Mookie on Wheels 17,582 13
08/16/2003 04:19 PM

Poe! A real man demands chocolate.

Lila, the ALL POWERFUL 78,550 13
08/16/2003 04:37 PM

I got my wisdom teef pulled when I was 20. Easiest procedure ever.



Can I have your Mepragam?

Frogpop 173,148 25
08/16/2003 04:42 PM

Easiest procedure ever.



Me too, once I got through a simalar drug induced haze.



I was eating pizza for dinner that very night! ..I passed on the crusts, but it was pizza nonetheless.

Mookie on Wheels 17,582 13
08/16/2003 04:43 PM

Gumjobs are great. I'd love to be a dentist.

PuggyD 48,304 12
08/16/2003 05:43 PM

I have yet to brave anything more sturdy than pudding, applesauce, and Mac & Cheese. But my family is torturing me by ordering Chinese tonight. Too bad I don't care for any lo mein-type stuff.

Lila, the ALL POWERFUL 78,550 13
08/16/2003 05:50 PM

Don't care for lo mein? Obviously they removed your brain with your teef.

ringworm 68,315 13
08/16/2003 09:03 PM

i woke up while the last one was being removed. it didn't hurt, but it still sucked.

Livewire 78,229 13
08/17/2003 04:29 AM

I was put right out. Mine was a complicated surgery. They had to cut away the gums so they could blast my wisdom teeth to pieces and extract the bits.



I had to take Tylenol 3 afterwards. I experienced blackouts during that time. The first one left me sleeping on the doormat by the front door. The second one was after I went back to work at the video store. I was out on my feet with a stack of videos in my arms. When I later asked co-workers why they didn't wake me, one of them said, "You looked like you were just REALLY interested in reading one of the movie boxes."

Lunchbrox, or Beeblebox 31,599 13
08/17/2003 04:35 AM

I've been put under 3 times in the past two years for dental work, and I like it. I quite enjoy that feeling of slipping away, and I also have very vivid dreams while under. Sure, the pain afterwards sucks, but since I've got an awesome dentist who writes me scrips for the big percosets, and lots of them, I don't usually feel anything at all for a while afterwards anyway.

HemLloyd 48,662 14
08/17/2003 09:13 AM

I'll drink to Tylenol 3!



Actually, I did, the only time I was prescribed it.



I had cut the tip of my left pinky off at cooking school. I had to have a skin graft from my leg to get the finger to stop bleeding. The dr gave me a prescription for T3 and I took it and it knocked me right out.



That evening, some friends from school called to see how I was feeling. They were on their way out to the pub. I felt fine, my finger wasn't hurting and I felt rested, so I figured that the Tylenol had worn off. So I joined them. After three pints, the last thing I remember is hearing someone say "Catch Lloyd". Somehow I woke up in my bed, but I don't remember getting there. After that, I kept it to two pints when I was taking heavy pain killers.

Daggy 86,684 14
08/17/2003 10:02 AM

I had my wisdom teeth pulled out when I was 21. 4 years ago to be exact.

Straight after, I went to lunch with my mum and we had steak and kidney pie. I couldn't feel my mouth, so red gravy was dripping down my chin.





Not a lot has changed since then.

Livewire 78,229 13
08/17/2003 12:04 PM

Three pints is enough to allow you to be safely transported to the Vogon constructor ship.

Trae, Mistress of the Webinet 156,785 17
08/17/2003 12:15 PM

I have had so much oral surgery I'm lucky my teeth aren't double jointed:



a) 5 Root canals due to various accidents when I was a kid. By the third one, I was like "skip the gas doc..just do it."



b) Cyst in my sinus cavity removed when it abcessed above my front teeth. They stitched me up with cat intestines. Yummy. When I woke up I got to see the cyst, they saved it.



c) Car accident, fractured jaw, broken wisdom teeth. Got all four done at the same time - mine too had to be blasted and cut out.





Vicoden is my friend. I barely remember any pain at all. I was in a drug induced euphoria for a week.



The only other time I was put under was during my ankle surgery. It was a "twilight anethesia" so I kept waking up during it and feeling the saw and him moving my foot in all un-natural positions. It didn't hurt though, just felt weird.



I AM HARDCORE!!!11!

Feeble, Knight of the Old Code 32,400 15
08/17/2003 01:14 PM

I had my wisdom teeth out at about 17. While my dad was driving me home, I decided to get out of the car while it was still moving.



My dad was driving 55 with one hand and trying to reattach my seatbelt with the other.



And, yes, I did suffer severe brain damage as a result, how did you guess?

The Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
08/17/2003 01:18 PM

Tylenol 3 is so lame. I could snort five of those and not feel anything but nausea or perhaps death. When I got my wisdom teeth out, I woke up to see my friend standing there (he was my chaperone. What a pal!).



FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK YOOOOUUUUU!!!, I shouted, to the horror of everyone in the dental clinic. Then they gave me percocet, sweet, sweet percocet. It was a "week" supply. Whatevs... I munched them all in three days. Yum! Then I got dry-socket. WHOOPIE!!!

Livewire 78,229 13
08/17/2003 01:28 PM

I thought dry-socket is something you get in prison.

Gonzo Booky Doog 20,522 17
08/17/2003 01:35 PM

My wisdom teeth extraction was bad. It was like a train wreck ran into a C-130 transport plane carrying LPG cylinders and rancid beef carcasses happened in an oil refinery.



When I walked into the office, I knew I was in trouble when I saw the protable defibrualtor. Then came the 103 year-old dentist with Lou Ferigno's forearms. They shoved a chunk of rubber in my mouth that stated like it was soaked in benzine or something, and I was out like a light.



Then, near as I can figure, a road-construction crew was ushered in, and told that "neatness doesn't count". Once their various gouging, blasting, and mulching implements had done their dirty work, they were quickly shown the door, and I awoke with a large amount of guze, and several fire-engines playing smash-up-derby in my head.



The good-doctor lt me know that I would probably have small pieces of tooth working their way out of my gums for a few months (MONTHS!), and I was led to a sitting room for a few minutes to languish in agony, as well as wish several uncommon diseases on both the dorctor's children, and ancestry.



My jaw had a range of motion of about 1 cm. I eventaully got home, and my head cleared up enough for me to feel every air molecule touching the insides of my mouth, so I had to drive to the Pharmacy, and make grunting noises while handing the pretty lady my prescriptions.

Gonzo Booky Doog 20,522 17
08/17/2003 01:36 PM

Upon returning home, and medicaing myself into a dull throb, I found I was starving. However, there were so many sutures in the back of my jaw that any attempt at chewing something made me black out. I decided that if I boiled some pierogies, I'd be set. I mean, soft pasta wrapped around mashed potato? what could be gentler?



It might as well have been a brick of grape-nuts held together by glass. I ended up tearing a corner off the things, and squeezing the potato out into my mouth like a toothpaste. This was my diet for about a week, when I got so frustrated, I bought a Whopper and put it in a blender. (Which didn't change the taste one bit, I'm surprised to report).



I could barely walk to the other end of the apartment for three days, which made me miss thanksgiving dinner with my folks, so it wasn't all bad.



Eventually, my sutures healed into two inhuman squirrel-like pockets in the back of my mouth, and I was able to speak and eat again, but I have much less fear of anything, now, having gone through this.

ringworm 68,315 13
08/17/2003 01:40 PM

i was left w/ a stitch about 2 inches forward of where my wisdom teeth used to be. i think that's where they stuck the tracking implant.

HemLloyd 48,662 14
08/17/2003 01:47 PM

Reading this thread makes me even happier that my wisdom teeth have come in straight and don't have to come out.



Talking about pain killers, I had kidney stones a couple of years ago and still have the demerol that I was given. Does it have an expiry date? I was saving it for a special occasion, but I keep forgetting that it's there.

Livewire 78,229 13
08/17/2003 01:55 PM

I don't know, but liquid Demerol is banana flavoured.



Daiquiris anyone?

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
08/17/2003 01:57 PM

My wisdom teeth are firmly in place, and if anyone wants them they'll have to pry them out of my cold, dead mouth.

One Gross Man 248 10
08/17/2003 03:59 PM

I had mine out when I was 17, and they were the worst the guy had seen in a year.



I also had a secret plan to yell 'Help, I've been given a sex change!' the second I woke up, which I actually remembered to do.



That scared the nurse so she injected me with something that made me so blissful I began singing praises of her breasts to everyone that walked by.

Mr.Glass 25,340 11
08/17/2003 04:04 PM

I remember teeth.... Gooobjerzlaberhbhtmj;j..



Teehee...... teeth. THE TEETH!!!

Oedipa McGee 650 11
08/17/2003 04:46 PM

Me, the gas mask didn't fit over my nose right and it made me really paranoid and they couldn't find a vein anywhere so I thought they were going to kill me. When I woke up, I was super pissed. My boyfriend at the time nicely touched my arm and I said, "Back off, mother-Froster. Don't touch me."



I was lucky enough to witness my husband getting one of his wisdom teeth removed by a freaking third world doctor who pulled it out without anesthesia. We had to walk back to his house and then drive to the pharmacy. I don't know about the strength, but Tylenol 3 with codeine made him blurt out the hilarious phrase "I want to cut my arms off...right here." That's just above the elbow for you folks playing at home.

Mr. Slappy 6 9
08/18/2003 03:45 AM

I am lucky that mine never formed but my mom recently had a really bad sinus problem that the doctor though was due to seasonal allergies so he gave her some Allegra D. A few days later her upper lip starts to swell and she starts to get a rash and goes back. The doctor then learns that she is in the rare group of people who are allergic to many of the 12-hr allergy meds, and her upperlip still didn't go down. She goes to the dentist, she went to him years ago for this and he said it was her sinuses, and he then makes a small hole in her gum and apparently it was full of pus and she got a root canal later that day, thank god she has good insurance and they took her in. But anyway this whole thing probably came from an event that occured about 14 years ago when she stumbled and broke a took on the steps of her office.

Gonzo Booky Doog 20,522 17
08/18/2003 08:25 AM

One of those winter hats with the ball at the top? Wierd.

Frogpop 173,148 25
08/18/2003 09:01 AM

Canadian insurance policies usually have comprehensive took coverage, but it's a rarity elsewhere; You're right, she was lucky.

NavyBoy 19,912 12
08/18/2003 09:05 AM

Vicadin? Tylenol 3? Demerol? Percoset? What are these strange things you speak of?



3 days' supply of Motrin (250mg) and sent straight back to work.



Pussies...

Hot Buttered Stoat 9,077 10
08/18/2003 09:32 AM

I had all four out when I was about 18...



The nice dentist crushed one of my teeth in the pliers, embedding ships of tooth in my gums and cheeks. An act which he neglected to mention to me...



I was taken home by my sister afterwards, via the video shop, where I proceeded to stagger around, bloor pouring out of my mouth, a big smile on my face, and pay for a video with my credit card.



6 months later I was still removing shards of teeth from my gums...

Virnomine 79,386 11
08/18/2003 09:34 AM

ships of tooth?



Arr matey, avast that tooth ship!

Frogpop 173,148 25
08/18/2003 09:37 AM

Incisor? I hardly know her!

RapidChickens 286,326 61
08/18/2003 10:18 AM

I drove from Durham NC to Knoxville TN in about 30 minutes while on post-wisdom teef percoset fog. I remember it not. I do know I set some sort of land-speed record for a VW Beetle though.

PuggyD 48,304 12
08/18/2003 11:22 AM

Ohmigod, my first full pee tube EVAR!



I need to inflict horrible bodily harm and mutilations done to myself more often, yo.

Rufus the Pubah 56,794 18
08/18/2003 12:22 PM

I sent my freshly removed (rotting flesh still attached) teeth to school with my kids for Show-and-Tell.



A big hit, I'm told.

Trae 156,785 17
08/18/2003 12:39 PM

The one time I took demerol, I thought things were going fine. No pain, I was a bit drunk feeling, but that's all.



Then, about a day later I went to itch my nose. I COULDN'T FEEL MY FACE!!!



I was taken off that right away and put on Vicoden. Sweet, sweet vicoden.

Rufus the Pubah 56,794 18
08/18/2003 12:41 PM

-Drugs are funny-

D.B. Cooper 1,800 12
08/18/2003 12:52 PM

I don't remember anything from the time the doctor came into the room until the next day. I figure they misjudged my weight and overloaded me with the sleepy time fun juice. My darling wife related the story of the rest of the afternoon to me. Apparently the nurse was having trouble waking me to get me out of the chair so she got a little more aggressive than normal with me. Now I have always woken up grumpy and grabbed the woman by her shirt and screamed a bloody froth spewing threat in her face. Eventually they got me to a chair in the waiting room. While my wife was settling the paperwork I hugged all over an old guy telling him that I loved him and then did an Elvis splitting my lip on the floor. As the nurse and wife got me to the car I threw a 10-minute tirade about how I was going to drive and neither of those Poe girls were going to stop me. On the long drive home I asked my wife to stop and get me a cheeseburger.

D.B. Cooper 1,800 12
08/18/2003 12:52 PM

I had not yet removed the packing gauze and sort of remember the cheeseburger as being the toughest and chewiest I had ever eaten. F.Y.I. if you eat the gauze you'll bleed like crazy and you won't poop for days. My wife ordered me to stay in the car while she went into CVS to fill the painkiller script and of course I didn't. While she was in the back of the store at the pharmacy counter I was at the front of the store laughing, bleeding, waving my gun finger around and telling the check out woman that it was a stick-up. Thank god the manager of the store is also my cousin, she smoothed everything over with the employees and helped my wife get me back into the car. I woke up the next day with both of my hands tied to the bed. Seems the wife was exhausted and needed to make sure I didn't get into any more trouble.

HemLloyd 48,662 14
08/18/2003 12:54 PM

You should have punched the nurse, like you did the raccoon.



Your hands were tied to the bed? Was your penis raw?

D.B. Cooper 1,800 12
08/18/2003 12:58 PM

My pener was inverted, drugs are bad.

Virnomine 79,386 11
08/18/2003 02:22 PM

should have thrown a rock at them like you did with that frenchie truck driver.

PuggyD 48,304 12
08/18/2003 02:36 PM

Given the success of my wisdom tooth post, the voting lines are now open for surgical procedure I should undergo and write aboot next.



I vote for liopsuction because I'm so vain I probably think this thread is about me.

Rufus the Pubah 56,794 18
08/18/2003 03:25 PM

In keeping with Gab tradition, I vote you undergo a sex change operation.



Or Boob implant

Mr.Glass 25,340 11
08/18/2003 03:27 PM

I vote you invent your own sex. I think it's about time we, as a species, moved on.

Virnomine 79,386 11
08/18/2003 03:53 PM

lobotomy, then let us know if pubah or clovis is funny in that condition.

DeezNutz 808 0
03/31/2004 01:33 PM

So yesterday I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. It was my first time ever being put under any kind o fnasthetic or having any kind of surgery.



So instantly upon waking I asked them when they were going to start. When they said they were done, I was very adamant that nothing had happened.



Then I sat up and was going to stand but they stopped me and said I wasn't ready yet. I got very annoyed and tried to convince them that I was fine, I only seemed weird cuz the gauze in my mouth made it hard for me to understand.



Then the nurse said she would walk me to the van. This made me even more annoyed, and I proceeded to basically run, dragging her along, all the while screaming "I can do it!"



Then when I got in the van I demanded butterscotch pudding and passed out.



OK, I read this three times to try to find something funny about this story...nothing...full piss...am I missing something here!

PuggyD 48,304 12
03/31/2004 01:35 PM

Tact, friends, purpose, and a dick.

S H P 181,718 70
03/31/2004 01:35 PM

am I missing something here



I think you have have had your funny bone removed when the doctor tried to circumsize you.

S H P 181,718 70
03/31/2004 01:36 PM

am I missing something here



I think you may have had your funny bone removed when the doctor tried to circumsize you.

Chili McChillChill 8,880 12
03/31/2004 01:39 PM

I don't blame you for posting twice, SHP. Nutz misses a lot.

S H P 181,718 70
03/31/2004 01:55 PM

And what he misses most is probably his nutz.