Dear Mongo Lloyd,



thank for your mail.

i will expecting your mail.

so your trying to let me know that till you uncle or who die before we will transact this business?



it ok.but a mirage,

bye till i hear from you,



choki taylor.

Dear Choki,



Yes, you are right that I will have to wait until Uncle Otto dies before we can complete the transaction.



On the other hand, we could complete it sooner, but in that case, I would not be able to pay the $65,000. Let me know whether you would prefer to complete the transaction now without me paying for the bill, or wait and I will pay the $65,000 us dollars. It is up to you.



Could you also explain to me what you mean by "it ok.but a mirage"? I'm not sure what this means. I'm not very smart sometimes, so please forgive me.



Even though we have to wait for Uncle Otto to die before completing the transaction, I think it is important for us to keep in touch, as such an important transaction shouldn't be taken lightly.



You didn't answer my question about whether you would send me a picture of your cousin so that I will know what she looks like before I meet her in London. Is she pretty? Is she married?



I will be awaiting your response.



Lots of love,

Mongo Lloyd

Dear mongo,



i received your mail and will send the documents to you later.
my cousin is not a female,he is a boy not a girl.




you have to look for some one to involve into this business to
finance the deal,as we can not strat waiting till your uncle die
and the tim is too short for to strat waiting.



you have a percentage you are entitle to and it will be wise you
share it with some one who can finance the business without
waiting for your uncle to die and i pray he will not die,by God's
grace amen.



search for some one that you believe will finance the deal is
very easyer for us that way and you place te person on some
percentage from your own percentage and fly to london with him if
he want to and let it be some one who does not talk much.



waiting to hear from you,



choki taylor.

Dear Choki,



Thank you for your concern for my uncle. Unfortunately, his doctor told me today that he will certainly die within the next two or three weeks. So, I am going to book my trip to London for 5 weeks from today, in order to allow time for the will to be processed and the $65,000 to be transferred to me. So I will be arriving in London on Thursday, November 30 if my calculations are correct. My return flight will be December 6. I will be landing at Heathrow on Air Canada flight AG868, at 21:05 on November 30.



Here is my problem though. As I have to wait for my Uncle to pass away before receiving the money that is coming to me from him, I currently do not have quite enough money for the ticket. I am short $75.44 (Canadian Dollars) at this point. Since we are going to be entering into such a profitable business deal, and since I have agreed to pay the entire $65,000 (US Dollars) bill for you and your family, I am hoping that you will be so kind as to loan me the $75.44.



I know it seems like a lot to ask, but as I said, I will be helping you and your family out a great deal and will be helping to make you a lot of money. If you could please provide the $75.44 (Canadian Dollars), please let me know, so that I can send you my mailing address and you can send me an International Money Order and I can book my ticket. Of course, time is of the essence, so please get back to me quickly!



Please tell your cousin that I am sorry for calling him a girl!



All my love to you and your family

Mongo Lloyd

Dear Mongo Lloyd,



thank you very much for your mail and the way you have decided to
assist me and my family.



infact,i am not in a position to loan you money for the sake of
the un is highly monitoring my family closely to see if any type
of money transaction might take place in any bank or any
financial home.



i will be allowing you to see what you can do to arrange for the
fund as you have to know that the are one of the reasons that
prompt me to contact you and for the fact that the un has closed
my father bank account with the swiss bank they believe he do not
have any more money any where else.



so that is that,the documents will be send to you about the time
your ready to fly to london so that the information will be fresh
in you.so as to follow up everything.



hope you understood my explaination and pity us for the
predicament we are going thorogh. cann't you find some one who
can assist you finance the business?



sincerely,



choki taylor.

Dear Choki,



Of course I understand that your family is watched closely by the UN, and that it will be difficult to get the $75.44 Canadian dollar money order to me, however, I was hoping that maybe one of your friends or maybe employees could do that. I am sure that you have many friends, as you are such a nice man.



I do have some friends that are helping me out with purchasing the ticket to London, but until I am able to receive Uncle Otto's money, I still need the $75.44. If you can think of anybody who can send me that money, I would be more than willing to pay them back upon receipt of Uncle Otto's inheritance.



Please try to find some way for this to happen, as without the $75.44, I will be unable to help your family as quickly as I had hoped.



I hope you know that I am a man of my word and that whoever you find to help finance my ticket to London will be reimbursed quickly.



So please let me know when you have found someone who could send me the $75.44 and I will happily send you my mailing address.



By the way, what religion are you Choki? I am curious because I know that Ramadan is approaching and if you are Muslim, I wanted to wish you a happy Ramadan. If you are Christian, I wanted to wish you a Happy St. Mookie's Day.



So I will be looking forward to hearing from you about who you have found to send me the $75.44 Canadian Dollars, and about what religion you are.



High Fives,



MongoLloyd

dearMongo Lloyd,



i can not find any one to send you the money and i don't have any
one to send you the money please arrange from your side or



bye for now,



choki taylor.

John Hargrave 128,746 73
11/10/2003 02:17 PM

Very funny stuff.



I think you should slowly whittle down the price, telling him that you managed to scrape together some money, until you see the point at which he's finally willing to take the risk and send you the rest of the money. Surely he'd send five or ten bucks (Canadian) for a potential payoff of $60,000?

Fratberry 282,615 53
11/10/2003 02:24 PM

Which is more fun?



1: Yanking your Choki

2: Choking your Yanki

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
11/10/2003 02:42 PM

Tell him your uncle died and you got the money. But unfortunately you lost it to some sort of Nigerian scam artist. . . So you're back to square one.

BobJohnson, President of Tralfamadore 178,045 22
11/10/2003 02:42 PM

If he still responds to your e-mails after that, say "It's been a long time since I robbed a bank (I don't want to do another 20 years. . . Kingston Max. is a tough prison). But I promised you that $65,000."

Fratberry 282,615 53
11/10/2003 02:47 PM

You should have wished him a most enjoyous Shama Lama Ding-Dong.



Hysterical stuff.

Lucifer 5,260 10
11/10/2003 02:48 PM

You should eventually break down and tell him you'll mail him a money order.



Get his address and mail him a box full of bacon....though pig blood would be better...

Fratberry 282,615 53
11/10/2003 02:56 PM

You could mail him a dutch oven.



That'd be cool.

Frogpop, a frosty <i>Cold</i>Beverage 173,148 25
11/10/2003 02:59 PM

Fratberry.. nothing beats choking a Yankee.



Good work Lloyd! I think you should have your uncle die, but then, before you could tranfer the money to Choki you should get take in be a SCAMMER! ..internetscam, florida swapland, snakeoil, whatever.. then write Choki a tearful email about how you've lost it all and won't be able to help him.. the other guy seemed so honest.. he took the time to answer all your silly questions.. his cousin was h.o.t. HOT.. the deal was just too good to pass up.. etc.



Nigerian scam artists won't get mad about a fish that nibbled and nibbled, but failed to bite.. the real son-ofa-bitch is when your chump gets hauled in by the guy on the next boat over.

Frogpop, a frosty <i>Cold</i>Beverage 173,148 25
11/10/2003 03:01 PM

replace "get take in be a"

with "get taken in by a"



and damn you, bob johnson.

Moshroom 4,125 10
11/10/2003 03:01 PM

<action>beams with pride that Lloyd used his suggestion</action>Good stuff. Actually, I recently got an e-mail from one of these scammers yesterday and sent out a joke response as a tribute to Lloyd.

DemoMonkey 166,252 10
11/10/2003 07:19 PM

I love this story.



However I don't think you should get the cops involved since, technically, by making a monetary request yourself (even a small one) you're actually guilty of the crime yourself.



Oops.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
11/10/2003 08:33 PM

No, Demo, he could get the cops involved, by giving all the e-mails showing where Lloyd is making teh funny, he would be off the hook.





Great Job Lloyd. St. Mookie's Day. heh. It's the day of stalking, raping, torturing, stabbing, killing, cutting up into pieces, and burying the body if your favorite hooker.

That username is already in use 19,242 12
11/11/2003 12:02 AM

I got one of those the other day.



I responded with "Do you know what a 'Dirty Sanchez' is?"

Mookie Unrepentant Voyeur 17,582 13
11/11/2003 12:34 AM

Happy St. Mookie's Day, MongoLloyd.

59,399 14
11/11/2003 01:22 AM

flies over your head.

Boots at the Boar 2,305 11
11/11/2003 11:51 AM

<action>groans.</action>This gag has been played out about 8 years ago. But it's just sad that there still are suckers out there falling for this crap.

LlongPants 48,662 14
11/11/2003 01:17 PM

Dear Choki Taylor,



I think you have the wrong Mongo Lloyd.



Sincerely,



Mongo Lloyd (but not that one)

SweetCheeks 4 10
11/11/2003 01:38 PM

Definately tell the coppers.

But string out a little longer and keep trying to talk down to $19.95

Me thinks he may give up on you according to the last (very brief) letter he sent.

Funny stuff though !

That username is already in use 19,242 12
11/15/2003 11:15 AM

I never did find out if they knew what a Dirty Sanchez was.





They probably don't even know what a Cleveland Steamer is either.

Orlphar 226 9
11/18/2003 03:59 PM

Say that something horrible has happened: your uncle has fallen in love with one of the nurses that is taking care of him and that he's taken you out of his will. But assure him that you won't let this prevent the deal from happening, and you'll keep him posted.



Then, in another email, ask him if he knows of any good ways to cover up a crime. Claim that you're just asking out of curiosity. Then say "On an unrelated note, I'm back on the will now. Dear Uncle's nurse mysteriously dissapeared. Authorities are fearing the worst."



After you've done that, THEN do the bit about speeding up the natural process with your uncle.



After that, say that the will isn't being fufilled, pending investigation into the early death of your uncle, and then slowly 'get deeper and deeper into trouble', until this guy becomes afraid of you.

joel 0 9
03/01/2004 03:23 PM

Tell him that the UN has contacted you with questions regarding your email exchange with him...Tell him that he better run because they are on their way to find him. They were able to track him down based on where he was sending the emails from.

Exavior 4 9
04/12/2004 05:42 PM

I say play it out until his cohorts go to meet you at the airport. When he emails back asking why you did not show up, pose as a relative and inform our dear friend that "Mongo Lloyd" passed away last week due to head injuries sustained in a car accident on the way to the airport. And because good-old Mongo was such a trusting soul he left his uncle's inheritance to his business partner, a man by the name of Choki Taylor.



If he wishes to collect the $65,000 inheritance, all he has to do is come to the USA to sing some papers.



And be sure to let him know that both punch and pie will be provided. That gets'em every time.



/Exavior