Kittunchops 24,397 9
04/21/2004 09:29 PM

On your face.



That was pretty weird since you are so ugly.

Fartpuppy - Now turning girls into lesbians 5,034 6
04/21/2004 09:30 PM

On someones door. Bitch had it coming

Blue-Footed Boobie 21,643 7
04/21/2004 09:31 PM

In a batch of Pizza dough at the restaurant.

Bankey 70,561 8
04/21/2004 09:32 PM

Fratberry's office

Fratberry 217,837 12
04/21/2004 09:32 PM

My pants.





They were on the bedroom floor at the time.

salvage semi-lurks 28,958 9
04/21/2004 09:32 PM

What the hell is peeing?

No_Key_Bandit 76,337 8
04/21/2004 09:33 PM

For me, it was in the toilet.

Hostile Environment Panda 125,597 11
04/21/2004 09:34 PM

In my pants.





Of course, I was three, and had a lot of juice that day.





But still, looking back, it's weird.

Chi-Chi Felipe 160,395 12
04/21/2004 09:34 PM

I peed in a girl's vagina.

Flourescent Sombrero 90,995 8
04/21/2004 09:36 PM

Out the window of a moving school bus, until my foot slipped off the seat. Then it was inside a moving school bus.

Lizzie Borderline 4,194 7
04/21/2004 09:37 PM

<action>drools.</action>

Someone peed in my mother, and that's how they got me.

Scotty Snuggleduck 5,349 8
04/21/2004 09:38 PM

The guy I work with and I sometimes go up to the grocery store after work and drink some High Life 16 ouncers. One day, after drinking a few, I began my drive home. I had to pee when I pulled out of the parking lot, but thought I could make it. On the way home, it hurt so bad that I finally pulled off into a parking lot. I got out of my car and tried to walk to no avail. It hurt so bad to move it was embarrassing, it was the middle of the day, and I was half crocked. I looked like I had cerebral palsey or something. So, I got back in my car and proceeded to piss into the empty 16 oz cans of High Life, filling them one by one and placing them on the ground outside my car. I filled 3.5 of them and left them neatly in the parking lot. I feel sorry for the hobo who drank them, but that's purely speculative.

Jujube monkey 23,685 9
04/21/2004 09:38 PM

I think I told this one before,



My family used to have one of those Conversion vans with the refrigerator, sink and captains chairs. Well my dad took out the chair behind the passenger seat and it left four holes that you could see the street from. One time I had to piss so bad, but there was no where to go cause we were out in the middle of nowhere. My brother dared me to piss in one of the holes, I put my pecker up to the hole and started to piss, only to pull it away almost instantly cause my dick was practicly on fire from the heat of the asphalt. I still got the scar if anyone wants to see it.

Fartpuppy - Now turning girls into lesbians 5,034 6
04/21/2004 09:38 PM

One of my friends did a piss in a half pipe, slipped in it and snapped his tooth, he then threw up making finding the tooth impossible and disguisting.

butternuts 14,359 7
04/21/2004 09:41 PM

Off the side of a parking garage, five stories up.



On the summit of a volcano.



Into a hole in a glacier that was melted by ten other people's pee.



Into your sister's mouth.

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 168,544 11
04/21/2004 09:46 PM

Canada. It was in a river, and it was very cold. I had to work for a good ten minutes to make that piss come out.

Chi-Chi Felipe 160,395 12
04/21/2004 09:51 PM

When I was seven the year was 1984 and my mom took us to the roller rink so we could skate around and listen to Journey and play Pac-Man. I had to pee really bad so I skated into the bathroom and started peeing, but as my pee stream reached full force, my inept skating ability reared its head and I began to flail around to try and maintain my balance. I sent a powerful stream of piss in every direction, including all over myself. So I went to the sink and splashed water on me, a trick I still do to this day. THE END.

Vlad The Impaler 19,532 10
04/21/2004 09:53 PM

Into a hole in a glacier that was melted by ten other people's pee.



That's the last time Vlad will buy bottled glacier water. Vlad isn't taking any chances.

IceFTSdonttakemeseriouslyman 2,128 6
04/21/2004 09:53 PM

In my boss's mouth. I wanted a raise, and he wanted a golden shower. Simple as that.

sharribarri 14,050 8
04/21/2004 09:54 PM

In the shower. I hear its great for athlete's foot.



Not that I have athlete's foot or anything.



Just for the understanding of someone else's pain.

Fratberry 217,837 12
04/21/2004 09:55 PM

Fratberry's office



Hey, you said that was lemonade!



Heh, I guess at some point it probably was.

Prof.Fantabulous 19,573 9
04/21/2004 09:55 PM

A guy i work with, dressed up as oscar the grouch for Halloween. The garbage can made it difficult for him to use the urinals, so he placed the can over the floor drain.

Shayrose 182 7
04/21/2004 10:03 PM

I used to bartend in an oh-so-hip nightclub on Miami's South Beach. There was always a long line for the bathrooms and it was hard to leave the bar for long enough to wait on the lines. Our beer cooler was right across the main dance floor, so you would have to take a plastic cup and some beverage napkins, walk to the cooler, pee in the cup, wipe, then cross the dance floor holding a FULL CUP OF URINE, came back to the bar, spill the contents down the sink, wash hands, and continue busting out drinks.



When I started working there I was horrified by this but in a week or two it was no big deal. Every employee tried to keep it as neat and clean as possible (no cups or napkins left in the cooler, no reusing the plastic cups for beers, always washing afterwards.) Ironically, the cooler was the cleanest and most sanitary employee bathroom I have ever seen.

HighSoci 26,530 8
04/21/2004 10:15 PM

i've peed out of my pinky finger once..... talk about weird

csme 14,840 9
04/21/2004 10:34 PM

I peed on mynutzinyourface. I was tired of hearing him beg me to do it.





Whiney-ass mother-Froster.

larkknot 3,341 8
04/21/2004 10:46 PM

I can't believe none of the regular posters have said this yet... but the strangest place I've peed is on Zug

Mr.Glass: The World's First Smartmonaut 25,293 9
04/21/2004 10:59 PM

<action>switches his funny-O-tron off</action>

What? That's impossible... for the internet is an unsubstantial infinity, made up of intangible datagrams stored across the globe. Thus it would require too much co-ordinated effort and man-resource to successfully urinate on every Server to assure complete and utter urination.

MrPeg 260 7
04/21/2004 11:03 PM

While Sat in my computer chair..



I was too vegged out to move and just went.. i've got my IRC logs from then somewhere...

MrPeg 260 7
04/21/2004 11:04 PM

[03:21]<%MrPeg> Dammit, I REALLY gotta pee

[03:21]<@Firion> Well Go then!

[03:21]<%MrPeg> But, MeH, don't wanna have to move

[03:22]<@Firion> Well shush then f00

[03:22]<%MrPeg> Can't...Hold...On

[03:24]<%MrPeg> Oh dear...

[03:24]*%MrPeg is sat soaked in his own urine*

[03:25]*+Halberd is getting turned on*

[03:25]<%MrPeg>..WHA...O.M.G!

MrPeg was Kicked By Firion (EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW)

Jujube monkey 23,685 9
04/21/2004 11:05 PM

Uh it's ok we believe you.....





weirdo



If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south, that'd be too bad, I'd be so sad

Declan McManus: The ice in Lila's sweet tea 115,715 10
04/22/2004 01:08 AM

Do you really want me to answer that?

KChiki 49,650 11
04/22/2004 01:13 AM

That'd be too bad? You'd be so sad??

godot 15,389 8
04/22/2004 01:28 AM

When I lived in London - I peed on Tower Bridge.



I really didn't think anything of it - until I got back in the states. It seems almost every movie set in london shows tower bridge at some point. Every time - I exclaim "I peed there - right there!!!"

Declan McManus: The ice in Lila's sweet tea 115,715 10
04/22/2004 01:43 AM

That's great, godot.



I peed in the staff men's room at Tower (Records) in Nashville.

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 168,544 11
04/22/2004 01:55 AM

Godot, have you ever posted that story on GAB before? I could swear I've heard it before. Or maybe it was someone else who posted it before.

No_Key_Bandit 76,337 8
04/22/2004 01:59 AM

"What? That's impossible... for the internet is an unsubstantial infinity, made up of intangible datagrams stored across the globe. Thus it would require too much co-ordinated effort and man-resource to successfully urinate on every Server to assure complete and utter urination."



You said assure.

superchicken 6,660 0
04/22/2004 02:04 AM

just a couple weeks ago, i drunkenly kinda sleepwalked and peed on this very desk i am typing at.



true story. i woke up in the morning, and was like what the Frost????

Briham, The World's Sexiest N00b 38,580 7
04/22/2004 02:08 AM

One time, when I was little, my older brother was making me mad, so I pissed on his shoulder.

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 168,544 11
04/22/2004 02:13 AM

When I was 3 or 4, my brother used to babysit ma when my parents would go out. He was much older, but he was young enough that he still loved torturing me. One of his favorite things to do was to put me in my room and block the door with somthing. I remember one time I really had to pee but he wouldn't let me out. The only thing I could find in my room was the tea pot from my tes set. I peed in it, and forgot about it until the nextday when I decided to have a tea party with the little girl next door. It was months before her mom would let her play with me again.

superchicken 6,660 0
04/22/2004 02:21 AM

you're brother used to babysit youe mom when your parents were out?

superchicken 6,660 0
04/22/2004 02:21 AM

youe



damn!

TTJane-Spicey is my Tarzan 168,544 11
04/22/2004 02:23 AM

you're brother



Putting an E on the end of you isn't your biggest problem. But yeah, he used to baby-sit me. What's wrong with that?

superchicken 6,660 0
04/22/2004 02:24 AM

yeah, i suck bad. teach me to try to be a smart ass.

sharribarri 14,050 8
04/22/2004 02:27 AM

When I was 3 or 4, I was being watched by my brother who is 10 years older than me. He had to give me a bath and while in the tub, I went #1 & #2.



Obviously, he saw and asked me if I had peed in the tub, but I tried to convince him I didn't. I guess the logs floating around made it kind of hard to miss. End of story.



almost.



I've always peed in the tub and just recently came up with a plausible excuse.



end scene.

something clever 372 6
04/22/2004 02:34 AM

When i was a freshmen i peed in a fruitopia bottle and dumped blue ink in it... THEN i shoved it inside the machine!



"hey look i got a free fruitopia"



The best thing is they don't have blue fruitopias in the machine.

Chili McChillChill 8,880 10
04/22/2004 02:48 AM

I once peed on the Lincoln Memorial. Ugly bastard.









Well, it was more like at the Lincoln Memorial, in a regular restroom. But it was right there in the memorial, so I still stand by my story.

piXXXie 5,838 7
04/22/2004 02:49 AM

In my underwear but NOT my pants at a UCLA football game...

DeadMike 3,384 7
04/22/2004 02:49 AM

over on the unused side of my waterbed.

I.B.Syndrome 385 6
04/22/2004 02:53 AM

Chi Chi Felipe

"I peed in a girl's vagina."







girls vagina????

Fluro 14,069 9
04/22/2004 02:55 AM

I peed out of my dick, once. I think that's pretty weird

csme 14,840 9
04/22/2004 02:57 AM

I thought I was the only one who noticed he said girl's vagina.



I guess he wants to make sure he didn't mean his pocket Poe.

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 237,483 14
04/22/2004 02:58 AM

In the coffee pot at Gablanta.

Chickens- the Garden Center's Bitch 237,483 14
04/22/2004 03:00 AM

My kid peed in the middle of the field at the Highland Games last weekend during the calling of the clans. He had on his kilt and was regimental,it was dark but for the torches, so he just aimed down, steped wide and cut loose in front of probably 6000 people.



I was standing right next to him and never knew till my wife told me later.

DeadMike 3,384 7
04/22/2004 03:00 AM

a buddy of mine (we were 10 yrs old) peed all over a little 4 yr old kid. his mom called the cops.

I.B.Syndrome 385 6
04/22/2004 03:00 AM

is the pocket labia sold by the same company that sells the pocket fisherman?

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,160 9
04/22/2004 03:10 AM

A few years ago, Mrs. Lloyd's parents came to Ontario for the Tim Horton's franchisee conference in Ottawa on Canada Day. They invited us to come down for the parties so we did.



On July 1, there was a private concert by Nathalie MacMaster in the conference centre, and then they had the roof of the centre booked for watching the fireworks. By the end of the evening, my father-in-law and I were both pretty much wasted.

The four of us went for a stroll around town after the festivities were over and at some point, he and I lost the wives as we walked up Parliament Hill. After wandering around, looking for then, we spent some time trying to convince the cop guarding the door to let us into the house of commmons for a look (it was about 2am). Then I had to pee, so being completely brilliant, I crossed the street and peed next to the little trailer thing that was set up on the side of the road. It looked like a construction crew trailer, so I didn't think anything of it, until as I was peeing I saw the sign that said "TEMPORARY SPECIAL EVENT POLICE STATION."

Just after I read that, but before I had a chance to cut off the stream and go somewhere else, 3 cops stepped out. I was standing right next to the door with my weiner in my hand and if I had moved 1/2 an inch to the left I would have peed on their Doc Martins. Each of them just stood there, looking at my thing and shaking their heads. My first instinct was to say "hey, it's not THAT small!", but instead, I cut off the stream, packed it away and ran, following my 50-year-old father-in-law down Parliament Hill.

So, peeing about 1/2 an inch away from a cop's boot, standing in front of the Parlaiment Buildings, with my wife's father watching is the strangest place I've ever peed.

Llunch Llady Lloyd 48,160 9
04/22/2004 03:12 AM

Also, once in little league, I had to go so badly that I peed right in centre field. I figured that nobody would be looking out there. Then in the middle of it, Jeremy Jackson hit a ball right to me. Oh, the laughter from the parents in the stands.

DeadMike 3,384 7
04/22/2004 03:15 AM

oh, the lack of laughter from anyone reading that..

Phuc 231,135 13
04/22/2004 03:37 AM

Frost-ing brilliant. Kudos to you all! And I'm really, truly impressed at the lack of passive-aggressive urinary acts!



Despite my obsession with all things excretory, I can't think of any weird places I've taken a whizz.



Except the third rail of the A train in Manhattan.



I'm still here and I can still feel my peepee. ...in fact, I'm doing so right now!

gobadine 2,726 6
04/22/2004 03:43 AM

in someones overcoat pocket on the underground. I was drunk, she was wearing fur.

Daggy 85,890 10
04/22/2004 03:46 AM

I don't pee on weird places because I am slightly posh.



This is one of the prettiest places I have peed in.

Marilyn 12,450 11
04/22/2004 04:47 AM

I vagina is bored. She's never peed in all the exotic places yours have.



I can't believe I have a bored vagina. Well actually she's been upsetting me. She thinks Nick Cage is hot. I'm all like no-oo.

Crayon_Eater 110 6
04/22/2004 04:50 AM

The wierdest place I have peed?







out of my wiener.

I.B.Syndrome 385 6
04/22/2004 05:00 AM

sometimes when i eat taco bell it feels like i am peeing out of my butt

Mr_PeaCH 253 6
04/22/2004 05:01 AM

Amateurs!



Sincerely,



R. Kelly

gobadine 2,726 6
04/22/2004 05:22 AM

thanks to this thread, and me being in on a night shift with few people in the office, I have taken your musings and tried to better them.



congrats to me, for taking a pee

in the bossess humidifier.



I am so fired if they ever check the security tapes.



BOSS "before I fire you, why did you piss in the humidifier Gobadine?"



Gobadine to earn the clicks and respect of the Gabbers Sir.



Boss well you didnt and your fired!

Me Spicey. You Jane. 102,660 13
04/22/2004 05:41 AM

Haters wanna hate.

Lovers wanna love.

I don't even want

None of the above.

I wanna piss on you.

Yes I do.

Honey Bunches of Hollis 7,028 8
04/22/2004 05:51 AM

In the ocean.

gobadine 2,726 6
04/22/2004 05:56 AM

do you mean in Billy Ocean?, because he smells of piss

Marilyn 12,450 11
04/22/2004 05:58 AM

Carribean Queen was a good song.

gobadine 2,726 6
04/22/2004 06:02 AM

she was a better lay!

Thermopolis 666 10
04/22/2004 06:18 AM

I once peed in a Gatorade bottle in the back of a truck. It was out of sheer desperation though. No where else to go and couldn't hold it!!!

Lizzie Girl 51 6
04/22/2004 07:17 AM

I had spent the night with my now ex-boyfriend. His room was in the basement and since I wasn't supposed to be there I had to pee in the slop sink thing they had by the washer. It was too high and big for me to balance on so he had to hold me while I went.

Taken 270 6
04/22/2004 07:25 AM

In my sister's mouth!!

Mayo Clinic Is My Daddy 246 7
04/22/2004 07:55 AM

In Taken's Mom's face, well we did that all the time so it isnt the strangest place for me.

Pop-Tart Dude 53 6
09/12/2004 09:08 AM

I once pee'd on a dolphin

Pistol luvs you with bullets 9,993 7
09/12/2004 11:00 AM

When I was a little girl, I laughed so hard that I peed on myself while I was sitting on my dad's lap.



Reason #487862 why you shouldn't have kids.

Happy Fun Ball 847 6
09/12/2004 11:09 AM

I had 25 beers and little food, I passed out in my roommates room, he took the couch rather than attempt to wake me as I'm violent upon waking suddenly, well, 2 men, one bathroom, sometimes we piss off the back deck, I was totally drunk and sleepwalking in my stupor, I neglected to open the back door, just stood there pissing on the back door and the dryer. My roommate walked up and said "Dude, your pissing on the dryer." I actually replied, " Shakespeare happens." I then stole his spot on the couch and he threw down a towel over my mess and went to bed..... Wierdest night ever, I still don't remember it.

Oliver Chest 201,853 7
09/12/2004 11:33 AM

On a room mates bed. He deserved it. He called the cops on us.



Not my most proud moment, but he moved out shortly after.

Oliver Chest 201,853 7
09/12/2004 11:41 AM

And I was VERY drunk.

Napkin God 30,677 7
09/12/2004 01:56 PM

When I was 5, I would pee right outside my little bed onto the floor. I guess I thought that it would evaporate. After about a month, my room smelt STRONGLY of urine and my parents had the carpet cleaned and told me to use the potty.

Lamburkey 32,896 7
09/12/2004 02:20 PM

I peed off a balcony on a drunken dare. It was all going fine until the wind changed.



At least the people who dared me got to feel the ocean spray too.

millie 106,732 10
09/13/2004 12:39 AM

I peed in the middle of a crowd at a concert once. It was an outdoor concert, and I asked the girls in front of me if they minded if I peed, as it would go downhill. They didn't care.

Dogs Akimbo 157,926 11
09/13/2004 12:53 AM

is the pocket labia sold by the same company that sells the pocket fisherman?



I dunno, but I'm hooked on both of 'em.

Phla Mignon 101,899 12
09/13/2004 12:55 AM

My dad and I set out to conquer Mt. St. Helen's two years back and somewhere way above the timberline and into the snow, my bladder decided it was time to purge itself.



Having no trees to hide behind, my only choice was to wander out off the beaten path, have a seat, look out onto the wonder that is the Northwest, and make some yellow snow.



It was only later, while driving back into Portland, seeing the volcano/mountain from a whole state away did I realize just how many people must have been looking at the mountain while I was sitting down to pee.



And so you see, many many many people know I'm a girl now.

Dogs Akimbo 157,926 11
09/13/2004 12:59 AM

And so you see, many many many people know I'm a girl now



Only because you admit that you care if people watch you pee.

VictoriaSwallows 339 6
09/13/2004 01:08 AM

I peed in a Girl Scout camp.





This is not so bizarre, but it was on the side of the cabin right outside the side door. There was a blob of toilet paper right there.

Wicked Wedgie Woman 15,638 6
09/13/2004 01:13 AM

At Ozzest the porta potties were so bad they were unusable. My grilfriend and I devised a clever little "bathroom" of our own by opening the front passenger side door and the rear passenger side door creating a little room. We used a blanket to block off the fron opening.



We faled to take into consideration that in order not to pee on ourselves we had to lean down pretty far.



Result: All the guys across the parking lot from us saw our barebottoms as we were peeing.

Hot Beverage 2,715 7
09/13/2004 02:01 AM

I had a party at my place last weekend. My friend Matt got hammered.



In the middle of the night he got up to take a piss, but he didn't quite make it to the bathroom.



He stood over a sleeping Joe and Amanda, and started pissing on them, then he turned and grabbed the handle of a drawer behind him before he fell over. Surprisingly, no one was mad at Matt the next day. Perhaps it was because they were traumatized, or perhaps they forgave him because he at least made sure to flush afterwards.

Munkus 2,794 7
09/13/2004 04:21 AM

A friend of mine held a party at his house which at the time was having a 2nd-story extension above his garage built, so after a few drinks I climbed the scaffolding and stood on the corner of the garage and proceeded to urinate on to his kitchen window, everyone came to watch but fortunatly it was dark so they couldnt have see my small shriveled member embarrasingly huge trouser-snake.

Briham 38,580 7
09/13/2004 07:10 AM

Approximatly 8-10 years ago, my family was on vacation and I, being a little kid, needed to pee while we were on the highway. Since there was no town for quite a distance, my dad passed an empty cup back to me to pee in. I filled it up, and I think I may have spilled a little and handed my dad wet cup. I can't quite remember because it was nothing compared to what happened next. My dad opened up the window to dump the urine out, but when he did, the wind blew some right back in his face. While he was yelling at me, my brother and cousins were trying not to laugh while they watched the little droplets of pee clinging to the window.

NaClDave 3,585 6
09/13/2004 07:17 AM

the strangest place ive ever POOed is when i was at the beach once, swimming, and had to go so bad, and so suddenly, that i dropped my drawers underwater....it was very odd feeling the log float up my back to the surface.....and i also swam really fast back to the shore.....

Frogpop 154,661 12
09/13/2004 10:18 AM

It takes a pee thread to bring back the Beverage? yeesh.

NaClDave 3,585 6
09/13/2004 10:21 AM

actually, the weirdest place i ever peed was out of my vagina.....

Hollis the Butt Munch! 7,028 8
09/13/2004 10:27 AM

A couple of my guy friends were discussing the other day about how guys can piss pretty much anywhere they want while girls are more restricted in that area. Just to prove a point, I pissed off of a bridge.

Crackalacka!! 68,154 8
12/18/2004 10:45 PM

Out the back of my head. It blew my Frost-ing mind.

jlfjr65 888 6
12/18/2004 11:11 PM

One underage night of binge drinking at a Japanese hibachi bar, I decided to get up on the bar and pee all over the bar tender, the bottles of liqour, and all the people around me. I had never had my ass kicked that bad or such a big bar tab in my life

Cocidius 436 7
01/02/2005 11:49 PM

In high school, a lot of my friends lived in a nice little community with a nice little city park, complete with slides, a merry go round, little spring ride toys, and swings. We liked to get drunk and go there at midnight, you know, just to sit around and talk.



One night, I decided it might be funny to pee in this little spring race car thing. My friends, upon seeing this, also thought this would be a good idea and we proceeded to pee all over the other spring ride toys, merry go round, and swings.



I woke up at Jordan's house the next day, feeling like a train had hit me. As I drove home, I noticed a bunch of kids playing at the park, and lining up for the racecar I had peed in to start it off.

evreet, formerly Sy the Photo Guy 6,528 8
01/02/2005 11:57 PM

I'm not afraid when mens restrooms are being cleaned or there is one stall to use a womens restroom. I think you have to do what you have to do or have an accident.



I once worked in an office (Thomas Conveyor Co.) that had (2) single-stall restrooms for 150 workers. The president of the company, upon finding the men's room occupied, would head for the women's while saying "Any port in a storm!"...

Phla Mignon 101,899 12
01/03/2005 12:06 AM

had (2) single-stall restrooms for 150 workers.



There's gotta be rules against that kind of thing.



I once worked on a construction site with four portapotties, one with a padlock.



"What's that one for?"

"The ladies' room."

I laugh.

"No, seriously. It's the ladies' room, but someone lost the key."

Roofie Raccoon 56,378 7
01/03/2005 12:06 AM

"Any port in a storm!"



Was he expecting a tsunami of poop?

jepreport - premature articulator 57,781 10
01/03/2005 12:24 AM

I once peed in the windshield washer fluid bin at the corner gas station. In fact, hurled into it too about a year after that. Both incidents were alcohol induced.

Just Chit till Presidents Day 163,426 10
01/03/2005 12:27 AM

When I was about 14 years old, I was at a dept. store with two buddies, and we were on the top floor because they used to sell demo Shakespeare stereos etc... up there.

So we got done messing around up there and went to ride the elevator down and one of us got the idea to open the doors between floors and pulled them open which stopped the lift. We were so shocked it stopped someone else decided to piss through the doors, so we all did.

After that we let the doors go, and proceeded down, and like idiots we never thought that when we got to the bottom, there would be a crowd of women waiting and a yellow puddle with piss dripping down as they all stood back watching.

When the doors opened we were stunned, someone took off running, and I just remember following.

evreet, formerly Sy the Photo Guy 6,528 8
01/03/2005 12:27 AM

There's gotta be rules against that kind of thing.



Of course there is, Phla, but I'm an old fart, and this was 35 years ago...

OldIron 230 6
01/03/2005 10:47 AM

Out of the back of a moving truck in below freezing weather. I was drunk, cold, and very shrivled. I have pissed off many bridges and in the back of several random trucks. Alcohol is often (read: always) involved.

Futuristic Filly 26,614 11
01/03/2005 11:11 AM

I haven't peed in a weird place so much as it was weird the way it happened. I was sitting on the toilet....with one of my girl friends next to me, and we were sitting sideways on it so that both of us fit on the toilet. Hey, it was an emergency!

Loociam Yofada 59,227 11
01/03/2005 11:35 AM

Last spring (around the time this thread started, actually), I was taking a 3 hour trip with my toddler asleep in the back of the car. I had to pee badly, but didn't want to stop and have her wake up (that would be a real pain in the ass). Her diaper bag was sitting next to me, so I got an idea. While driving down the highway, I managed to shove a diaper down my pants. That was the easy part. The hard part was attempting to reverse decades of training by actually willing myself to pee in my pants. It was a heck of a lot harder than I realized. Plus I was afraid I would leak out, so after peeing only a third, I pulled it out and put in another one. My toddler would have laughed at my amatuer diaper skills.

CrazyInLove 245 6
03/13/2005 08:32 AM

If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south, that'd be too bad, I'd be so sad



gotta love veggietales...

Father brandon 596 5
03/13/2005 08:46 AM

I was trying to piss in a cup in the back seat of my car, but I ended up spraying it over the front seats. needless to say, the driver was not thrilled.

Sylvester 4,447 6
03/13/2005 09:38 AM

The Bellagio fountain.

gwallaia 2,607 9
06/15/2005 11:43 PM

When I kill a roach, I toss it in the toilet and try to sink it with my stream. Roaches are very hard to sink.

Kake-Pope of Chili town 55,143 10
06/15/2005 11:45 PM

I save all my roaches, and then make another joint from them. It's called a second generation joint, and it gets you really messed up. I'd never pee on one.

Fluorescent Sombrero 90,995 8
06/15/2005 11:48 PM

It's called a 2nd gen Roint, Kake.



Roint.

Coco's Chest 1,756 6
06/15/2005 11:58 PM

In a cemetery, on top of holly. I was with a group of girls on a school camp walking trip - there was also the male, relatively good-looking teacher standing facing the church so that he wouldn't get in trouble for perversion. He kept on asking 'Are you done yet...?' whilst we hid in the trees, pretending not to have finished and having a break from the walking.

Big Irish Guy 174,269 10
06/16/2005 12:01 AM

...on top of holly



That slut always liked a good golden shower.

gorckat 40,929 10
06/16/2005 12:09 AM

In my second grade classroom. Without leaving my chair. And tried to deny it was me.

IceScreamCone 280 6
06/16/2005 12:14 AM

and that was... yesterday?

gorckat 40,929 10
06/16/2005 12:31 AM

Teaching pays the bills, plus I get summer off.

AussieSarah 8,376 7
06/16/2005 11:26 AM

Hanging from a harness off the back of sailing boat.

I was fine until saw I fin coming up through the water

[turns out it was the weirdest place I've Shakespeare as well].

I am Straw 59,227 11
06/16/2005 11:32 AM

<action>reads her post from January and shakes her head.</action>

I still can't believe I did that. What if I'd gotten into an accident? How the hell would I have explained it to the cops?

lupience- avid bible reader 26,463 6
06/16/2005 11:44 AM

so I was scanning this thread, and found it scientifically bemusing that it's about pee, and the further down the posts you go, the less pee there is in the tubes.

this is an underwhelming discovery.







I like cheese as well.

supergrover 4,494 6
06/16/2005 01:53 PM

One time my friend made me pull over because she was drunk and every place was closed. She laughed and asked if I'd think it was funny if she peed on a car. I said sure and let her out next to an old mustang. I looked over two seconds later, expecting her to be squatting next to a tire, and instead saw her squatting on the Frost-ing hood and taking a dump.

supergrover 4,494 6
06/16/2005 01:59 PM

Personally, another friend and I were sitting in my car getting drunk before a concert. It was too cold to walk someplace and we didn't want to drive anywhere and lose our parking spot.



Instead we found an old bucket in my backseat and managed to situate it so we could sit over it and to anyone else it would look like we were leaning forward in our seats.



At least I hope that's what it looked like, because there were a lot of people around and some of them kept looking at us.



We left it in the car and when we came back from the concert the smell in the car was horrible.

REAPERR-FU 12,322 8
06/16/2005 02:12 PM

What is this the 70's?

Steaming Pile 293 5
06/16/2005 04:47 PM

When I was a toddler I peed in my dad's open briefcase before he left for work. Swear to God.



Also, about 4 years ago I was baking a brownie in the woods, and I quickly realized that I had picked an unfortunate location: I was dumping right over a yellowjacket nest. I got stung on my left wrist and right ear.



My dad has the best true story, though. When he was in second grade, he had been holding back a log all day because he didn't like to go at school, and after a while he farted at his desk, and a tiny little turd squeezed out. So he sort of worked it all the way down his pant leg until it fell onto the floor. He said that eventually the teacher noticed it and picked it up with some paper towels, not saying a word.

dropkick brody 41,372 9
06/16/2005 05:31 PM

In all seriousness. (when I was about 4)



A bunker at a golf course.

Nathaniel T. Kittenstomp 121 7
06/16/2005 07:05 PM

'Twas in a movie theatre, near the end of From Duck Til Dawn. We were in the back, so the stream ran all the way to the front of the theatre.



Man, high school was great.

Nathaniel T. Kittenstomp 121 7
06/16/2005 07:07 PM

From Duck Till Dawn, bring the Tarantino sequel to Howard the Duck, of course.

Underwhere? 72,545 13
06/16/2005 09:49 PM

<action>'s real name is Holly</action>



...on top of holly



That slut always liked a good golden shower.



What the Frost BIG? That isn't true!









Okay, yes it is.

PowBlocks 782 6
06/16/2005 09:56 PM

"My family used to have one of those Conversion vans with the refrigerator, sink and captains chairs. Well my dad took out the chair behind the passenger seat and it left four holes that you could see the street from. One time I had to piss so bad, but there was no where to go cause we were out in the middle of nowhere. My brother dared me to piss in one of the holes, I put my pecker up to the hole and started to piss, only to pull it away almost instantly cause my dick was practicly on fire from the heat of the asphalt. I still got the scar if anyone wants to see it."



I find it sad that anyone else is that stupid.



I thought I was the only one that did that as a kid.

gorckat 40,929 10
06/16/2005 09:56 PM

When I was 8 and my cousin 5, our parents stopped the car on the interstate so he and I could pee. I stood beside the car so as not to be seen. His 5 year old logic was, "If I stand next to the car, I'm closer to the cars on the road and they'll see me, so I'll go away from the car."



Which would have been fine, if away from the car had not been up the embankment so that he had no cover whatsoever.



Also, since urine is one way dogs assert dominance, whenever I've gotten a new dog in the last dew years, I've been tempted to piss on it, just to show it who's the boss.

Mike Bragg 216 5
11/05/2005 02:29 PM

Oh yes, I peed on a golf course before. That was sublime. I was nicely toasted, peeing into a golf course lake, and it was all wonderfully surreal.

gwallaia 2,607 9
11/05/2005 07:37 PM

I used to live next door to a stripper named Mary in an apartment complex. One Saturday afternoon upon returning to my apartment, there were two women at Mary's door which was immediately across from mine.



One was knocking on the door, the other one was squatting down peeing. They both said hello as I fumbled for my keys.



Inside, my dogs Sadie and Maxwell hear my keys jingling and are eagerly waiting at the door for Daddy to return. As soon as I opened the door, both dogs shot out and Maxwell stopped sniffed the puddle of stripper pee, hiked his leg and marked his territory in her puddle and then went to take a Shakespeare.



By the way, the weirdest place I ever peed was in a bottle of aftershave.

Smart Choice 1,290 6
11/06/2005 11:45 AM

I peed in front of a squirrel once.

Lord Balsac, Jaws of Death 436 7
11/07/2005 02:08 AM

In college, I drunkenly woke up one night to go down the hall to the bathroom. Unfortunately, after I stood up, I thought I was already there, and after turning around my bed looked a lot like a urinal. So I peed and went back to bed. The next day, I tried to clean it with a cup of water, shampoo, and laundry detergent. It didn't work too well.



So I had a friend help me, and I switched mattresses with my roommate. Somehow he never noticed the massive urine stain on his bed.

The Masked Wedgie Giver 38 5
11/07/2005 02:28 AM

me an my friends played a game of piss circles which is where you spin in a circle while pissing in a public urinal. this got a bit too easy so we started pissing, pissed up a wall, out of the window and then walked over to the bin and sink. the last bit of piss i had went into a condom machine where the paid for condoms come out of. lets see someone take those out

the shiv of justice 262 5
11/07/2005 02:34 AM

So you messed up the condom machine? Guess you and your friends had unprotected anal sex that night, eh?

Which brings you to the next weirdest place you ever peed: buddy Bill's bung-hole.

Piquantrax - Cereal Killer 8,675 5
11/07/2005 02:39 AM

I once pissed in a bucket, along with a friend of mine, then we set a "trap" for my sister. Instead we got my neighbor, who is a gay opera singer/pianist.

Hilarity ensued, followed by cocktails.

Piquantrax - Cereal Killer 8,675 5
11/07/2005 02:42 AM

OH and once I came into a lampshade at a Howard Johnson in Buenas Aires, Argentina. Just cause the cleaning ladies stole like 3 bucks of mine. Then I proceeded to jizz in a drawer and finish with my crown piece, on the TV remote.

Piquantrax - Cereal Killer 8,675 5
11/07/2005 02:48 AM

I once shat in a strangers backyard in upstate NY. I wiped my ass with the World Weekly News.

Take that Bat-Boy

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,686 0
11/09/2005 09:24 AM

I peed on the side of a water fountain once.

JimmneyKritters2Korns 15,686 0
11/09/2005 09:25 AM

then I turned it on to flush

Evan with a grain of salt 36 5
12/04/2005 09:59 AM

When I was working at kroger (cougHELL!) I was in the freezer puttin out shrimp. i had to make a wish at the pissing well, but i didnt feel like walking to the other side of the store. I just let it go right there and last i heard the frozen slab of yellow was still there. Now I work at CVS training to be a pillpusher and Kroger closed not very long go... hated that place... Im gonna make a thread dedicated to how much i hated that store...

Dogs Akimbo 157,926 11
12/04/2005 10:05 AM

Idaho.

Mofo, Psychonautical Adventurer! 10,930 7
12/04/2005 12:39 PM

One time I peed on the wheelchair ramp of the church across the street from my house. I was 14, drinking about 20 pouches of Capri Sun, and skateboarding down the handicap ramp. I got to the bottom, turned sharply, the back wheel dropped off the sidewalk, and I went flying into the railing at about 70 mph and racked myself RIGHT in my full bladder. Somehow I didn't go over the railing. Which would have been like a 6-foot fall. But still I was literally seing stars from the impact. My bladder was about to burst internally. It HAD to be evacuated IMMEDIATELY. I rolled over, unzipped, and screaming in agony, I pissed all over the ramp. There was a little blood. What I didn't think about was that I should have rolled the other way. The piss came back down the ramp and got all over me. And I mean ALL over me. Not just my pants.



That's the weirdest one I can remember. I'm sure there have been plenty of weirder ones, but they didn't take place while I was any state of mind to where I would ever be able to recall them.

Out To A Christmas Party (Not Coming Home 'Til 2) 0 0
12/04/2005 12:48 PM

On my computer, notice how my posts are unfunny?

Runding 40 5
12/05/2005 12:47 AM

My 2 nephews were playing outside as my sister(their mother) walked out and realized one would pee on the slide of their swing set while the other would slide down in a frenzy of urine-slide fun!

lupience, Leaping with the Lords 26,463 6
12/15/2005 07:43 AM

What n00b dug up this thread?



I would like the weirdest place I ever peed to be in the gaping hole in your neck after your head is torn off by a snowblower.



Happy Holidays,

Lupience.

Piquantrax - Keeping Kwanzaa Kool 8,675 5
12/15/2005 07:47 AM

I once pissed on the side of a train, as I was riding it from a Pats game. The coldest game in their history. My piss froze to the side of the train. It was fun. I had a beer slushee.

homegrowneye 0 5
12/15/2005 07:52 AM

Why were you riding on the outside of a train?

Piquantrax - Keeping Kwanzaa Kool 8,675 5
12/15/2005 07:59 AM

No pissing out a doorway.

Bonky 75,356 13
12/15/2005 08:01 AM

From my urethra, Franklin.

homegrowneye 0 5
12/15/2005 08:04 AM

Couldn't you open a window?

lupience, Leaping with the Lords 26,463 6
12/15/2005 08:07 AM

Couldn't you open a window?

aargh. He peed on the outs- oh forget it. I'm going to get drunk.

homegrowneye 0 5
12/15/2005 08:12 AM

I thought you were drunk already.

lupience, Leaping with the Lords 26,463 6
12/15/2005 08:18 AM

What's your point?

Jingle Boobs McGee 6,325 8
12/15/2005 09:36 AM

I have peed in many many different places.

Once my sister made me mad when I was 4, so to get her back, I pissed in her bed, made it again, and blamed it on the cat.

Also in the same year, I peed my pants whilst playing barbies, and to cover it up I soaked up up with my barbies hair.... My dog ended up eating her the next day.

Fratberry 217,837 12
12/15/2005 10:42 AM

Right into a clown's mouth.

Dangeo 2,691 11
12/15/2005 08:59 PM

When I was a kid, traveling to grammas house... because we were "in a hurry"... Out of the back of a moving station wagon.



It was not pretty as the rest of the windows in the vehicle were up, and there was a reverse vortex created by 60mph travel speed.

Roast Beast Filled Pubah, Dipped in EggNogg 47,430 11
12/15/2005 09:12 PM

<action>Pees all over thread</action>



A comedy web site

kellygirl 0 4
08/24/2006 10:05 AM

One night late my husband were driving home from the city a distance of 60 miles. About 15 minutes on the road and I had to pee. I had my husband stop and follow me on thr train tracks behind some bushes that hid me from the road, While I was peeing on the tracks I said "hope the train dosen't come". Sure enough just as I was wipeing here comes the train. Have you ever had to pull up your panties, pantyhose and get your skirt down in two seconds? We have a boat and when I have to pee while on the boat I grt some TP. Then pull my jeans/shorts and panties down and sit on the side of the boat and pee in the water. When finished I wipe and drop the TP in the water. As I stand up I pull my panties up then my jeans or shorts. H've wondered what I would do if someone went by while I was sitting in the side? Hope they don't whistle.

Cantremember 645 4
08/24/2006 11:07 AM

I peed in an armoire at my friends wedding reception. There was massive amounts of alcohol involved, and I got put in bed at 8:30...