, Iron Chef Canadian 78,229 13
07/21/2003 05:34 PM

...you ask the guy in the next cubicle if there's some work you can do, because you've done all your own.



...the flies in the urinal suddenly get hyperactive every time you visit.



...your teeth look like squares of a Caramilk bar.



...junkies follow you into the bathroom to ask you for merchandise.



Xxara should have a few (dozen) of these.

IIxXoOoXxII 896 10
07/21/2003 05:36 PM

Over here you can trade an AA token for a free round of shots

tlaxcatl 1,423 10
07/21/2003 05:47 PM

...when you begin to move at a speed so fast that time seems to stop.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
07/21/2003 06:34 PM

You sleep with your eyes open.

IIxXoOoXxII 896 10
07/21/2003 06:37 PM

when you find that your gall stone was actually a coffee ground.

Xxara 1,114 9
07/21/2003 07:05 PM

Thanks Livewire now the pressure is on UGH!!!!



When Starbucks sends you personalize Xmas cards.



When Juan Valdez knows you by your first name and sends you a thank you card for putting his kids through school.



When buying a coffee maker takes more time and research then buying your house or car.



When your nose hairs go curly, and your pubic hairs straighten.



When you open your cupboard to find you have more coffee mugs than all of your other dishes combined.



When you order a cup of coffee by how much caffeine it contains instead of the flavor (btw lighter the roast the higher the caffeine)



When you have to go to the hospital for a transfusion and they hook you up to a IV with a coffee pot on the other end.



When your child's first word is coffee.



When you can order a venti, sugar free, skinny, no foam, vanilla latte and not stutter, but the coffee house guy does.



You know more that two words for ordering coffee.



The menu at Starbucks does not frighten or confuse you.



I'll add more as I come up with them.

Declan McManus, the original click fairy 131,869 36
07/21/2003 07:12 PM

When your child's first word is coffee



Rookie. My elder niece's first word was espresso









You can break the barista's spirit by insisting on perfect crema. And do.

Pubah 56,794 18
07/21/2003 07:40 PM

When you shut your eyes, but can still see.

Livewire, Iron Chef Canadian 78,229 13
07/21/2003 08:20 PM

I want to try coffee made from GREEN (unroasted) coffee beans. Roasting kills precious caffeine.

tlaxcatl 1,423 10
07/21/2003 08:22 PM

been there ate those

Xxara 1,114 9
07/21/2003 10:40 PM

How did they taste...the green beans???

Frogpop 173,148 25
07/22/2003 04:41 AM

yes yes, how did they tase? (*bump*)

Frogpop 173,148 25
07/22/2003 04:43 AM

did I mean "taste" or "tas" de cafe? who cares.

Adrian, High Priest of the Lord Lucifer. 13,341 13
07/22/2003 05:31 AM

...When you start you day by snorting two lines of instant coffee powder.

Adrian, High Priest of the Lord Lucifer. 13,341 13
07/22/2003 05:32 AM

Snorting it does not only wake you up, it makes for a day of very colorfull sneezing.

Rick_Dammit 1,183 10
07/22/2003 01:26 PM

You crack the handle of the coffee mug in your grip

Doc 7,105 13
07/22/2003 01:36 PM

... you vibrate into another plane of existance.



... you die, yet keep on going. Whenever you start to feel lightheaded, you drink another cup.





You can never have too much coffee.

Xxara 1,114 9
07/22/2003 02:05 PM

www.tmcm.com

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
07/22/2003 02:10 PM

...you're piss smells like that fresh mountain grown aroma of Folgers.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
07/22/2003 02:11 PM

your... Goddam not previewing in the interest of time. Too much coffee.

Xxara 1,114 9
10/05/2003 03:50 AM

AAAAAAAHH CHHHOOOOOOOO!





oh look a Jackson Pollock

Livewire 78,229 13
10/05/2003 05:11 AM

...your reflexes get so sharp you actually develop Spidey sense.

Xxara 1,114 9
10/05/2003 05:14 AM

I want spidey senses!!

Teh Pr0n Fairy 1,722 11
10/05/2003 05:17 AM

Doc watches Justice League

Mad Caddie 81 9
10/05/2003 05:59 PM

... when you're crap looks like yesterdays used coffeegrinds



... when you walk in your local starbucks dressed like John Wayne in a western



... when you get arrested for beating the crap out of the 17 year old student because he forgot the sprinkles



... when your dog's name is "Starbucks"



... when you have a sign in your front yard saying "Maxwell's House" when your name is LipShakespearez



... where "folgers in your cup" is your new phrase for your wife putting her bra on.



... having "roast" for dinner isn't as it used to be

HRH BobJohnson 178,045 22
10/05/2003 07:33 PM

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee



Wait a minute. . . wouldn't that mean you haven't had enough coffee?

HRH BobJohnson 178,045 22
10/05/2003 07:49 PM

... You always pretend you have a Columbian accent.