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The Other Liberal Arts
A comedy article by Declan McManus: I love TableTopJaney 131,869 36
04/09/2004 08:29 PM 408 views

I went to a small, private, ridiculously expensive college. My B.A. is in Humanites/Arts.



The "liberal arts" are commonly considered to be disciplines such as English, history, languages, social sciences, theatre, music ... in other words, most of the fun stuff.



In other words: "Humanities/Arts" means, a major in English, a minor in European history, and whatever else appealed to me. Some religion, some social science. My two arts courses were "Music Appreciation," and "American Music Since 1900."



Now, we are at the riskiest time in America since the early 1970s.



The soul of the country is at stake.



Dissent is a dead/dying concept, much to my great distress. Obedience devoid of dissent is the road to fascism.



So, let's have some other definitions of the "liberal arts."



Utne for Dummies.


Utne, formerly Utne Reader, is The New Yorker of the "nuts and berries" crowd. Instead of ads for high end retail, (Lexus, Cole-Haan, Tiffany--) Utne's ads are for ecologically friendly cleaning products, all natural cotton washable menstrual pads, ecotours, and so forth.



The articles in Utne are thought provoking, and sometimes gentle. A recent issue had suggestions for improving voter turnout. One I liked was for Sunday voting. One I didn't like was for coupons for an alcoholic beverage after. (Yes, I don't drink, but that was not my true objection. My objection was more along the line of "yeah, and what would the substitute be?")



The saddest thing about Utne, as opposed to The New Yorker, is a lack of "drawings". Or, commonly, "cartoons."



Habitat for Humanity.



Yes, I know that people from all political views volunteer for Habitat, but this is very lefty, so shut up already. When I had more money, but not much free time, I gave money. I've signed up through my church for an upcoming local project.



HighStyle Coffee.



Not just becoming a regular at StarFROST's, but becoming a full time coffee bore. Not just having a Braun burr grinder and a Krups auto drip pot, but also a Bodum press pot, a Gaggia espresso machine, and the correct cups and spoons for every concievable coffee beverage.



Random vegetarianism.


Eating huge amounts of dead cow is passé and well, just embarrassing. (At least in public.)



Competitive Wine.


This is about boutique vinyards that no one else has heard about, with organically produced wines. Who cares if they are essentially undrinkable?



Consumer Reports.


Yes, the product ratings are unbiased, and they have strict ethics about not accepting samples, or cash bribes from manufacturers. However, they have been talking about health care finance reform since I started reading Consumer Reports in 1967. To think that every American should have health care coverage and access is shocking, right?



I am sure there are other liberal arts.



One last thing-- Volvos and Saabs are no fun anymore, ever since Ford controls Volvo, and GM Saab. The liberal-mobile of current choice? A Toyota Corolla. Or Camry. Not the Land Cruiser.

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14 Comments on "

The Other Liberal Arts

"



  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923184
Me Spicey. You Jane. 117,736 36
04/23/2004 05:37 PM

What about the Toyota Prius? Or the Honda Insight? Those are pretty liberal-friendly, I think.



The president of my company drives a Prius. I think that's awesome since our customers are all in the Oil and Gas industry.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923261
Drenius 10 9
04/23/2004 06:32 PM

Ok..... you lost me at Humanites

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923263
Drenius 10 9
04/23/2004 06:33 PM

Is a humanite like a midget?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923265
Drenius 10 9
04/23/2004 06:33 PM

because I love midgets!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923269
Me Spicey. You Jane. 117,736 36
04/23/2004 06:35 PM

<action>tosses Drenius some lotion.</action>I think you know what to do with it.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923275
Mr_PeaCH 253 9
04/23/2004 06:36 PM

OH, THE HUMANITIES!



</Hindenburg guy>

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923276
Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
04/23/2004 06:37 PM

I think it is a stone made from humans...



"Oh Charles, a Humanite ring, you shouldn't have!!"

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923290
Dead Robot 67,630 16
04/23/2004 06:43 PM

I get it! "America is dying! By a Toyota!"

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923299
Me Spicey. You Jane. 117,736 36
04/23/2004 06:48 PM

Does the Humanites course cover Ultra-Humanites?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923309
Declan McManus: The ice in Lila's sweet tea 131,869 36
04/23/2004 06:53 PM

I can see I have underwhelmed you.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923320
Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
04/23/2004 06:59 PM

You made me slightly damp, you'll always have that...

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923364
8-pack slack gripper 1,768 12
04/23/2004 07:24 PM

"i" before "e" except after "c"



You're welcome.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923784
Whistler P. McManus 185,899 44
04/24/2004 11:28 AM

Just for the sake of being argumentative (what are siblings for, anyway?) I'll submit that dissent is as alive right now as it has been since before Nixon left office.



Been listening to Air America? Reading Juan Cole?



Frost the Starbucks drinking, Toyota driving, wine drinking Utne reading liberals. Give me a progressive on public transportation with a Daily News and a can of beer in a brown paper bag.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=923817
Bonky 75,728 15
04/24/2004 03:13 PM





I'm finishing another humanities course right now. It's swell.



This summer, it's all about more peeners and pipe bombs! GO LIBARTS!