Frou Frou Secsi Dragon Lady 156,785 17
02/26/2004 10:45 AM

Should I kill you now or torture you a bit first?

Kellogg's Porn Flakes 3,943 11
02/26/2004 10:49 AM

Now, please.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
02/26/2004 11:11 AM

What did Justin Timberlake say to Britney Spears after her wedding?



"Nice one, slut!"

Fan of the Freaky 117 9
02/26/2004 11:13 AM

If a man is walking through a forest and says something aloud with no woman around to hear him....is he still wrong???

Scotty Snuggleduck 5,349 10
02/26/2004 11:21 AM

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?





Stick a javelin through it's head.





testeless....

Godot 15,434 11
02/26/2004 11:27 AM

Mushroom walks into a bar.



Bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."



Mushroom says "Why not I'm a fun-gi."

diablos 380 9
02/26/2004 11:27 AM

''testeless''



Tasteless? Or the baby is a girl? Or a teste less boy? Is this one of those jokes that I never understand?

DemoMonkey, a newbs best friend. Now in Pine! 166,252 10
02/26/2004 11:51 AM

What's the difference between savings bonds and men?



















Bonds mature.

Godot 15,434 11
02/26/2004 11:58 AM

Pubah walks into a bar with a parrot on his head.



Bartender says "Where'd you get it"



Parrot says "Africa! There's millions of 'em."

Dead Robot 67,630 16
02/26/2004 11:59 AM

Like Sean Connery?

Fratberry 282,615 53
02/26/2004 12:01 PM

If a man and woman get married in Tennessee, move to Kentucky and then get divorced, are they still legally cousins?

Godot 15,434 11
02/26/2004 12:03 PM

A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see

a small boy selling lemonaide.



Priest says, "How'd you like to Frost that?"



The lawyer replies, "Out of what?"

Dead Robot 67,630 16
02/26/2004 12:03 PM

What do you get when you stick a knife in an infant?



An erection.

DemoMonkey, a newbs best friend. Now in Pine! 166,252 10
02/26/2004 12:15 PM

Dead Robot



It will take a thousand years for the light emitted by "good taste" to reach you.











You are the wind beneath my wings.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
02/26/2004 12:16 PM

Chew my diseased ass!

DemoMonkey, a newbs best friend. Now in Pine! 166,252 10
02/26/2004 12:18 PM

You toss salad with that mouth?

Dead Robot 67,630 16
02/26/2004 12:20 PM

Here's a topical one for Gay Mel Gibson lovers:



Why did Jesus die on the cross?



He forgot the safe word.

Fratberry 282,615 53
02/26/2004 12:22 PM

<action>thinks old, bad joke would be good here</action>

Why did they bury Rock Hudson face down in his grave?





So all of his friends could drop by and have a cold one.

Frou Frou Secsi Dragon Lady 156,785 17
02/26/2004 12:24 PM

Hear the joke about the 3 guys who walked into the bar? A fag, a pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.....





...and that's just the first guy!

DemoMonkey, a newbs best friend. Now in Pine! 166,252 10
02/26/2004 12:29 PM

Supplies!

Moss 4,125 10
02/26/2004 12:31 PM

A blonde walks into the dry cleaners to get her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk "How much?"



The clerk, a bit hard of hearing, does not hear her and responds "Come again?"



The blonde says "PLEASE LET ME DIE THIS JOKE ISN'T EVEN THAT FUNNY!"

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
02/26/2004 12:35 PM

a dyslexic man walk into a bra

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
02/26/2004 12:59 PM

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Chance teh Cheater 171,270 14
02/26/2004 01:17 PM

do you know what dyslexic means? It would be Rab you tard.

arkansassy 291 10
02/26/2004 01:49 PM

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken lights up a cigarette and says, "Well, I gues that answers that question, doesn't it."

Reggie Bush 103 9
02/26/2004 01:54 PM

A cowboy, a negro and an native american are at the bar. The Indian says, once my people were many...now they are few. The negro says, once we was few...now we be many. To that the cowboy replies, Yeah well we aint played cowboys-n-nigga's yet

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
02/26/2004 02:01 PM

A guy pops a few viagra, planning to show his wife a really good time. The she calls and says "sorry John, I have to work late tonight."

He doesn't know what to do, because he's heard that the viagra can cause irreversable penis damage. So he heads down to the local cat house.

WHen he gets there, the guy at the door says "sorry dude, all my girls are busy. Can you wait for a while?" He says "no way, I'm really desperate! Isn't there someone available?"

"Well, there is one. But she's pretty old. And a bit freaky."

John says "god, I don't care, just tell me where she is."

So the guy tells him where to go and he runs up the stairs and bursts into the room. In the room there was an old lady in a bed with those sidebar things to keep her from falling out. She looked like she was about 150 years old and 99% dead.

She looked up and said "listen sonny, I'm not as spry as I used to be, so what I'm gonna do is pop my glass eye out and you can stick your willy in there. That way I don't have to call the nurse to help me get undressed."

John says "sure, sure, whatever."

She does, and he does.

After, as he's getting dressed, he says, "damn, that was pretty good. Maybe I'll come back some day."

The old lady says "ok sonny. I'll keep an eye out fer ya!"

arkansassy 291 10
02/26/2004 02:05 PM

Q: Why don't witches wear panties?





A: They get a better grip on the broom.

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
02/26/2004 02:40 PM

How can you make a gay man scream twice?

Frost him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.

HighSoci 30,076 18
02/26/2004 02:41 PM

Why can't men catch mad cow disease?





Because we are Frost-ing pigs.

Fan of the Freaky 117 9
02/26/2004 02:43 PM

Why do they call it PMS?



Because mad cow disease was taken.

Crazyballs 11,888 10
02/26/2004 02:43 PM

Speak for yourself. I would never Frost a pig.



















Unless its in a dress.

DemoMonkey, a newbs best friend. Now in Pine! 166,252 10
02/26/2004 02:52 PM

A hundred million red chinese walk into a bar...

Crazyballs 11,888 10
02/26/2004 02:59 PM

Two white horses fell in the mud.

Pubah 56,794 18
02/26/2004 03:10 PM

Godot getShakespeare by an Amtrack. His slimy guts are spread over two miles of train tracks. Buzzards, rodents and maggots eat whats left of his abandoned carcass.



It may not be funny, but I'm laughing.

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
02/26/2004 03:19 PM

What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?























A fruit stand.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 03:19 PM

How do you fit 4 gay men on one barstool?



Turn it upside down.

Somewhat Hot....Dward is the Man with the Plan 220 9
02/26/2004 03:20 PM

whats harder than stapling 10 babys to a tree.....



Stapling one baby to 10 Trees.

Somewhat Hot....Dward is the Man with the Plan 220 9
02/26/2004 03:21 PM

what do you get when you have a Agnostic, Dyslexic, Insomniac.......



Someone whos up all night Pondering if there really is a Dog

studio 2,001 10
02/26/2004 03:27 PM

What is red and bubbly and scratches at the window?





A baby in a microwave.

Fratberry 282,615 53
02/26/2004 04:42 PM

TTJ,



Tell your Snoop Dogg joke. I'd steal it but I'm too nice a guy.



Yeah, that's it.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 04:44 PM

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?











Fo drizzle.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 04:45 PM

I only wish I remembered where I first heard that.

Fratberry 282,615 53
02/26/2004 04:48 PM

sweeeeet

HighSoci 30,076 18
02/26/2004 06:34 PM

I went to a biodegradable factory the other day, but it was gone.

Frou Frou Secsi Dragon Lady 156,785 17
02/26/2004 06:59 PM

I just told two of my black co-workers the Snoop Dogg joke. They laughed, then told me it was funny because I said it.

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
02/26/2004 07:13 PM

Hey I just got a full pee tube. Does that mean I win the contest. What do I get? Not a vagina t-shirt from kittuns I hope!

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 07:24 PM

For that full pee tube, Mookie is going to come over and Frost you hard in your ass. And then he'll wipe his dick on your curtains.

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
02/26/2004 07:32 PM

from what I have heard mookies dick won't reach the curtains

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 07:35 PM

He may not be posting, but he still lurks. He can and will find out where you live.

ziploc 36 9
02/26/2004 07:56 PM

Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 07:59 PM

Ziploc-if I put you in the freezer for 5 days, will you get freezer burn?

Chance teh Cheater 171,270 14
02/26/2004 08:04 PM

Ok am I wrong to think dyslexic people read the whole word backwards? Its just kinda akward that they would read only 2 letters of the word wrong. I think I am right, which means your an idiot. If I am wrong then I guess that makes me an idiot. I know someone can clear this up.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 08:05 PM

I think you're right, Chance. But you're both idiots.

Chance teh Cheater 171,270 14
02/26/2004 08:06 PM

toss my salad dick licker.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 08:08 PM

Come on Chance. You know I love you. You know that you're the GABber I think about when I masturbate.

ziploc 36 9
02/26/2004 08:08 PM

Nope, dyslexics may read the entire word backwards, or may just mix up letters. Typically they will mix up the same letters all the time.



But I will happily admit to being an idito.

ziploc 36 9
02/26/2004 08:10 PM

Freezer burn? Nah, I'm one of those new-fangled sure-lock dealies. S'why I'm so fresh.

Kittuns is a schizophrenic and so am I 24,428 11
02/26/2004 08:10 PM

<action>dry heaves</action>

You know that you're the GABber I think about when I masturbate.

















*vomits*

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 08:12 PM

Kittuns, me masturbating is not a vomit-inducing thing. And I don't really think of her. I just wanted to make her feel better. I'm not very good at this "play nice" thing.

Kittuns is a schizophrenic and so am I 24,428 11
02/26/2004 08:13 PM

Would you like to know more about my vagina?

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/26/2004 08:14 PM

Tell me, Kittuns. Do you like pineapple juice?

Kittuns is a schizophrenic and so am I 24,428 11
02/26/2004 08:17 PM

Why yes I do?

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
02/26/2004 08:21 PM

<action>posts randomly</action>

I can't believe I got fired just for doing extra work on my own at home. But I hated the mint anyway.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
02/26/2004 08:22 PM

No! Wait! By "contest" did you mean for best joke? Ignore my last post.

ziploc 36 9
02/26/2004 08:28 PM

What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind as it hits the windshield of your car?













It's arse.

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
02/27/2004 12:49 AM

what does snoop dogg use to keep his socks white?



bleeeotch.

Scotty Snuggleduck 5,349 10
02/27/2004 12:49 AM

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?



Quarter pounder with cheese.





What do you call four lepers in a hot tub?



Stew.





should I keep going?

HisBoyElroy 10,621 13
02/27/2004 01:03 AM

my roommate made this one up.



so this punch to the face walks into a bar, takes a seat and orders a beer. the bartender smiles, says "no problem" and pours him a beer.



then a kick to the groin walks into the bar. he sits down and requests a beer. without skipping a beat, the bartender pours him a beer too, smiling the whole time.



then a scorpion deathlock walks into the bar and takes a seat. "bartender, i'd sure like a beer." the bartender leers at him and replies "we don't serve your kind here."



the scorpion deathlock is taken aback. "what do you mean you don't serve my kind here?!" he asks incredulously.



the bartender glares coldly at him and replies "this is a no holds bar."

Somewhat Hot....Dward is the Man with the Plan 220 9
02/27/2004 01:24 AM

Whats so good about twenty Eight Year olds........Theres twenty of them (this is for you pedophiles out there)

ziploc 36 9
02/27/2004 04:05 PM

So this dude walks into a bar, sits down, and brings a tiny piano out of his pocket. He places it on the counter, and then to the barkeep's amazement, he proceeds to bring a small little foot-high man out of his pocket. The little man looks around, sees the piano, sits down and begins to play a beautiful melody.



"Where on earth did you get that?" exclaims the bar keeper.



"My genie in a lamp," responds the man, without much enthusiasm.



"That's incredible! Can I have a go?" asks the bar keeper.



So the man takes the lamp out of his bag and hands it to the barkeeper. He rubs the lamp, and out pops an old genie.



"Genie, I want a million bucks!"



Instantly, a million ducks appear in the bar.



"What the hell!?" screams the bartender. "I asked for bucks, not ducks! Your genie can't hear right!"



"Of course he can't." replies the man. "Do you honestly think I wished for a twelve-inch pianist?"

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/27/2004 04:07 PM

Wow, Zippy. That was so Frost-ing funny. I only wish I heard that a couple years earlier, so that the funny of that joke would have been with me.

ziploc 36 9
02/27/2004 04:24 PM

Oh, but the funny is with you. You are strong with the funny. Let the funny be your guide.

And oh yeah, don't shag Leia, she's your sister.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/27/2004 04:38 PM

The funny isn't with me, but the Scwartz is.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
02/27/2004 04:38 PM

And the Schwartz, too.

Mark Henderson 56 9
02/27/2004 04:40 PM

...i was going to post something but i just forgot what i was going to post

studio 2,001 10
02/27/2004 05:04 PM

A toothless termite goes into a bar and pounds on the bar and says "Is the bar tender here?"

studio 2,001 10
02/27/2004 05:08 PM

A man goes to work in a mine with a new shovel, he comes back out after 8 hours of work with a stick, a bystander asks "Hey! where's you shovel?" witch he replies "Sure does!"

studio 2,001 10
02/27/2004 05:11 PM

Same man goes to the zoo. He sees the zebras, the monkeys, the snakes and all the rest, when he happens apon the camel's pen. curious, he walks up to the fence where there is a little sign that reads 'BEWARE Camel Spits'.

The man steps back and says "I am!"

droogie1 60 10
02/27/2004 05:23 PM

Alright...guess I'll add one.



Not only are we going to New Hampshire ... we're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and we're going to California and Texas and New York. And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then we're going to Washington, D.C. To take back the White House. Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!





Guess the joke's on Howard

DemoMonkey, a newbs best friend. Now in Pine! 166,252 10
02/27/2004 05:28 PM

I'll explain it for you.



It was a Democratic contenders campaign speech, that will not be coming true.



I said I could explain it. I didn't say I could make it funny.

studio 2,001 10
02/27/2004 05:39 PM

It's a toothles termite... how can he eat the bar, if it is not tender enough?



It sure does wear down my shouvel...



I am where the camel spits...







Hope that helps all the 'special' people.

studio 2,001 10
02/27/2004 05:40 PM

And by 'special' I don't mean those who can't spell shovel right.

sharribarri 14,124 11
03/04/2004 04:42 PM

TTJ, it is drizzling today here, and all I could think about was your "fo drizzle" joke. Unfortunately no one I work with would get it. Thanks for the smiles

Sexual Harassment Panda 181,718 70
03/04/2004 04:49 PM

Since this thread has been revived:



What to girls in Arkansas say after having sex?





























"Roll over daddy, you're crushing my Marlboros."

Chit4Brainz 178,742 15
03/04/2004 05:06 PM

How many men does it take to change the empty roll of toilet paper ?















No one knows !

HighSoci 30,076 18
03/04/2004 05:06 PM

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly, she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.



"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.



"They're mating," her father replied.



"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.



"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.



"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.



"Well, no," her father replied. "They are both Daddy Longlegs."



The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.



Her father looked puzzled and asked, "Why did you do that honey?"



The little girl looks up at him and says, "Well, that might be ok in California and New York, but we're not having any of that crap in Texas!"

TableTopJane 173,958 15
03/04/2004 05:18 PM

it is drizzling today here



Well, good for you. I however, am trapped. On one end of my street, there's a train that is stopped on the tracks. On the other end, the 70 mph winds just blew a store down. So now I can't get out. Stupid God, making weather and stuff.

godot 15,434 11
03/04/2004 05:48 PM

Jane - you are slowly becoming Lila v2.0.



Jane

Lane

Line

Lile

Lila

Bienvenidos a Lila 78,550 13
03/05/2004 10:52 PM

Godot, this crush you have on me really needs to stop.

Pubazilla,Thread Killa 56,794 18
03/06/2004 12:04 AM

Don't worry Dot. She said that to me too.



*Goes back to watching the Milkshake Video and wonders which one is DeLila*

TableTopJane 173,958 15
03/06/2004 12:57 AM

You should feel lucky, Lila. He turns all women he knows into you.

Bienvenidos a Lila 78,550 13
03/06/2004 01:11 AM

I let you know when I start feeling lucky for that reason, Jane.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
03/06/2004 01:16 AM

Lila, I turn all women into you, too. It makes it easier to lick their thingies. Cause I kinda think you're kewl. Does that make you feel special?

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
03/06/2004 01:20 AM

It makes me feel special.





Oh wait. I meant aroused.

PubzillaPants 56,794 18
03/06/2004 01:21 AM

<action>Pulls up a chair at the diner and waits for the Milkshake/Polaroid party to begin</action>



Lick what you like

TableTopJane 173,958 15
03/06/2004 01:22 AM

Spicaey, you're invited. Pubah, I'd invite you if it weren't for that whole "black" thing.

PubzillaPants 56,794 18
03/06/2004 01:25 AM

Nothing against Spicey Jane.

But when you're through 'playin' with toys, you'll be lookin for me.

Chessmaster BobJohnson 178,045 22
03/06/2004 01:26 AM

Why did the chicken cross half the road?



She wanted to lay it on the line.

Barefoot Chance 171,270 14
03/11/2004 03:28 PM

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.



"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked. "That's a Daddy

Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."



The little girl thought for a moment, then she stomped them flat and said "Well, it might be okay in California, Vermont, and New York, but we're not having any of that Shakespeare in Texas!

the Dude 152 9
03/11/2004 03:36 PM

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullShakespeare before



HA....HA

Barefoot Chance 171,270 14
03/11/2004 03:46 PM

OH Shakespeare! I am an idiot! I guess I should read the Frost-ing thread first.

Mines structured better anyways.

studio 2,001 10
03/11/2004 04:18 PM

A guy walks into a bar......and it hurt.



Two peanuts walk into a bar......one was a salted.



A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."



A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."



A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"



A dyslexic man walks into a bra.



A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says; "A pint for me please, and one for the road."



Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony was boring, but the reception was outstanding.



Daisy the cow: "I was artificially inseminated this morning"

Dolly the cow: "I don't believe you"

Daisy the cow: "It's true......no bull"

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
03/11/2004 04:40 PM

On their wedding night, a groom asks his new bride, "Honey, am I your first?"

She says, "Why does everyone ask me that?"



Dyslexics of the world UNTIE!

French Mailman 176,432 56
03/11/2004 04:54 PM

Best comeback line :



- Can I have your phone number ?

- Oh, it's in the phone book !

- But I don't know your name...

- That's in the phone book too.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
03/11/2004 04:57 PM

Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have dinner with.

studio 2,001 10
03/11/2004 05:08 PM

Women, you can't live with 'em, you can't kill 'em.

ringworm 68,315 13
03/11/2004 05:11 PM

says who?

TableTopJane 173,958 15
03/11/2004 05:13 PM

I used to love her

But I had to kill her

I used to love her

But I had to kill her

I had to put her six feet under

And I can still hear her complain

Ass clown 152 9
03/11/2004 06:30 PM

Whats the difference between a baby and a wee-wee?

































A wee-wee doesn't cry when you beat it.



Ha!

Shoes? Who needs Shoes?! 285 9
03/11/2004 06:44 PM

God made oceans,

God made lakes,

God made Men

Hey, we all make mistakes

godot 15,434 11
03/11/2004 06:50 PM

What do women and parking spaces have in common?



All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

HighSoci 30,076 18
04/23/2004 01:15 AM

A guy was outside one hot summer day drinking a cold beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. All of a sudden his nosey neighbor looks over at him and gets all pissed and rushes over to him. "You should be hung!" She yells at the guy. The guy calmly takes a drink from his cold beer, pulls his sunglasses down, smiles at the woman and says, "I am, why do you think she is mowing the grass."

sharribarri 14,124 11
04/23/2004 11:47 AM

How do you fix a woman's watch?





What does she need a watch for, there's a clock on the stove.

Misfit 1,104 10
04/23/2004 12:10 PM

How many women does it take to change a light-bulb?



None. Let the bitch cook in the dark.

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/23/2004 12:17 PM

two hillbillies get married.

after the reception, the father (uncle?) of the groom is sitting on the porch having a smoke.

the groom runs up the stairs, crying.

dad asks him why he's home on his wedding night when he should be enjoying his new bride.

son says because the bride told him she's a virgin.

dad says, "you did the right thing, son. if she's not good enough for her own family, she's not good enough for ours."

ButtercupBZ 24 10
04/23/2004 12:19 PM

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.



The demon asked, "Why so glum?"







The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"



"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"



"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."







"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"







The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."



"You a smoker?" the demon asked.



"You better believe it!"



"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"



"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"



The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."



"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."



"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"



The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ."



"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"

"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"



The demon said, "You gay?"

"No."

"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/23/2004 01:40 PM

A doctor tells his patient, "I've got some good news and some bad news.. But i'll start with the bad news of course."

He sits on the edge of the patients bed, "Now when you came in, you needed your left leg amputated.. our surgeons made a mistake and amputated the right. So.. now you have no legs..."

"Oh my god!" Exclaimed the patient, "What could there possibly be for good news?"

The doctor stands, "Well, the gentleman next door would like to buy your shoes."