Forty Helens agree: Puggy can't count 48,304 12
12/16/2003 02:22 AM

Silent night

Holy night

All is calm

Cuz Jannie's not here...

Declan McManus: The Laundry Wizard 131,869 36
12/16/2003 02:26 AM

Pentiums roasting on an open fire



Jack Frost nipping at your tits



Yuletide Carrolls being sung by a chior....



Folks dressed up like Lloyd's dog....



Tiny twats with their eyes all aglow, will find it hard to post tonight.

Saint Mookie 17,582 13
12/16/2003 02:27 AM

STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU STFU

Eric Nguyen 23,705 11
12/16/2003 02:28 AM

Fa ra ra ra ra fa ra ra ra

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/16/2003 02:29 AM

Sorry Mookie, that's really more of a chant..

godot (master of the maha) 15,434 11
12/16/2003 02:54 AM

I saw mommy Frost-ing santa claus

under the mistletoe last night

Lunchbling 14,650 10
12/16/2003 02:59 AM

i think more people need to click eric. thats the first time ive actually laughed out loud (or, LOL for the pantstypes) in a long time.

ringworm 68,315 13
12/16/2003 03:00 AM

oh, i clicked it, but i was more pissed off that he beat me to it.

Chit4Brainz 178,742 15
12/16/2003 03:07 AM

Ya better watch out

Ya better not whine

Ya better think twice

I'm tellin ya why

Cause clickies are gonna be averaged from now on.



So make your list

And check it twice

If it aint funny

You'll pay the price

Cause clickies are gonna be averaged from now on

Fluro 14,139 11
12/16/2003 04:44 AM

Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house

everyone felt Shakespearety

even the mouse

Mom at the whorehouse

and dad smoking grass

I'd just settled down

for a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn

I heard such a clatter

I sprung from my piece

to see what's the matter

Then out on the lawn

I saw a big dick

I knew in a moment

it must be Saint Nick

He came down the chimney

like a bat out of hell

I knew in a moment

the old Froster fell

He filled all our stockings

with pretzels and beer

and a big rubber dick

for my brother the queer

He rose up the chimney

with a thunderous fart

the son of a bitch

blew the chimney apart

He swore and he cursed

as he rode out of sight

piss on you all

and have a good night

Have A Nice Christmas, Emerson

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/16/2003 05:23 AM

Oh the Mookie outside is frightful

But the Trae is so delightful

And since I've no place to go,

Let Me Post! Let Me Post! Let Me Post!



We all enjoy Photoshopping

And I'm the right Frog for Popping

Mr. Hargrave is our kind of host,

Let Me Post! Let Me Post! Let Me Post!



When they finally get search to work

We can each bump up our favorite thread.

But if you all expect to lurk

Then just go to H.o.B. instead!



Teh funny is slowly dying

And, I fear, it's not worth trying

But as long as you'll click me most,

Let Me Post! Let Me Post! Let Me Post!

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
12/16/2003 11:31 AM

This one didn't need much changing:



It's Christmastime

There's no need to be afraid

At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade

And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy

Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime



But say a prayer



Pray for the other ones

At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun

There's a world outside your window

And it's a world of dread and fear

Where the only funny flowing is the bitter sting of tears

And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging

chimes of doom

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you



And there won't be snow in HoB land this Christmastime

The greatest gift they'll get this year is Twizzlers

(Oooh) Where no funny ever grows

No mahas nor ottos flow

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?



(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone

(Here's to them) over there not having fun

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
12/16/2003 11:42 AM

Oh John Hargrave, oh John Hargrave,

Why won't you post my article.

Oh John Hargrave, oh John Hargrave,

Why won't you post my article.



You emailed me a month ago.

You said, "...in the next few weeks..." you'd make it so.

Trae LaTrash 156,785 17
12/16/2003 11:57 AM

Gabber's got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from Hargrave's Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for me an' Jay Stevens, we believe.



Marilyn had been drinking too much eggnog,

And we begged her not to go.

But she forgot her medication,

And she staggered out the door into the snow.



Then we found Chickens Christmas morning,

At the scene of the attack

He had hoof prints on his forehead,

And incriminating claw marks on his back.



Gabbers got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from Hargrave's Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for me an' Frogpop, we believe.



Now we're all so proud of Pubah,

He's been taking this so well.

See him in there watching porn,

Drinking beer and playing cards with Gracie/Mel.



It's not Christmas without Lucifer,

All the board is dressed in black.

And we just can't help but wonder

Should we open up Goatse's link

or just hit Back?

HIT BACK!!!



Now the ham is on the table

And the pudding made of dick (ahhhhh!)

And the rainbow colored candles,

That would just have matched the flag

in Declan's digs.



I've warned all my friends and Gabbers,

Better watch out for yourselves.

They should never give a license,

To a man who drives a tricked out Honda

and plays with himself.



Sing it, Eric!!

Trae LaTrash 156,785 17
12/16/2003 12:13 PM

Jingle balls, jingle balls

Masturbation all the way

How much fun it is to ride

A hard Coleridge all damn day.



Hey!

Chi-Chi Fellipe 161,353 14
12/16/2003 12:14 PM

So this is Christmas.

And what have we done?

We opened our presents

While the Ethiopians got none.

Trae LaTrash 156,785 17
12/16/2003 12:17 PM

Father christmas, give us some money

Don't mess around with those silly toys.

We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over

We want your bread so don't make us annoyed

Give all the toys to the little rich boys



Yeah, I didn't change anything but damn that's a good song.

Regoras of Rivendale 23,705 11
12/16/2003 12:39 PM

Pubah the black imprisoned reindeer

Had a very smelly nose

And if you ever saw it

You would even say it's gross

All of the other gabbers

to this day laugh and slap his head

They never let poor pubah

post in any JP threads

Livewire 78,229 13
12/16/2003 01:27 PM

John Hargrave pranks, we click in thanks,

tubes fill with pee, bringing us glee,

we post in Gab, comedy rehab,

stories and jokes, from funny folks,

It's... Zug... dot... com...

It's... Zug... dot... com...



Pubah is black, Virnomine is back,

Daggy is drunk, Lila's ka-dunk,

JP's a flirt, Mookie pervert,

Peccavi's sinned, Frogpop's snowed in,



Ottos and mahas, smiles groans and hahas,

Strange conversations, sexual frustration,

Merry, merry, merry, merry Gabmas

Merry, merry, merry, merry Gabmas



MongoLloyd canoes, Glass has the blues,

Aimless is twisted, Ford was blacklisted,

Salvage semi-lurks, Demo's berzerk,

Declan's a bear, BobJohnson's not all there,

It's... Zug... dot... com...

It's... Zug... dot... com...



Eric roasts noobs, Trae flashed her boobs,

Kittuns basket case, ringworm lower case,

Lunchbox can fist, Puggy limp wrist,

Chi Chi's a ninja, nothing rhymes with ninja,



Capcon brings new members, it's been up since I remember,

Merry, merry, merry, merry Gabmas

Merry, merry, merry, merry Gabmas



Phuc draws icons, Kittuns is blonde,

Spicey's in Texas, sockk disrespects us,

Chickens rides bike, Neep & Jaggy look alike,

we all Gab from work, consider it a perk,



On caffeine we're all wired, if we get caught then we'll be fired,

It's... Zug... dot... com...

It's... Zug... dot... com...

Livewire 78,229 13
12/16/2003 01:37 PM

Excellent thread, Jannie!

Jerked Chickens 286,326 61
12/16/2003 02:01 PM

Eric, that fa ra ra crap is the funniest thing you have ever posted.

Declan McManus: The Laundry Wizard 131,869 36
12/16/2003 02:04 PM

Love and joy come to you, and to you some clickies too, and God bless you and send you a funny New Year, and God send you a funny New Year....

BobJohnson, Popemobile Driver 178,045 22
12/16/2003 02:25 PM

Alright. . . no one's done it yet. . . I hate to post the most obvious, easiest, least creative one. . . but I will anyway:



You better watch out

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why

Saint Mookie is coming to town



He's making a list

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice

Saint Mookie is coming to town



He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why

Saint Mookie is coming to town

Combien pour la fillette, Aimless? 54,807 10
12/16/2003 02:27 PM

Wow Bob. Your creativity really shined with that one.

dinesh 24,862 16
12/16/2003 02:36 PM

find and replace aint as easy as it looks

BobJohnson, Popemobile Driver 178,045 22
12/16/2003 02:40 PM

For the love of those cheerleader pictures of Aimless! I specifically said that I knew it wasn't funny nor creative. It just had to be done!

Jerked Chickens 286,326 61
12/16/2003 02:51 PM

Clickes to whoever can find my 12 days or Gab Christmas lyrics from last year.

Livewire 78,229 13
12/16/2003 02:51 PM

Nil desperandum, Bob. No one ever built a statue to a critic.

Livewire 78,229 13
12/16/2003 03:34 PM

However, critics frequently get a Shakespeareload of clickies. Depends on your priorities I guess.

Virnomine 79,386 11
12/16/2003 03:42 PM

Clickies are mine

godot (master of the maha) 15,434 11
12/16/2003 03:47 PM

Joy to the world! GODOT is gone!

And gab - once more - has peace -

cause ev'ry flame sent godot to doom

and chickens and kittuns sing

and virnomine and trae sing

and highsoci and aimless sing



He freed gab and zug from his ugly face

And the stench of his unfunny poo

The failures of his wittiness

And wonders of His suck,

And wonders of His suck,

And wonders, wonders of His suck.

Jerked Chickens 286,326 61
12/16/2003 03:50 PM

Danke, Virmeister.

BobJohnson, Popemobile Driver 178,045 22
12/16/2003 03:59 PM

All I want for Christmas

is a picture of goatse,

a picture of goatse,

click this link, goatse!

Gee, if I could only

have a picture of goatse,

then I could wish you

"Merry Christmas."

It seems so long since I could say,

"Foolith Earthling sitting on a thistle!"

Jerked Chickens 286,326 61
12/16/2003 04:05 PM

Yes Virginia, unfortunately, there is a Goatse.

DemoMonkey. Now With 10% Real Jews! 166,252 10
12/16/2003 04:08 PM

I'm, dreaming, of a spite

Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Where the teardrops glisten

And no-one will listen

Cause they're all Frost-ing 'tards, you know



Oh yes

I'm, dreaming, of a spite Christmas

To every Gabber in my sight

May your deaths be painful

and trite.

And may all your Christmas's

have spite.

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/16/2003 11:56 PM

bump, because I lurve Jannie.

ringworm 68,315 13
12/17/2003 12:11 AM

lurve is a many splendored thing.

thursday 125 10
12/17/2003 04:42 AM

nothing rhymes with ninja was the best.

Jannie 10,022 10
12/17/2003 07:26 AM

Secret Santa, slip a package into my box that rocks,

I've been funny all year.

Secret Santa, and hurry to the mailbox tonight.



Secret Santa, I've waited for your gift now for weeks, you freak

Now it's finally here

Secret Santa, I can't believe you wrapped it so tight!



What the hell is this inside?

I opened up your package and I almost died.

What kind of Carroll would send someone

A life-sized poster of Goatse?



(ba dum ba dum)



Secret Santa, I opened up my package at work, you jerk.

Now my boss thinks I'm weird

Secret Santa, I won't be able to sleep tonight.

Silent Pubah 56,794 18
12/19/2003 01:40 PM

...now my boss thinks I'm weird...



I'm not able to sleep at night

come shave my crotch beard





AKA, Botty call for Secret Santa

Kittuns is a schizophrenic and so am I 24,428 11
12/19/2003 01:51 PM

An oldie but goodie...



WALKING AROUND IN WOMENS UNDERWEAR

(sung to the tune of 'Walking in a Winter Wonderland')



Lacy things, Trae is missing,

didn't ask, her permission,

wearing her clothes, her silk pantyhose,

Trixxies walking around in womens underwear.



In the store

There's a teddy

With thin straps

like spaghetti

It holds Virn tight

Like Mookie's handcuffs at night

Trixxies walking around in women's underwear.



On Gab there's this guy named Lunchbox

He pretends that Ringworm is the goatse man

He'll say are you read

And Ringworm'll say "Whoa Man!"

Let's wait until the wives are out of town



Later on

If you wanna

We can dress

Like Madonna

We'll put on eye shade

and join the Mardi Gab parade

Trixxie's walkin' round in women's underwear

Silent Pubah 56,794 18
12/19/2003 02:00 PM

...Post in any JP threads...



Then one foggy Christmas eve

Aimless came to say

Pubah with your nose so black

won't you spork me in the sack

Then how the Gabbers love him

and some were heard to say

Pubah the incarcerated reindeer

Gee it would be nice if you were

Gay

ringworm 68,315 13
12/19/2003 02:00 PM

And Ringworm'll say "Whoa Man!"

Let's wait until the wives are out of town



HA! the joke's on you! no one will marry me!

Eric Z Gook 23,705 11
12/19/2003 02:12 PM

Time to dump your girlfriend holly,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Tis the season to do Wally,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.



Don we now our gay apparel,

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Shop at Gap and Crackerbarrel,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.



Time to come out of the closet,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

To the gay porn you will toss it.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.



Follow Trixxie to get measured,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Leave her house with Doorknob pleasures,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.



Don't be scared of Puggy's passes,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

He ain't ever broke no asses,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.





Sing the QTA, all together,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Chaffing comes from lace and leather,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

*Chance* 171,270 14
12/19/2003 02:14 PM

what happened to Fa,Ra,Ra,Ra,Ra?

Silent Pubah 56,794 18
12/19/2003 02:23 PM

Come on yall...don't hate



Deck Your Balls is funny as hell!

Combien pour la fillette, Aimless? 54,807 10
12/19/2003 02:27 PM

Then one foggy Christmas eve

Aimless came to say

Pubah with your nose so black...



*wipes a tear from her eye* My god...that was beautiful.

Silent Pubah 56,794 18
12/19/2003 02:28 PM

<action>runs away in joyfull embarrassment</action>

Lucifer 5,260 10
12/19/2003 05:25 PM

As song by Jacko:



Shall I play with his...

Bum bumbum bum BUM?

I'll touch him while I sing...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!

It's good to be the King...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!





When they scold me...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!

I'll say they beat me...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!

I'll turn to Allah...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!



Police bru-tal-ity...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!

I'll play the race card...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!

But which race card?

Bum bumbum bum BUM!



I'll pay his parents off...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!

Like OJ, I'll get off...

Bum bumbum bum BUM!

Better hide your SON...

Chit4Brainz 178,742 15
12/19/2003 09:08 PM

Thought Jacko was singing the Elton John Classic:

"Don't let your son, go down on Me"

Bob C. Cock 31,599 13
12/20/2003 10:24 AM

I'm just a Jew, a lonely Jew, on Christmas.

Bob C. Cock 31,599 13
12/20/2003 10:25 AM

Puggy, Declan, Trixxie,

There are all so Frost-ing gay

And when they get together

With asses they will play.







Fine. It's a Hannukah song. So blow me.

Bob C. Cock 31,599 13
12/20/2003 10:26 AM

In that context, maybe I should have left out blow me

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
12/20/2003 11:55 AM

Gablanta night

Mavis all night driiiiving

It is the night

Trixxie showed us his girth



Svetlana serves

Young boys while Gabber's dining

They drank some beer

And Trae gave out shirts



Outside they smoked

The neighbor screamed "Loud noises!"

And on the bus

The sassy goat was born



Caaaaallllll Hargrave please

Don't fear his mother's voice(es)

Some riiiiiiiides. East Siiiiiiide.

And lots of webcam porn.

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
12/22/2003 10:01 AM

O little board of Gab on Zug

How still we see thee lie

But thankfully

Nobody screams

When we don't use reply



We don't have personal icons

Some think that John's no fun

But we should thank our lucky stars

That we don't have on-yun

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
12/22/2003 10:14 AM

O little board of Gab on Zug

How slow you are today

Jaggy and Neep

Give Daggy creeps

And Puggy is teh gay



Saint Mookie killed a hooker

And Virn just ate a ham

Lucifier is now godot

And Trae has got a man

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
12/22/2003 10:24 AM

O little board of Gab on Zug

The tubgirl makes me sick

Eric Nguyen has slanty eyes

And Gonzo, um, has no schtick



While Lila doles out mahas

And ringworm drinks some beer

salvage hates the government

And Chi-Chi has no career

Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
12/22/2003 10:31 AM

Oh little board of Gab on Zug

Make Mavis stop this quick

Show him you're not at all amused

By giving negaclicks



He thought he was being funny

But he was thinking wrong

The funny ended days ago

With Livewire's awesome song

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/27/2003 02:54 AM

You better not shout,

You better not cry,

You better just run,

I'm tellin' you why..



The Mookie-Mobile is coming, to town.

Livewire 78,229 13
12/27/2003 03:24 AM

Bring out your dead!



*honk*



Bring out your dead!



*honk*

Frogpop the Snowman 173,148 25
12/27/2003 03:29 AM

I'll click you, Mr. Funnyman, but DON'T CAPCONJACK JANNIE'S THREAD!

TableTopJane 173,958 15
12/27/2003 03:29 AM

I'm not dead yet.











I'm feeling much better.

Hollis 7,284 14
12/27/2003 11:56 AM

Silent Gab

Holy Gab

Nothing is calm

Nor is drab



People are crazy

on this site

They all post

With hatred and spite



All they want are clickies!



All that they want are clickies.

Traemas Trollups for Everyone! 156,785 17
12/08/2006 09:38 PM

Frost an A!



I was kind of funny back then. Must have been before I discovered the power of my boobs.

Pants 14,252 17
12/12/2007 01:43 PM

I was kind of funny back then. Must have been before I discovered the power of my boobs.

Or maybe it's all the jenkem.