Wee Bunny O' The Heather 5,695 11
12/14/2003 09:37 AM

Holy Shakespeare... I thought I was dreaming!

117,736 36
12/14/2003 10:04 AM

Saddam Hussein is safe and well. American troops have not captured him.

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
12/14/2003 10:25 AM

Here's a link for those who prefer the Internet over TV.

Phuc 237,915 21
12/14/2003 10:42 AM

Hey, Iraqi people: you needs to gets youse a glass rod and a rubber mallet.

godot (master of the maha) 15,434 11
12/14/2003 11:47 AM

all your saddams are belong to us.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 12:24 PM

Well, we're screwed. After this, there's no way Bush won't be reelected.

Phuc 237,915 21
12/14/2003 12:34 PM

After this, there's no way Bush won't be reelected



Don't be such a negative Nelly! Our troops will keep dying and Dubya will keep a hemmin' and a hawin' and there's only such much more of that that the yokels can take before they elect some slightly-dumber schmuck.

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
12/14/2003 12:39 PM

Unless they found weapons of mass destruction in Saddam's pants, it's still anybody's game.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 12:45 PM

You're right. Silly me. I can't see what he has to say at the press conferance at 11. "That's right, we got Bin Laden. What? We didn't? Damn it, I got excited for nothing. I know pass you to someone who knows what is going on. Bush 2004!"

Phuc 237,915 21
12/14/2003 12:45 PM

Sitting in a "spider hole" for god knows how long, he's probably got more than a mass down his pants. He was prolly surviving off felafel crumbs in his beard, too.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 12:46 PM

Damn. I now pass you to someone who knows.

The Great Vogonsky 20,522 17
12/14/2003 12:56 PM

Silly dictator,



From the look of him, he should've just bleached his beard and posed as Gran'pa Ihlmed at whatever houhe he was at.



Hide in a hole, you're Frosted.



Hide in plain sight, and you're scott-free.



I, too, am worried about wat this means for Bush '04. Call it (typical American) selfishness, but that's my primary worry. I can't take four more years of GW, and this helps him, no question. Unless there are some hidden tapes in a Swiss safe-deposit box that we don't kinow about. But I doubt it.



At any rate... doesn;t he look alot like Castro with that beard?

Anonomousnessless One 138 9
12/14/2003 01:21 PM

Do you people really think that Gore would've done a better job than Bush?

I can see it now..



"They want me impeached? I demand a recount!"

Bob McKenzie 19,242 12
12/14/2003 01:45 PM

Just over half of the American population thought that Gore could have done a better job than Bush.

juggernautbaby13 400 9
12/14/2003 01:45 PM

Saddam Hussein is real? I though he was something the government made up so we could go bomb people.



Damn.

Livewire 78,229 13
12/14/2003 01:49 PM

Yes, Virginia. There is a Saddam Hussein.

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
12/14/2003 02:09 PM

They should have left him there and had everyone in Iraq line up to take a piss into the hole.

Livewire 78,229 13
12/14/2003 02:10 PM

"Haha, stupid Americans! I am a golden shower fiend! Piss away!"

BobJohnson, Santa's Lover 178,045 22
12/14/2003 02:15 PM

Too bad for him he doesn't read GAB. I gave him the perfect plan to avoid all this. All he had to do was get plastic surgery to look like Bin Laden. . .



Do you people really think that Gore would've done a better job than Bush?



Yes.

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
12/14/2003 02:28 PM

Special Olympiads would do a better job than Bush.

Fratberry 282,615 53
12/14/2003 02:32 PM

Daddy, what's wrong with Santa Claus?

Fratberry 282,615 53
12/14/2003 02:35 PM

They should have left him there and had everyone in Iraq line up to take a piss into the hole.



I saw the images of his "new home" and the first thing that came to mind was...



Oooohhhh

There ain't no place like a hole in the ground

A hole in the ground

A hole in the ground



Oh

There ain't no place like a hole in the ground

With a big goon up there float'n around



</bugs bunny>

Lila Will KICKBOX Your Ass! 78,550 13
12/14/2003 03:40 PM

I can't take four more years of GW



Uumm, yes, you can. The same way we have "taken" years and years of previous presidents who we also thought would destroy us all.



You WILL live.

entine 0 9
12/14/2003 04:16 PM

sod-en-me insane, meet butt-ba, he is your new DADDY

Frogpop, no matter what Trae says. 173,148 25
12/14/2003 04:19 PM

Lila, I can't believe you'd support a man who let you go without power for TWO WEEKS! It's just another painful example of Big Oil keeping the little gabber down.

Lila Will KICKBOX Your Ass! 78,550 13
12/14/2003 05:12 PM

Actually, I give the prez props for signing our disaster relief bill within a week of the "inland hurricane", as they call it.



Plus, I had a really great barbecue as a result.

Yuletide Chickens 286,326 61
12/14/2003 06:03 PM

Oh, we definately would not be in Iraq if Gore had won, BUT HE DID LOOSE.



Gore would have fired a few missles at Afganistan, crowed about his war effort, and then offered up our collective American butthole for another Al Queda ass rapeing.



Yeah, we would be much better off.

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/14/2003 06:39 PM

Well, we'd have more money, anyway. What kind of a Republican are you!?

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/14/2003 06:39 PM

You're so white.

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/14/2003 06:40 PM

p.s. Saddam is not in charge of Al Queda. Where's YoMama!?

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/14/2003 06:42 PM

Lying to America about a war is noble and proud. Lying about getting head is an impeachable offense, however. Viva La Republicans!

Mr.Glass' Tepid Lust for Life 25,340 11
12/14/2003 06:43 PM

Know what was great? When we didn't know where Saddam was. It left so much to the imagination... it was like an easter-egg hunt.



Way to go US military. You're decisive co-ordinations has ruined all my fun. I hope you're happy.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/14/2003 06:45 PM

I'm glad they got him, don't get me wrong. The world will be a better place after we get to read thirty five different books about the capture. Plus, four more years of lucky coincidences for George Bush!

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 06:46 PM

I have an egg colored egg in my house somewhere left over from easter. I can smell it, I just can't find it. You can come over and try to find it, if you'd like. That should take up some of your time until GW starts another war.

Mr.Glass' Tepid Lust for Life 25,340 11
12/14/2003 06:47 PM

<action>sighs</action>



It's just not the same...

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/14/2003 06:50 PM

I like when Republicans are presidents, and everyone in rural Arkansas and the top one percent of income holders worship him like a God. One time, I went to a Young Republicans meeting and I whispered "Ronald Reagan". I have never seen so much ejaculation in my life.

Mr.Glass' Tepid Lust for Life 25,340 11
12/14/2003 07:10 PM

I have. I believe I was at a Christian Science congregation. I whispered: God is reality and it took every ounce of strength to swim against the current.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 07:29 PM

Does this mean those "Where's Saddam" books I bought as christmas gifts are worthless now? Does anyone want to buy some "war memorabilia"? Books in good condition-only one small stain.

Mr.Glass' Tepid Lust for Life 25,340 11
12/14/2003 07:30 PM

And two bigger stains clinging closely to your abdomen?! BA-ZING!

NeepNeep Put da lime in the coconut, WooWoo! 35,066 15
12/14/2003 08:03 PM

I just woke up and read it in the Newspaper. Because I slept til noon, the Newspaper was probably printed 10 hours ago. The story was slapped on the front but they didn't modify any of the other stories, such as Saddams 2nd wife saying that he would never be caught.

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/14/2003 08:12 PM

..wearing white shoes after Labor Day, EVaR AGAIN!

juggernautbaby13 400 9
12/14/2003 08:32 PM

It took us 8 months to find a guy who is perhaps the most known person in the entire world. Good job guys...you even admitted you'd been to the farms on several occasions previous to finding him. That's amazing skill right there.



As for Gore possibly doing better...presidents have been for Shakespeare since Lincoln got shot. We're gonna be screwed no matter who gets elected forevermore.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 08:36 PM

That's not true. I think Tom Waits would be a great president. 3 months, tops, and the world would be in a manic state. Bipolar people are funny.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 08:36 PM

I'm gonna go take my lithium now.

ringworm 68,315 13
12/14/2003 08:49 PM

We're gonna be screwed no matter who gets elected forevermore.



that's why i don't vote.

NeepNeep Put da lime in the coconut, WooWoo! 35,066 15
12/14/2003 10:30 PM

Elect me. I will be running in 2008. I promise to only screw the better looking half of you.

Whistler 185,889 44
12/14/2003 10:43 PM

My favorite part of this story is that the military called the raid that ended in Saddam's capture "Operation Red Dawn."



And the hole he was hiding in was "Wolverine Two."



They took the names from a Patrick Swayze movie! Fags!

NeepNeep Put da lime in the coconut, WooWoo! 35,066 15
12/14/2003 10:47 PM

Your sexy spunk of a half brother is in the military?

HighSoci 30,076 18
12/14/2003 10:58 PM

HA! you fools... that wasn't Saddam they captured. It was Osama Bin Laden. Him and Saddam had switched faces altogether because they figured they would out-smart the U.S. if they did.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/14/2003 11:01 PM

Silly fools. They could have covered their heads with silly string and fools the US. All that surgery was a waste of money. Money that could have spent financing Tim Allen's next movie.

Peccavi 2,263 10
12/14/2003 11:07 PM

It would have been a lot funnier if when they captured Saddam, he ripped his face off revealing that it was a mask.



Jinkies, it was old man Robbins!

Jerked Chickens 286,326 61
12/15/2003 10:06 AM

Who wants to see Saddam's oral exam ONe....MoRE.... TIME?!!!

DemoMonkey, skating on the thin ice. 166,252 10
12/15/2003 10:13 AM

I've seen the pictures, and all I can say is "Thank God. Thank God that tyrant, that monster, Fidel Castro, is captured at last."

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/15/2003 10:16 AM

This should help to end world terror. Saddam was actually on one of the planes on 9/11 but he parachuted to safety just seconds before impact. They found a parachute with him in his hole, meaning he was planning on doing it again. I can finally sleep through the night knowing that the man who had absolutely nothing to do with the terror attacks on 9/11 is finally in custody. G'night!

The Grand Pubah 56,794 18
12/15/2003 10:27 AM

Roumors have it that GI's found several copies of the South Park movie.



and lots of spooge...

Livewire 78,229 13
12/15/2003 10:47 AM

I promise to only screw the better looking half of you.



Would that be the top half or the bottom half?

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/15/2003 10:47 AM

Everyone's pink on the inside.

Virnomine 79,386 11
12/15/2003 10:48 AM

except lila, she's all black and heartless.

I'm just a monkey in a clown suit 120 9
12/15/2003 10:58 AM

So who gets the rights to the movie?

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/15/2003 10:59 AM

Jessica Lynch.

Virnomine 79,386 11
12/15/2003 11:01 AM

maybe now that he's done being an evil dictator, he can focus on his porn career.



or drive a taxi.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/15/2003 11:02 AM

When he came out of his hole, his first words were "I am the President of Iraq, and I demand a three picture deal with Miramax."

Lila Will KICKBOX Your Ass! 78,550 13
12/15/2003 11:03 AM

I'm a cold-hearted snake, look into my eyes.

I've been tellin' lies.

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/15/2003 11:04 AM

Uh-oh! He's been super-sized!

NeepNeep Put da lime in the coconut, WooWoo! 35,066 15
12/15/2003 06:35 PM

Would that be the top half or the bottom half?



Hmmmm. I think I will have to go with the bottom half of all these spunky GaB men, and the top half of all the women. Except Daggy, I'm sure she would bite.

Livewire 78,229 13
12/15/2003 06:44 PM

I give about 3 days before someone has a rudimentary whac-a-mole/Saddam game in Macromedia Flash.

Forty Helens agree: Puggy can't count 48,304 12
12/15/2003 06:45 PM

I would bet that already exists.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
12/15/2003 06:45 PM

The Americans are on a roll, capturing all the bad guys.

HighSoci 30,076 18
12/15/2003 07:14 PM

<action>starts singing</action>he'll be home for christmas...

BobJohnson, Love-maker Extraordinaire 178,045 22
12/15/2003 08:01 PM

But seriously, if I was Saddam. . . after I made the decision that, when they came for me, I was just going to give up without killing myself, I would have had some fun.



I mean, he could have just bought some champagne and cigars and been out lounging on the deck when the troops came. Bonus points if he was playing a game of solitaire with one of those "most wanted" decks.

The Right Honorable BobJohnson 178,045 22
12/16/2003 03:59 AM

But enough of this thread.



Everyone knows that Saddam was captured. . . I mean, unless you've been living in a hole in the ground.

The Right Honorable BobJohnson 178,045 22
12/16/2003 04:15 AM

<action>can't believe that "hole in the ground" joke didn't fly (maybe everyone realizes I stole it from the Daily Show)</action>

So. . . did you see those videos of Saddam getting checked for lice? [insert joke about the need-a-bathe party here]

ringworm 68,315 13
12/16/2003 04:43 AM

dude, quit it. you're just floundering now.

The Right Honorable BobJohnson 178,045 22
12/16/2003 05:04 AM

NO! I'll show you floundering!



Why did Saddam cross the road?







To get to the mother of the other side!

Fluro 14,139 11
12/16/2003 05:09 AM

That was the mother of all bad puns.



but seriously folks, now they've got him in camp x-ray, who'se going to deliver presants now?

Lunchbling 14,650 10
12/16/2003 06:24 AM

saddam's underground crib could seriously benefit from a little queer eye for teh straight guy.

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/16/2003 06:40 AM

Infidel Eye for the People of the Book?

Chit4Brainz 178,742 15
12/16/2003 06:52 AM

Got to love it though,



I urge all my fellow Iraqi's, to fight the Devil himself, The United States, to the death, Surrender for nothing, in the name of Allah !!



Ahhemm...... Suddam, is that you down there ?



Youbetcha, (Ohh Camel piss),

comming right out, don't shoot guys.....

It's me alright ...Who wants the Ace of Spades ?

Pubah 56,794 18
12/16/2003 10:43 AM

Don't worry, he'll end up in that 'special place' where folks like Manuel Noriega went when the dropped off the public radar...



Club Med's special section for diposed despots

godot (master of the maha) 15,434 11
12/16/2003 11:14 AM

I wonder if they'll call the made for tv movie



"Saddam and Sons"



A cantankerous junkman named Saddam and the ghosts of his two bumbling sons, Uday and Qusay, have wild crazy adventures while running from...