Frogpop in a box 173,148 25
10/01/2003 07:51 AM

How about an "I'm Fat" t-shirt for him to wear?

chimichanga 331 9
10/01/2003 07:52 AM

laminated porn, its the gift that keeps on giving, and it wipes clean

Teh Lovely Daggy 86,684 14
10/01/2003 07:54 AM

I'm fat t shirt:



He'd open it and say... 'I think this is yours dear.'





Laminated porn:



Already got that, and it doesn't always wipe clean.

Chuck P. Barris 19,242 12
10/01/2003 07:55 AM

Give him what he really wants. A divorce.

Gonzo NLO 20,522 17
10/01/2003 07:58 AM

Give him a dolphin, a tube of toothpaste, and a cricket bat. Then stare at him impatiently and say "Well...!"



Or, just give him back a piece of his immortal soul. Not enough to live on. Just enough to keep him coming back.

jellytot 3,504 11
10/01/2003 08:48 AM

Give him another kid, a black one this time.

Virnomine 79,386 11
10/01/2003 09:17 AM

how about a crematory urn and a book of matches?

The Porn Fairy 1,722 11
10/01/2003 09:27 AM

give him herpes... the gift that keeps on giving.

Virnomine 79,386 11
10/01/2003 09:33 AM

Silly, she doesn't regift...he needs something new, like syphilis.

PuggyD 48,304 12
10/01/2003 09:35 AM

What with the disproportionate pee tube on this thread? It isn't the first of the month...yet.



I was expecting some funny.



Not that I've done anything to contribute.



...and so the cycle is complete.

Virnomine 79,386 11
10/01/2003 09:39 AM

Isn't the first of the month? Funny, I thought it was Oct 1, how much more first can you get?

PuggyD 48,304 12
10/01/2003 09:41 AM

Dammit, my watch told me it was the 31st. I finally find the flaw to my little date dial.



If only someone would write a convenient rhyme that would remind that that September hath 30 days...

Excelibus 215 9
10/01/2003 10:11 AM

You could get him one of these

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 10:12 AM

BAGPIPES!

jellytot 3,504 11
10/01/2003 10:19 AM

Excelibus - where does the chromed bit go?

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 10:23 AM

Get him a simbian.

Teh Lovely Daggy 86,684 14
10/01/2003 10:27 AM

Isn't 11 yearShakespeareman?

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
10/01/2003 10:27 AM

Give him a Picture of JP and tell him she's your lover......

Teh Pr0n Fairy 1,722 11
10/01/2003 10:29 AM

Give him a present. The give him head. No matter what the present was, he'll like it.

Teh Lovely Daggy 86,684 14
10/01/2003 10:29 AM

How about a picture of you as my lover......... he'd laugh his Frost-ing head off, thereby suffocating.

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
10/01/2003 10:32 AM

And once again my contributions to your existence will go unnoticed

Tasty, Yummy Chili 8,880 12
10/01/2003 10:33 AM

My wife and I celebrated our anniversary a few weeks ago, and I got her a day at a spa with a massage, facial, hair treatment - the whole works. She really liked it.



So for your husband, I think a few teenage asian whores should do the trick.

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
10/01/2003 10:35 AM

<action>waves both hands frantically</action>



OOH OHH Pick me!! Pick Me!!!!

Teh Lovely Daggy 86,684 14
10/01/2003 10:35 AM

Eric, you're an asian whore......... you up for that?

Tasty, Yummy Chili 8,880 12
10/01/2003 10:38 AM

That's a pretty damn good simu-post.

Teh Lovely Daggy 86,684 14
10/01/2003 10:39 AM

Ahhh! He knows I love him.... the big gook!

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 10:40 AM

Very funny eric.

Trae - Now with nuts! 156,785 17
10/01/2003 10:41 AM

Eric give Daggy's husband happy finish!!

Teh Lovely Daggy 86,684 14
10/01/2003 10:42 AM

rong time!

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
10/01/2003 10:43 AM

Let me see if I can find some old guitar strings and my shovel and I will be on the first plane to Africa.......uh I mean Australia

Teh Lovely Daggy 86,684 14
10/01/2003 10:44 AM

Oh you know I leally rove you!

butternuts 14,362 10
10/01/2003 10:52 AM

I'll be married six years on Saturday and I have no idea what to get her.

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
10/01/2003 11:42 AM

A three-way.

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
10/01/2003 11:43 AM

But, really congrats.



Spend the weekend away. Go to a quiet place away from the city.

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 11:45 AM

I'll be married six years on Saturday and I have no idea what to get her.



How about some new school clothes for your seven year old?

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 11:46 AM

Knowing that that joke doesn't carry the punch it once did, seriously, how about some hippy bluegrass cd's so she can practice contra dancing at the house?

Virnomine 79,386 11
10/01/2003 11:51 AM

Contra? Be careful, Regan will arm them and deny it and Oliver North will take the heat for it during boring hearings...

Trae - Now with nuts! 156,785 17
10/01/2003 11:51 AM

How about a nice protest at the state capital followed by a bonfire and naked wicca dancing in the moonlight?

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen 4,888 13
10/01/2003 11:55 AM

Get any dude a copy of Contra for the NES, and he will love ya'!

butternuts 14,362 10
10/01/2003 12:07 PM

Knowing that that joke doesn't carry the punch it once did, seriously, how about some hippy bluegrass cd's so she can practice contra dancing at the house?



Because she still has all her teeth and she doesn't roll her own cigarettes.

Trae - Now with nuts! 156,785 17
10/01/2003 12:08 PM

.....yet

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 12:29 PM

Daggy- skydiving

- an xbox

- scuba lessons

- shark repellent

- Crocodile Dundee I, II, and III

- a weekend in a coastal cabin with lots of teh sex, especially something you've never done before

- a weekend in a coastal cabin with your best friend

- And of course, nothing says I love you to your man like Craftsman.

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 12:31 PM

For Gavia

Trae - Now with nuts! 156,785 17
10/01/2003 12:45 PM

Back in the day when I was married, I gave my hubby flying lessons. He loved them.





Wouldn't you know the damn plane landed safely??

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
10/01/2003 12:58 PM

Trae: You have to give the flying instructor a "special favor" and $100 before he'll have one of those "accidents."

Trae - Now with nuts! 156,785 17
10/01/2003 01:00 PM

I know.



I felt so.................used.

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 03:05 PM

Then how about an apropriate nightshirt, or maybe a Bodhran, or if neither of those grab her, then a celtic tapestry?

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 03:29 PM

I'm really good at this gift thing.

Hammerhead, Now In Feelaround! 59,399 14
10/01/2003 04:02 PM

damn you chickens, you Froster, I didn't hover before I clicked, I trusted you...good job...

Virnomine 79,386 11
10/01/2003 04:03 PM

those silly celts...they'll sew anything onto a cloth.

Who's yur Chickens? 286,326 61
10/01/2003 04:04 PM

HA!









I had to wait 30 minutes for a victim. It's all in ths setup.

Hammerhead, Now In Feelaround! 59,399 14
10/01/2003 04:11 PM

<action>golf clap</action>

Pubah 56,794 18
10/01/2003 08:04 PM

How bout a trip to Gablanta so we can tell him what a selfish, overbearing pig he is for not worshiping the ground Teh Lovely Daggy walks on.

Give his fat ass that!

AmyPoo has a tan! 2,710 12
10/02/2003 12:48 AM

Get any dude a copy of Contra for the NES, and he will love ya'!



dude, contra for NES rocks. i was at a friend's house a few months ago and he had it there. played it for hours. stoned. yah.

Princess Waffle of Kittens 24,428 11
10/02/2003 12:54 AM

AmyPoo! I've missed you!

Mythical Wench 35,066 15
10/02/2003 03:43 AM

Get him some drone corks.



I didn't click the celtic tapestry, the purple link made me wonder.

Hammerhead, Now In Feelaround! 59,399 14
10/02/2003 03:47 AM

yeah, well when you clear out your visited pages and online content every couple of days, I disapears if you haven't clicked it...don't remind me...

Hammerhead, Now In Feelaround! 59,399 14
10/02/2003 03:48 AM

Get him some anal beads, use them once, pull them out like you're trying to start a stubborn lawn mower...

Frogpop in a box 173,148 25
10/02/2003 04:50 AM

It's like those other dumb "trust games" they make you play on marriage retreats, except way funnier.

Mad Caddie 81 9
10/02/2003 01:36 PM

Get him a strap-on. When he asks what he's supposed to do with it tell him you'll show him.