Declan McManus: The ice in Lila's sweet tea 131,869 36
04/15/2004 01:44 AM

Lost? Lost?



I merely misplaced it, dearie.

High Priestess of Stewie 58,741 29
04/15/2004 01:45 AM

What an improper thread! Most intersting!

BobJohnson, Tiger Trainer Extraordinaire 178,045 22
04/15/2004 01:46 AM

Let's see. . . the first time on Earth. . .



Oh, yes. I was 17 years old (Earth years) and very drunk. I'm pretty sure I lasted one minute.

erykahbadu 1,156 9
04/15/2004 01:47 AM

I think that most people are drunk when they have sex for the first time. It's a prerequisite...or something of that nature.

The Llama-☼-nator 7,194 10
04/15/2004 01:48 AM

I think I remember you... You're every boy at my school.

PuggyD 48,304 12
04/15/2004 01:57 AM

<action> weeps </action>

g☻d☻t 15,434 11
04/15/2004 02:13 AM

...prison

erykahbadu 1,156 9
04/15/2004 02:23 AM

...church.

Gingerbread Coffin 8 9
04/15/2004 02:30 AM

guess not many people admit to accidental virginity loss... but it happens .. I'm sure... there's a lot of clumbsy people out there..

Mr.Glass: The World's First Smartmonaut 25,340 11
04/15/2004 02:32 AM

I left it in my other pants!



Badum PSHH!

Mr.Glass: The World's First Smartmonaut 25,340 11
04/15/2004 02:33 AM

<action>beats himself to a bloody pulp with a wok</action>



All wok and no play make Mr.Glass tender.

Pubah, Dead to Himself 56,794 18
04/15/2004 04:30 AM

I gave mine away...but that information is gonna cost ya

Neep, have a hoppy easter. Hoppity. Hop. Shoot me. 35,066 15
04/15/2004 06:31 AM

Get that damn song out of my head.

BeebopaloobopawopbamStoat 9,077 10
04/15/2004 07:02 AM

How did everybody lose their virginity?



I had sex. What a Frost-ing stupid question.

TableTopJane 173,958 15
04/15/2004 09:11 AM

It's not like I woke up one day and said "oops! Where did my virginity go?"

And I wasn't drunk, I was young and in love. And it hurt. A lot.

csme 15,189 12
04/15/2004 10:13 AM

I was 17, on the beach, guy named David did the deed.



He didn't know I was a virgin - don't know if that's good or bad...

Jantastic 10,022 10
04/15/2004 11:03 AM

I was 20. Yes, go ahead and laugh. Better now? We were just friends. His roommate may have been in the room sleeping. It was only mildly uncomfortable--not nearly as bad as I'd expected.



He posts here occasionally.

Whistler P. McManus 185,899 44
04/15/2004 11:14 AM

I was 15. A German exchange student molested me. I didn't even realize the significance until later. During the 3 years it took me to get laid again.

Aimless stays crispy in milk!! 54,807 10
04/15/2004 01:46 PM

I was 17 and I swear to god that sheep was giving me the eyes. He wanted it. Everyone knows "Baaaa" means yes.



There was magic in the barnyerd that night.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/15/2004 01:48 PM

I lost my virginity by putting my penis into a girl's vagina until it exploded.

The Mailman 176,432 56
04/15/2004 01:50 PM

"until it exploded"



the penis, or the girl's vagina ?

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/15/2004 01:51 PM

The very definition of sex, I am that good.

csme 15,189 12
04/15/2004 01:51 PM

The Mailman delivered!

piXXXie 5,871 11
04/15/2004 01:56 PM

I was 18 and it was the 4th of July...however, please be assured there were no proverbial "fireworks". It was with my best friend's uncle in her grandparents living room. Could we please talk about uncomfortable??? The realization that his 'member' was comparably sized to a vienna sausage wasn't the only disappointment. I vowed to never have sex with an uncle again...

Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
04/15/2004 01:59 PM

Ha! piXXXie's an uncle Froster.

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
04/15/2004 02:02 PM

I don't remember, i was really drunk at the time (queue Dark Side of the Moon). I kept opening my eyes to find her doing different things to my body.

Kittunchops 24,428 11
04/15/2004 02:09 PM

My first time was not my choice.



My second first time I did it with a guy on the floor of a bathroom after we got out of the hot tub.



I was soaked from the hot tub so every time he pushed in, my back would press flat against the floor. Upon pulling out, my back would arch, creating a suction and...

SLLLLLORRRPPP!

FFFFFFFIIIIIIIIII

SLLLLLORRRRRPPPPP!

FFFIIIII



When I was 15, it was a very good year...

Lizzie Borderline 4,212 10
04/15/2004 02:14 PM

i didn't even tell the guy that I was a virgin. I figured I was destined for a life of meaningless sex, anyways.

Corky, Misunderstood Genius 0 9
04/15/2004 02:32 PM

I was 17, in the basement of my girlfriend's church. Yes, if I believed in Hell .. I would definately be headed there.



P.S. She didn't even know I was a virgin. /stud

csme 15,189 12
04/15/2004 02:42 PM

Masturbating doen't count as "losing your virginity".

Punkin 3,585 11
04/15/2004 04:38 PM

It was 6 months to the day after I turned 16, Christmas Eve. I thought sleeping with him would make him stay, I think I saw him twice after that. I shaved, wore cute panties, he was hung like a toddler and lasted about 4 seconds. I like to refer to the debacle as "The Vicious Pie-Stabbing".





Do any of y'all ever want to go back and sleep with the first person you ever slept with, just to show 'em you got better?

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/15/2004 04:42 PM

I wouldn't even give her the time of day, knowing what my potential for hot poon really is. At the time, I went with a sure thing. Meaning, a not-so-attractive slut.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
04/15/2004 04:44 PM

Yup and I did.



I got drunk with this guy, Mitch, when I was 13 and we messed about a bit. On a couple of weekends. Sometimes he would start it, sometimes I would. Fade to black.



When I was 20, I met an aquaintence from high school in a gay bar and we got to be good friends. One night he confessed how Mitch would beat the crap out of him all through high school. I told him that Mitch was my cherry master and with that, we both travelled back to Brockville, found Mitch in a bar, cornered him and made a point of mentioning that HE sucked MY dick a few times. He nearly beat the crap out of me, but it was worth seeing his face as he recognized both of us.



Revenge is a dish best served Flambe!

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/15/2004 04:47 PM

Man, I thought that was going to turn into a hot gay threesome story.

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/15/2004 04:49 PM

Ted, I know I would like you in real life.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
04/15/2004 04:49 PM

Dear Penthouse,



I never thought this would happen to me but I was going to my high school reunion when all of this went down...

ringworm 68,315 13
04/15/2004 04:51 PM

her name was lola. she was a showgirl w/ yellow ribbons in her hair and a dress cut down to there.

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/15/2004 04:52 PM

Did you meet her in a club down in old Soho where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Coca Cola?

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/15/2004 04:54 PM

I've told this story like three times on Gab, so here's the cliff notes version:

After years of dry humping and oral:



1. Week at beach after graduation.

2. Mon: A girl from concert choir who had been after me all year.

3. Tue: Another girl from same cabin.

4. Wed: A girl friend's mother who was suppposed to be chaperoning (Gin always makes me think of her.)

5. Th: Monday night's girl again.

6. Fri: I had to leave Myrtle Beach cause boyfriend of above mentioned girl friend (the mother one) was cruising up and down the beach with 4 of his football buddies looking to kill me for nailing the mom.



I may have started slow on the penetration thing, but I did my best to make up for it that week.

Dead Robot 67,630 16
04/15/2004 04:55 PM

I aplaud you.



And I do mean clap.

ringworm 68,315 13
04/15/2004 05:03 PM

Did you meet her in a club...



you too? that slut said i was her first.

Frou Frou 156,785 17
04/15/2004 05:12 PM

I was 18.

It was in a car.

"Like a Virgin" was playing on the radio.



I took my $15 and went home.

Hostile Environment Panda 181,718 70
04/15/2004 05:13 PM

4. Wed: A girl friend's mother who was suppposed to be chaperoning (Gin always makes me think of her.)



"Oh, Stiffler's mom!!"

csme 15,189 12
04/15/2004 05:30 PM

MILF!

Mizz Swizz 3,957 10
04/15/2004 06:00 PM

I was 16, it was in his aunt's spare bedroom, and it was good. Perhaps if it had hurt I wouldn't have been such a slut.

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/15/2004 06:03 PM

Frou Frou



4/15/2004 4:12 pm [7qV36NZ8QzoKkQHvmPo7WA]





I was 18.

It was in a car.

"Like a Virgin" was playing on the radio.



I took my $15 and went home.



And her daddy drove.

Briham 38,843 10
04/15/2004 06:19 PM

Ummm, does it count if it's a dead person?

SuperPooper 60 9
04/15/2004 06:26 PM

Well I fell in love and did what I guess all young couples do... We invited three of her hot friends over and had an orgy all night. We broke up shotly after.





We were drunk also.

Frou Frou 156,785 17
04/15/2004 06:29 PM

Comedy (yellow) Gold!!

Mr.Glass: The World's First Smartmonaut 25,340 11
04/15/2004 08:47 PM

Are you still a virgin if it didn't fit?



I mean, the inclination was there, just not the physical means...

Felix 2,568 10
04/15/2004 09:01 PM

I had just turned 18 and was in Amsterdam. she was a pretty young window girl, only 18 or 19 herself. it was a cool rainy night, we agreed to a price. she was wonderful. I decided to marry her right then and there. when I wouldn't leave her pimp came in and pulled a gun on me. I left broken hearted. I believe she is now Queen Julianna of the Netherlands.

Whistler P. McManus 185,899 44
04/16/2004 01:35 AM

Do any of y'all ever want to go back and sleep with the first person you ever slept with, just to show 'em you got better?



Sadly, 27 years later I'm not really all that sure I've gotten any better.

Punkin 3,585 11
04/16/2004 01:51 AM

I wouldn't even give her the time of day, knowing what my potential for hot poon really is. At the time, I went with a sure thing. Meaning, a not-so-attractive slut.





If nobody slept with not-so-attractive sluts, I'd still be posting things like, "Well, I'm sure it'll happen someday". God bless you, sir.

erykahbadu 1,156 9
04/16/2004 01:54 AM

The guy I slept with lived in my residence hall at school. I had to avoid eye contact with him everytime I had to go outside to smoke. He was mysteriously there every time.

ringworm 68,315 13
04/16/2004 01:55 AM

are you sure it wasn't just some homeless guy who liked to hang around the dorms?