The Gayest Moment in The History of The Universe
A comedy article
by Mavis Beacon  18,219  13
12/22/2003 11:52 AM 427 views
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Warning: The following article contains Nudity, Adult Situations and Strong Gay Sexual Content.
I celebrated my birthday a few weeks ago, but because I was out of town I missed out on the birthday sex. Once I finally made it back to Orlando, birthday sex was in bold 18 pt. italic underlined blinking font at the top of my list of things to do. The boyfriend and I set aside a Monday night specifically for that purpose (although he didn't know it yet... I just told him I was coming over to have dinner and watch a movie).
I beat him back to his house on that balmy December evening, where his roommate had decided to bring out some old vinyl and give it a spin on the old turntable. We talked as we listened to some 70's favorites and I impressed him with my knowledge of James Bond theme songs. Boyfriend finally showed up and we retired to the bedroom where we watched a syndicated episode of Will & Grace on UPN.
 It wasn't long before I was laying it on pretty thick - after all, I was 5 days into my 24th year of life with no sex to mark the occasion. Before long the clothes were off and things were really starting to heat up, when all of the sudden I heard some voices from the living room. God I hope I get it. I hope I get it. How many people does he neeeeed? Immediately I recognized the tune; his roommate had put on the Original Broadway Recording of A Chorus Line.
I was trapped. Here I was about to enjoy my birthday sex, but how could I not sing along (or at the very least tap my foot or hum) to this glorious album!? If I didn't do something quickly, we would soon be rocking to the rhythm of "Dance 10, Looks 3." I tried to tune it out, but as we switched positions I was faced with Jack McFarland and Karen Walker making yet another pun with the word "Mary" on the television. I turned my head away only to see a single beam of sunlight shining through the window on boyfriend's small Judy Garland collection on VHS. My head began to spin. It was all too overwhelming.
There we were. Two men. Naked. Having sex. Listening to A Chorus Line. Watching Will & Grace. In plain sight of The Wizard of Oz.
It was gayer than Gay Gayerson. It was gayer than Liberace drinking red wine in high heels lip synching to Madonna's "Like A Virgin."
Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to say I have been part of The Gayest Moment in The History of The Universe.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
72 votes
4.9
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35 Comments on "The Gayest Moment in The History of The Universe"
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Virnomine 79,386  11
01/14/2004 03:00 PM
May be just me, but anytime a man has his penis in another man's ass, that's pretty damn gay.
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Godot 15,434 11
01/14/2004 03:00 PM
12-22?
wow - seems like a big lag for articles to be posted...
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Kato 23,705 11
01/14/2004 03:02 PM
ewwwww I feel gay reading that.
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no_key_bandit 76,490 10
01/14/2004 03:03 PM
"...boyfriend's small Judy Garland collection on VHS.
Is it still gay if your Judy Garland collection is on DVD?
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butternuts 14,362 10
01/14/2004 03:37 PM
Gayer than deep-throating a Pepsi can on MeGaNcAm?
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Whistler 185,889 44
01/14/2004 03:40 PM
Great article, Mavis! It just inspired me to put The Ethel Merman Collection on the CD player. Off I go!
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Bad Donkey 19,242 12
01/14/2004 03:46 PM
Don't worry Nut. Your record still stands.
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Chickens *gollum gollum* 286,326 61
01/14/2004 03:49 PM
I really need this job, please God I need this job.
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2004 03:53 PM
Oh I got the job alright.
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Chickens *gollum gollum* 286,326 61
01/14/2004 03:57 PM
Tits and Aaaaaassssss.
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2004 05:35 PM
tough crowd
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Fluro, Love from a glove 14,139 11
01/14/2004 05:48 PM
Just awesome. I wonder if any other members can top that, and I highly doubt it.
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2004 06:04 PM
It's slowed considerably since I moved to Gainesville. Boyfriend will be here in August and we'll commence the regular sexo.
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Aimless is a Hazy Shade of Winter 54,807 10
01/14/2004 06:07 PM
12/22 is my wedding anniversery. Now everytime it comes around I will think about you getting it up the butt.
Yeah, great.
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Declan McManus: P.I. of Love! 131,869 36
01/14/2004 08:40 PM
<action> Slips soundtrack to Chicago into cd player....."Roxiiiiie Hart!"
Maximum fabulosity, Mavis! You could not get more fabulous.
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2004 09:29 PM
I think we need to have an pee tube and below it a little "fabulous" tube for qta.
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TableTopJane 173,958 15
01/14/2004 09:38 PM
What a fabulous idea.
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Jesus H. Christ 908 9
01/14/2004 09:40 PM
You guys are being insesitive to my homophobia.
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Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
01/14/2004 09:51 PM
I never knew Mavis was gay.
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2004 10:41 PM
I knew I was gay, I just didn't know to what extent. That moment pretty much answered all of my questions.
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Kato 23,705 11
01/14/2004 10:44 PM
So that was your first gay sexual experience?
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2004 10:48 PM
No, but definitely the gayest one ever shared between two individuals since the beginning of time.
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Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
01/14/2004 10:48 PM
If you published that story in the Advocate, the universe would collapse.
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/14/2004 11:00 PM
That moment will be known as the second Big Bang.
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Hollis with a twist of lime! 7,284 14
01/14/2004 11:30 PM
May be just me, but anytime a man has his penis in another man's ass, that's pretty damn gay.
Virn, I've got to agree with you there.
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Neurosis 109 10
01/15/2004 03:44 AM
"I knew I was gay, I just didn't know to what extent."
I think the first time you gratefully took it up poopchute should have solved that mystery...
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
01/15/2004 02:19 PM
Obviously you've never heard of the gay hierarchy. Some gays are gayer than other gays, regardless of poop chute intake.
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Whistler 185,889 44
01/15/2004 02:37 PM
According to that quiz, I'm mostly straight acting. Probably a good idea so as not to embarass the wife and kids.
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Declan McManus: P.I. of Love! 131,869 36
01/15/2004 02:42 PM
Besides, when you're with me, you come across as positively Neanderthal.
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Mavis Beacon 18,219 13
11/18/2004 04:22 PM
It's like Will & Grace day on the board today.
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