Chance 171,220 14
10/07/2003 09:17 AM

Reese Witherspoon?

The lovely Daggy 86,640 14
10/07/2003 09:18 AM

No. With a KNIFE!





















HA!

butternuts 14,362 10
10/07/2003 10:07 AM

Heh.

Tasty, Yummy Chili 8,880 12
10/07/2003 10:36 AM

<action> sings </action>



Daggy killed ga-ab

Daggy killed ga-ab

MongoLloyd 48,662 13
10/07/2003 10:57 AM

I almost choked on a bagel.

Who's yur Chickens? 282,028 58
10/07/2003 10:57 AM

Well I ran that one through the office. Good one.

Trae - Now with nuts! 156,771 17
10/07/2003 11:09 AM

I love you Daggy!

Therlin 12,200 12
10/07/2003 11:15 AM

I had to log in just to give Daggy a clickie.



k bye.

MongoLloyd 48,662 13
10/07/2003 11:16 AM

I tried it on Mrs. Lloyd. I called her hotel room (she's in Regina today....heh! Regina) and asked if she'd heard about it.

She's not so good with celeb names, so she said "REESE SILVERSPOON WAS STABBED?!"

AmyPoo has a tan! 2,710 12
10/07/2003 11:47 AM

i might have laughed more if reese witherspoon wasn't pregnant.

Pubah 54,897 17
10/07/2003 12:29 PM

Did you set us up Daggy, or is Ms Witherspoon bleeding?



Either way, it's funny as hell.

Pubah 54,897 17
10/07/2003 01:43 PM

Gotta bounce.

See ya in the Funny Papers

Hammerhead, Now In Feelaround! 59,398 14
10/07/2003 03:37 PM

That was funny. That is all...

PooFooMooShoo 1,445 10
10/07/2003 03:56 PM

Witherspoon

Danny_Boy 2,210 10
10/07/2003 04:18 PM

I keep re-reading this thread, and laughing so hard after I read, "No, with a knife!"







Bloody brilliant, I say.

El Stoaty 9,077 10
10/07/2003 05:27 PM

Daggy you vixen of comedy gold - lets make with teh dirty love!

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,287 14
10/07/2003 05:33 PM

That was so awesome.

Fluro 14,139 11
09/02/2004 01:58 AM

bump

Neep, Janeway's personal foot masseuse. 35,005 15
09/02/2004 02:46 AM

Daggy. I want to have your babies.

Oliver Chest 203,450 12
09/02/2004 02:49 AM

Best short thread evar!

Ms. Trixxie (Moma's little Darling) LeMay 65,014 14
09/02/2004 09:31 AM

I just sent this out as an office email.

Neep: wants to lick Chris Garrett's knees. 35,005 15
07/14/2005 07:46 AM

Hehe.

Neep: wants to lick Chris Garrett's knees. 35,005 15
07/14/2005 07:46 AM

I'm sorry.

Frogpop 173,113 25
07/14/2005 07:50 AM

oh you.. s'ok.. I realized what it was after I clicked the title and I chuckled.

Neep: wants to lick Chris Garrett's knees. 35,005 15
07/14/2005 07:57 AM

I would never get caught bumping funny Daggy threads to get her more clickies would I?

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,085 13
07/14/2005 09:04 AM

Why? Did you have a funny post in here?



BURRRRRRNN!!!

Neep: wants to lick Chris Garrett's knees. 35,005 15
07/14/2005 09:42 AM

No, Daggy did. Silly.

Return of the Son of The Rockin' Donkey 77,085 13
07/14/2005 09:45 AM

Damn, I read that wrong.

Lucky Charms 171,220 14
07/14/2005 11:27 AM

<action> Runs away crying</action>

Niles 3,169 8
07/14/2005 11:30 AM

Becuase you think Reese really got stabbed?



Because you wanted to make Daggy's babies?



Just because?



Girls are so weird.

Lucky Charms 171,220 14
07/14/2005 11:33 AM

Niles please mouse over my name then guess again. Thankyousomuch.

Big Irish Guy 203,777 21
07/14/2005 11:35 AM

So much for running away. Did you drop a Twinkie and come back for it?

Niles 3,169 8
07/14/2005 11:36 AM

I'll keep guessin' if you want.



Because you're afraid you might be the last chance?



Becuase chances are cause I wear a silly grin the moment you come into view, chances are you think that I'm in love with you?



Because nobody likes to take to many chances?

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 174,473 52
07/14/2005 11:36 AM

Niles: because she took part in setting up the joke two years ago and never got her due clickies for it. We should have "assist clickies".

Niles 3,169 8
07/14/2005 11:37 AM

<action>scrolls back to the top of the thread</action>





Oohhhhhhhhhh.







Yeah. Now it makes sense. Girls are still weird, though.

Karen Walker 86,640 14
07/14/2005 11:46 AM

I don't remember doing this.

Frogpop 173,113 25
07/14/2005 12:03 PM

That's cause I was drunk.

Professor Nutbutter 181,220 34
12/02/2008 03:39 PM

I'm bumping this thread for two reasons:

1) Because it's funny as Shakespeare

2) Because I think it's time we all click Chance's post so she gets a million clickies.

Don't let me down, folks.

Th Real Gonzo 118 6
12/02/2008 03:45 PM

Wow... I remember using that one at work for weeks after this thread was posted....

Even today everyone falls for it... as long as you get the "it's on the tip of my tongue" expression down.

I always include the "HA!", too, but for some reason, I always sound like Alf when I do it.

Chance under the mistletoe 171,220 14
12/02/2008 08:48 PM

Thank you Nutters, tonight you get to wear the naughty catholic school girl outfit and I will be the angry sexually fustrated nun whom disiplines you over and over and over again.

Millie 116,854 28
12/02/2008 08:54 PM

This irritating guy I used to work with tried this joke on me several times, but it never worked, thanks to this thread!



God, I hope he doesn't post here.  It's not you, Gonzo, is it?

Jesus Hussein Christ 183,262 42
12/02/2008 08:57 PM

I still pull this chestnut out every now and then, when I think of Ms. Witherspoon.

And that's why the Dagster is my favorite antipodean dipsomaniac.

Jesus Hussein Christ 183,262 42
12/02/2008 09:00 PM

I see PooFooMooShoo up there - am I correct in remembering that she was the mother of HighSoci's kidnapping victim?

Chance under the mistletoe 171,220 14
12/02/2008 09:16 PM

Yep, thats the lucky gal.

Frogpop 173,113 25
12/03/2008 12:36 AM

I hear she <3'd Lloyd.

Chrismakkuh Lobster 17,427 30
12/03/2008 11:38 AM

I heard she did more than less-than-three Lloyd, Señor Frog.

Th Real Gonzo 118 6
12/03/2008 04:01 PM

An irritating guy, huh?  Well, then... couldn't have been me.  Not a chance.  I'm not the slightest bit irritating.  Nope.   Not irritating at all.  I mean, when I'm at work, nobody gets irritated by me.  If fact, my general demeanor is SO ingratiating that people often can only peel themselves away after they've checked their watches and noticed that that they're late for a meeting.  Even at 5:00! 

It's amazing how truly intersting I can make the most mundane details of my daily life sound, as I hold court, expounding upon my cats' behavior, or the latest piece of junk-mail that incorrectly assumed my gender for some reason.

Even when people are forced to walk away, I can seem them animatedly discussing what I can only assume is a continuation of my topic, often gesticulating wildly.

And you know how everybody loves a prankster, right?  Well, there's no end to my shenanigans.  Whether it's calling my cube neighbor once every 5 minutes and then hanging up, or poking dribble-holes in the styrofoam coffee cups, and good naturedly watching everyone ruin their clothing, everyone knows that I'm just a gas.

But irritating?  No way, Jose!  I'm just an awesome guy!

Gonzo 20,504 16
12/04/2008 01:13 AM

Awwww... crap.

I just found my old password.

Now I have to start re-re-building my mundane status from non-existant all over again.

Redwing 3,656 30
09/08/2011 12:17 AM

No! With a car!

Thud 66,695 17
09/08/2011 12:24 AM

Sadly, the "actress" did not croak thus insuring we will still be emotionally damaged by her continued movie career.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
09/08/2011 01:17 AM

I was going to post a riff on Greg Giraldo's line during Comedy Central's roast of William Tiberius Shatner with Nichelle Nichols, Farrah Fawcett and Betty White on the dais: "I'll take 'Women I would masturbate to 30 years ago' for $1000, Alex" asking for two other actresses I would have masturbated to 5 years ago.

But who am I kidding? Given the opportunity, I would dig up Reese Witherspoon's dead body and have sex with it right there in the cemetery. Which I hope she accepts as a compliment.

Dogs Akimbo 205,285 31
09/08/2011 01:19 AM

What I meant to say was, Just exactly how tall is Chance?

I am The Lobster. 17,427 30
09/08/2011 10:41 PM

I tried to tell this joke a few weeks ago, and nobody got it.

That's the last time I talk to ladybugs.