Prank Email to Kraft
A comedy article
by MoDeL CiTiZeN  45  9
03/02/2004 11:02 PM 202 views
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It was about 4:00 am during finals week, and to distract myself I was reading ZUG's Outgoing Mail column. Rather than studying, I decided that writing some e-mail pranks of my own would be a more effective use of my time.
I looked in my pantry for something to eat and saw a box of JELL-O gelatin. I remembered that gelatin contained whale or something, so I went to the Kraft Web site and sent them the following:
Dear Kraft,
I recently bought a package of jello intending to make some jigglers. I started eating the jigglers until someone told me that they put parts of whale into the mix. I spit it into his face and vowed never to eat it again. I bought a 52 box package from Costco for 29 bucks (i eat alot) and now am stuck with 5 pounds of supposed baby whales. I am a vegetarian and eating fish is against my habits. I mean mammal. Anyways, I hope that Shamu will be protected from your company if you do indeed whale-hunt. (isn't that illegal?)
Thank You ,
Chris Schmelzer
It took them a month to respond, but it was well worth it. They didn't leave a name, but it was interesting nonetheless:
From: "Kraft - Online Team2" OnlineTeam2@Casupport.com
Subject: RE: Your Comment/Question
Date: Wed, 7 Jan 2004 17:50:37 -0500
Thanks for visiting our web site. We appreciate your interest in our gelatin. Gelatin is made from collagen, a protein that comes from animals used for food, like beef or pork.
Production of gelatin is under supervision of the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). During the manufacturing of gelatin, chemical changes take place so that the final product, the composition, and identity of the original material is completely
eliminated.
Because of this, gelatin isn't considered a meat by the United States Government.
Please add our site, http://www.kraftfoods.com/, to your bookmarks and visit
us again soon!
Well, I guess it isn't meat, but just a bunch of animal guts thrown in a broiler for two hours. Yum. I guess when people get collagen injections in their lips they better not be allergic to ham.
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Hilarious
8 votes
4.5
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14 Comments on "Prank Email to Kraft"
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0 votes
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Barefoot Chance 171,270  14
03/18/2004 03:04 PM
Mirst Mo Most!
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=893636
DemoMonkey, a newbs best friend. Now in Pine! 166,252 10
03/18/2004 03:19 PM
During the manufacturing of gelatin, chemical changes take place so that the final product, the composition, and identity of the original material is completely eliminated.
That doesn't sound kosher to me.
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=893685
No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
03/18/2004 03:52 PM
"...the composition, and identity of the original material is completely eliminated."
I now have the perfect way to get rid of all of my enemies!
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=893696
S1mpleton 373 9
03/18/2004 04:01 PM
In short, Jello ingredients:
Sugar, some form of animal peices that weren't even good enough for hotdogs, other parts swept from the killing floor and/or caught in the gears, red dye #2, artificial flavour, small percentage of natural flavour (0%)
mmm
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0 votes
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=893718
ringworm 68,315 13
03/18/2004 04:15 PM
there's always room for jell-o.
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spaghettios 0 9
03/18/2004 09:44 PM
wait, so if it isn't a meat, what the heck is it?
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Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
03/18/2004 10:25 PM
It's made of people!
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=893943
Dr. Crazyballs 11,888 10
03/18/2004 10:30 PM
<action>spits out jello shot
jello is PEOPLE?!?
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=893969
spaghettios 0 9
03/18/2004 11:12 PM
isnt that a song?
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=894001
Livewire 78,229 13
03/18/2004 11:46 PM
No, but it oughta be.
It oughta be.
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=894469
spaghettios 0 9
03/19/2004 03:03 PM
dude, hecka
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=894753
tomatopants 0 9
03/19/2004 07:27 PM
DUDE!!!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU!!!!!
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/live?func=new_user&msgid=895681
Trixxie teh Scientist 65,021 15
03/22/2004 10:00 AM
The part of the animal that makes gelitian is bone marrow.
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