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OCD
A comedy conversation by John Hargrave 128,746 73
02/03/2004 11:06 AM 424 views

Let's all share the most obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive things that we do on a regular basis.



Mine is my desk. It must be clutter-free, with everything arranged in orderly piles at right angles. I freak if anything is turned several degrees clockwise or counter-clockwise.


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96 Comments on "

OCD

"

(Funniest: no_key_bandit,TableTopJane,What's it all about, Chickens?)


Side-splitting 26 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861215
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
02/03/2004 11:10 AM

I keep hitting the "Refresh" button.

 

Side-splitting 9 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861216
Fratberry 282,615 53
02/03/2004 11:10 AM

The voices in my head are only allowed to talk one at a time. Anything else and I just go nuts.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861217
Bienvenidos a Lila 78,550 13
02/03/2004 11:11 AM

Pop my ankles the way some people pop their fingers. It amazes me how the boy never notices.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861218
Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
02/03/2004 11:11 AM

The comforter on my bed is striped. I CAN NOT sleep unless the stripes are going head-to-toe. If the blanket somehow shifts in the middle of the night, it wakes me up. I can feel it.



And I don't eat blue food.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861221
Crazyballs 11,888 10
02/03/2004 11:13 AM

I can't go more than 3 hours without cleaning my ears. I take Q-tips to work.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861223
Livewire 78,229 13
02/03/2004 11:14 AM

I pull my socks up. If there is so much as a wrinkle in my sock, I pull it up.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861224
TalentApeJob 173,958 15
02/03/2004 11:14 AM

I got you beat, SHP. Before I go to bed, my sheets, blankets, and pillows have to be all nice and lined up. I have spent an hour before trying to get every corner just right. My loving brother thought it would be fun to get me striped sheets. Now, I have to make sure all the stripes are lined up perfectly. Plus, if your bed is perfectly made, your room looks cleaner, even if you have Shakespeare all over the floor.

 

Side-splitting 20 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861226
What's it all about, Chickens? 286,326 61
02/03/2004 11:15 AM

I brush my teeth everyday, EVEN IF THEY DON'T NEED IT.

 

Side-splitting 16 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861228
Kellogg's Porn Flakes 3,943 11
02/03/2004 11:18 AM

Bah, that's nothing.



I insist on wiping my ass every time I take a Shakespeare.

 

Side-splitting 15 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861229
Crazylegs Trae 156,785 17
02/03/2004 11:18 AM

The toilet paper roll has to be put on where the paper comes OVER, not UNDER.



When I'm at someones house and it's under, I have to change it to over.

 

Hilarious 7 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861232
Livewire 78,229 13
02/03/2004 11:23 AM

Am I the only one who looked at the thread title and immediately thought Orchestral Canoe-vers in the Dark?

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861233
butternuts 14,362 10
02/03/2004 11:24 AM

I am unable to eat food unless I wash my hands first. Even if I wash them before taking a walk down to the cafe and I try to convince myself they are clean, I get an overwhelming feeling that they are dirty and I *must* wash them before I start eating. As far as OCD habits, I guess this one isn't so bad. Since I started doing it a few years ago I haven't gotten sick as much.



My desk is a pigsty. I would give anything to be OC about it.



I'm starting to become OC about my kitchen at home. I need to do any dishes before I start cooking and the counters must be relatively clutter-free.



 

Side-splitting 9 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861236
What's it all about, Chickens? 286,326 61
02/03/2004 11:28 AM

Hen? How did you sign on under butternut's account?

 

Side-splitting 11 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861238
Virnomine 79,386 11
02/03/2004 11:34 AM

I just HAVE to masturbate everyday.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861239
Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
02/03/2004 11:34 AM

Also

Whenever I get any kind of burger or sammich from anywhere - if I don't assemble it, I have to reassmeble it.



Must move pickles, tomatoes, redistribute mayo and ketchup. I'll even unstick bacon from cheese to rearrange it.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861240
sharribarri 14,124 11
02/03/2004 11:42 AM

I think parking a car is fun. Thats why just to have more "fun" I parallel park even if its not necessary and will back into a parking space to "hone my skills". Also, if I'm not perfectly equal distance between the lines, I will correct it until I am. I annoy my friends & family by doijng this, so they usually will end up driving me instead.

 

Hilarious 7 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861242
sharribarri 14,124 11
02/03/2004 11:44 AM

also, I use "the quotation marks" unecessarily & "often."

 

Side-splitting 9 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861246
no_key_bandit 76,490 10
02/03/2004 11:50 AM

I'm just a (1234567) regular, ordin...(1234567)...ary guy.

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861250
Fratberry 282,615 53
02/03/2004 11:52 AM

I can't stand to not know where a piece of clothing is in my house. Usually this happens late at night when we're getting ready for bed. I won't be able to find a particular shirt I'm looking for and I cannot get into bed until I find it. See, I'm kind of a neat freak so when somethings' out of place I just go bat Shakespeare crazy like that.



Makes the wife feel all warm and cozy and secure in her own sanity.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861297
DemoMonkey, the Simian Who Would Be King. 166,252 10
02/03/2004 12:24 PM

On the way to work I'll stop my car, turn around, go home, and double check that I've locked the door.



I'm not sure this counts though, because there have been times I've done this and discovered that I really DID leave the door unlocked.



So I'm either compulsive, or absent minded.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861305
Fratberry 282,615 53
02/03/2004 12:37 PM

I'd say a little from column A, a little from column B.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861313
PsychoCowboy 341 11
02/03/2004 12:59 PM

I used to be more OC than I am now. The reason is my wife who I'm sure could freak out a pig with the messes she

makes and is quite comfortable to leave till "later", "later" being any time within the next month or so.



I guess I still have problems reconciling that she can spend two hours on her personal hygiene but not spare 10

minutes to clean the stove but I'm trying like a mofo to get used to it because I refuse to become one of those sorry

assed whipped husbands who clean up after my wife. I'm saving that for my future kids.

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861314
Charlton 250 10
02/03/2004 01:01 PM

You cut/pasted that to spell check it, didn't you?

 

Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861316
PsychoCowboy 341 11
02/03/2004 01:04 PM

OK, OK, I did but at the time I didn't realize the irony of it. Damn. I guess I'm still OC...

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861317
studio 2,001 10
02/03/2004 01:08 PM

I visit Zug almost every day.

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861319
Kittuns is a schizophrenic and so am I 24,428 11
02/03/2004 01:13 PM

When I'm at someones house and it's under, I have to change it to over.



Trae is SO NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!



*Makes sure toilet paper goes under, not over*

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861328
Crazylegs Trae 156,785 17
02/03/2004 01:26 PM

Straws... when I'm eating out at a restaurant (see: everyday) I have to drink out of a straw. HAVE TO.



I have no idea where those glasses have been. Also, if they take my glass to refill it, I keep the straw, ALWAYS. I don't want them putting their grimey hands on my straw.

 

Side-splitting 19 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861332
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
02/03/2004 01:29 PM

I have to tear off one end of the straw paper and use my breath to propel the remaining straw paper at the person sitting across the table from me. I HAVE TO! I'm not being a jerk. It's a medical condition. Honest!

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861335
butternuts 14,362 10
02/03/2004 01:44 PM

Ever since seeing the movie The Lost Boys I have to double check my rice and/or noodles to make sure there are no maggots or worms in it.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861337
Space ADMIRAL BobJohnson 178,045 22
02/03/2004 01:45 PM

I unconciously remove the labels from beer bottles and roll them in my fingers.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861340
Declan McManus: Master....Baker 131,869 36
02/03/2004 01:50 PM

I really like canned pears. A lot. I could eat a can of pears every day, but don't. They have to be DelMonte brand. Either the juice pack or the syrup pack. Halves, not slices.





I can only use a bath towel three times before washing it. Fortunately, I have lots of bath towels, because my next one is:



I hate to run a less than full load of laundry. My washer does have a water level control, and I use it, but I feel better with a larger load of wash.



Last..for now. I have to check and scoop my Poecat's box at least 4 times a day.

 

Side-splitting 18 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861342
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
02/03/2004 01:54 PM

I can't stand it when people stop the microwave early and leave time on there and DON'T HIT THE FREAKING CLEAR BUTTON! Whenever I see that, I have to put someone's testicles in the microwave and cook them with the remaining microwave cook time.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861343
Kittuns is a schizophrenic and so am I 24,428 11
02/03/2004 01:57 PM

I hate that too spicey.



I also hate when people in my office take a stinky poo-poo and then turn off the light which turns off the exhaust fan.



But that's not just OCD, that's sociopathic behavior.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861344
Hazel-rah 13,437 11
02/03/2004 02:03 PM

You guys are freaks!

 

Hilarious 7 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861346
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
02/03/2004 02:04 PM

So sayeth the girl with the doggie sweaters.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861347
Pakalolo 23,705 11
02/03/2004 02:07 PM

I can't log on here without thinking about tits

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861348
What's it all about, Chickens? 286,326 61
02/03/2004 02:08 PM

I turn around 3 times before lying down.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861351
Crazyballs 11,888 10
02/03/2004 02:10 PM

whenever I walk into an elevator, I have to masturbate.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861374
The Great Vogonsky 20,522 17
02/03/2004 02:49 PM

Fingernails! My fingernails must be trimmed at all times. I'm fine if I don't see that they've grown to be more more than half a milimeter off the quick, but as soon as I see them, I can 'feel' them on the ends of my fingers, and I can think of nothing else until I cut them.

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861389
dinesh 24,862 16
02/03/2004 03:31 PM

Mine is my desk. It must be clutter-free, with everything arranged in orderly piles at right angles. I freak if anything is turned several degrees clockwise or counter-clockwise.





i know NB already said it, but...this is so NOT my OCD behavior.



I lost a pair of sunglasses on my desk at home. sunglasses. it's been over a month now, and I still haven't found them.



it took me about 20 minutes to find my checkbook the other day.



i can find an endless number of examples of my messy desk.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861418
Elizabeth 4,212 10
02/03/2004 04:05 PM

I can't think of one thing I'm obsessive/anal about. I even play fast and loose with hygiene at times. Did you know if you turn your undies inside out, you can turn one pair into two pairs?! It's true.



Unless I'm compulsive about not being compulsive. Whoa..paradox....

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861561
mgross I saw the goatse man! 359 0
02/03/2004 06:26 PM

I have a pullup bar on my door. Every time I pass I HAVE to jump on it and swing around. My hands have blisters and mollases the size of Pamela Andersons boobs.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861637
Hollis with a twist of lime! 7,284 14
02/03/2004 09:07 PM

The comforter on my bed is striped. I CAN NOT sleep unless the stripes are going head-to-toe. If the blanket somehow shifts in the middle of the night, it wakes me up. I can feel it.



I'm just like that, except the opposite. My comforter is also striped, but I have to have the stripes horizontal or I can't even look at it, let alone sleep in it.



 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861638
Pakalolo 23,705 11
02/03/2004 09:09 PM

I have to stare at my Shakespeare before I flush. Honest to God cause I just did it.....

 

Hilarious 7 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861665
Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
02/03/2004 10:09 PM

I have to brag about how awesome I am ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME, but really I'm a fragile husk of a man with no real confidence.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861669
Dward...is a man of Mystery..Knight Rider 220 9
02/03/2004 10:17 PM

My house may be a mess cause i don't clean it....But when it comes to Work...I can't help but organize Everything....I've gone through Blockbuster at least twice a shift to put movies and games back in order....We had a bin that was supposed to be out of order....I really don't know why....but i still organized it...and then did it again....according to color....then by Producer of the movie....

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861670
Virnomine 79,386 11
02/03/2004 10:19 PM

I admit it, I have to stare at Eric's Shakespeare too.

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861672
Pakalolo 23,705 11
02/03/2004 10:20 PM

You only stare at it cause it's on your di....uh wait no that didn't come out....How bout them Patriots huh?.......ummmmm ok bye

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861684
Just Bunny 5,695 11
02/03/2004 11:03 PM

I am so obsessive compulsive that it would take about 50 posts to list all of my quirks, but the one that really gets me to the point of frantic is when there are empty hangers mixed in with my clothes. I always take them out and hang them in a separate part of the closet (in order of type), but if someone borrows something and I think for one moment that there might be a lone hanger blending in with my clothes, I have to check and make sure or I cannot sleep.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861727
Adrian, Trae's love clown. 13,341 13
02/04/2004 12:37 AM

I can't go more than 3 hours without cleaning my ears. I take Q-tips to work.



Brother! My long lost twin....

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861728
Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
02/04/2004 12:40 AM

I'm a big ear cleaner too. Nothing like an ear-gasm.

 

Side-splitting 22 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861771
Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
02/04/2004 02:29 AM

When I'm done taking a dump, as I flush I move the toilet seat lid up and down as I say in my toilet seat voice, "Thank you. That was scrumptious". If I don't, I fear the poo demons will get me. I do this at work, in public restrooms (you can imagine the looks I get as I walk out the stall in Penn Station), anywhere I take a dump.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861775
SpecialKake 55,555 14
02/04/2004 02:33 AM

I can't eat Tuna Fish ifd anyone's else's constructed it. Hey. . . .I've SEEN Zug before . . .why chance it?

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=861831
Virnomine 79,386 11
02/04/2004 08:35 AM

Beebs, I would pay you $20 for a video of that.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862027
My Brother is teh Gay 185,889 44
02/04/2004 12:49 PM

I am so Frosted.



I had no idea I was OCD, but I do almost all the things you guys have mentioned.



I get furious is someone in my household puts the t.p. on the hanger with the paper coming out from under instead of over. Will you marry me, Trae? I crack my ankle (only the left one, though) incessantly. I don't even need that rest period in between cracks that I need with my fingers.



I also compulsively pull my socks up and straighten them. God forbid one end of a shoelace is longer than the other.



Fingernails? Earwax? My dreaded enemies. Neat desk? Mine is near military. Every hair of my mustache is exactly the same length. Every sock, pair of underwear, sheet and towel in the house must be folded to my exact specifications.



Someone left a dish in the sink, or a crumb on my kitchen counter? Capital offenses!



My personal stuff has to be arranged just ever so in my pockets. Bills in my pocket (right front) must be perfectly folded together, with highest denominations on the inside of the roll, working their way out to the lower ones. Carmex tub and lucky penny go in that pocket as well. Left front pocket has keys and loose change, except if the quarter is one of those fifty state quarters - those go in the right pocket with the bills. Right rear pocket has credit card and drivers license, right rear has the pocketknife.



Coffee must come from Dunkin' Donuts, large, black. It must sit exactly 25 minutes in the foam cup to be the exact correct temperature to drink. I time this.



I'm beginning to realize why I never seem to get much done in a day. Time just flies by with all this crap. Enough already. I'm going to go shoot myself now.

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862042
Declan McManus: Master....Baker 131,869 36
02/04/2004 01:14 PM

He comes by it honestly. Morys McManus was loaded with OCD tics.



Dad was really particular about keeping our cars clean inside and out at all times.





Dad loved doing dishes. I don't. One of the best days in my life (so far) was the day we got our first dishwasher.



He was serious about ironed bed sheets. Fortunately, he was fine about sending them out to the commercial laundry/dry cleaner's.

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862057
Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
02/04/2004 01:35 PM

I must always apply lip balm before going to sleep.



I cannot eat unless I've washed my hands (or used some of that waterless alcohol based hand rub stuff).



TP and Paper Towels must dispense OVER or I have to change it.



Do not use the same knife or spoon in the peanut butter that you use for the jelly. My head will explode.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862082
My Brother is teh Gay 185,889 44
02/04/2004 01:51 PM

It's impossible to shoot yourself with a flintlock musket. The flash powder keeps spilling out of the pan.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862095
Declan McManus: Master....Baker 131,869 36
02/04/2004 01:57 PM

I am glad to hear that. I would miss my brother.

 

Hilarious 5 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862100
My Brother is teh Gay 185,889 44
02/04/2004 01:59 PM

I calmed my self by measuring and trimming my beard.

 

Hilarious 6 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862101
My Brother is teh Gay 185,889 44
02/04/2004 02:00 PM

And taking 150mg of Effexor.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862103
Lunchbox 14,650 10
02/04/2004 02:02 PM

i set my alarm. then i set my other alarm. then i go to bed, come to teh brink of sleep, and then I get up and check both alarms to make sure they are set 9 minutes apart.



true story.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862108
Declan McManus: Master....Baker 131,869 36
02/04/2004 02:06 PM

Better living through chemistry.





The real saying though is:



Better Things for Better Living-- Through Chemistry!

 

Side-splitting 9 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862114
TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/04/2004 02:14 PM

When I get out of my car, I have to look at my hand to make sure the keys are there. Then I put them in my pocket. My door is still open. I have to reach into my pocket to make sure they're still in there. Door still open. I pat the outside and jingle them to feel and hear that they are still there. Door still open. I step back as far as I can(in case the keys jump out of my pocket into the car) and then I close it. All this would make a lot more sense if I actually locked the doors on my car, but I can't bring myself to take that final step.

 

Hilarious 8 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862119
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
02/04/2004 02:21 PM

Whenever I go through the door of my office, I always have to touch the door frame. The problem with that is that the frame is metal, and I always get shocked by the static electricity.



Actually, that's not really a problem. It feels kind of tingly. I think I'll go walk trough my door again.

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=862176
Peccavi 2,263 10
02/04/2004 04:04 PM

Ugh. If toilet paper over/under (not betting) is the worst concern you guys have.... I'm in trouble.



- When walking on tiled sidewalks, I try to never walk in the same tile as someone else, hopping to a new tile if someone intrudes my tile.



- Whenever I see the name of a building (e.g. Sears Tower) I always immediately try to spell it backwards in my mind. Rewot Sraes!! Rewot Sraes!!



- I always listen to John Denver before I go on a cross-country flight. Then I play the song backwards, trying to undo the curse I just brought on myself.



- Each year at around September I always proclaim "The Chargers have a chance this year!"

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=873355
Pubah 56,794 18
02/19/2004 01:07 PM

I bash my wanker against the urinal 3 times whenever I pee



Shaking is not enough

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=873511
Pubah 56,794 18
02/19/2004 03:57 PM

I also pull my chest hairs compulsively



I used to pull the hair on my scalp, but it's gone now. Deforestation is REAL!

 

  2 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=873568
1-800-DIAL-A-HAMMERHEAD 59,399 14
02/19/2004 04:40 PM

Didn't we do this once before? Oh, Bob, tearing the labels off your beer bottle is a sign of sexual frustration.



I lock the door to my house, put the keys in my coat pocket. I walk to my car. I make sure that my keys are in my pocket. I reach for my keys to unlock the door. When I arrive at my destination, I pull my keys out of the ignition, I immediately put them in my coat pocket. I lock the door and shut it, making sure I have my keys in my pocket.



I also learned that there is a subtle way to check to see if my wallet is in my back pocket. I do this a couple times every time I get out of my car, or while I'm walking around a public place. I always do it when I have put my wallet in another pocket, just because it feels different when it's not in my back pocket. I remind myself that it's in my coat or whatever after I check to see if it's in my pants.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=873608
Pubah 56,794 18
02/19/2004 05:10 PM

<action>Pulls his chest hair while waiting for something funny to say</action>

 

Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=875633
Declan McManus: The Love of A Lifetime 131,869 36
02/23/2004 02:54 AM

Up until a few days ago, I was not the least bit obssessive about my fingernails.



I am now.



Love changes everything, and by love, I mean sex.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=875739
Pubah, Journeyman Sinner 56,794 18
02/23/2004 10:57 AM

I just finished eating mine...

AGAIN

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=875740
Dead Robot 67,630 16
02/23/2004 10:58 AM

Read the first essay in David Sedaris' "One Day Me Talk Pretty."



Thats some serious O...oh pretty!

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=875776
Jantastic 10,022 10
02/23/2004 11:35 AM

When this thread was first started, I thought it was funny that, for once, everyone was a bigger freak than me. And then I remembered the way I eat sandwiches.



First, I eat the crusts. Starting at the bottom left hand corner of the sandwich, I eat up the side, over the top, and down the other side, leaving the bottom crust intact. Then I eat the sandwich in horizontal rows, and I can't start a new row until the previous one is perfectly even. I usually wind up throwing the bottom crust part away.



I don't eat sandwiches in front of people very often.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=875830
moxie 9 9
02/23/2004 01:44 PM

Anywhere I go, I have to make sure that doors are either all the way open or all the way shut, because monsters come come through doors that are only a little bit open.

 

  1 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=875833
The Puggy of the D: Assholier than thou 48,304 12
02/23/2004 01:50 PM

I obsessively resurrect old threads.



Oh, wait, that's not me...

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=875972
Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
02/23/2004 03:57 PM

Does it totally Frost your head up to try to eat a Subway?

 

Hilarious 4 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=904935
Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
04/02/2004 12:46 AM

Excuse me, but that would fall under the category of "things that piss me off". See, people who post but don't login, that just pisses me off.



However, when I have to whisper all the words to Men At Works' mid-80'Shakespeare, "Who Can It Be Now" before I can answer the door, ever, that would be OCD.

 

Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=904984
8-pack slack gripper 1,768 12
04/02/2004 02:00 AM

Top 5:



1. I tie into a single knot any food bags once they are empty.



2. TP has to be "over" and I also change it if other people have it "under".



3. I always eat meal in this order: veg, starch and then meat.



4. All the icons on my desktop must line up horizontally and vertically.



5. I have no life.

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1079892
millie will bring the pies 116,984 28
11/13/2004 11:03 PM

Calm down people. It's only a mental illness if it totally takes over your life and affects your ability to be happy and earn a living and have relationships with other people.





But you are all kind of Frosted up, you know.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1079910
Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
11/13/2004 11:19 PM

Hey, I was funny four posts up seven months ago, you stingy bastards.



That, or the musical reference went over everyone's heads.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1079918
AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/13/2004 11:25 PM

When I have the oven on , I have to check 15 minutes to make sure one of the dogs did't sneek in it when I had it open.

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1079976
Gable Gobble 9,232 13
11/14/2004 01:37 AM

1) As with Spicey, blinking times on the microwave drive me nuts. PUSH CLEAR, DAMN YOU!



2) Along the same lines, blinking 12:00 on VCRs also piss me off.



3) Whenever I set my alarm clock, it has to be an even multiple of of fifteen minutes. None of this 'up at 7:03' Shakespeare.



4) Another numerical issue: In my vehicle there's a thermostat to set the temp, not just a little knob with red and blue. Has to be on multiples of 2 or 5. 68 and 65 degrees are fine; 67 is not.



5) A while back I would continually drive out of my driveway and as soon as I was out of sight of the house, I would think that I forgot to shut the garage door. I could usually overcome this with common sense in telling myself that I ALWAYS shut the garage door, but every once in a while I'd flip out, turn around and go back. Now I pull out, shut the door and make sure it's down before I drive off. Genius.



6) I can't knowingly let something by me that might be misspelled. I've got Mirriam Webster bookmarked and used it all the time while writing posts. (I just looked up 'misspelled'.) This means that there may be spelling and grammar errors here and there in my posts, but I generally catch them when I re-read my previews.



7) When I chat and send emails, I always use capitalization and punctuation. I don't mind when others let it slip while chatting, but when I get an email that's one giant paragraph with no capital letters, I want to shoot the person.



8) I often find myself in retail establishments standing at the counter, rearranging displays to make sure things are in nice, even rows.



9) When presenting several bills to a cashier, I always make sure they're all facing the same direction.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080037
I got Chit to be thankful for 178,742 15
11/14/2004 07:07 AM

Sarah,



You might be fine if you just get rid of the suicidal dogs.







Either that, or take their food bowl out of the oven. Dogs are just fine with cold food.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080038
AussieSarah 8,390 9
11/14/2004 07:18 AM

Sarah,

You might be fine if you just get rid of the suicidal dogs.

Either that, or take their food bowl out of the oven. Dogs are just fine with cold food.




Food bowl OUT of th oven ? Yeah , that might work !

Or I could give them prozac .

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080040
I got Chit to be thankful for 178,742 15
11/14/2004 07:34 AM

Pet therapy maybe ?



(might get to meet Paris Hilton)



Have you ever found one in there ?



Or is it just like "Did I leave the iron on?" sort of thing ?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080071
Phla Mignon-dairy creamer 131,064 34
11/14/2004 10:04 AM

Alright kids, you know I don't get defensive often, so I've decided to give you a little taste of what it would be like.



What you guys are saying is basically the equivalent of "Oh sometimes I curse, maybe I have Tourettes" or "I have a headache, it's probably brain cancer." I'm not telling you to stop in your little ignorant fun, I'm just handing out some free ejumacational pamphlets.



And millie, that was probably the smartest thing I've ever heard you say.



Please resume the hilarity.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080075
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
11/14/2004 10:12 AM

My Abnormal Psychology professor said that you can have all the symptoms of a disorder, but it's only a disorder if it bugs you or bugs someone else.



He also showed us how to hypnotize people. I'm hypnotizing you right now.



Now just relax.



You're feeling very calm.



Breathe deeply.



In



and out.





In



and out.





You're taking of your blouse now.





Very relaxed.



Now the bra.

 

Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080077
Phla Mignon-dairy creamer 131,064 34
11/14/2004 10:15 AM

DAMMIT SPICEY! I pay $300 a week for that and I coulda had it here for free?!



...now the pants?

 

Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080078
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
11/14/2004 10:19 AM

No. Now the shoes. Then the pants.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080081
I got Chit to be thankful for 178,742 15
11/14/2004 10:36 AM

He would have had to first, hypnotize me into attending class.





Usually too busy being hypnotized into going to get a 12 pack.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1080100
dropkick brody 43,090 12
11/14/2004 12:03 PM

I clean my nails about twice an hour with anything to hand, the sharp end of a compass, a paperclip,a needle etc.



I also (have mentioned this one before) can't watch the light on my mobile phone go out in the dark. It freaks the hell outta me.



And then of course theres the switching of the light switch on and off 22 times before I leave the room, but that ones normal right? RIGHT?



*twitches*

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1081436
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
11/16/2004 01:51 PM

TP has to be over, I change it everywhere I go



So you're the one! TP goes under, dammit! You mess with my TP again and I'll cut you, I swear!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1081458
NorthWestSouthEast ... Where was i going? 32 8
11/16/2004 02:16 PM

Everything has to be symmetrical. One time a hubcap fell off of my car so I had to pull over on the way to work to take the other one off.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1081459
NorthWestSouthEast ... Where was i going? 32 8
11/16/2004 02:17 PM

-Special Note-

I have also taken off the hubcaps of my girlfriends car so that they are symmetrical

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1081469
New_turKey_Baster 76,490 10
11/16/2004 02:27 PM

I do the symmetrical thing too.oot gniht lacirtemmys eht od I