I am the Prankster of the Universe.
A comedy article
by Ducky  10,666  13
01/29/2004 01:58 AM 415 views
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Now, there are a lot of funny people here on Gab, who are much more highly ranked than I am.
However, here in Oregon, I am the Quen of teh Funny. And I'll tell you why.
It all started with a fun little ditty called.. The Chicken Dance.
The Chicken Dance is an infectious song. If you hear it, you WILL sing it. I guarantee this.
This song had been floating all over the office. I heard it in the cube next to me, and soon was humming to it myself.
Enter: The Situation. I got an email that I couldn't answer. When this happens, we call the Resource Line, staffed by Senior Tech's who Know It All. He's humming while he peruses his database, and then apologizes. I say "Well, at least it isn't the Chicken Dance."
At the end of the call, I get a text message on my computer. "NO!!! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD DAMN YOU!!"
Thus, the Legacy of the Chicken Dance begins.
I get calls during the day, someone singing The Chicken Dance and then hanging up.
I threaten the Senior that I will go out and buy one of those Chicken Dance Elmo's, superglue it to his desk, and then trip the mechanism so it NEVER STOPS SINGING.
And then I plot my revenge.
That evening, after the Senior Tech had gone home, I accessed the voicemail system. I sang the Chicken Dance. And then I hung up.
This morning, I get a text on my machine. "Ahh, I was hoping you'd show up, I have a bone to pick with you." He then proceeds to tell me that he listened to my message filled with my "evil hijinx" and yes, I'm quoting him, exact words, and then laughs. And then begins SINGING THE SONG AGAIN. The Supervisor (high up guy) who shares the cube with him asks him why he's singing that damn song again.
The senior explains my jest. The Supervisor proceeds to laugh, literally, for half an hour. He then proclaims this to be the Prank of the Universe!
So today, before leaving work, I drew a picture of the Chicken Dance Elmo, wrote down the lyrics, and told him he was damn lucky I don't have that kind of disposable income.
The moral: Don't mess with the chick that scares the normals.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
25 votes
4.9
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16 Comments on "I am the Prankster of the Universe."
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0 votes
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Fratberry 282,615  53
02/13/2004 04:33 PM
Funny story, but what's a "Quen"?
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Frou Frou 156,785 17
02/13/2004 04:34 PM
Damn it, Ducky!! Just a stinkin' article about it, has me singing it.
GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!
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Fluro's conventional oven 14,139 11
02/13/2004 04:35 PM
I understand that funny queens and queen of teh funny are slightly different things...
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butternuts 14,362 10
02/13/2004 04:36 PM
I've heard a lot about this song but I'm not sure I've ever actually heard it.
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Livewire 78,229 13
02/13/2004 04:38 PM
You sang it? The Chicken Dance has words?
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Declan McManus: The Steamy One 131,869 36
02/13/2004 04:46 PM
Is this the same "Chicken Dance" that's played at wedding receptions?
If so, I am a great chicken dancer!
Howsoever, I'm still regional champeen of the HokeyPokey.
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John Hargrave 128,746 73
02/13/2004 04:46 PM
I found this very funny, since I've had to sit through this site approximately 40 million times.
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Fluro's conventional oven 14,139 11
02/13/2004 04:56 PM
Preytell, what are the lyrics?
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No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
02/13/2004 04:58 PM
Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger...
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butternuts 14,362 10
02/13/2004 04:59 PM
Do you wanna feel good?
Lets laugh and play
Wanna have some fun?
Satan is lord
Are you feelin' sad?
Got a problem, here's the cure:
Do the Chicken Dance,
I am the angel of death
I don't wanna be a chicken,
I don't wanna be a duck,
so I shake my tail
Satan is lord
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PatTheGreat 948 9
02/13/2004 05:02 PM
I once met a guy who would ask the people walking around selling concessions at football games to do the chicken dance before he'd buy anything. One did, apparently.
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Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
02/13/2004 05:11 PM
If Chickens has his own dance, then he damn sure needs his own icon.
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Staff Sergeant Mookie 17,582 13
02/19/2004 02:28 AM
I thus proclaim this to be the funniest article I ever did read. It's even better than the piece of crap I wrote. I may steal it for my next term paper, my teachers will think I am a pure genius, and I may even get accepted to Stanford.
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Ducky-Prankster of teh Universe! 10,666 13
02/19/2004 02:34 AM
Wow Mookie! That's awesome, I'm glad you liked it, and you wrote this BEFORE the bjbribery.
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