Wrong Effin Number Bub.........
A comedy conversation
by Jujube monkey  23,705  11
04/20/2004 10:52 AM 398 views
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We just moved into a new house and had to get a new phone number. Apparently we got the phone number of a business that recently moved out of town, unbeknownst to the public. So everyday for the past three weeks we have received at least forty calls a day. My patience has run out and I have been using different approaches to answer these calls.
Me: T to the Frost-ing J tuxedo rentals
Caller: Uh...I was calling for T&J tuxedos, have I called the right place?
Me: Wassup player! How can I help you stunta?
Caller: Click
Success
Me: JJ's Jugs for Drugs, if you got the boobies then we got the doobies!
Caller: Click
Me: Hello T&J Dildo repair service
Caller: This isn't T&J tuxedo?
Me: Can I get the make and model of your dildo?
Caller: Uh this isn't the tux shop?
Me: No do you have a broken dildo or are you just inquiring purchasing one through our twenty four hour secure shopping network online?
Caller: Click
Me: (Talking like a Gay man) Hello T&J Tuxedoooooo
Caller: Hi I need to rent a tuxedo
Me: Ok could I ask a few questions about your build so I can make sure I have the right suit for you?
Caller: Sure
Me: Ok, what is your waist and Coleridge length?
Caller: Excuse me?
Me: Uh....I meant Crotch length, sorry, I just got into a fight with my boyfriend, and he said I wasn't what he wanted so he dumped me for that man whore Angel that works at the Pottery Barn. He says I don't have an attractive Coleridge. If you come down to the store to pick up your suit would you look at my Coleridge and tell me if it's attractive?
Caller: Click
A couple times I actually took orders and gave them the address to the Adult bookstore where they could pick them up. My wife confronted me yesterday and asked if I had gotten any calls for a dildo repair shop.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
30 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919716
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919722
Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662  14
04/20/2004 10:56 AM
TJ's Morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em.
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Side-splitting
22 votes
5.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919731
Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/20/2004 11:01 AM
Me: Hello T&J Dildo repair service
Caller: JuJube?
Me: Mom?
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Jujube monkey 23,705 11
04/20/2004 11:03 AM
hahahahaha not funny
Ok maybe a little
But I don't think we installed a phone in her coffin
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Hilarious
15 votes
4.9
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919739
TTJane-You get what you get 173,958 15
04/20/2004 11:06 AM
<action>is probably about to make someone mad</action>
T@J's abortion clinic-You rape 'em, we scrape 'em.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919745
Chit4Brainz 178,742 15
04/20/2004 11:10 AM
Hmmmm,
Anything in So. Cal. that has the initials T.J. in the name is usually servin tacos y frijoles, and has midnight donkey shows !
(Tijuana)
You ever think of going into business ? Donkeys are cheap!
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.4
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919809
Jujube monkey 23,705 11
04/20/2004 11:57 AM
I knew it would not last long. The guy that owns T&J Tuxedo rentals just called my wife at home and wanted to know if she knew anything about directing his customers to a porn shop. I may need to take some time off of work.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919822
Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
04/20/2004 12:06 PM
If you get arrested, make sure you go down in a blaze of glory...
...or you could just piss yourself, cops hate that...
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919824
Fartpuppy 5,142 13
04/20/2004 12:07 PM
If you do piss yourself, make sure you piss yourself in the squad car, try to get it on the roof and everything
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=919826
Spicey McHaggis 117,736 36
04/20/2004 12:09 PM
Wrong Effin Number Bub
*SNIKT*
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=920041
Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/20/2004 02:10 PM
Eric, the guy who has that shop cannot do anything to you for Frost-ing up his business. "As far as I know, this is the new address" is a phrase you can become familiar with. You can answer your phone any damn way you please. If his customers don't get with the change, to Frost-ing bad. He needs to advertise the change, and you're not responsible for directing customers anywhere, despite his bitching. Keep posting your creative answering techniques. They're Frost-ing hilarious.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=920171
Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
04/20/2004 03:48 PM
By the way Eric, are you squatting in his old location or did you find a copy of the key to his store and slip in after he locks up at night?
You know, just because you sneak in there at night doesn't make it your home. You're going to jail, mister!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=920265
Snap, Crackle, Explode 948 9
04/20/2004 04:41 PM
Hmmm...
T&J's Bar. Happy hour 12:01 AM to 11:59 PM.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Jujube monkey 23,705 11
04/20/2004 06:10 PM
Honestly I thought you were smarter than that Lloyd. If I broke into his store, why the hell would I be answering his phone?
I don't think "Americas Dumbest Criminals" is still on the air.
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0 votes
0.0
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Pubah 56,794 18
04/20/2004 07:19 PM
Pick up the phone in a pseudo rage..."Don't call here any more woman, I said your filthin, foulin check's in the mail."
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0 votes
0.0
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Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
04/20/2004 07:27 PM
A kleptomaniac friend of mine in high school didn't answer the phone, but he did something just as dumb. He broke into a music store and was goofing around with the guy that was with him, pulling out his wallet pretending to pay for what they were going to take. Then they heard sirens, so he dropped everything in his hands, including his wallet, and ran.
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=920497
Toastfucker 74 9
04/20/2004 09:15 PM
"dominos pizza" in a spanish accent
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=920505
High Priestess of Stewie 58,741 29
04/20/2004 09:26 PM
During my senoir year in high school I got call after call from the army asking me if I wanted to join. It got to the point where they would just say, 'Hey is Christine there?' One day, I answered the phone and it was them, I burst into tears and said: 'I'm still in the wheelchaair from the wreck and the doctors are telling me I'll be blind forever! Quit calling me! *sob*'
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0 votes
0.0
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Mizz Swizz 3,957 10
04/20/2004 09:28 PM
I love that story.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
04/20/2004 09:28 PM
Blind and in a wheel chair, huh? Well, we can teach you to shoot using echolocation. And look at it this way-you won't care when a land mine blows your legs off.
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0 votes
0.0
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High Priestess of Stewie 58,741 29
04/20/2004 09:40 PM
Hey, they never called again!
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0 votes
0.0
/live?func=new_user&msgid=920552
Pubah 56,794 18
04/20/2004 10:53 PM
"Marine Recruiting Detatchment Six...We need just a few MORE good men...Huzzzah! How soon would you like to deploy to Iraq?
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