Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/21/2004 10:10 AM

....CORN? When did I eat Corn?!!!

butternuts 14,362 10
04/21/2004 10:14 AM

"...and then all the little children got cancer and died slowly and painfully, never having seen Disneyworld."

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
04/21/2004 10:16 AM

I wipe my dick off on the curtain, and it drives her crazy.

Jujube monkey 23,705 11
04/21/2004 10:21 AM

Aren't you glad I didn't say orange?

Bonky 75,728 15
04/21/2004 10:22 AM

WHO SHOT MY PAW?!

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
04/21/2004 10:22 AM

Amen.

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/21/2004 10:23 AM

player? I hardly knew her.

butternuts 14,362 10
04/21/2004 10:23 AM

"Ja! Beiherhund das oder die flipperwald gersput!"

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/21/2004 10:24 AM

....and the guy with the big dick was from Canada!





hahahahahahahahha

Jujube monkey 23,705 11
04/21/2004 10:26 AM

Chickens don't have Coleridges, they are Coleridges!

salvage semi-lurks 28,986 12
04/21/2004 10:26 AM

Then Mel Gibson says "I can see your house from here!"

Hostile Environment Panda 181,718 70
04/21/2004 10:28 AM

....so I bought her some gloves and a dildo, so if she didn't like the gloves, she could go Frost herself!

butternuts 14,362 10
04/21/2004 10:29 AM

NICE BELT!

Fratberry 282,615 53
04/21/2004 10:29 AM

'Cuz he's the bastard that ran over my frog!

Knewt the Cute Noiseless Mute 159 10
04/21/2004 10:29 AM

Then Mel Gibson says:

"now you stay on that cross, mister!"

Jujube monkey 23,705 11
04/21/2004 10:29 AM

JacobPants

Toonces 514 10
04/21/2004 10:30 AM

I'll have a Coke!

Hostile Environment Panda 181,718 70
04/21/2004 10:30 AM

SUPPLIES!!



/overdone

Knewt the Cute Noiseless Mute 159 10
04/21/2004 10:38 AM

please stop it, mr. timberlake.

youre hurting me!

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
04/21/2004 10:39 AM

No, but i've been blown ashore many times.

KChiki 127,991 98
04/21/2004 10:56 AM

I once had a guy tell me that at a picnic!

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
04/21/2004 11:04 AM

Holy Shakespeare, a talking muffin!

MonkeyFun 620 10
04/21/2004 11:14 AM

The horse has a steering wheel!

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
04/21/2004 11:16 AM

Arrrrr, it be drivin' me nuts!

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
04/21/2004 11:20 AM

Then Karen exclaimed, "That's not my belly button!"

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
04/21/2004 11:21 AM

...well, i don't remember what the penguin said, but it was really funny.

Dirty Dan 43 9
04/21/2004 11:21 AM

..... and it was a mircle from God, a pizza flew out the window





ewwwwwwwwy

csme 15,189 12
04/21/2004 11:27 AM

Watch this...

$pe¢iª£ þrøwnie$ ­­® 339 9
04/21/2004 11:32 AM

No, I said a tall chick....

Bankey 70,843 10
04/21/2004 11:35 AM

...Do you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?

PuggyD 48,304 12
04/21/2004 11:38 AM

Well not at present, but I can really see you pushing maximum density.

csme 15,189 12
04/21/2004 11:42 AM

mynutzinyourface

godot 15,434 11
04/21/2004 11:46 AM

I'm looking for the man that shot my paw cause he's a frayed knot.

Hostile Environment Panda 181,718 70
04/21/2004 11:48 AM

Orange you glad I didn't say banana??

No_Key_Bandit 76,490 10
04/21/2004 11:49 AM

How tall are you?

Scratchy 2,750 12
04/21/2004 11:52 AM

Cowboy: No, but it sure keeps you from licking your lips.

butternuts 14,362 10
04/21/2004 11:54 AM

"Because it says on your ass you died in 1893."

Fartpuppy - Now turning girls into lesbians 5,142 13
04/21/2004 11:55 AM

Then mynutzinyourface graduated from highschool to become an outstanding citizen.

csme 15,189 12
04/21/2004 11:58 AM

Hey Farthead, that was my joke:



Who graduated from highschool to become an outstanding citizen?



Watch it bud!

godot 15,434 11
04/21/2004 12:00 PM

The derivation of the Born rule that we shall present is independent of decision theory, independent of the interpretation of probability, and independent of any assumptions about the measuring process...

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
04/21/2004 12:01 PM

Nice belt.

csme 15,189 12
04/21/2004 12:02 PM

Fartberry -



Farthead is a term of endearment!

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/21/2004 12:03 PM

".. i saw the last guy coming back with watermelons!"

Zaphod Beeblebrox 31,599 13
04/21/2004 12:08 PM

You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish.

Bonky 75,728 15
04/21/2004 12:14 PM

Her face looks Zachary like her butt.

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/21/2004 12:15 PM

4. Profit!

csme 15,189 12
04/21/2004 12:38 PM

Her face looks Zachary like her butt



You can't even tell a punchline! It's -



Your face look Ed Zachary like your ass!

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
04/21/2004 12:43 PM

And that's why panda sauce is good on everything!

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
04/21/2004 12:48 PM

Move over girls, I've got to gargle.

still icefts, but not a man 2,131 10
04/21/2004 12:50 PM

And THAT's when he said, "Frost the black jews!"

BeebopaloobopawopbamStoat 9,077 10
04/21/2004 12:52 PM

"Because i'm a bear!!!"

KChiki 127,991 98
04/21/2004 12:53 PM

"One in the driver's seat, one in the passenger seat, and 16 in the ashtray!"

something clever 386 10
04/21/2004 02:45 PM

Well i dont remember how it ends but it turns out they were Siegfried and Roy.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/21/2004 02:53 PM

but it turns out they were Siegfried and Roy.

I saw that episode last night!

sharribarri 14,124 11
04/21/2004 02:56 PM

So the stone was rolled away, Jesus saw his shadow and thats why we have 6 more weeks of baseball.

Briham 38,843 10
04/21/2004 03:38 PM

voodoo Coleridge my ass!





I didn't cum on the apple before I ate it.







The first thing he saw was her glass eye on the table.







I don't have a ferrarri in my garage

Declan McManus: The ice in Lila's sweet tea 131,869 36
04/21/2004 03:58 PM

Because I stick my arm up other men's bums.

psychaholic, a bear of very little peen. 4,888 13
04/21/2004 04:01 PM

And that's why icecream doesn't melt.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/21/2004 04:03 PM

To get to the other side.

I.B.Syndrome 385 9
04/21/2004 04:05 PM

those aren't pillows!



*from planes trains and automobiles

BobJohnson, Tiger Trainer Extraordinaire 178,045 22
04/21/2004 04:13 PM

"That ain't Tang."

I.B.Syndrome 385 9
04/21/2004 04:26 PM

The Pope, mining equipment and a very angry beaver.

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
04/21/2004 04:37 PM

And the guy says, "Yeah, but he Shakespeare in my pants too!"

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
04/21/2004 04:47 PM

I'm pregnant.

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/21/2004 04:56 PM

...I believe one of 'em's from Arkansas.

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/21/2004 04:59 PM

...I'm dying, not trying to get laid!

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/21/2004 05:04 PM

... No, no, nurse. I asked you to prick his boil.

something clever 386 10
04/21/2004 05:06 PM

But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in.

something clever 386 10
04/21/2004 05:12 PM

"Bill Cosby, see you next Tuesday!"

something clever 386 10
04/21/2004 05:13 PM

Slap! im Rick James bitch!

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/21/2004 05:14 PM

...now you say "control freak, who?" Hurry!

something clever 386 10
04/21/2004 05:21 PM

Control freak who?

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/21/2004 05:23 PM

oh sorry.... its the punchline for a knock-knock joke.... get it?

Hostile Environment Panda 181,718 70
04/21/2004 05:24 PM

...it's working! It's not bigger yet, but it's turning black!!

something clever 386 10
04/21/2004 05:27 PM

Yeah I know... I was just doing what it said.

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/21/2004 05:28 PM

...yes suh! Miss Baby was fine 'til Li'l Junior turned her head back around!

something clever 386 10
04/21/2004 05:28 PM

... and that was the 2nd time i got crabs.

piXXXie 5,871 11
04/21/2004 05:46 PM

...and the doctor said it wouldn't bleed so much if I just kept my fingers outta there!

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 286,326 61
04/21/2004 05:52 PM

HAIR LIP! HAIR LIP!

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
04/21/2004 06:40 PM

May I go next father? There's no way I'm drinking from it after Sister Mary sits in it!

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
04/21/2004 06:40 PM

Me either! Must be the cobblestones.

Bonky 75,728 15
04/21/2004 06:40 PM

I said, 'open csme!'

The Llama-☼-nator 7,194 10
04/21/2004 07:39 PM

A smellicopter!

The Llama-☼-nator 7,194 10
04/21/2004 07:40 PM

I'm George W. Bush, and I want your vote.

Crayon_Eater 110 9
04/21/2004 07:41 PM

, dearie?

ringworm 68,315 13
04/21/2004 07:42 PM

they both fly around black holes wiping out klingons.

Mr_PeaCH 253 9
04/21/2004 08:25 PM

The one to this:



A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says...



It's been driving me crazy for, like, the past 20 years... help a BC fan out, huh?

Kilroy 4 9
04/21/2004 09:04 PM

I got a Frost for a duck, a duck for a Frost, and a hundred bucks for a duck Frosted up by a truck.

Mizz Swizz 3,957 10
04/21/2004 09:29 PM

"Mommy mommy!! Flash your headlights! There's a snake crawling into your bush!"

Chaudair 109 9
04/21/2004 09:37 PM

Johnny Harder!



I'm trying sir, I'm trying!

Taken 270 9
04/21/2004 09:44 PM

And then Miachael Jackson became the jailhouse pass-around.

Taken 270 9
04/21/2004 09:57 PM

And then Michael Jackson "forgot" and bent over to pick up his soap.

Bad Donkey 19,242 12
04/21/2004 10:01 PM

so, you've been to see that doctor?

Taken 270 9
04/21/2004 10:04 PM

So, he decided to use the dirty prostitue.

Thermopolis 666 13
04/21/2004 10:08 PM

....then the gay waiter said "Can I help you push in your stool?"

Nerd in a Halftrack 27,000 12
04/21/2004 10:09 PM

...so I said his name was Jeff.

Emenius 1,433 10
04/21/2004 10:12 PM

... only to be sodomized by Virn.

csme 15,189 12
04/21/2004 10:18 PM

Ginormous!

Taken 270 9
04/21/2004 10:21 PM

and then the groomer said, I did just wash my pussi.

Honey Bunches of Hollis 7,284 14
04/21/2004 10:26 PM

It really hurt.

Taken 270 9
04/21/2004 10:35 PM

So then Butternuts said, "...and then all the little children got cancer and died slowly and painfully, never having seen Disneyworld."

Mayo Clinic Is My Daddy 246 9
04/21/2004 10:52 PM

"Go Frost yourself"

Longhair 21 9
04/21/2004 10:58 PM

...Michael Jackson

Briham, Stewie's Worst Nightmare 38,843 10
04/21/2004 11:01 PM

One's made of plastic and should be kept away from children, and the other holds your groceries.

something clever 386 10
04/22/2004 12:12 AM

...recked 'em, damn near killed 'em!

gobadine 2,737 10
04/22/2004 12:17 AM

and kermit said,

you would sound like this with a hand up your butt!

Chi-Chi Felipe 161,353 14
04/22/2004 12:18 AM

Because he ate a twelve year old weiner. HAHAHAHAHAHA

The Mailman 176,432 56
04/22/2004 12:28 AM

... So the polar bear grabs the white rabbit and wipes his ass with it.

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
04/22/2004 12:29 AM

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Imal.







Say it out loud. It makes more sense that way.

gobadine 2,737 10
04/22/2004 12:38 AM

no little jonny, just because nuns have a habit, does not mean they are smacked up bitches

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/22/2004 12:45 AM

As he revs the motorcycle, "I wish the bear were gay."

High Priestess of Stewie is the bane of Briham 58,741 29
04/22/2004 12:46 AM

So does this mean we can hunt them now?

High Priestess of Stewie is the bane of Briham 58,741 29
04/22/2004 12:46 AM

...And Briham never walked again

Lobster 653 9
04/22/2004 01:05 AM

... then Brenda walks in and says "Has anybody seen Tommy?"

Escalades and Punkin-gators 3,585 11
04/22/2004 01:28 AM

5'9"

helloclarice 17 10
04/22/2004 01:31 AM

..."I thought she said get a monkey with a cold."

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
04/22/2004 08:44 AM

A NUN IN A BLENDER!!!

Trixxie teh Scientist 65,021 15
04/22/2004 11:41 AM

So I say "Sorry can't stop and chat right now, I've got a doornob stuck up my butt."

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/22/2004 11:46 AM

... and if she finds her way home, don't Frost her!

WillyD 8 9
04/22/2004 12:27 PM

Ever since he ate that cue ball he shoves everything in there.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
04/22/2004 12:29 PM

You can't use a pitchfork to unload a truckload of bowling balls.

DeadMike 3,390 10
04/22/2004 12:34 PM

i don't understand, we've never had a liberal in our family.

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
04/22/2004 12:37 PM

"I would if I could. But I can't because she's only got one hand, you insensitive bitch!"

Toonces 514 10
04/22/2004 12:41 PM

Get you're ass back in that truck and get it out of here. Those ****** eggs are starting to hatch!

Toonces 514 10
04/22/2004 12:42 PM

Now I've got Shakespeare on my hands and four quarters stuck up my ass!

Chance 171,270 14
04/22/2004 12:48 PM

I didn't know they stacked Shakespeare that high.

HighSoci 30,076 18
04/22/2004 12:59 PM

and the funny thing is she really didn't know it wasn't butter.

Tom Brokaw and the Cork Soakers 2,131 10
04/22/2004 01:04 PM

Your mom.

I.B.Syndrome 385 9
04/22/2004 02:09 PM

i don't give a rat's ass about youth in asia

$pe¢iª£ þrøwnie$ ­­® 339 9
04/22/2004 02:12 PM

Blue-Footed Boobie!!!

something clever 386 10
04/22/2004 02:44 PM

Sally says "No, i just picked the scabbs and let the puss run out."

Admiral Obvious 1,412 10
04/22/2004 03:04 PM

...and that's how you kill a cat with a dildo.

something clever 386 10
04/22/2004 06:51 PM

...and say ouch.

Scruff Mcgruff 139 9
04/22/2004 07:02 PM

Rectum? Damn near killed 'em

something clever 386 10
04/22/2004 07:05 PM

i said that one already! sucka

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,744 10
04/22/2004 07:08 PM

Special Brown-Eye??

PatTheGreat 948 9
04/22/2004 07:57 PM

"Yeah!" said the kid, "He musta said 'Holy Shakespeare! A talking pig!'"

Crayon_Eater 110 9
04/22/2004 07:59 PM

fags!

0 9
04/22/2004 08:51 PM

oh, its take your child to work day, i thought it was try to make a child at work day!

Toastfucker 74 9
04/22/2004 08:56 PM

"now that's what i call a sticky situation"

Toastfucker 74 9
04/22/2004 08:57 PM

So I Frosted her twice and hit her in the head with a brick...

I.B.Syndrome 385 9
04/22/2004 10:03 PM

.....and that is why grandma has no door knobs in her house.

Longhair 21 9
04/22/2004 10:45 PM

... and thats how a muppet is made.

Sexual Harassment Pizza 270 9
04/22/2004 10:49 PM

.....and the moral is, Don't be a Frost-ing fag.

Sexual Harassment Pizza 270 9
04/22/2004 10:52 PM

..and then god decided to call them Asians.

IceFTSdonttakemeseriouslyman 2,131 10
04/22/2004 11:35 PM

and that's how i got 3 STD's from my sister's dildo.

brother bill 1,905 13
04/23/2004 01:43 AM

...two mushrooms and a nine fingered lesbian.

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 173,958 15
04/23/2004 03:44 AM

Spread your legs, honey. I lost my watch in there again.

steve mcgrew 0 9
04/23/2004 06:37 AM

you know the rules, no arms no cookies.

Toonces 514 10
04/23/2004 09:35 AM

...Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Frost-ing?

ButtercupBZ 24 10
04/23/2004 10:20 AM

guy:u idiot!

me:wat a freind to admit it *hug*

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 13
04/23/2004 10:23 AM

Looks like rain, Huh.

Freeze Dried Instant Coffee 10,327 12
04/23/2004 10:27 AM

The husband comes home and the new parrot says, "Hi Ken!"

Bad Donkey 19,242 12
04/23/2004 10:37 AM

He ate a 2 year old weiner.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/23/2004 01:11 PM

Raining like Frost out ain't it?

Cherry Binaca 74 9
04/23/2004 03:30 PM

Heywood Jablowmie

Cherry Binaca 74 9
04/23/2004 03:33 PM

...then the third nun says "Oh, that's a hard one!"

Cherry Binaca 74 9
04/23/2004 03:37 PM

Because it was stapled to the chicken.

$pe¢iª£ þrøwnie$ ­­® 339 9
04/23/2004 03:40 PM

...I said Vanilla Diet Pepsi

Cherry Binaca 74 9
04/23/2004 03:43 PM

Because he heard boys' pants were half off.

36 9
04/23/2004 05:19 PM

I guess blond guys aren't too smart either

Dr. Love 14,139 11
04/23/2004 09:57 PM

And so the wesal said to the watermelon- "That's not what I heard!"

ButtercupBZ 24 10
04/23/2004 10:09 PM

i thought u said plastic surgery im keeping them

Hyperspaz:zapsrepyH 3,290 11
04/24/2004 02:23 AM

..and then chickens pulls it from his ass saying, I was wondering where that go off to!

What the fuck goes here? 297 9
04/24/2004 02:28 AM

And from that day forward, they called her a man.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,662 14
05/07/2004 06:04 PM

And then....the other guy says...umm....he says something...oh crap I forgot, but it was really funny! hehehehe!



</former co-worker telling a joke>

theprez4lyf 6 9
05/07/2004 06:09 PM

"i just wanna be married" [a bride walks in] "i just want a million dollars"

Pat The Great 948 9
05/07/2004 07:05 PM

"Supplies!"

FloatingEdwina 4 9
05/07/2004 07:22 PM

And if the mailman hadn't been holding her down, she woulda gone up to heaven to!!

Flourescent Sombrero 91,274 10
05/07/2004 07:31 PM

And the other says, "Hey Mcleod, get offa my ewe!"

Cattle on Laxatives 1,423 10
05/07/2004 07:43 PM

"zat fly, he vill never make love again!"

the flying nun 1,412 10
05/08/2004 02:42 PM

"And I'll even hold your monkey!"