Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 11:12 AM

You're weird. But I like you. I take my showers at the gym and I'm usually in a hurry so no masturabatory shananigans go on in my showers.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
09/03/2003 11:23 AM

I usually try to bathe

Aimless 54,807 10
09/03/2003 11:23 AM

I take quick showers but I ALWAYS do everything in the same order:

Brush teeth, wash hair, condition hair, wash body, wash face, weed the garden & mow the lawn.



CLEAN!

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 11:24 AM

Aimless! We shower the same way!

PuggyD 48,304 12
09/03/2003 11:47 AM

Don't talk to me about showers.

NavyBoy 19,912 12
09/03/2003 11:48 AM

Aimless! We shower the same way!



You two should get together... with a webcam... audio enabled...

Aimless 54,807 10
09/03/2003 11:50 AM

It would never work. She would always be in the water and I would be all shivering and cold. Then a fight would ensue and we would be all slippery and wet and well you can imagin...

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 12:26 PM

C'mon, be truthfull here, when do you blow your nose in shower? When do you wash your crack?

ElChingon 56 9
09/03/2003 12:30 PM

um...crack washing...sometimes...if i feel it is emitting a horrible stench for no reason...

EatmorChickens 286,326 61
09/03/2003 12:43 PM

1. Crack washed- nothing like a squeaky clean bum to start off the shower experience

2. Personals. This may take a while.

3. Hair. Quick once over. Nothing like a short haircut.

4. Batter up the bod, rinse, and towel off.

5. Sing. Throughout. Usually old 80's tunes. Meatloaf preferred.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 12:45 PM

You didn't sing in my shower. I'm actually impressed that you fit in my shower.

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 12:45 PM

I wash the crack first too.

Then I wash hands VERY WELL.

Aimless 54,807 10
09/03/2003 12:46 PM

So you lick them clean?

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 12:47 PM

Well, that depends on what it will get me.

EatmorChickens 286,326 61
09/03/2003 12:52 PM

Didn't you have the tub/shower deal? I forget. All I remember is butternuts in the toilet for my morning pee.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 12:53 PM

Yeah I had the tub/shower thing but it was small (old house). Yeah, I figured everyone needed to stare at Nutbutter with their penis in their hand.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
09/03/2003 12:53 PM

I shower upside down so I can clean the ol DMZ properly.

EatmorChickens 286,326 61
09/03/2003 12:55 PM

clickies for dmz, heh

Chili 8,880 12
09/03/2003 01:13 PM

I take long, long showers. Showering is my wake-up time. I usually end up leaning, catatonic, against the wall or sitting on the floor blanking out. I often end up shampooing more than once, because I will be ready to get out and I won't be able to remember whether or not I have done it yet.

Declan McManus 131,869 36
09/03/2003 01:14 PM

Depends on time. If it's daytime, 5 minutes tops, including shampoo.



If it's evening alone, 15 minutes, with the nice shower gel or soap, big heavy towels still warm from the dryer, and Peter Gabriel's So in the cd player.



Evening with a friend? Same as evening alone, but with candles and till the hot water runs out.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
09/03/2003 01:15 PM

I've been to many cities in the states and I can honestly say that the general attitude is:



Shower ?!! We don't need no stinkin showers !!!!

PooFooMooShoo 1,445 10
09/03/2003 01:22 PM

I like to take a really really hot shower and I start with my hair first and then pile it up on my head and go down from there all the way to my toes...then I wash my face and turn on the cold water.. then step out. and air dray for 5 minutes or so... I stand around nekkid hehe oh and while this is going on I have two kids waiting at the door crying to take a shower too

Chili 8,880 12
09/03/2003 01:38 PM

Wait a second, you shower Naked? How erotic!

The Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
09/03/2003 01:41 PM

Sometimes when I'm in the shower and I'm washing my special place, I can't stop washing for, like, a half hour, and by then I made a whole new mess.

ElChingon 56 9
09/03/2003 03:11 PM

i usually create that kinda mess out side of the shower...it goes a lot faster. laminating pictures or whatever you use is a little too much effort for me too. then i don't have to clean myself twice. does anyone else itch a lot there though? Shakespeare I HATE IT! gotta always clean, and yes i really mean with soap, that area.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 03:17 PM

does anyone else itch a lot there though





That costs extra.

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
09/03/2003 03:20 PM

Starts out with a lot of swearing because of the boy(Wantin) leaving his toys in the tub and I step on them. Hair washed then cream rince soaks in while I scrub the bod. Full body rinse and more swearing because of the toys I tossed out onto the floor are under my feet again. Dry off, brush teeth, Brush, gel, mousse, hair then spray. Deodorant, a sprits of Devon (musk) then into the bed room to flash the ol' lady.

ElChingon 56 9
09/03/2003 03:21 PM

how bout 20 cents?

Statickitten. Look! I'm a spork! 24,428 11
09/03/2003 03:39 PM

Statickitten's Happy Fun Shower Time:

1. Get Nekkid!

2. Check out my sexy bod in the wrap-around mirrors. oh yeah!

3. Give self nod and a wink cuz I know I look GOOD.

4. Turn up the Britney Spears, jump in the shower and lather up!

5. Dance and sing

6. Try and do a tricky Britney/Justin jump n'turn

7. Slip

8. Fall

9. Bruise hip on water fixtures

10. Crawl out of tub

11. Lie on bathroom floor crying because I'm a 28 year old who listens to Britney Spears.

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
09/03/2003 03:42 PM

I don't listen to Brittney Spears. I just like to watch.

ElChingon 56 9
09/03/2003 03:44 PM

all this talk of pork pulling! THINK OF THE KITTINS!

Whistler 185,889 44
09/03/2003 03:57 PM

My only hard and fast shower rules are that the crack must be washed first, and thoroughly. I'm quite hairy back there. My junk gets washed second, and my feets get washed third. Also, my face must be washed before my hair is washed and conditioned. Occasionally I brush my teeth in the shower, and when I do, that takes over the opening spot.

Declan McManus 131,869 36
09/03/2003 04:20 PM

I'm quite hairy back there



Another legacy from Our Dad.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
09/03/2003 04:22 PM

you wash your face after you've used the same things for your ass, junk, and hairy back? At what point during your shower do you get clean ?

Trixxie 65,021 15
09/03/2003 04:22 PM

I bath in the blood of teenage male virgins.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 04:34 PM

You too??

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
09/03/2003 04:34 PM

funny, I never see you there.

Trixxie 65,021 15
09/03/2003 04:35 PM

I like to do the baths durring the slow periods.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
09/03/2003 04:36 PM

male virgins don't get periods.





Busted !!

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 04:54 PM

Wow, your delicioulsy Frosted up, aren't you?

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
09/03/2003 05:40 PM

1. Neck, ears, shoulders, arms.

2. Armpits, chest, belly button sides and back.

3. Hips, legs, hoo-hah and pooper.

4. Feet and hands.

5. Hair

Deadlymoss 4,125 10
09/03/2003 05:41 PM

You forgot "6. profit!"

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 05:42 PM

You cover up by saying hoo-ha, but you'll plainly say EARS in fron of the children?



Sicko!

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
09/03/2003 05:43 PM

The children didn't hear me. Charlie is babysitting this evening. Charlie Manson that is.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 05:45 PM

1. Neck, ears, shoulders, arms.

2. Armpits, chest, belly button sides and back.

3. Hips, legs, hoo-hah and pooper.

4. Feet and hands.

5. Hair



You do realize that all your nasty dirty hair rinse off is going all over your clean body, right?

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 05:45 PM

Oh, that reminds me of something.....



I bought a bible study for my wife and I. "The moms-in-law asked who wrote it. I hope it isn't a secular author." She's a bit pious at times.



I said, looking at the book, "Uh, it says, Charles Manson, heard of him?

Deadlymoss 4,125 10
09/03/2003 05:48 PM

Yes. You are the only person in the world who pees in the shower.



Stay away from me sicko.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
09/03/2003 05:48 PM

Trae:

Yes. I do that so I'll have the scent o' Freeze Coffee all over my clean skin.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 05:49 PM

Ohhhhh...



Now I feel like an idiot.



*feels self*





Yep, 100% idiot.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
09/03/2003 05:49 PM

The person who decided that the toilet should be in the bathroom close to the shower probably did so in order to allow people to empty their bladder before stepping in to get clean.



PEE IN THE POTTY!!

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 05:51 PM

Really, my toddler would be in time out if she peed in the tub.

Declan McManus 131,869 36
09/03/2003 05:56 PM

Have ye never heard of golden showers?



och!





Declan und postbear

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 05:58 PM

The only kind of golden shower I'm interested in is if it's ice cold beer being poured on me on a hot summer day....

Deadlymoss 4,125 10
09/03/2003 05:59 PM

Golden showers are the best!



worksafe

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/03/2003 06:01 PM

Golden showers work safe? I don't trust that.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
09/03/2003 06:01 PM

I think I saw that in the book of "100 worst named products"

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 07:17 PM

Ass first

Hair second (gets rid of anything left in the fingernails)

General lather

Check under the hood and any other 'special attention' necessary

Arm pits

Rinse

Wash face

Somewhere in there I pee. Just cause it feels good not to have to aim.

The Tlaxidermist 1,423 10
09/03/2003 07:52 PM

well i have a soap fetish so...

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 07:55 PM

...you have an extremely clean sphincter.

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
09/03/2003 07:56 PM

Is that the one where you like to torment yourself and build up the excitement and not use it for three months straight?

Statickitten. Look! I'm a spork! 24,428 11
09/03/2003 07:59 PM

Is that the one where you like to torment yourself and build up the excitement and not use it for three months straight?



(-excitement)+exrcriment=teh funneh

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
09/03/2003 08:01 PM

Your lack of common sense=teh funny

Statickitten. Look! I'm a spork! 24,428 11
09/03/2003 08:03 PM

Kiss my ass.

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
09/03/2003 08:37 PM

Not unless you waShakespeare first....

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 08:41 PM

...he's not a dirty ass kisser





just and ass kisser

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
09/03/2003 08:42 PM

Shut up Pubah before I turn to quick and snap your head off

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 08:44 PM

Are you implying my 'head' is up your ass?



Scary thought

Swizzle 3,957 10
09/03/2003 09:15 PM

I wash top to bottom

1. hair

2. face

3. front of torso

4. back

5. girly bits

6. ass

7. legs

8. feet

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 09:17 PM

Do you use a towel or hands on your girly bits?

Mr.Glass 25,340 11
09/03/2003 09:19 PM

Well, judging by the absorbancy of the average human hand...

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 09:19 PM

A hand, duh. I'm not scared of my bits.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 09:20 PM

Oh??



You weren't talking to me?



Heh, heh.. nevermind then.

Mr.Glass 25,340 11
09/03/2003 09:21 PM

You are the living end!

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 09:22 PM

END!!

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 09:23 PM

Trae,

I preferr a hand on my naughty bits too. Absorbancy has nothing to do with it.

I just wanted to know what others thought.

uh (and you know this is coming)Trae+shower+bare hands+girly bits=sticky keyboard and eyes rolling in Pubah's head.

Mr.Glass 25,340 11
09/03/2003 09:23 PM

<action>starts banging his head against a coffee table repeatedly</action>



END! END!!! EndEND! EEeeeeeeeND!!!

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 09:27 PM

Mr. Glass??

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 09:27 PM

Cute

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/03/2003 09:28 PM

A better representation?

Mr.Glass 25,340 11
09/03/2003 09:29 PM

<action>looks forlornly into a mirror</action>

She's got you pegged Glas... she's got you pegged.

Swizzle 3,957 10
09/03/2003 09:42 PM

Always use the hand on my girly bits. It's...umm...yeah..cleaner that way.

Pubah, Poster of the Stupid 56,794 18
09/03/2003 10:42 PM

They're your bits

You can clean them as thouroughly and vigorously as you wish.





where's my shower cam

Mookie on Wheels 17,582 13
09/03/2003 10:47 PM

I don't wash except when the whores complain about the riccotta cheese aftertaste.

Bobabouie 8 9
09/04/2003 12:14 AM

I whip out my penis and lather it up, then rinse and dry

Beeblebr0x 31,599 13
09/04/2003 03:16 AM

I've got a friend at the car wash who lets me walk through it naked.



Saves me lots of time, and leaves me smelling new-car fresh.

Lady Penelope 86,684 14
09/04/2003 03:53 AM

I scrub the shower tiles while I'm waiting for the conditioner to work.

Mythology: Your trusted No Name Brand 4,891 11
09/04/2003 04:07 AM

What bothers me the most is how friendly the shower liner becomes to you.



Then you get thinking about how it has rubbed up against your roommates, etc.



Cheating Vynil !!!! Industrial magnets are just for erasing hard drives anymore !!!

Trixxie 65,021 15
09/04/2003 09:40 AM

I thought about this thread in Mah Ba'th this morning as I prepared for work. I am too sleepy in the morning to shower. I draw a tub of water while "she takes care of that other thing she does" by the time she's finished my Ba'th is ready. somtimes I put body wash in the water sometimes I don't today I didn't. I splash water on my face, then lie down in the tub to get my hair wet, then I squeeze sum shampoo in my hand and wash my face and hair with it. After I have a good lather going, I use the excess to pre-wash my stinky parts(feet, underarms, and both special places). I good trick I learnt from an X, if you have a coke sore in your nostrail(s) take the hot soapy water in your hand and inhale it in your nose, swiShakespeare around and snot it out, makes the sore heal quicker. Then I wash the rest of me with body wash, lie down again, put some soap on my beard, then sometimes some shave cream sometimes just soap, shave ith the tub. Then I let the water out and rinse the tub and me with the shower head.

DJ Funk Master Stoat 9,077 10
09/04/2003 09:45 AM

Wait, you guys shower?



Losers...

Deadlymoss 4,125 10
09/04/2003 10:30 AM

This morning I sang



Show-er Dra-in

My God how the water rolls in ROLLS IN

Show-er Dra-in

My God how the water rolls in...

Kentucky Fried Chickens 286,326 61
09/04/2003 10:39 AM

Who uses a wash rag and who just uses hands and soap?

ringworm 68,315 13
09/04/2003 01:51 PM

hands and soap

Adrian, Trae's love clown. 13,341 13
09/04/2003 02:58 PM

hair

face

upper body

unit

unit

unit

unit

unit

ass

legs

feet

unit

Aimless 54,807 10
09/04/2003 03:04 PM

Wash rag? *scoff* I use the hands buff young studs.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/04/2003 03:07 PM

Hand/fingers most of the time

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/04/2003 05:29 PM

Oh I forgot to mention that I was really tempted to pee in the shower this morning but I just couldn't do it. I figure it's all going to the same place anyway, so why not?

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/04/2003 05:32 PM

Becouse pee might not drain as quickly as you hope, that's why not.



It could billow upstream in the water, and be on you after you leave the shower.



eeewwwww



Maybe.

Trae: DDR virgin 156,785 17
09/04/2003 05:36 PM

Good point... I will save this adventure until later in life, when the Depends undergarment slips off by accident.



Then, and only then, will I know.

Statickitten. Look! I'm a spork! 24,428 11
09/04/2003 05:55 PM

Ok, I'll answer that burning question...



I pee in the shower.

Kentucky Fried Chickens 286,326 61
09/04/2003 05:57 PM

ditto

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
09/04/2003 06:06 PM

If it burns, see a doctor.



A doctor of PISS.

Statickitten. Look! I'm a spork! 24,428 11
09/04/2003 06:08 PM

We should pee in the shower together chickens!

Jax In The Tesseract 8 12
06/02/2010 07:10 AM

1) Enter Shower

2) Apply shampoo

3) Lather

4) Rinse

5) Repeat as necessary

6) Apply Conditioner

7) Wait

8) Rinse

9) Lather IN THIS ORDER:

a) Face

b) body

c) feet

d) ass

10) Repeats as necessary...

11) Throw out wash rag.